Words and visions threatened her still. Choking whispers of remembrance and horror she dared not examine too closely, lest lids to secrets slammed tightly shut be somehow undone.
She began to shake, yet pressed it back. Pressed it away. She would not be haunted by words uttered unthinking from her own lips.
“Jess? Where are we going?” Malek took immediate note of the direction of Jess’s sprint.
“Of course. Where else?" Malek sighed as Jess immediately raced for the armory hall, hardly slowing her pace as she headed for their lockers, ignoring the wide-eyed looks of Squires, Aspirants, and everyday students alike, all in various stages of dress as they prepared for or cooled off from their daily training regimen, whatever it was. There was a reason why Jess kept a full suite of training armaments in quarters, feeling at times uncomfortable with so many men staring at her. Yet at other times, such as these, she could not be bothered with such trifles.
She almost thought she could hear mocking laughter behind her, even as her peers gazed silently at her. And what made it all the more terrible, she thought, even as she caught Malek’s concerned gaze, was that she recognized that voice.
It was her own.
Quickly unfastening the lock to her armaments with a key held in one shaking hand, it was only a matter of moments before the pair of them were fully kitted, their straps secure, training blades in hand, and out in the training grounds once more. And only then did Jess at last begin to breathe, no longer feeling like she was choking on nameless dread.
She heard the gentle voice of Neal emanating from behind, and promptly ignored him.
“How hard?” Was all her shieldbrother asked, and Jess felt a wave of grateful relief battling the terrible dread even now coursing through her. At least there was one man who would stand by her side.
“All out!” Jess cried, saluting a surprised Malek with her blade, and springing forth. “Fight me as if your life was in the balance!”
And fight they did. Jess reveled in the martial contest, the slight twinges she felt quickly fading as she pushed from warm up to all-out blitz, easing away the final remnants of the terrible beating she had suffered at Mord’s hands but days before.
For an endless moment in time Malek and Jess lost themselves in their contest, each trying to gain the upper hand, their rapid exchange of blows, parries, and counter-strikes steadily increasing in tempo until the courtyard itself rang with the steely song of their blades.
And those moments of fierce intensity were bliss for Jess. The terrible whisper of horror in the back of her mind silent at last. For the sake of that peace, free from the trickling dread that had pierced her since the moment her eyes had locked upon Erica’s haunted gaze, Jess was willing to endure the terrible pace she kept with Malek, her panting breath and burning muscles something to exhilarate in, a reminder that she was here, within the sweet bosom of the living realm, loath to surrender the moment to the horrors of long ago. Flashes of memory and terror she had no desire to claim.
Yet claim her they would. For her respite was brief. The pristine light of a gorgeous afternoon soon dimmed, the soothing rustle of leaves caressed by the gentle breeze replaced by hideous whispers carried upon foul winds, the innocent rustle of leaves sounding suddenly sinister, like the shrieks of fallen souls, haunting her, their cries lost within the inky blackness even then welling up from the shaking ground.
She struck out then with renewed fury, determined to beat away the nightmares that haunted her soul.
“Jess, I yield!”
“Calenbry! Stop this instant!”
Voices, from far away. She fought on.
A black whisper taunted her. Dared her to turn around, to gaze full upon the hideous specter even at that moment approaching her.
Turn around she did.
And she gasped
For the ghastly visage she gazed upon, separated only by a silvery film, filled her with unspeakable horror. Its lips were stretched in a manic rictus, blood dripping down bone white fangs. Its pale features lit up with brilliant streaks of lightning flashing endlessly from the terrible storm roaring behind it.
Jess shook, held captive by its dread gaze. Refusing to let her go. Crimson hair billowing like the burning ashes of a world in ruins, the awful creature's fiery eyes held a hideous knowledge, and Jess began to scream. For she realized then that the howling winds were, in fact, the shrieks and wails of a thousand thousand souls twisting in torment under hellish skies.
And the face mocking her with its awful smile was, in fact, her own.
