Things had been entirely different before. In my last relationship, things were real. We told each other where we were going and what we were doing. We told each other we loved each other. I didn’t love this woman. I thought she was hot as hell and I would love to get her in bed, but I was technically working for her. And we were strangers.
I set off on foot, already forming a plan of the places I’d shop and the things I’d get. I’d never just had a credit card given to me before, and I was eager to see what I could get with it, but I wasn’t the type of guy to take advantage either. I’d get the minimum of what I needed to ‘fit in’ and call it a day.
I took my time in the first store, ignoring the looks of the clerks behind the counter. They clearly didn’t think I ought to be in there, and it was with great satisfaction that I handed them the card. The woman behind the counter printed the receipt and gave me the bags with a curt smile, and I felt on top of the world as I left.
The more the afternoon wore on, the easier it became to spend the money. By the time I had reached toiletries, I was spending way more on soap, shampoo, and cologne than I would ever have dreamed I would. I couldn’t help feeling like I deserved a little luxury I guess. After all, I’d spent the better portion of the last ten years scrubbing sand out of my ass with cheap commissary soap.
I took a cab back to the apartment but paid for it with my own cash. I didn’t want that petty bill showing up with the rest of what I’d bought. Hell, I wasn’t even sure how much that was.
As I rode up the elevator, I tallied up the receipts, the taste of bile in the back of my mouth when I realized I’d spent more than eight thousand dollars. By the time I’d reached the apartment, I was ready to tell Hannah that I’d take it all back in the morning and get refunds for everything, but that thought was put on hold when I walked through the door.
Hannah was sitting on one of the bar stools. Her profile was to me, one leg dangling down toward the floor, the other crossed under her. She was wearing short shorts and a thin t-shirt that left little to the imagination. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and she was bent over a book, a pen in her hand.
She looked up with a smile when I walked in, and my heart leapt to my throat. “I thought you’d gotten lost out there.”
“Sorry, I went a little crazy and forgot that I had to carry it all back with me,” I said.
“Looks like you were successful,” Hannah nodded toward my bags with the same smile spread across her face.
“More than successful,” I said as I pulled the card out of my pocket. “I felt so strange paying eight thousand dollars for just a few bags of clothes.”
I braced myself for her to freak out, ready with an apology and the promise to take it all back. But she merely laughed. “If you think that’s bad, you should try shopping at some of the higher end places in New York City.”
Shock and relief washed over me at the same time as I set the card on the counter in front of her. “I bet.”
“Keep this,” she said as she quickly picked it up and handed it back to me. “You never know when you might want to treat yourself to something.”
What the hell do you think I just did? I thought. But I merely smiled. “Thanks. I’m going to go unpack these things and get my room put together.”
“Okay,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything”
“Thanks,” I said again. I headed for my room, forcing myself to keep my eyes ahead of me. It was nearly impossible for me not to check her out in her outfit and how she was sitting, but I knew I couldn’t do it. The situation was beyond my wildest dreams, but I knew even within it there were limitations.
And having my way with Hannah on the kitchen counter was definitely included in those limitations.
8
Hannah
Drake thanked the man as he left us at the table, then held out the chair for me to sit down.
“Thank you,” I said with a warm smile. We had been living under our arrangement for just over a week, and I’d insisted that we make a point of going out to dinner together.
“After all,” I’d told him. “If we want people to believe that we are a married couple, we’re going to have to look the part more than just living in the same apartment.”
Drake had agreed, once again insisting I be the one to pick the venue.
“I don’t know where you like to go, and since this is all coming out of your funds, you should be the one to pick,” he’d said.
“You’re earning it,” I replied. “So really, you’re helping pay for all this too, in a way.”
Drake laughed, but it was evident to me he didn’t agree. I didn’t want to go for anything that was too lavish. So, I opted for a restaurant Brandon and I had frequented when we were together. It was a nice place, and one I enjoyed the atmosphere of. But I also knew I’d be lying to myself if I wanted to pretend that I didn’t partly hope that we’d run into Brandon.
The sooner he saw us together in public again, the sooner I’d be able to tell him to fuck off for good.
“I like the ring,” I said as Drake took a seat across from me.
“What? Oh, thank you,” he said with a smile. He had been looking around the room with the same look that he’d had the first time I’d taken him to a venue. I wanted to ask him if he was comfortable, but I didn’t want to add pressure.
From the little that I’d learned about him over the course of the past week, it didn’t sound like he came from a lot of money. I hoped that he could see that was okay. Money didn’t make a man, that was for sure. I knew plenty of scoundrels with money, and Drake was quickly proving to be the perfect gentleman.
I’d given him a ring to wear to help officiate the look, and I was sporting a nice rock of my own on my left hand. We certainly looked the part.
Just act natural and be you. He’ll feed off your energy and fit in. Just give it a bit of time, I thought.
