by Lea Coll
I searched the room until I found Emma sitting at a table with Luke. I sank into the chair next to her. “Thank God I found you.”
“It’s not that bad, is it?” She looked behind me as if to see if someone was bothering me.
I whispered, so she had lean toward me to hear, “Richard, a partner at my firm, was checking me out and asked if Logan and I were together. It was awkward.”
“I don’t blame him. You look hot tonight.”
“Ew, he’s my boss and married.” Not to mention way too old for me. I glanced down at her red dress. “You look hot too,”
Luke tugged her closer to him. “I know.” Then he said softly, “I can’t wait to get you home.”
“Guys, I can still hear you.” I looked away as Emma giggled.
Listening to them interact, I wanted that. The easy-going relationship, rushing home for hot sex. No rule forbidding employee relationships. Things were so easy for them.
I watched Logan talk to James with the other partners, focusing elsewhere to give Emma and Luke a moment. I needed to find some way to bring in a large client, but I didn’t have the first clue how to find one.
After a minute, Emma said, “It’s safe. You can look at me now.”
Luke got up. “Now that I’m the sheriff, I have to make my rounds. You two have fun.”
“You mingle, Mr. Sheriff. I’ll be waiting for you,” Emma said as Luke paused, leaning down to brush his lips across hers.
When he was gone, she turned her attention back to me. “So what did Logan say when Richard asked if you were together?”
“He said we weren’t. We can’t be together if one of us makes partner.”
“But it seems like a date. You came together, his hand is always on your back, and he had his arm around you.”
“His hand is on my back because I’m basically naked.” I knew I was stubborn, but the fact that the firm stood between us irked me.
She chuckled. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot that dress is backless. I’m surprised you guys made it tonight with you wearing that dress.”
“Me too.” I thought back to that moment on the couch when time seemed to stand still and there was only the warmth of his hand on my leg. Something in my voice must have tipped her off.
“Did something happen after we left?”
I flushed. I usually wasn’t embarrassed about kissing a guy, but that kiss was so much more passionate than anything I’d ever experienced. One kiss and I was ready to take off my dress to see how Logan would be in bed. Then my mind wandered back to what Logan had said about keeping my shoes on in the bedroom and it made me so hot I clenched my thighs together.
“OhmyGod. Why didn’t you tell me immediately?”
“Luke was here and it was just a kiss.”
“You just had a full body reaction to my question. It was way more than a kiss.”
I didn’t bother denying it, because she was right. That kiss was explosive. My mind flashed to an image of him hovering over me and thrusting inside me.
Emma snapped her fingers in front of my face. “I’m still here! Get your mind off of Logan’s hot body.”
“Sorry.” I tried to think about anything besides how sex would be with Logan. “It would be hot, Emma. Totally hot. I need that in my life.”
“You so do. Go for it.”
“Wouldn’t that be a mistake, though? We work together, share a dog. It would be awkward if it didn’t work out.”
For years, I didn’t want to acknowledge that there was something brimming beneath the surface because Logan wasn’t the man I envisioned for my future. But he’d shown me a completely different side of himself—one I could see myself with. “I want an easy—always know where you stand kind of guy.”
“Is that not me?” Logan said from behind my chair.
I winced, trying to gauge his reaction.
“Don’t worry about me. Continue your conversation.” Logan sat down next to me, draping his arm over the back of my chair. “I like to hear my attributes.”
I leaned back on the chair and his hand wrapped around my shoulder.
“Logan, it’s unfortunate this is the only way I can see you these days,” Cal Gray said.
Logan stood up to greet him, “Dad. I’ve been busy.”
Cal was an older graying version of Logan, slightly stockier and shorter.
I looked back and forth between them. Logan’s face was tight and his body stiff.
“Why don’t you come work for me? I read what’s been going on at Gunner in the paper. Do you want to work for a firm like that? One that had you quit your stable job to work temporarily for them?”
I tensed, waiting for Logan’s response. I’d wanted to know why he didn’t work for his dad, but I felt bad that Cal had confronted him in public.
“We didn’t know it was temporary at the time or even that it is. That’s just a rumor.” His words were clipped.
I wanted to step in and smooth things over but didn’t know how to soothe the tension between the two.
“Everyone, please be seated. Dinner is about to be served,” someone said over the loudspeaker.
I sighed in relief.
“This conversation isn’t done,” Mr. Gray said, moving back to his own table.
Logan sat back down, but his whole demeanor was different. He held his body tense, his hands in fists, and a muscle ticked in his jaw—a sharp contrast to the Logan I’d come to know.
“Hey, are you okay?” I placed my hand on his arm, but the muscles were stretched taut under my fingers.
He nodded but didn’t look at me. I didn’t know what else to say or do.
I looked around the table, thankful that Richard wasn’t seated by us. Instead, it was Sadie and other attorneys from different firms. Emma shot me a sympathetic look, but I didn’t think the other attorneys at the table noticed the exchange.
Logan remained quiet during the meal and appeared to listen attentively to the speeches about what the foundation was doing to protect and restore the bay, rivers, and streams.
