“No, it’s my job. I want to nail those bastards. Plus,” he nodded to where the girls stood by the door waiting for Maddy, “I want to nail the fucker who sold those two like they were a couple of dogs.”
“She likes popcorn.” Angelica giggled as Sophie leapt for the popcorn being tossed for her. “I didn’t know dogs like popcorn.”
“She probably likes all that butter and salt you dumped on the popcorn.”
“There’s no point to popcorn without butter and salt,” Jasmine claimed.
“True.”
“Is it time for my mom to be here?”
“She’ll be here when she’s gets here, Angie.”
Where Angelica was full of anticipation of their mother’s arrival, Jasmine’s attitude was more reserved. Maddy guessed their mom was going to have some explaining to do about the circumstances of the girls’ abduction before Jasmine truly trusted her again. No doubt the police would want that explanation as well.
The girls settled on the couch to watch a DVD, Angelica having picked out the Marvel movie Thor. Sophie lay on her bed with a yawn and seemed pleased to be back with Maddy. And god bless Dory and Emma. Her friends had cleaned the cabin from top to bottom, putting everything back in order, and even stocked her refrigerator and cupboards. The girls had spent the previous night with Maddy, sleeping double in her bed while she slept on the couch. That morning they’d helped her make buttermilk pancakes with sliced bananas, and Maddy had been gratified to see the girls talking excitedly about returning home, returning to school, returning to their lives.
While they were engrossed in the film, Maddy let her mind wander. Logan had been on his way south by the time Trish had brought Maddy and the girls to the cabin. The news from Brad that morning was that Lazlo Horvath had gone into surgery for the knife wound. Maddy didn’t know how to feel about the fact that he wouldn’t suffer any permanent effects from the injury, but maybe every time he saw that scar he would remember who gave it to him.
Regardless, he was under arrest and as soon as he was released from the hospital, would face stiff charges that were guaranteed to keep him in prison for the rest of his life. The best news had been that the girls Horvath had been delivering to a stash house in Reno the night he’d kidnapped Maddy had been found unharmed.
Despite the noise from the movie, she must have drifted off because the next thing she knew, Angelica was running for the door.
“Mom’s here!”
Maddy turned off the TV while Jasmine moved more slowly to follow her sister. Before the Hangman’s Loss PD vehicle was even at a full stop, the passenger door opened. A thin, dark-haired woman leapt out of the vehicle. She ran to Angelica, catching her in a fierce hug, clutching her daughter close. Tears damp on her cheeks, she released one daughter to turn to the other.
“Come here, mija.”
“Did you know, Mama? Did you know what José was doing?”
Not waiting for Jasmine to make the first move, the older woman reached for her daughter, cupping her face in her hands. “No, Jasmine,” she said her name with the Spanish pronunciation. “I called the police as soon as I realized what had happened. José is in jail, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he stays there, that he pays for what he did to my daughters.” Her sincerity was unmistakable, and she pulled Jasmine into an embrace. Jasmine had been holding in her emotions, but now she broke down in tears as her mother stroked her hair. Angelica joined them, crying along with her mother and sister.
Brad climbed the porch steps to sling an arm around his sister’s shoulders as Maddy wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She couldn’t have wished for a better outcome for Jasmine and Angelica.
Chapter Nineteen
“You should go home,” Dory said.
Maddy spoke from the depths of the display case, where she was wielding the scrub brush with a vengeance. “Why? We’re closed, and I can’t clean when I have customers, so this is a good time to clean.”
“You look like hell.”
“Spoken like a true friend,” Maddy muttered. Because it was Christmas Eve, she’d flipped the closed sign at one o’clock, and wouldn’t turn it to open until January third. Usually, this was a week where she enjoyed being free of the responsibilities of her business. She could sleep in, catch up on her reading, only cook if she felt like it.
