by Mia Kayla
His face fell at my words.
“I just want to be left alone, Kent,” I whispered, my heart breaking into a million pieces. I had to save myself, protect myself, because I couldn’t rely on anyone else to do it for me.
He staggered back and closed his eyes.
I stared at the man in front of me. He was the man who had hurt me, but he was also the same man who had been my best friend in a new city. And he was the man I’d fallen in love with, the man I was still very much in love with. With the fight all gone, I knew I didn’t want to leave the tension between us like this.
When I touched his shoulder, his eyes opened to meet mine.
“You’re a good man, Kent. You’re selfish and spoiled, but you also have a good heart. You need to let the world see that side of you that your family and I have always known.”
His eyes glossed over as I spoke. When he moved to reach for me, I stepped back. I knew I’d weaken if he touched me.
On the verge of losing it again, I walked past him. “Please…please, don’t follow me. Good-bye, Kent.”
Walking away, I stole one quick glance behind me. Kent was leaning against the brick wall, his head hanging in between his hands. He looked so defeated. My tears began to fall again as I continued to walk home.
Chapter 19
I cried myself to sleep that night and the few nights after that. Kendy would stay on the phone with me as I sobbed against the receiver.
“I’m sorry, honey. I hate hearing you cry,” she said.
I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to have someone with me, and if the best I could get was via phone, then so be it.
Many times, there would be silence over our long-distance call. And when my eyes were too heavy to keep open, we would drop the call together.
Funny thing was, if this were any other problem, I would have called Kent, and he would have been by my side the moment I hung up.
As tears continued to soak my pillow, I wondered if leave me alone meant fight harder even though I continue to push you away because I’m tired of getting hurt, especially by the people I cared for the most.
But the calls never came.
What was worse than breaking up with a boyfriend was breaking up with a best friend because boys could come and go but best friends were supposed to last forever.
News spread through the office. It was like reliving the past, and it brought me back to Bowlesville once again. The stares, the snickers, the hushed conversations that I was so familiar with occupied my workplace. There were even some dirty looks from women I hardly knew. I gritted my teeth, kept my face on my computer, and ate my lunches at my desk.
I will not cry in front of these people.
I will not.
I will not let them see me break down even though I am a mess on the inside.
Caroline didn’t help the situation. She would bring me coffee every single day and put her arm around me. “I’m here for you whenever you are ready to talk.”
Everyone would stare every single day, every single time she did it. I knew she wanted me to feel better, but I would have felt better if she just acted normal as if nothing had happened.
I didn’t want to know, but I found myself asking anyway during one of our breaks. “Caroline, what are people saying?”
She shrugged. “I don’t believe ninety percent of what I hear, and you shouldn’t either.” She placed her hand on top of mine.
“I’m okay, Caroline,” I said, trying to reassure her.
“I know you didn’t marry him for money,” she snapped.
My eyes widened. I already knew that was one of the things they were gossiping about. The funny thing was that it was the absolute truth. I had married him for money.
I didn’t deny it, but I told her my truth. “I loved him, Caroline.”
She pulled me into a hug, squeezing tightly. “Then, what happened? Can’t you work it out?”
I bit the inside of my cheek and willed myself not to cry. “I wasn’t enough.” I mirrored the same words Brian had said to me outside my apartment before he left for New York.
Now, I finally fully understood what he’d meant.
Renee, my boss, acted as she always had, which was exactly what I needed.
“What are you working on?” she asked, towering over my desk one day.
“Panchal Corporation. They are one of Jim’s prospects. I’m looking through the financials right now,” I said, glancing up at her.
“Good. I need another favor.”
“Sure. Anything, Renee.”
She looked at the papers in her hands. “Uh…I know you are going through some things, and I wanted you to know that if you need some time off, I understand.” She held up her hand as I tried to interrupt her. “You’re one of our best underwriters, and the quality of your work is exceptional. If you want to slow down for a little bit, you can. You do have vacation days.”
I didn’t want to see the sympathy in her eyes, but it was there.
“I’m dealing. Right now, work is the only thing keeping me going.”
She nodded once. “Yes, I understand. I’m the same way.” She straightened out her stance. “Well then, I’m going to get to another point. I’m building my team in California. You know we’re expanding out west.” She paused, gauging my reaction. “As I’ve mentioned before, I want you to come with me. Management wants me to have my team up and running before the end of the month. I’m moving in a couple of weeks. You’re a top notch employee, and I’d like you on my team.”
When I remained silent, she continued, “Financial State will pay all the relocation fees. If you have a lease, they will take care of that as well. Plus, there is a hefty sign-on bonus to entice internal employees to move. You don’t have to answer me now, but I’d like a response by the end of the week.”
Kent’s presence touched every bit of my life in Chicago. Being in my apartment flooded memories of us hanging out and watching reality TV together. Every time I stepped into a restaurant, I would think of him and our love of food. If I stayed in Chicago, I knew my heart would never heal. I’d always be broken.
