I was out the door in a flash, trying to ignore the stress that was quickly building in my chest. The exams were coming faster than what I felt prepared for, and I didn’t want to face the possibility of having to do another semester.
I had worked hard to get to this point, and it was all coming down to the wire. I knew the other girls were worried they weren’t going to pass, either, so we were going to spend the day – and several afternoons I wasn’t working – studying and quizzing each other.
We all had dreams of being therapists or social workers, but if we were going to realize those dreams, we were going to have to get through school. But, deep down inside, I knew that wasn’t was truly bothering me. It had nothing to do with the exams.
Well, almost nothing.
You got what you wanted. You finally got to tell Brandon that you were married and it’s time for him to move on. Drake was right there beside you, and considering the look on Brandon’s face, I’m guessing he fell for it.
So, that was it then? Was I going to tell Drake that I didn’t need his help anymore? I knew that it was just a short-term means to an end from the start. Why then did it feel so awful that my time with Drake was coming to an end?
There was a knot in my stomach as I ordered food at the coffee shop, and I anxiously tapped my foot on the ground as I waited. I knew why it felt awful to think about ending the arrangement with Drake. Plain and simple, I had fallen for him. And I’d fallen hard.
Now that we’d talked to Brandon, there was little doubt in my mind the end was coming sooner rather than later, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
The biggest problem was that I didn’t know how Drake felt. Clearly, we had some sort of a connection, but was it enough on his part to make him want to stay with me. Or was the amazing sex just a bonus to the hefty paycheck I’d promised him at the end of the whole thing? There was a lump in my throat as I took the bagel and coffee and thanked the barista. It was true. I had to face the facts and talk to Drake. I knew the end was coming, and it wasn’t fair for me to expect anything different from him.
A deal was a deal, and I was going to go through with what I told him. I had no choice. Love hadn’t been part of the equation, and it wasn’t going to be now. Drake had done his part, and it was time for me to do mine.
But I knew without a doubt one thing was for sure: I was going to break my own heart in the process.
17
Drake
“I’ve never been in here,” Brody whistled as he looked around the bar with approval in his eyes. He had finally gotten back to Chicago, and now found himself in the same situation I had been in when I’d first gotten back.
In a hotel room and living out of a duffle bag, I figured he’d be happy to get out for the afternoon. Plus, it had been a while since the two of us had seen each other. We had been so close when we were in the Navy, and he’d really helped me keep focused on not getting my head blown off after shit went down with my ex.
Brody was one of the only men I’d truly confided in through the entire ordeal, and he had been there for me through it all. I was proud to call him my friend, and ever since what happened with Charlie, I was even prouder to call him my best friend.
Brody was the man who would be there through the thick and thin. He was also the man who would tell me straight how he saw things. With Brody, there was no beating around the bush or pussy footing around. If he thought I should or shouldn’t do something, he would tell me regardless of personal feelings.
He was the man I’d truly trust with my life. So, when he texted me that he was back in Chicago, I immediately started looking for a time when we could meet up.
I decided to take him to one of the bars I’d never frequented myself. The drinks were expensive, and the atmosphere screamed money. Not only did I prefer the air in the lesser expensive venues, the fact of the matter was that I couldn’t afford to hang out at places like this without the money Hannah was paying me.
When I’d told her I was going to spend the afternoon with a guy I knew in the service, she had suggested that I use the card she’d given me for our time together and treat him to something nice. Of course, I didn’t argue. Though I felt odd using the card for my own frivolous spending, I was proud to get to treat my best friend to such a place.
“It’s something, that’s for sure. Come on, let’s get a table by the window. I’d rather not hang out at the bar itself,” I said. That was where many of the businessmen in the city would gather to gossip and strike their deals. Sitting at a high top near one of the windows, we’d get to see what was going on outside while having some level of privacy.
We ordered our drinks and a few appetizers to munch on, then we headed to a more secluded area of the bar.
“It’s good to have you back, man,” I said as we sat down. “Chicago has felt pretty damn big for being a place I once thought was too small.”
“Have you had any contact with your Anna Marie since you’ve been back?” he asked.
“Only saw her once,” I said. I filled him in on what happened at the restaurant I’d gone to with Hannah. But I was rather vague about the relationship aspect between her and I. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Though Brad and the guys had thought that it was a great idea, I wasn’t sure how Brody would take it.
When I finished, he shook his head and sipped his drink. “To think. She threw her entire life away thinking she was going to be one of the damn Real Housewives, now she’s a waitress.”
“I know. And the funny thing is I really don’t feel sorry for her. But I’m not pissed off at her really anymore, either. I just want her to get out of my life and stay out,” I admitted. “I thought I would feel a lot more anger and the need for revenge than I do.”