But this year she had created a cleaning schedule, and today she was getting a jump on it. Since there was no way her family would let her work on Christmas, she’d have to wait until the day after the holiday to attack the big refrigerator. Every piece of machinery, the dishwasher, the big mixer, the coffee urns, would be cleaned inside and out. Then she’d take on the storeroom. Yep, the storeroom was on the list to have every shelf, bin, and cabinet ruthlessly scrubbed and reorganized.
Maddy looked up when Dory tapped on the window of the display case. “Maddy, would you get out of that case and talk to me?”
“I don’t have time to talk.” But she backed her head and shoulders out of the case.
“You need an intervention.”
She used her arm to push the hair off her forehead because her hands were encased in gloves. She didn’t need an intervention. What she needed was a break from people, people who were smothering her with their concern. Killing her with kindness. Who didn’t seem to realize that her way of dealing with everything that had happened was to keep busy. Because if she stopped working her brain would start thinking again. And she didn’t want to think.
She’d held it together until Jasmine and Angelica had left with their mother, with many promises to keep in touch. Once they were gone, the thoughts she hadn’t allowed herself to think started creeping around the edges of her brain. Keeping those thoughts at bay had become her number one priority.
Dory frowned, and when she spoke her voice held all the concern of a worried friend. “How bad is it?”
Maddy tossed the gloves on the counter and gave up. There was no deflecting Dory when she was on a mission. “I’ve tried, but I can’t stop thinking about what Lazlo could have done to me, or to those girls. What he did do to so many others.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Dory circled the case to enfold her friend in her arms. “Why don’t you come home with me? Adrian would love to see you, and you’d help distract him from the fact that tomorrow is Christmas. Plus, we could exchange our gifts.”
“Dory, you’re the best friend in the world. But I’m not good company right now.”
“Who says you have to be good company? Just come. You don’t have to stay late if you don’t want to. I’ve made my mom’s pozole recipe so I won’t even ask you to cook. Come and relax and save me from a wound-up seven-year-old.”
Maddy heaved a big sigh, her shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry. I know everyone is worried about me. Brad’s been in here twice, Emma came in first thing this morning and stayed for almost an hour, and my mom called me at least three times.”
“Have you heard from Logan?”
“No, which makes people more concerned that he dumped me.”
“Has he?”
“Honestly? I’m not sure where we stand. He claims we’re together, but we’re not, not really.” She shrugged. “He’s got his work, and I’ve got mine.”
“Sometimes I’d like to shake some sense into that man,” Dory exclaimed. “Maddy, come over. You need a chance to just be.”
God, she hated people worrying about her. After she’d buried Lily that was exactly the reason she’d chosen to return to Los Angeles to attend college. There was no way to fight against the solid blanket of love that her family had wrapped her in, but that had sometimes felt smothering.
“Okay, I’ll come.”
The flood of relief on Dory’s face told Maddy how much her friend had been worrying.
Hours later, sitting in Dory’s small living room, Maddy acknowledged that spending the evening with Dory and Adrian had been the right decision. Bringing Sophie had been inspired, because Adrian was delighted with the dog and was curren
tly reading her a Christmas story. The front window framed a Christmas tree decorated with strings of lights and homemade ornaments, and warmth glowed from the fireplace. Celebrating the Christmas season with a child was special, and Maddy refused to dwell on the Christmases she’d missed with Lily.
She crossed to the kitchen to set her tea mug on the kitchen counter. “I need to go home.”
“You know you could spend the night,” Dory offered, moving around Adrian, who was sprawled on the floor, sound asleep.
Maddy stepped into Dory’s hug, then draped her scarf around her neck. “Nope, I’m going home to sleep in my own bed. Thank you for this evening, my sweet friend.”
Driving home through the darkness, Maddy held on to the hard-won feeling of peace.