I teased him for being too easygoing, too much the life of the party, but now that he wasn’t, I missed it. I never thought I’d say it, but I wanted charming Logan back.
When the music started, Logan stood and held out his hand to me. “Will you dance with me?” The expression on his face was vulnerable and sweet, and I placed my hand in his and let him guide me to the dance floor.
I scanned the room for Richard. Relationships were frowned upon, but we were supposed to socialize tonight and the event did involve dancing.
Logan pulled me in close with his hand on my back and the other holding my hand. I placed my hand on his back, feeling the stiff tuxedo jacket under my fingers and the starchiness of his white button-down shirt on my cheek, we stood so close.
“You only wanted to dance to feel me up,” I joked, trying to draw him out of his contemplative mood.
“I do love the feel of your body against mine,” he murmured into my hair.
And with that statement, my body was on fire again.
He went on, “You have the most expressive eyes. They’re usually saying you want to kick my ass, but tonight, they’re saying something very different—”
I lowered my lashes suddenly worried that every thought I had was telegraphed.
“Don’t hide from me. Stop running from us and what we could be.”
I tilted my head to see him. “And what could we be?” I held my breath, waiting for him to answer.
“We could be everything if you’d let go and see where this takes us.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he wanted one night or something serious, but it didn’t matter because we couldn’t be anything while we worked for the same firm. The situation seemed impossible, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment in his arms if it was the only one I’d get.
Instead, I remained silent, tightening my hand in his, pulling him closer to me with my hand on his back until I was resting my head on his c
hest. Closing my eyes to enjoy the sound of the music and the other couples floating around us. It was only him and me and the feel of his body pressed against mine.
WE RODE BACK TO MY apartment in silence. My heart was racing and my palms sweaty. I wasn’t sure if he’d make a move or if he’d changed his mind. I knew if he touched me or kissed me, I wouldn’t be able to resist him. I studied the side of his face trying to gauge his mood. Since we’d climbed into the cab of his truck he hadn’t even touched me. I didn’t know what to think.
“We’re home, Cinderella.” He parked at the curb in front of my apartment and finally looked at me.
When his eyes met mine, I asked, “Walk me up?” I knew without question I wasn’t ready for this night to end. Maybe we could have tonight and deal with reality tomorrow.
“Of course.” He came around and helped me out of his truck.
When I unlocked the door and the apartment was silent, Logan entered behind me, asking, “Where’s Bailey?” when he didn’t come to greet us.
“Emma’s babysitting tonight. Would you like something to drink? I always keep beer on hand if one of the guys stops by.”
Logan raised his eyebrow at me. “One of the guys?”
“Yeah, you know, Luke, Jack, or Sawyer—my friends.” I went to the fridge to get him a beer. “Two of them are dating my friends already. So yeah, purely friends.”
“And the other one?” he asked as I closed the fridge, holding his beer in my hand to my chest.
“I’m not interested.”
Logan took the beer and placed it on the counter behind me, backing me up until the edge of the counter dug into my back. “And me?” he asked, his fingers gripped my hips tightly as he tugged me against him, his hard belt buckle pressed into my stomach, his legs straddling mine, and the warmth of his body surrounded me.
I licked my lips, his eyes tracking the movement, I whispered, “Very interested.”
“Good to know.” Something sparked in his eyes at my words, but then he ducked his head, dropping his hands from my hips and stepping back. “I have something I want to talk about.”
And just like that, the charged mood between us dissipated. Did he not feel the same way? My face hot, I followed him into my living room and sat next to him on the couch. I pulled off my stilettos and wiggled my toes from the pain of wearing them all night. I could barely meet his eyes unsure of what was so important it overrode that moment in the kitchen. I was ready to unbutton his shirt, push it off his shoulders and explore this attraction between us. I drew in a shaky breath. “What did you want to talk about?”
Logan sighed. “I think I should explain what happened tonight with my dad. You need to know.”
Relieved that what he needed to say had nothing to do with me, I said, “Okay.”
“We don’t have a great relationship. Even as a kid, I annoyed him. He criticized me for wasting my life away—not buckling down and being serious about school, my career. I blew him off, which probably made him angrier. I wanted his approval, but it was just a lot harder to achieve than my mom’s.”
“Your parents’ love should be unconditional.” I knew that’s how it was supposed to be even if I’d never experienced it for myself. I had been no better than his dad, criticizing him for who he was. The idea made me sick to my stomach.
“With my mom, it was. She said I was her most loving child—always saying I love you and hugging her.” He laughed and shook his head. “She said she’d try and discipline me but I would say I love you and she couldn’t do it.”
I smiled, picturing a little boy looking like Logan telling his mom “I love you” to get out of whatever punishment was about to be doled out. “So, you had your mom wrapped around your finger too?”
“I think I have a special place in her heart, not that she’s ever admitted to a favorite.” He glanced at me and shifted on the couch, so he faced me. “My dad had expectations that one of us would follow in his footsteps and take over the firm. My brother, Dominic, and I went to law school, but Dominic works in the city and doesn’t want to come back.”