The restaurant was bustling with people, and we were lucky to get to the table that we did. I knew we should have made reservations before arriving, but I hadn’t wanted to go through the trouble. I preferred just seeing what was available and taking it if we could.
After all, I wasn’t opposed to leaving and going somewhere else if there was no room for us. I wasn’t like my parents. I wasn’t going to demand the best of the best if I was going to eat somewhere. I could wait with the rest of the world, or I could go somewhere else.
“Yours looks good, too,” Drake said, cutting into my thoughts.
“Thanks,” I said. “I found it in one of the boxes in my room when I moved in. It probably belonged to my mother or grandmother or something.”
“You could always ask her,” he suggested, and I shook my head.
“I don’t really care to know. Shoot, if I did find out it belonged to one of them, I probably wouldn’t want to wear it anymore,” I said with a laugh. “I don’t really have much more to do with them than what is absolutely necessary.”
“It happens,” he said with a shrug. I wanted to ask him about his parents, but I bit my tongue. By now, he had to know that I really didn’t have the best relationship with mine, though I didn’t talk about it often and I was grateful that he didn’t push. Drake, on the other hand, never brought up his family. Or really his past at all. I knew it had to be hard to talk about his time in the Navy, so I really didn’t ask about it. Plus, I didn’t want him to feel as though I was prying into his personal life.
This was a business arrangement, after all, not something that we were going to be best friends over. Silence fell over our table and I glanced around the room. There were a lot of other couples, many of them looking a lot like us. Drake had certainly done a good job of looking the part of the rich.
I’d even venture to say that he looked like he fit in as well. If he was nervous, he wasn’t showing it. He merely sat across from me, giving me most of his attention, but looking about the place from time to time as well.
Reading body language was something
that I’d studied extensively in school. Working with at risk youth meant I was going to have to read the things that they weren’t saying verbally. So, I would practice on the rest of the world as often as I could.
And what I was getting from Drake was that he was clearly trying to mask what was really going on in his mind. I figured it had to have something to do with the fact that he and I came from two different worlds. But then, I didn’t want to make any sort of assumptions about him. If I was going to hold firm to my belief money didn’t make a person, then I wasn’t going to assume that he felt one way or another being surrounded with people who either were wealthy, or who were living like they were.
“What did you tell them?” he asked suddenly.
“Who?” I replied, surprised he was actually digging deeper beyond conversing about what was right in front of us.
“Your parents. You said the other day that you had talked to your mom. I was just wondering what you told them about suddenly being married,” Drake said. He approached the topic carefully, clearly erring on the side of caution. He didn’t want to overstep his bounds any more than I wanted to overstep mine.
We would both be careful with each other. Careful not to offend, careful not to dig too deep. Skimming the surface, that would keep the relationship safe. And that was exactly what I would do in response.
I shrugged. “I handled it. Don’t worry. They aren’t going to come after you for anything. My father did mention that he might be throwing another gala in the near future, though.”
Drake looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Gala?”
I shook my head. “They love to pat themselves on the back for being such giving citizens since they make donations to the police and fire departments. If they are feeling really generous, they might throw in an exclusive, snotty school, too.”
“Oh,” Drake said. “And are you going?”
“I’m not sure it’s going to happen, but if it does, we’re both going,” I said with a smile. I could see the lack of enthusiasm in his face, and I reached forward, patting his hand. “Don’t worry. He loves to talk about these sorts of things months before he actually does them, so odds are we are going to be through with our little arrangement before he does.”
A strange expression washed across his face ever so briefly. For a moment, I almost thought that he was disappointed. But then, he chuckled. “And what are you going to tell them when you show up without a husband? Seems pretty strange to tell them you are married one month then all of a sudden be single again.”
“I’ll just say that we got an annulment, or a divorce, depending on how long this takes,” I said with a shrug. Drake looked surprised, and it was my turn to chuckle. “Come on, when people marry for money and status above all else, you’ll find that many of the marriages are brief, even compared to celebrities.”
“Crazy,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Is it, though? I told you that I didn’t believe money made a person, and that’s the sad mistake many people cling to. They think if they have money, they are going to be happy and never want for a thing. They don’t realize at the end of the day it’s all just stuff,” I said. “That’s why I never judge or treat anyone based on how much money they have.”
“That’s noble,” Drake said. He gave me another strange look, and I wanted to ask him what was on his mind. There was clearly a lot more going on in his head than what he verbalized. I’d learned that just a couple days in to us living together.
I did prefer it to a person who was constantly prying into my life and asking me what I was doing. All in all, I was growing quite attached to the man. I knew it was stupid, and I never let myself dwell on it for very long, but I could almost see the two of us together as a real couple.
Perhaps there were times when I also gave him a strange look and didn’t realize it. The times when I had a brief yearning for more with him. The times when I almost let myself believe that we weren’t just pretending for a few short weeks or months.