It was a no-brainer. I needed a second chance at a new start.
“I’ll take it,” I said, sitting a little taller.
The next few weeks trudged slowly, and the only thing that kept me going was knowing that I had an end date to my old life and a start date to my new beginning.
One afternoon, I glanced up to see Jim lurking near my desk. As soon as we made eye contact, he walked over. “Uh…I was going to go without you today, but Mr. Plack has requested your presence at their corporate headquarters downtown.”
I glared at him, but he continued, “I know you’ve been through some things.” His usual confidence was not there as he glanced at his shoes. “I tried to insist that you were no longer on the account, but he pressed. They’re having their quarterly update today, and he’d like you to see where Plack Industries is heading, especially since you originally underwrote the loan for their restructure.”
This can’t be happening.“When are you going to grow some balls and for once tell your clients ‘No’?” I couldn’t bite back the disgust in my voice. I gave him my dirtiest look before charging toward the restroom.
He could have told them I was busy on another call. He could have told them I was sick. He and everyone in the whole dang office knew what had been going on. He could have lied, but if I’d learned one thing about Jim, it was that he would never tell his clients no, even if it was at my expense.
I shut myself in the restroom stall and wrapped my arms around my shoulders to hold myself together. I tried to steady my breathing as I fought my hardest to forbid the waterfall of tears to start.
I heard the restroom door swing open.
“Beth? Where are you? That stupid jerk. I told him off,” Caroline said.
I heard her open every stall. She finally found me in the handicap one as I leaned against the wall for support.
“What the hell was
he thinking? He’s such a people-pleaser when it comes to his clients. He could have told them no. Damn bastard,” she said, stomping her feet.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I said quietly, mostly talking to myself. I bit my cheek hard enough to taste blood, keeping my emotions at bay.
Don’t cry.
Don’t do it, not at work.
“You don’t have to go. I basically told him that you’re not going.” She stood in front of me and held my shoulders. “I told him no.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving anyway. I leave for California in a couple of days. Mom and Da—I mean, Mr. and Mrs. Plack have been nothing but nice to me. If Mr. Plack specifically asked for me to be there, then I’ll go.”
“Are you sure? Are you going to be okay?”
My eyes dropped to the ground, knowing full well I wouldn’t be okay. “The problem is, I didn’t only fall in love with Kent. I fell in love with his family, too. I’ll be okay. I’ll be gone soon anyway.” The tears threatened to spill over. “It’s just…I’ve tried everything to forget him. I’ve avoided every place we ever went to, everywhere that reminds me of him and now, I have to go see his family.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, pulling me to her side, “I’m so sorry.”
Her gentle, consoling touch broke me as the first of my tears betrayed me and began to spill over. “Caroline, my heart…hurts.” I dropped my face into my hands as my sobs shook my body. “It physically hurts, and all I wish for, all I want is for the hurt to stop. I just want it to stop.” I cried, feeling warm tears wet my palms. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for him. I’d forced myself not to fall, but then I did.” I sobbed harder, collapsing into her arms. “Because I’m stupid. I’m so dumb.”
I ugly-cried on her shoulder. She held me until my breathing steadied, my tear ducts dried out and finally, I had no more tears left to fall.
I didn’t look at Jim or speak to him as we drove to Plack Industries’ corporate headquarters in the city. I nodded at his comments as I stared blankly out the window and at the buildings in front of us.
Before we walked through the double glass doors into Plack Industries, I rubbed the back of my neck, bit the rest of my pinkie nail off, and took a deep breath.
I didn’t want to see Dad. Memories of everything I’d had with Kent and the family I’d felt so much a part of would come flooding back even though it had just been a temporary arrangement.
The receptionist led us through the hallway and into the boardroom.
“This should only take an hour, maybe two hours tops,” Jim said, taking a seat at the long chestnut table surrounded by black leather cushioned seats.
I rolled my eyes and didn’t care that he’d seen it. I would never have to work with him again. In two days, I would be on my way to California—away from him, away from Plack Industries, away from it all.
When the doors opened, we both stood. Two women in suits followed two men into the boardroom. Right behind them, Mr. Plack strolled in. He nodded toward Jim. When his eyes reached mine, his face lit up, followed by a warm smile.
“It’s good to see you, Beth.” Mr. Plack came over and pulled me into a bear hug, patting my back.
“Hi, Mr. Plack.” My ears warmed as I surveyed everyone in the room watching us, but Mr. Plack didn’t seem to care as he held me a little longer than comfortable in a professional setting.
“Mom and I—we’ve missed you,” he said, quietly backing away. He held me out at arm’s length and studied me. “You’ve lost weight. Have you been eating?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together in concern.
I nodded, feeling the warmth of my ears spread to my face as everyone stared at us. I’m sure they gossiped in this office, as they had done in mine. Most of the people in this room had most likely been to the wedding.