“His expectations fell to you.” I could relate because my parents placed pressure on me to succeed, but Logan hadn’t succumbed to it like I did. There was animosity between him and his dad, but Logan worked at the state’s attorney’s office and now at Gunner. He was successful outside of his dad’s influence.
“It did, but that’s not why I don’t want to work for my dad anymore.” He shifted on the couch, not touching me, not looking at me.
“Anymore?” I asked a little confused he was telling me so much about his history.
“I interned at his firm during the summers in law school with the intention to work there after the bar. That’s when I saw him with his secretary.”
I drew in a sharp breath at his statement. “He had an affair?”
Eyes trained on the coffee table in front of him, he continued, “It was late. I assumed everyone had left the office. I was supposed to be at a ball game with my buddies but it was canceled because of rain. I came back to the office to grab a file and saw him in his office. They were kissing. I didn’t stick around to see anything else.” He paused, but I could tell he wasn’t finished.
“I always thought my parents had a good relationship. Yeah, my dad worked long hours but he made time to come to our sporting events and cheer us on. My mom’s role was to take care of us but she never resented it. I had no idea anything was wrong.”
I drew the parallel to my own mother, who did resent staying home with us. “Did you tell your mom?” I felt for the twenty-something man who had to either confront his parents or keep it inside.
“No, I couldn’t do that to her. I didn’t confront my dad, either. It wasn’t my place. Whatever was happening between them had nothing to do with me.”
Everything was clear—the animosity between him and his dad—his dad’s confusion as to why he wouldn’t work for him. “You’ve held this inside for years.”
He leaned forward, with his elbows resting on his knees, and dropped his head into his hands. “It’s a horrible position to be in. If I told her, I’d be the reason they broke up. It would have made it real. I wanted to pretend it never happened but every time I see him, I can’t stop picturing him kissing that woman. It makes me so angry.”
I rubbed his shoulder, the muscles tense underneath my fingers, my heart breaking for him.
“I didn’t want to be the one to destroy my mom. I can barely be in the same room as my dad. I’m just so angry.”
“I don’t blame you.” I couldn’t imagine what he’d gone through the last few years. To have this horrible secret and to hold it all inside.
“Maybe this is why I keep everyone at arm’s length.”
“No, Logan—”
“In high school, I learned quickly what girls responded to. It worked for me.” He was quiet for moment.
There was so much more to him than I thought that made him amazing. I wondered if I should I tell him or if it was too soon.
“I thought we had a connection the day we met,” he said quietly.
My eyes shot to his. I wasn’t mistaken that first day. “I thought so too, but then you invited me out, and you were with another woman. I thought—” Could I tell him? Lay everything out there and be vulnerable? “I thought you’d invited me out that night.” I waved him off when he tried to speak. “It was stupid. I don’t know why I thought that.”
“I did ask you out.”
My eyes flew up to his. “What?” That didn’t make any sense. “Then why were you with her?”
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Stacey worked in my office, she wanted everyone to go out that night, and when I said I had plans with someone, she must have known it was a date. She’d liked me for a while and I wasn’t firm with her. I never told her I wasn’t interested. She found out where we were meeting and invited everyone. She was all over me that night. I heard you came to the restaurant but left before I saw you.
I tried to talk to you several times afterward—”
He had approached me and I wouldn’t listen to him. I’d change the topic to work.
Shaking my head, I said, “I assumed you were with her. That I’d misunderstood your invitation. When we met it was only a few months after my ex had dumped me and I wanted to protect myself.”
“I’m going to be honest with you in a way I’ve never been with anyone else.” His eyes held mine and I saw nothing but sincerity. “When I saw my dad having an affair, I didn’t think I was even worthy of something real. If my parents couldn’t be faithful to one another, how could I?”
“You’re not your parents.”
“My buddies in law school used to say that I had it made. I could work for my dad. I didn’t need to stress about clerkships, interviews at the big firms, or the bar. I always had my dad to fall back on. I didn’t want to be seen that way. I wanted to be known and respected for what I accomplished on my own.”
“Is that why you worked at the state’s attorney’s office?”
“Yeah, my dad thought I was screwing around—biding my time until I worked for him. But I wanted to make it at a firm separate from his. I wanted him to get the message I would never work for him.”
Making it on his own was admirable. “Yeah, but your dad knows the partners at Gunner. People can still say you got the job because of your dad.”
He smiled sadly. “Isn’t that what you said?”
I felt horrible that I thought the same thing, but he didn’t show anyone this side to him. “I did, but I didn’t know you then.”
Softer, he said, “And you know me now?”
“I see there’s more to you.” I didn’t think it was possible, but he was even more attractive now. “You didn’t make it easy. You hid under this easy going, happy-go-lucky attitude.” I shifted closer to him on the couch, so if he turned his head, his mouth would be inches from mine. The fact that he’d asked me out the day we met spurred me on.
Then his mouth was on mine and his hand was cupping my head.
I leaned back and he followed me until he was on top of me, my dress bunched around my legs. I wanted this. I wanted him. I widened my legs as his hand made its way under my dress and up my inner thigh, the muscles quivering under his touch.