“Jess!” A coldness that cut through the nightmare, leaving Jess shuddering as if lost in icy winds. The blackness receded for but a moment, her blinking eyes fastening upon Twilight’s own icy gaze. “Put down your blade, Jess. You are hurting your Hound.”
Dizzy and shaking, Jess looked down and gave vent to a helpless cry, seeing Malek, fallen to one knee, holding his blade half sword in a desperate attempt to block her hammering blows.
Jess dropped her blade in horror and clenched an off-balance Malek to her fiercely, both of them stumbling to the ground. “By the gods, Malek. I’m so sorry!”
Malek chuckled softly. “By the gods yourself, Jess. You fought like a demon possessed! And here you are, recently bedridden, and kicking my arse about the training field.”
Malek’s gaze then became one of grave concern, catching sight of Jessica’s horrified gaze.
“Jess?”
She heard his words yet felt so shaken, so dizzy, she could barely respond. The nightmare visions she fiercely fought to keep at bay, she could feel them pulling at her soul once more. Drowning her.
She shuddered, stumbling to her feet, seeking to flee, though she knew not where.
Strong arms wrapped about her, even as she heard the awed whispers of various students about the field.
“Did you see them fight?”
“Ungodly speed.”
“Never mess with a Delver. Fight like hellions, they do."'
“King himself fears the Guild."
“Don’t say that aloud, you idiot!”
Their whispers skittered past her, she did her best to shut them away, even as their gazes locked upon her, refusing to let her go.
Strong arms held her fast, even as Jess struggled against the desire to pick a direction and just run, as far and as fast as her legs would take her. And not look back. Not ever look back, lest that mocking, terrible laughter find her once more.
“It’s going to be all right,” her shieldbrother soothed. “I don’t know what’s wrong, Jess, but whatever it is, we’re going to get through it. We always do.”
Jess forced a trembling smile. “What say we just pick a direction and go. How about it, shieldbrother? Race for the horizon, and never look back. No responsibilities, no cares, no yesterdays, no tomorrows. We just live for the moment. And that moment alone.”
Malek chuckled softly. “You know I’d be more than willing, shieldsister, if I didn’t think it was terror compelling you, rather than an honest desire to leave all the politics and obligations of Court and family behind.” He clapped her shoulder affectionately. “Ask me again on the morrow if you are serious, Jess. I think you know what my answer will be then.”
“Nothing at all wrong with your plan, my mistress," purred the soft weight of her kitty, now resting comfortably upon her shoulder once more. "But Malek is right. You must put your own house in order before racing off to pursue new adventures."
Pivoting with supernatural grace, Twilight arched his body so as to be able to lock Jessica’s reluctant gaze with his own. “I think it’s time you went back to quarters, Jess. Let us rest and put these shadowy flickers of unwanted dream far from us, so that we may awaken refreshed and content, and then we may decide the best path down which to cast our fates.”
Jess shuddered at the thought of entering the confining walls of the college once more, but something about her familiar’s tone brooked no argument, even as Twilight’s gentle purrs s
oothed away the worst of the nameless horror that haunted her still.
Commander Eloquin himself caught her gaze as he approached Jess and Malek, his grim expression softening as he took in her own.
“Is all well, Jess, Malek?” Was all he said, though she dimly realized it had been his sharp command she had heard echoing through her head, timeless moments ago when they had been lost in their contest. Before the nightmare had swallowed her up, drowning her within a sea of terror even now she could not fathom. Dared not.
Jess felt Malek instinctively hold her close as her body was wracked with shudders once more. Held captive by her mentor’s piercing gaze she found herself breathless, unable to utter a word.
“All is well, master Eloquin,” assured Malek. “Jess and I had a bit of a friendly contest, is all. And now that we are spent, I am to escort her back to bed. She still has to recoup her stamina from injuries recently mended, I suspect.”
“Well fought, for someone who had been bedridden for three days," Eloquin noted dryly. "She had the best of you, at that. Very well then, Malek, look after your sister-in-arms. And when you are done, come see me. We must hammer out those flaws in your technique. For close to true your strikes may be, but if dreams and Delving are to be your trade, nothing less than perfection will do."