“Time heals a lot. Hell, you’ve not really been together much over the past ten years. I’m sure that made it a bit easier to adjust,” he said with a shrug. “Not that it’s ever easy to get over someone fucking you over like that.”
“Well, from the looks of things it seems she got fucked herself. Who knows, either way, I’m over that bitch and I’ve got no plans to ever contact her again,” I said as I took a drink from my own glass. These were obviously quality drinks, and there was a part of me that hoped Brody was impressed.
I knew I had to be careful. I didn’t want to end up caring about cost and money or being showy like Hannah’s parents. But from the sounds of things, Brody had also come from rags in his childhood. This had to be quite a different feeling for him.
“So coming back around,” he said. I looked at him with raised eyebrows. “What the hell were you doing going on a date at a place like that? Doesn’t quite seem like your style. Same as this place,” he said, motioning to the elaborate décor around us.
“When I got out of the service, I wanted to be different than the man I was going in,” I said with a shrug. “I thought I’d mix things up a bit.”
“So what’re you doing for work? That was the one question you were really worried about when you got out,” he pressed.
I hesitated. I knew exactly what he was doing. And so did he.
“I’m getting by well enough,” I said. “I’m not going to stick with what I’m doing, though. I want something with a little more excitement.”
He looked at me, and I knew he could see right through my story. It didn’t sound like me any more than hanging out at expensive bars and restaurants. He took another drink of his beverage as he stared at me, clearly waiting for me to come clean.
I sighed. “Alright. The truth is that I’m playing house with a girl I met shortly after I got back. I was desperate to get out of that hotel room, I needed a job, and I was trying to get over Anna Marie as fast as possible. I found a girl being harassed by a guy at the club, and after setting the situation straight, she pretty much asked if I would pretend to be her husband to get this guy off her back. I’m living with her, using her money, and getting paid on top of it.”
I blurted out the story so fast, I
wasn’t sure how Brody would take it. He stared at me another second, and I was sure he would blow up over the situation. It sounded crazy, that was for sure, and he was likely going to tell me that I was going through some sort of crisis.
Of course, I couldn’t argue with him entirely, and I would be willing to sit through any lecture he wanted to give. But, to my surprise, he didn’t say a word. He continued to stare at me in silence for another second, then he burst out laughing.
“That is the last thing I thought you would say,” he managed after the tears started rolling down his cheeks. “I wondered how you became so rich all of a sudden.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy, and really the last thing I ever thought I’d do with my life. But hell, it’s working for the time being, and I think we got the job done,” I said. I told him about the gala and what happened with Brandon, and Brody once more shook his head.
He still had the amused smile on his face, and I grinned as I sat back. “What?”
“Only you, Drake. Only you are able to get yourself into this kind of shit,” he said with a shake of his head. “But if you got your point across and don’t have to worry about the guy anymore, what happens? You get paid and leave?”
“I guess,” I said with a shrug. “That pretty much sums up our agreement.”
We both fell silent for a minute, and Brody cleared his throat. “So are you going to tell me the rest of the truth?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Come on, man. I know you well enough to know that you still aren’t telling me something,” he prompted. “What’s going on?”
I hesitated. Finally, I gave up. I had told him this much, I may as well come clean about the rest. Hell, he had already proven to be on my side in this crazy situation, so why not confide in him like I did over my wife and the divorce?
“Things didn’t go entirely as planned,” I admitted.
“Meaning?” he asked.
“Meaning I really like this girl. A lot. When I got out of the service – when Anna Marie did what she did to me – I promised myself I wasn’t ever going to fall in love again. I was going to just live my life for me and do what I wanted to do,” I said.
“Yup. You told me that the last time we talked,” Brody replied. “And this girl has changed that?”
“That’s the problem. She has, but I don’t know how she feels about me, and I’m not sure how to talk to her about it. Falling in love was never part of our agreement, and for all I know, she could be counting the days until I’m gone,” I said. “I don’t know what to say to her.”
Brody took a drink and thought for a moment. “Does she seem to like you?”
“A lot,” I said. “But then, we are pretending to be married, so of course she’s going to act like she likes me.”
“Even when the two of you are alone? How’s that?” he prompted.
“We’ve slept together twice,” I said. “If that tells you anything.”
“It says a lot when it comes to women,” he said. “It sounds to me like you better grow a pair and talk to her.”
“I’m just afraid of what she’s going to say. Hell, if she doesn’t feel the same – or if she’s creeped out that I have feelings for her after all this, I don’t know,” I said.
“But you’re running out of time, and if you never say a word and you end up losing her, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you had just manned up and listened to me,” Brody said. “Come on, the worst that’s going to happen is that she’s going to tell you she doesn’t feel the same.”
I sighed. He was right. But, to me, that was one of the worst things that could happen in my life at this point. Telling her the truth would be putting a lot on the line for me, and I wasn’t sure how I’d handle it if she didn’t feel the same way.