Logan sat in his truck in the driveway in front of Maddy’s cabin. He leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed, exhaustion making his bones ache. The last forty-eight hours were a blur. Despite having to chase them to Mexico, and hadn’t that been fun, he and Declan Murphy had succeeded in destroying the rest of the Horvath criminal organization. Logan felt good about that. Then he’d flown to DC, spent half a day there, then boarded a plane back to Reno. He hated flying enough that he hadn’t been able to sleep on the plane either way. A sane man would have gotten a hotel and caught a couple hours of shut-eye before getting on the highway south, but sanity seemed to have slipped away sometime in the last week. Getting into town with enough daylight left to visit a couple of shops, he’d then taken a drive to do something he should have done a long time ago.
Now he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, staring at the cabin. The only light came from the outside fixture by the side door. He thought for sure she’d be home. Who would Maddy be spending Christmas Eve with? Not Brad and Emma. Not with her mom. A call to Brad had verified that. The vet? Maybe the guy had lured her to his place with a bottle of wine. He probably had a litter of kittens handy. He’d invite her over as a friend, say he wanted to show her a litter of kittens he was caring for. Logan didn’t know of a woman who could resist kittens. Vets were probably sneaky that way. The asshole would happen to have a bottle of wine breathing, and candles lit in strategic places, all part of a plan to seduce her. While Logan sat freezing his ass off outside her empty house like a pathetic bastard.
Headlights spearing through the darkness kept his mind from going farther down that dark road. He got out of the truck and stood, hands in his pockets. The CRV pulled into the carport and Maddy got out. Seconds stretched as she stood beside her vehicle staring at him, before moving to open the back. Sophie didn’t have any trouble greeting him. Logan gave the dog a long rub down her body, then straightened. Without saying a word, Maddy opened the side door of her cabin. He followed her and the dog inside.
The kitchen lights blazed harshly after the darkness outside. Maddy shed her coat, unwound the scarf around her neck, then stood watching him. The bruise from Horvath’s blow still showed faintly green high on her cheekbone, a reminder of the danger she had been in.
“I’m glad you came back, I wasn’t excited about spending the night in my truck.”
“You could have gone to your house, you know.”
“Yeah, but if I’d left here I’d have driven by the vet’s house, and that wouldn’t have ended well.”
“Jason’s house? Why? And do you even know where he lives?”
“I would have found out. Where were you, by the way?”
“At Dory’s. Did you really think I was at Jason’s?”
“I thought he could have seduced you with kittens and wine.”
“What are you even talking about?” She folded her arms under her breasts. “Never mind,” she said when he opened his mouth to reply, which was probably a good thing. “Why are you here, Logan?”
“To see you.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d be back.”
“I told you I would be.”
“I still wasn’t sure. You were, are,” she corrected herself, “angry with me.”
“More than angry at you, I was angry with myself. What happened to you was my fault. I let the fucker Horvath get his hands on you.” He’d sworn he’d keep his anger caged in but could feel it rattling at the locks.
“You have some right to be angry with me, because I came to the cabin when you told me not to. Turns out I should have listened.”
He couldn’t get a read on her. And he could always read Maddy. But at the moment she was doing a better job of blocking her emotions than he was.
“Why didn’t you listen? What was so important that couldn’t wait until Brad or I could come with you?”
“Nutella.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I wanted to make some desserts with Nutella, and I’d run out at the café. I’m human, and I made a mistake.”
“A mistake that could have cost you your life.”
“True. But maybe you need to forgive me for that, and forgive yourself for something that wasn’t in your control to begin with. While you’re doing that, you can add this to the mix. I’m glad I came, and I’m glad Lazlo Horvath captured me. Because if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been there to help Jasmine and Angelica. That those girls are safe and unhurt means more to me than anything else.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Jesus, Maddy.”
When he looked up again, she hadn’t moved, her arms still folded in front of her like a shield. Fuck this, he thought. In three long strides he crossed the space between them. He slid his hands into her hair as he cupped her face. He knew he had her when, instead of punching him, her chin wobbled and a tear escaped from the corner of her eye.