Malek grimaced. “Yes, master Eloquin. Just as soon as I put Jess to bed.”
“Sorry, Malek," Jess said some time later. "It's my fault Eloquin is going to go hard on you."
Malek chuckled softly. "No worries, sister mine. He's just concerned. You did sort of lose it, there, and you are obviously not up to any interrogations. He will drill me, hard, and grill me as well. If he can get a grasp as to what's going on and make me that much better a soldier? He kills two foes with one blow."
Jess nodded, her hand visibly shaking as she stroked the hardwood surface of her thick oaken door, the portal immediately springing open, Jess making her way within.
“Are you sure you are going to be all right, Jess?”
Jess forced a smile for her worried looking friend. “No worries, Malek. Go train with Eloquin. Give me a challenge next time!”
Malek chuckled softly. "Very well, sister of my heart. Rest deep and true. I will knock upon the morning bell, if you are not up sooner."
And with that, he was gone, almost as if he had never been, and Jess was left shivering, gazing upon quarters that looked strangely confining, alien, for all that she had known and loved these rooms for nigh on three years. “All right, Twilight. I am here, though the gods know I’d bolt for the woods if you weren’t so damn insistent. Whatever we are going to do, let’s do it.”
“So melodramatic, my dear Jess." Twilight lifted a bemused eyebrow even as he leaped to her chest as she rested upon quilted covers, his soft purring inviting her hand to gently stroke his soft fur.
Brilliant sapphire eyes captured and captivated her own. "You did a brave thing today, my Jess. Painting images within your friend's mind with your gentle words, giving her peace from a storm of memories ancient and terrible, and reminding her of the grace that she, like so many others, has been given." Jess felt herself slip into an odd state, neither waking nor sleeping, gently soothed by her familiar's comforting voice. At last her chest relaxed, deep easy breaths filling her with peace, the tight panic that had so plagued her finally slipping away.
“With all deeds there is a cost, my Jess. And I fear you have chosen to pay Erica’s, in her stead.” So hypnotic her familiar’s eyes were. Jess felt herself endlessly falling within their infinite depths, the very weight of her lids closing her eyes at last, comforted by the memory of those brilliant sapphire orbs blazing away like ancient stars within skies of endless darkness, knowing she would not be alone, even as she stood upon the threshold of oblivion.
“Now let us close doors best not left open, my mistress. Erica sleeps easy, your gentle words guiding her to sacred memories with which to resist the nightmares of the past that would burden her soul. And so you too should remember times of peace, and ease, dearest Jess. Children joined together in dance, song, and play, skipping merrily about their sacred woodland grove. Can you see them, Jess?”
And Jess realized she could, to her awe and wonder. She found herself in the simple country dress of a peasant child, racing across a vast field of brilliant wildflowers, blooming all the colors of the rainbow. The young Jess breathlessly called out to familiar faces in a language as old as time itself, greeted warmly be dozens of children all waving merrily to her.
Within moments she found herself in the warm embrace of beloved friends, telling tall tales of love and loss, glory and adventure, as she lost herself in play and memories of all the lives they had lived before.
9
Jess, wake up! Master Rens wants to see us!”
Jess groaned, forcing herself free of the soothing blackness of deepest sleep, greeted at once with a blinding headache as the afternoon light bit into her eyes. She groaned and rocked her head gently, slightly disoriented, wondering why she was wearing nothing but a gambeson stinking of sweat before flashes of her battle with Malek came back to her. He had been on one knee, looking up with haunted eyes locked upon her own startled visage, and she had pulled back in shock, literally falling over him in her distress. For the life of her, she couldn't remember more than that, or why she had felt so off-kilter to begin with.
“Twilight?” She looked over her pristine black cat, fine glossy fur faintly shimmering as he sunbathed in a warm shaft of light by the window, her familiar grooming himself in perfect contentment, barely registering her existence from what she could tell.
Her cheeks dimpled. “It is good to see you, Kitty.”
Twilight deigned to spare her a glance even as he carefully groomed his private parts. “There is a weight beneath your smile. Is something troubling you, my mistress?”