But, if I didn’t say anything and ended up losing her, then I would forever hate myself and wonder what might have been. It was a gamble, but it might be one that was worth taking, even if it could mean that I once again had my heart ripped from my chest.
“Alright,” I said at last. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Good. I’d do it soon,” Brody said. “You never know when this is going to be over.”
“I know,” I nodded. “I’ll do it today.”
18
Hannah
I sighed and set down my book at the sound of a knock at the door. Drake told me earlier that morning he was going to go out with a friend, but he had a key, and if he had gotten home, he’d have been able to let himself back in. Not to mention, I didn’t expect him to be back so soon.
When another knock rang through the apartment, I got up and headed for the door, eager to get whatever package might be being delivered or give directions to whoever was obviously lost and send them on their way. I slid back the lock without looking through the peep hole and stopped short when I pulled the door open.
My parents were in the hall, both standing with their arms crossed and looking down their noses at me. I was immediately reminded of when they would come barging into my room after the grade reports were given out.
My first instinct was to close the door right in their faces, but I merely gave them a confused look.
“Mom? Dad?” I asked. “What are you doing here? Nothing’s broken, you don’t need to come in.”
“We aren’t here to look at the place,” my father said. “We’re here to talk to you.”
“After all this time, huh?” I asked. “Must be my lucky day.”
“There’s something important that’s come up,” my mother said. “It’s not our fault that you only wish to talk to us when you’re in some sort of trouble.”
“Well, I’m not in trouble so there’s no need to talk to you,” I remarked with a flip of my hair. “Can’t you send a text or something?”
“This is important, Now, you can either let us in now or you can find yourself a new place to stay that we don’t pay for,” my father said.
Though I wasn’t surprised by his threat, it still stung a bit nonetheless. So, after another moment of hesitation, I pushed the door further open. I didn’t want to talk to them at all, but I knew they wouldn’t leave until they said what they had come to say. As far as I was concerned, there wasn’t anything for us to say to each other.
I was living my life, and they had chosen their own path that took them out of it. They would rather have their money and their status in society. I would rather help those I felt had a fighting chance if they were equipped with the right tools.
“Sit wherever,” I said.
My parents walked to the living room and perched on the couch, looking as stiff and uncomfortable as I felt.
“Do you want anything to drink?” I asked. “You know what’s here.”
Both declined and sat waiting for me to join them. I chose to remain standing. I never felt comfortable in their presence these days, and I was too agitated to sit down. I was suddenly glad Drake wasn’t there. I didn’t want to have to deal with them treating him like shit.
“What do you want?” I asked. “I’ve got a lot of studying I need to do, and don’t really have the time to just sit around and chat.”
“The gala the other day,” my mother said. “You’re married?”
I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Even though I had told Drake that I had handled things with my parents, I hadn’t told them about my arrangement. There was no way they would have understood what I was doing, and I’d felt it was better just to leave them in the dark since the situation wasn’t permanent. I did know, however, that the information would get back to them. I just hadn’t expected them to confront me with it in person and so quickly.
“Yep,” I simply said, choosing not to give too many details. “How could you do something so important without including your mother and I in it?” my father asked, the disappointment evident in his voice.
“I’m an adult and I can do what I want. And I cut you out of my life because of h
ow you treat me. If you wanted me to be your daughter, then you should be my parents and support me,” I said as I tried to keep my temper under control. I didn’t want to go back into how they had always shit on my dreams and were never there for me.
They were some of the most discouraging people I had ever met, and I didn’t care what they had to say any longer about any part of my life.
“It really isn’t that far of a stretch to think I’d make a decision like this without you. We met, we clicked, we married. Simple as that,” I said.
“We are here to be your parents and tell you that this is unacceptable,” my mother said. “We don’t know this person, who he is, where he came from, or what he wants.”
“All you should worry about is whether I’m happy,” I replied.
“He’s using you for your money,” she said flatly.
“You just admitted you don’t know a thing about him! How the hell can you say that he’s using me for anything?” I asked with a laugh. “Maybe I’m using him for his.”
“That’s ridiculous. You have more money than you could ever possibly ask for. You don’t need to use anyone else’s. But then, you’d have to admit that you are part of the family if you take the money, wouldn’t you?” my father asked. “Admit that you aren’t just another good Samaritan out there on the streets just living the selfless life.”
“Not that you would know anything about living selflessly,” I said.
“That’s enough!” my mother rose from her perch on the couch. “We didn’t come here to bicker with you about what you are doing with your life, though we did hope that you would be making better choices.”
“I make great choices,” I said, but she ignored me.
“The fact of the matter is that we don’t care how much money that man has, or what you think you’re doing with him. We’re here to put an end to it,” she said.
“You don’t know him!” I snapped. “And how do you think you’re going to put an end to it?”
Playing Pretend Box Set Page 48