“Don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you hurting.” He laid his lips on hers. The tension knotted inside him eased when she loosened her arms to wrap around him. He let himself slide into the kiss, her mouth soft under his, finally letting his mind accept that she was home and safe. He broke the kiss to lean his forehead against hers. “I’m not mad at you. I’m incredibly grateful you survived as well as you did.” He paused, using his thumbs to tilt her face up to his. “I love you, Maddy.”
She stiffened in his arms. “No, Logan.”
“You know that I do. You love me, too.”
“I loved you once and you broke my heart. I can’t do that again.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I want to marry you.”
She jerked back, eyes wide with shock. “Are you serious?”
“I want to marry you, Maddy. I want us to have a family, to be a family.”
“No, no, no. I can’t go through that again. You could get hurt or killed doing your FBI special agent stuff. It’s a dangerous job. And if we had another child, there’s an increased chance that it could have the same heart defect Lily had.”
“Only if the cause of Lily’s was hereditary, and even then, the likelihood is low.” At her surprised look, he said, “I’ve been reading as much as I can find about Lily’s diagnosis on the Internet. And I’m not with the FBI anymore.”
“Wait, what? My head is going to explode.” Maddy fisted her fingers in her hair like she wanted to pull it out. “What do you mean you’re not with the FBI anymore?”
“I quit.”
“You quit? Why?”
“Because your life is here in Hangman’s Loss. Your business is here, your family and friends are here. I couldn’t ask you to marry me if I wasn’t willing to make changes in my life so you would be happy.”
“But I can’t say yes. I can’t agree to marry you.”
“I haven’t asked you.”
“But you said—”
“I said I wanted to marry you. It was a statement of intent. When I ask you to marry me, you’ll say yes.”
“I can’t keep up. You confuse me, Logan.”
“How about instead of confusing you, you let me take you to bed. I think we both could use a good night’s sleep.” At her dazed expression, he took her hand, glancing at the clock on the microwave as he led her to the stairs.
“Merry Christmas, by the way.”
Maddy woke up to the muffled quiet that told her snow had fallen overnight. She turned under the heavy weight of Logan’s arm across her waist. He lay on his pillow facing her. Long lashes fanned his cheeks, and dark stubble covered his chin. When he’d come with her to bed last night, she had expected that they’d make love. It was the one thing they were good at together. But when they’d crawled into bed, he’d pulled her into his arms and, with her head on his shoulder, had held her until they’d both drifted to sleep.
The desire to touch him, to trace a finger across his eyebrows and down his nose, had her fisting her hand. He’d been as exhausted as she, and sleeping a little longer would do him good. She hadn’t been lying when she’d said he confused her. Logan wanted to marry her, to have a family. Even now the thought sent a shard of fear lancing through her soul. How could she survive if she allowed herself to love Logan again and something happened to him? How could she survive if she had another sick baby? He didn’t understand because he hadn’t been there when Lily was born and her lips were blue. Or when Maddy had to let Lily go so the nurse could take her away to prep her for surgery when she was only days old.
“You’re thinking about Lily.”
She lifted her gaze to find that his eyes were open. He used a long finger to rub between her eyebrows where she wore her worry lines.
“I was.”
“I went to the cemetery yesterday and put flowers on her grave.”
Her breath caught even as her heart stumbled. How could she withstand him if he did things like that? “She loved flowers. Mom and I filled our apartment with flowers so even when she was too sick to go out, she could still see them.”
“I put some on my mom and dad’s headstone, too. Figure if I’m going to do penance, I might as well do it all at once.”
“Why penance?”
He rolled onto his back, a hand on hers bringing her with him. “To Lily, for not being there for her when she needed her father. For my mom, for not visiting her grave before. And for my dad for being so angry with him. Felt like I had a lot to atone for.” He moved his hand under the pajama top she had slept in, rubbing with long strokes along her skin.
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