“Ah, Princess Katerina,” the professor greeted her warmly. He was sitting behind his small, cramped desk with a pile of printed and stapled papers in front of him. They must’ve been the essays. The essays that everyone else had probably turned in on time.
What he’d said in class echoed in her head: “At least one person a semester learns this the hard way . . .”
“Professor Bissenhof,” Katy began. “I . . .”
She trailed off, unsure what to say. But Bissenhof looked down at the paper in her hand and then back up at her. He knew. He definitely knew.
“I see you’re holding your first paper, is that correct?” Bissenhof asked, his expression blank and his voice flat, as he looked down over the rims of his bifocals.
Katy nodded.
“And I’m assuming that if I went and looked at your submission in the online portal,” Bissenhof went on, “I’d find it blank.”
Katy nodded again, willing her heart to stop beating so thunderously. Bissenhof could probably hear it.
“I see,” Bissenhof said. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his belly, still looking at Katy.
She knew what he was about to say. “I’m sorry, Katerina. No exceptions.” Or maybe, “There’s still a chance you can pass, but it’ll be very difficult.” Or possibly, “I certainly didn’t expect that the one student this semester would be you.” She felt embarrassed and afraid, standing in front of him, holding her essay so tightly that the pages were crumpled and creased. She didn’t deserve a second chance if no one else in the class got one. She didn’t want to be treated any differently. Still, she really hoped Professor Bissenhof would show leniency. Just this once. Not because Katy was a princess, but because she did well in his class and obviously wanted to master the material.
Please take this paper.
Bissenhof sighed. “Luckily for you, I’ll accept your paper.”
Katy breathed out a loud sigh of relief. She could’ve cried with gratitude. “Oh, Professor, thank you so much. I won’t miss another deadline ever again. I promise you.”
Bissenhof smiled and nodded. “Yes, please do be mindful of deadlines. Can’t have the rest of the class knowing about our little arrangement.”
“Yes, sir. Of course. I . . .” Katy stopped, thinking further about what Bissenhof had just said. “Arrangement?” It seemed like an oddly formal term to use for one deadline extension.
Bissenhof removed his glasses. “Well, yes. The help I’ve been giving you on your assignments, Katy.”
Katy felt her heart drop into her stomach. Help? What kind of help?
“Now, I would never do that normally. And I could get into a lot of trouble for it. But, well, I would like to retire soon, and I was hoping to make Lorria my permanent home. I thought perhaps you could help me with the citizenship papers. So, I have been helping you. Quid pro quo, Princess.”
Katy couldn’t answer for a second. Another chill, deeper than the one she’d felt upon realizing she’d missed the deadline, was stealing across her body.
So that was why she’d been excelling in his class. Not because she was particularly intelligent or insightful. Her quizzes hadn’t been perfect after all. It was all because Bissenhof had needed a favor. He was just handing her an A. Had he even looked at her answers? Was he even going to read this paper?
Katy stood still, feeling her world crumble around her. How many of her professors over the next two and a half years would grade her unfairly, just so they could ask favors of her? Did everyone know about this? Did the other students and professors know that she was a fraud?
“Well, go on,” Bissenhof finished. “Put it on the pile. I’ll see you in class shortly.”
Katy had a mind to rip the essay into pieces and throw it into the air. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway. She wasn’t going to be graded for it.
But right now, she just didn’t have another confrontation in her. Instead, she simply dropped the paper on his desk and then turned around and walked out of his office, never saying a word.
She walked back to her shared house slowly. She still had another hour until she needed to report back to Comparative Lit for class. She could brush her teeth and shower and get changed.
Or you could call Mama and Papa and tell them that they were right all along. Princesses don’t belong in higher education. Send a jet. I’m coming home.
Katy felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Maybe she was being dramatic, but right now, she felt like an imposter. Like Harvard was a fruitless endeavor. She’d lost drama club, and now she was losing her favorite class.
How long until she lost Harvard altogether?
14
David
David didn’t sleep well. Without Katy there to steady his nerves and offer reassurances, he couldn’t stop his mind from racing. He knew so much more about his father now than he ever thought he would.
But it was causing some unexpected anxiety.
Earlier in the night, when he’d realized that studying would be a fruitless endeavor, he had lain back in his bed and tried to sleep. Instead of blissful release, though, he was plagued with negative thoughts about what was actually in store for him in Bahia.
David had always assumed that he was a bastard, a concept that didn’t really bother him. It was just the way things were. Or so he’d thought. But Jeanine had been married to Marcos, his father. Perhaps he had been conceived in wedlock; maybe they’d chosen to marry when they discovered that David was on the way.
Either way, it seemed that there was a chance—more than a small chance—that they might have loved each other. The very thought warmed him inside, but it also brought up more questions, just hitting home how little he knew about his birth.
If his mother and father had really been in love, why had Jeanine come back to the States and disappeared, like she was running from someone? Had things with Marcos gone south? Had it been someone else she was trying to avoid?
And why hadn’t they kept David?