After a few seconds, he shook his head and turned around. “All right, we’ll get started in a few minutes.” Mr. Plack sat at the head of the table and flipped through his papers. “Jason, pass out the copies of those projections.”
I reached into my purse, pulled out my pen, and opened my portfolio to a blank page. One by one, people filed into the conference room, filling the seats around the table. I glanced up when I heard a high-pitched female laugh, and I almost fell out of my seat when I saw Kent walking in, followed by a tall brunette. He looked annoyed at first, but when he saw me, his eyes widened. He was surprised to see me, too.
“Beth…” he said, his eyes lighting up.
The chatter in the room slowed to a dull hush as he took me in.
I gave him a small wave and lowered my head, focusing on the papers in front of me.
“Okay, everyone, grab your seats. Let’s get started. I have an eleven o’clock meeting after this,” Mr. Plack said.
The seats around me were occupied, and I released a soft sigh of relief. I wouldn’t have been able to survive the whole meeting if Kent were right next to me. I didn’t hear a word anybody was saying. I didn’t even glance up from my papers. I could only feel his stare from across the room.
When the lights turned off and the third presenter walked up to the projector, I stole a glance. A small dimple emerged on his handsome face when my eyes caught his. I glanced away toward the numbers on the screen.
I didn’t know why he was here. He’d wanted nothing to do with the company. I was so confused. I wanted to hide. I wanted to run. Most of all, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because over a month later, it still hurt being in the same room with him. It hurt because I realized one thing. I missed him so much even though I didn’t want to.
The only thing that kept me in my seat was my hands gripping the sides of the leather chair. I bit the inside of my cheek and told myself to focus. Focus on the numbers. Focus on the screen. I had to focus on anything but the emotions running through me from just being in the same room with him.
When the lights flipped back on, I didn’t glance in his direction. I could feel his eyes on me, burning a hole through me. His stare warmed the whole side of my face. I lifted my head, forced to look at him when he walked to the front of the room.
“Hi, everyone. I’m Kent Plack, assistant to the head of logistics for the roll out of this expansion. In other words, I got the job that no one else wanted.”
The whole room chuckled, and even though I’d tried not to, the side of my mouth lifted slightly. His eyes warmed when he saw my smile, and he continued to talk about the renovations to the plants across the nation.
As he stood at the front of the room and pointed at the white board, I found myself drawn to him. He exuded confidence and wit. He knew what he was talking about, and my heart swelled with pride as he continued to speak. I’d always known he would be successful at anything he did. Watching him at the front of the room, taking charge and commanding the audience in this professional environment, I felt genuinely happy for him, happy for his family.
Although I couldn’t have him for myself, even though I couldn’t keep him, I knew I loved him wholly and fully because I wanted the best for him. I wanted him to succeed. And seeing the glint in Mr. Plack’s eyes as his son spoke of the future expansion, I knew this was where Kent belonged.
When he concluded his speech, the whole room clapped, and the first thing Kent did was look in my direction. He raised his eyebrow slightly with his silent question, asking me if he had done okay. I met his eyes and nodded while I clapped slowly along with the group. It was only then that both his dimples appeared.
When the meeting ended, Jim walked toward the CFO and started a conversation. I picked up my purse and put my pen and portfolio away. I felt his presence before I even heard him.
“Hi, Beth.”
I glanced up while gathering my papers from the table. “Hey,” I said shyly. I looked around as people started to disperse from the room.
“You look great.”
I continued to organize my papers. “You did amazing up there,” I said, trying to change the mood.
I tried to block out the
proximity of his presence, but I couldn’t. He smelled of newly laundered sheets with a mix of his expensive cologne that exuded masculinity. It saddened me because at one time, just the scent of him had meant he was close, and it had been what calmed me when I needed it the most.
The brunette from earlier popped up in front of him. “Kent, want to do lunch today?”
“Sorry, not today,” he replied, his eyes never straying away from me.
“Okay. Maybe tomorrow then?”
I felt a pang of instant jealousy as I took in her petite figure. He’s not yours to be jealous over, I reminded myself.
“No, I don’t know. Not now, okay?” He didn’t try to hide the annoyance in his voice as he shooed her away.
She gave me a once-over before strutting out the door.
“How have you been?” he asked, a dimple showing on his handsome face.
“Good.” Creating some sort of barrier between us, I held my portfolio tighter to my chest. I looked toward the gray carpet because staring at him made my heart hurt again.
He moved into my line of sight. “Do you…do you want to do lunch or something? I can drive you back to the office.”
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I found this new steak place, and I thought of you.”
I shook my head, and his face fell.
“Every time I try a new restaurant, I think, ‘Beth would like this place,’ and then I wish you were right there with me,” he said quietly.
I glanced around us. Everyone had already left the conference room. We were the only two people left in the empty boardroom. I stepped back and composed myself before the sadness in his eyes filtered into mine.
“Kent, I’m so happy you’re working with your father. It seems like things are looking up for you. I always knew you could do it.”
He reached for my wrist, and I weakened at his touch.