I could tell myself that I could ignore those feelings entirely, but I knew that wasn’t true. Drake was everything I wanted in a man and more. He wasn’t just my knight in shining armor; he was everything I could ever wish to have.
He was quiet, reserved, strong, and confident. He knew how to be friendly when the time called for it, but he didn’t have the need to be the life of the party. I liked that more than I could say. It was the opposite of how needy Brandon had been – how demanding and domineering he chose to be no matter where we were.
Drake let me be me, and somehow, he fit into my world flawlessly. Though he merely gave me another smile and said nothing as we sipped our waters and waited for our server, I didn’t feel the need to break the silence.
Just sitting with him was enough.
And that scared the shit out of me.
9
Drake
The restaurant was busy, and I tried not to feel flustered with the fact that it was taking our server a long time to ask us what we wanted to drink. I wasn’t quite sure how to act and was doing my best to mimic Hannah’s behavior. We had our waters, and she would sip hers from time to time as we made small talk.
I was trying to act completely natural with her, but I couldn’t have felt more like a fish out of water if I had literally been one. There were so many people about, and knowing what my leather jacket alone cost, I couldn’t help but wonder what some of the other patrons had spent on their apparel.
Hannah looked incredible. She was wearing a simple sundress with a light jacket over the top, and wedge shoes. Her makeup was simple, flawless, yet elegant, and her hair was pulled into a braid draped over one shoulder. It wasn’t a perfect braid, but there was something about her entire look that made me feel I was out with some sort of a celebrity.
She was friendly enough, but certainly reserved. At first, I panicked, wondering if I wasn’t playing my part right. But, as I looked around the room, I could see she wasn’t acting any differently than the rest of the couples.
Perhaps that’s the way it was with the wealthy. They enjoyed being out with each other but didn’t make a show of being together. I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t going to ask Hannah about it, either.
For as encouraging and patient as she was with my attitude about everything, I didn’t want her to continue to see how different from each other our situations had caused us to be.
She’d already told me several times that she didn’t care about wealth or where a person came from, but there was a part of me that couldn’t fully accept that. I’d like to believe the same about myself, but that didn’t change the fact that I felt intimidated when I was around her, and I dreaded the thought of going to one of the galas she described.
But then, I didn’t want what we had to end, either. I knew it was inevitable. I had agreed to play the part of the husband as long as she needed. She’d just told me straight, when she didn’t need me anymore, that was going to be the end. Divorce, annulment, a breakup, whatever we called it the end result was the same.
It was a business agreement, plain and simple. There was no denying it, and there was no changing it. All I could do was focus on the part of playing the husband and forget about the rest – especially about my growing feelings.
At last, I could see the server making her way over to us. I was determined to be polite despite the fact I was incredibly annoyed, but my voice caught in my throat when I saw her face.
Anna Marie, dressed in a waitress uniform and with almost no makeup, stared at me as though she had just seen a ghost. The moment couldn’t have lasted more than a second or two, but it was enough for us to see enough of each other.
There were dark circles under her eyes and no ring on her finger. Her makeup looked more like she’d slept in it than like she’d put it on fresh that day, and her thin lips looked like they were more comfortable giving a frown than they were a smile.
A million thoughts ran through my mind at once. I wanted to ask her if things had falle
n apart with Charlie – tell her that he really wasn’t the lover that she thought he was. Charlie might have been my best friend, but any man who was willing to steal another man’s wife wasn’t the kind of man a woman would want to run off with.
I wanted to gloat that she still wasn’t modeling. That, in fact, she was now working long hours as a waitress. We both knew, even if this was one of the best rated restaurants in Chicago, that she wasn’t making nearly as much money to support the life she’d wanted to live.
But I was also surprised. There wasn’t anything in me that wanted to take her in my arms. I didn’t want to hug her, hold her, forgive her. I didn’t want to tell her I loved her. In fact, for the first time in my life, I looked at her and realized that I had no feelings for her at all.
There wasn’t even a hatred there. Instead, I felt my own heart fill with pain. Even more pain than what I had first found out about the affair, or the night that I’d come home and found the apartment empty. It was a pain that I’d never felt before, and it was quickly filled with the need to do something to retaliate.
I didn’t have to wait long. Her eyes darted from me to Hannah, then to our hands. Her face went from a sheet of white to beet red when she saw the rings on our fingers, and I quickly grabbed the wine sheet and skimmed the bottles that were listed, my eyes landing on the most expensive one.
Before anyone had the chance to speak, I ordered.
There was another moment of sheer shock and silence between the three of us. I could see in my ex’s face she wasn’t sure what to say. She clearly couldn’t believe that I was in the restaurant, or that I had remarried. It was likely an even bigger shock to her that I’d just ordered the most expensive bottle that they had.
My mind was brought back to the present as I felt Hannah’s hand close over the top of mine. “You have excellent taste, sweetheart.”
Playing Pretend Box Set Page 43