It wasn’t that he was ungrateful or unhappy with his upbringing. If Jeanine and Marcos hadn’t given him up for adoption, he never would’ve met his adoptive parents and had almost twenty good years with them. But he still wanted to know why they had given him up.
David squeezed his eyes shut, willing the thoughts to disappear.
When he woke up the next morning, he immediately knew that his lack of sleep was going to make for a rough day of classes.
He texted Katy his usual good morning and then dragged himself into the shower. But when he got out, he was surprised to see that she hadn’t responded.
By a quarter till ten, David was convinced that he wouldn’t be hearing from Katy until after classes. He knew that she had Comparative Lit shortly, and then his first class would begin as well. It didn’t seem likely that he’d be able to talk to her until after classes, which bothered him more than he’d like to admit. But as he laid back on his bed, wondering if he should call or if it would just be bothering her, a gentle voice rang out from his doorway.
“Hey.”
David’s head spun toward the door. Katy was standing there, her hair in a wide, messy braid, her eyes red with recent tears. David stood.
“Katy,” he said, his stomach swooping in sympathy and surprise. He walked over to her, desperate to comfort her. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
Katy shook her head. “Bissenhof.”
David narrowed his eyes. “Bissenhof? Your Comparative Lit professor?” What could he have possibly done to make Katy cry? “Your paper? Did you not do well?” That didn’t seem likely either. Katy was a model student.
Katy shook her head again, sniffling. “No, I did great.” The positive-sounding statement was at odds with the utter, dejected misery in her voice. “Even though I forgot to turn in the paper. I completely forgot! But it didn’t matter to him! I always do great in his class, even when I don’t know the answers. And he made sure to tell me why that was today, while he was not-so-su
btly hinting about his quest for Lorrellian citizenship.”
David’s eyes widened, the realization dawning on him. Bissenhof was letting Katy skate by so he could get something out of her. “Katy, you have to go to the administration with this.”
How dare that pompous asshole treat Katy like she was worthy of anything less than an A when she tried her hardest? Katy could’ve passed without Bissenhof’s help; David was sure of that. But now he’d probably gone and made her feel like an idiot in need of manufactured grades.
The bastard.
“I don’t want to tell anyone, David,” Katy replied dejectedly. “I’m embarrassed.” Another fat tear escaped her eye and rolled down her pink cheek. David gently wiped it away, as if removing all traces of its existence would remove the sadness and frustration it had stemmed from, too.
“That’s okay, too,” David replied, changing course. “But you still don’t have to face him if you don’t want to. You could always drop the class.”
Katy scoffed softly. “What if people find out why?”
“Who else knows?” David asked. “Because if you don’t tell and I don’t tell, no one will. Bissenhof definitely won’t, unless he wants to lose his job.”
David squeezed Katy’s hand and walked her over to his bed to take a seat. When she was sitting, he plopped down beside her.
“Maybe he’s right, David,” she began, her voice hushed, hesitant. “Maybe I’m not a good fit for Harvard after all.”
“Katy, no.” David surprised even himself with the sudden severity of his voice. “Don’t think that. Don’t let one asshole throw you off your whole plan. You got into Harvard for your brain, Katy. Not your last name. Not your money. You deserve to be here, just like the rest of us.”
“But what if it has all just been handed to me, David?” Katy countered. “What if this is just the first time that I found out about it? What if they’re all like this? I don’t have any proof.”
“Have you learned anything while you’ve been here, Katy?”
Katy looked at David in confusion, as if she didn’t understand the question. “Well, yeah. Of course. But . . .”
David interrupted her protest. “If you’ve learned anything, then it’s a sign that you earned something. People can’t just hand knowledge to you. You have to earn it.”
Katy didn’t immediately respond, her eyes peering up at his face, then looking far away, over his shoulder, probably turned to some inner turmoil. David leaned forward and kissed her forehead. In the silence, he spoke again.
“And you can make your own proof. You can show up every day and prove to him that you don’t need his help, because you’re smart enough to do it on your own.”
“No way I’m going to his class today,” Katy replied quickly. “I could barely even look at him in his office.”
David nodded, his brain whirring. “That’s understandable. Well, if you want to, you can stay here with me. I don’t have class until eleven.”
Katy smiled wearily, her cheeks still trembling a little. “Are you sure? I probably won’t be very good company.”
“There’s no better company in the world,” David replied. And he meant it. Even miserable, tearstained, heartsick Katy was better than no Katy at all; knowing he could comfort her, that he had her love and confidence, still felt like an amazing gift that he would never deserve.
“Thank you, David.” Katy’s voice was soft but intense. “I’m so glad you’re here. Otherwise I probably would’ve already had my bags packed.”
“Well, thank you for that. But what about Cassie?” David asked. He was touched by Katy’s confession, but her oldest friend and cousin was also here for her. Wouldn’t she be reason enough to stay?
“I think Cassie would be thrilled if I told her I wanted to leave,” Katy replied softly, thoughtfully. Her answer surprised David. Katy, probably noticing his expression, clarified. “She’s been nothing but supportive since we got here, but after all, she only came so I wouldn’t be alone. All I’m saying is I don’t think studying at Harvard means as much to her. It was my dream, not hers.”