“Not really,” she sighed. “I just have the oddest feeling about the other day. Malek and I dueling so fiercely. I felt as if I were running from something, but I cannot for the life of me recall exactly what it was.”
Grooming finished at last, Twilight flashed her an amused grin even as he ended his sunbathing with a luxurious stretch before flowing up her side to his accustomed perch.
“Then I would worry about it no further. Best not to let ourselves be overly troubled by strange dreams. Hmm. I do believe our Hound is pounding rather insistently upon the door.”
Jess grimaced. “Yeah, I noticed that. Coming, Malek!”
“Jess, get up!”
Jess sighed and stumbled to the door, touching it gently to verify who was on the other side out of long habit, though she could feel his presence loud and clear even from her bed, so in tune she was with her shieldbrother now.
“My shieldsister, awake at last! Give me a hug, you silly thing. I was worried!” Malek’s dark gaze was tender, his worried smile quite unintentionally melting her heart. Malek held her close in a gentle hug. Jess was surprised, didn’t even realize she needed it, and cursed the treacherous tears suddenly leaking out of her eyes.
“Fate deals us cruel hands, sometimes.” She sniffled into his fine cashmere doublet and sighed.
Malek gave her a quick squeeze and let her go. "Quit being so damn melodramatic!" He grinned as he said it. "I swear you fought like a woman possessed yesterday, swinging your blade with such a panicked frenzy that if you were any less skilled, Eloquin would have castigated me for not taking you apart within seconds. As it was, no one could match you, save maybe Eloquin. You fought as if all the hosts of Hell were hot on your backside."
Jess grimaced. “Not the prettiest of descriptions, shieldbrother.”
Malek chuckled. “Don’t feel bad, Jess. I’m just glad to see you looking a dozen times calmer today. As it was, our impromptu sparring was a feat of triumph! Now everyone's all but forgotten how badly Mord had taken advantage of you in that twisted oathbound excuse for a fight, or the recently passed tournament, where we almost lost poor Erica to that bloody foo
l. No, Jess. What they are remembering instead is how the pair of us together stood unstoppable against all our fellow Squires on the field, days before the grand melee. And with the way you moved, how hard and fast you struck in our impromptu match yesterday, people gazed at us as if we were a couple of berserkers! Even the onlooking professors gave way when I was getting you back to quarters, half afraid we'd snap into some kind of frenzy, I suspect."
Malek shrugged. “Honestly, Jess, I think the notoriety is almost as good for our reputation as the glory we got from the Delving!” He grinned, gently stroking his shieldsister’s tangled hair. “Only three students gave me and Jacob dirty looks when we were together today. And all I had to do was stare at them and I swear, they all but wilted, turning tail and running like the petty little rats they are. No matter how much Jacob wanted to step back, pretend we weren’t what we are, I refused. And do you know what? Everyone else I talked to today was unfailingly polite, some downright complimentary.”
He gave a wry chuckle. "Trust me, Jess, notoriety has its uses. When people think you can unflinchingly break them, they tend to go out of their way to be polite, whatever their private thoughts. And I could care less what those thoughts are, as long as they keep them private."
Jess sighed, giving her friend a final squeeze, and letting go. She flashed Malek a weak smile and he nodded approvingly. “Thanks, Malek,” she sighed. “Hell with it, we are downright brilliant when we fight in concert, aren’t we?”
“I'll say. By the gods, Jess… I never felt so connected to my blade than when I danced with you against all our fellows that day. It's like I could feel every strike coming before my opponent even launched his attack. Displacing and counter-attacking was as common sense as breathing. It was… brilliant." Malek sighed in happy reminiscence. "I wonder if I'll ever have that again."
Jess grinned, blinking away the last of her tears. “Damn right you will, shieldbrother! We are a team, remember? And yes. I felt it too. Like we were two halves of a whole. I could feel what they were going to do even as they did it, and it’s like I could feel your half of the dance as well. Bringing down our opponents was not even a contest of skill so much as simple fate, all of us simply following the steps laid out for us since time began, our victory inevitable.”
Shadow Knight Page 20