David nodded. “Well, then I’m glad I’m here, too.”
“Do you ever want to leave?” Katy asked, facing David softly and inquisitively.
David paused. It was a loaded question. Hadn’t he wanted to leave just last night? “Well, yeah. Anytime a professor asks the class to go around in a circle and introduce ourselves,” he replied with a wink.
“No, really,” Katy pressed. “Are there ever times that you just want to . . . throw in the towel?”
David thought about her question. “Sometimes. When I think about my family. If I received a letter from my mother tomorrow asking me to come live with her in San Diego or South Africa or Pluto, wherever it is that she’s hiding, then yeah. It’d be hard not to pack up and go. Except, you’re here.”
Right now, sitting with Katy, their hands clasped together, talking about their deepest fears, David didn’t feel the same deep urge to find his family. Of course he wanted to find them, but he no longer felt like he had to find them to feel complete. Katy made him feel complete. He blushed at the realization.
“Then I’m happy that I’m here for you, too,” Katy said. She leaned her head against David’s shoulder, and David’s senses lit up at her touch. “Thanks for making me feel like I still belong,” she went on. She continued in a quieter voice, “You know, this is the first time that I’ve ever felt that way.”
“Ever?” David asked. He knew Katy didn’t quite feel like a princess sometimes, but did she truly always feel adrift, even when she was home in Lorria?
“Ever,” she confirmed. “In Lorria I’m just an asset. I don’t even control my own body. But when I’m here with you, I feel like myself. The self I want to be.”
David inhaled. It was one of the nicest things that anyone had ever said to him.
And it had come from his favorite person in the world.
“I love the person that you are when you’re with me,” David told her, leaning in closer. “So I’m glad that you do, too.”
“I just wish we could stay like this all day,” Katy went on.
Now there’s a thought. Zeke would be in class all day. And he had already told David that he was taking Nur to the movies afterward, then staying over at her house. David had the room to himself.
All day. And all night.
“Maybe we could,” David replied. “Take a little break today from classes. Just be alone.”
Katy looked at David in playful disbelief. “Didn’t you just help me come to the realization that Harvard comes first, and this opportunity shouldn’t be squandered?”
David grinned. “Harvard comes second. To you, that is.”
“So,” Katy mused, “if we skip class and stay in all day . . . what exactly will we be doing instead?”
“Whatever you want, Princess. I aim to please.”
“Prove it,” Katy replied, the sultry roll of her voice making it obvious that she wasn’t just talking about snacks.
A wave of arousal crashed over him at her forwardness. I plan to.
The afternoon floated by languidly, as Katy and David swam in each other’s presence. Hours drifted by, and they felt like mere minutes. They ordered takeout for lunch and giggled as they fed each other pieces of gnocchi. David couldn’t remember a time in his life recently when he’d been able to relax so completely.
Well, relax wasn’t the best word. He was completely wrapped up in Katy, unable to keep his hands off of her no matter what they were doing. It wasn’t their first time being alone together, free from constraint, able to explore one another to their heart’s content. But the atmosphere was more charged than it had ever been.
And at some point, when they’d finished lunch and were lounging on his bed again, their hands sneaking urgently over one another’s bodies—when Katy rolled over on top of David and straddled him, her slender legs riding his hips, just a few threads of fabric separating her flesh from his
own, David almost couldn’t contain his excitement.
Still, he had to remember that he could only go so far. He had to go at her pace. As much as you want to go further, she’s in control here. Just enjoy the moment. So he let her lead.
And then Katy peeled away her top.
David felt his mouth drop open just a breath; he watched, his heartbeat racing. It was the most he had seen of Katy so far. Her soft, pale skin was perfect beneath her shirt. His eyes traced over her form slowly, from her navel to her breasts, separated from David by only the delicate, lacy fabric of her bra.
Katy looked down at David intently, watching his eyes explore her.
“Katy,” David said. “You don’t have to go any further than you want to. Are you sure . . .” He swallowed, fighting the tide of arousal that the sight brought out in him, wanting to know for certain that she felt comfortable and safe. “Are you sure it’s not too fast?”
“No,” Katy admitted, and his heart caught in his throat. But then she continued, and he felt invigorated by the confidence, the clarity, the trust underneath her words. “But I want to feel . . . closer to you. I want to see you and feel you. All of you. I want this. I want you.”
David took a shaky breath. He was out of practice and nervous. But he was ready to go as far as Katy wanted to take him.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you,” Katy replied, before her hungry mouth closed over his again. “So, so much.”
15
Katy
The air on Katy’s exposed flesh exhilarated her, sending goosebumps down her spine.
After three long years, this was the farthest she had ever gotten with Al. Despite his constant pushing for more and more, the most she had ever given him was the nervous removal of her shirt. As soon as his fingers had begun to dig and pull, Katy had always rolled away, embarrassed, worried that he wouldn’t know when to stop, feeling a little like a piece of meat.
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