“Scared of what?”
“Everything I just told you. Taking pictures. Painting. Drawing. I was thinking too much at once. Afraid of life. Okay? And I had a bad night. And I was alone. Everything just got to me. And I swear on my life, it’s like he just knows it. He texted me, Kip. He wanted to know how I was doing and if we could talk.”
“How did you get there?”
“He picked me up.”
I gritted my teeth. I swallowed the explosion of anger. “Then what?”
“He took me to his place. That apartment. There were a couple other guys there. And girls. I knew I messed up. But I stayed. I…”
“Right,” I said. “You did what you said you’d never do again.”
“Just to take the edge off, Kip,” Ruby said. She grabbed my hands. “Please. Just understand it for a second.”
“What happened to the ring then, girl?” I asked.
“I was wearing it like I always did. And I need you to really believe me… but when everything started to kick in, I hated it. I hated the feeling. It made me realize how much I hated it. I swear on my life, Kip. I was sitting on the couch with Garcia and it all just…”
“What were you two doing?” I asked.
“What?”
“Was he touching you?”
Ruby laughed. “Are you kidding me? Why does that matter?”
“It matters to me.”
“Wait a second, Kip. I have to hear you brag to your friends about screwing some girl in the back of your SUV? Some girl you didn’t even bother to get her name. You really want to do this? How many girls have you screwed since you started texting me?”
“That’s different.”
“Bullshit,” she said. “And you know what? I didn’t screw him. Okay? There, you have it. We made out a little, yeah, but whatever.”
My mind flashed images of Ruby kissing Garcia.
Wearing jealousy was heavy. It was painful.
I hated that I felt it.
“I went into the bathroom, okay? And I took my necklace off and put it on the edge of the sink. I think it fell off when I threw up.”
“You threw up?” I asked.
“Yeah. I was so mad at myself. So filled with anxiety over the night. I threw up everywhere.”
“Shit, Ruby…”
“And when Garcia saw that, he got pissed and made someone drive me home.”
“And you left your ring there.”
“Yeah,” she said. She put her hand out. “I did not ask anyone to go get it. I waited more than a few days and finally talked to Tinlsey about it. I just wanted to vent to her about it. But she takes everything to another level now. Everyone looks at me like I’m…”
“Defective,” I said.
“Yeah. Like I said earlier.”
I made fists and just stood there. I replayed the story over and over in my head.
“I thought you were different, Kip,” she said. “I thought I could talk to you. I’m sorry I let you down too. You can be pissed at me all you want. I’m used to it. Everyone is always mad at me for something. That’s how it’s been my entire life too.”
I stared at her.
She waited for me to respond.
But I didn’t.
I watched as she wiped the corners of her eyes.
“Fuck this then,” she whispered.
Ruby walked away.
* * *
Her room is empty. The bed is the same mess as it was this morning when she woke up. That means she left and never came back. She isn’t coming home tonight. And she has a long list of made up friends and cheap excuses that my parents just believe. Because they’re little project is tougher than they thought she would be.
They thought bringing Kait home was going to be easy and fun.
Have a pretend daughter for a little while.
Throw some money at her.
Send her to college.
Let her flourish on her own and they look like heroes.
But that’s not Kait.
If they took the time to get to know her…
I grab her favorite comforter and lift it off the bed.
I hold it to my nose and shut my eyes.
She hates sleeping without her favorite comforter.
It’s security for her.
Or it used to be.
Now she just gets high. That’s her security now.
She’s somewhere. Sleeping in a bed with some guy. Or crashed on a couch with… anything and everything happening around her. Or she’s on the floor. Passed out.
Fuck.
What if she’s sleeping outside?
What if she went too far this time?
What if she’s scared… lonely… hurt… lost…
I pull the comforter to my eyes and feel my throat tighten.
I love her.
And now I’m crying over her.
I walked slowly along the beach back toward the guesthouse.
I first texted Ruby just to be flirty. I asked her if she was Tinsley’s hot friend. And she replied with a middle finger emoji. So I replied telling her that must have been a very loud and proud yes.
And we just kept talking.
But to picture her going back to that hell…
I stopped when I saw Ruby standing at the edge of the pool. The dim lights hitting the shaking water, shining against her. She hugged herself and just looked down into the water.
I walked up to her.
“I’m not going to say anything,” I said to her. “You can if you want.”
“You sure about that?” she asked me. “Thought you’d be so worried. You’d have to tell Tinsley.”
“That’s not who I am, girl,” I said. “I value trust and respect. Even if I don’t look it.”
Ruby looked at me. “Yeah? Now what?”
“Well, I could tell you that the next time you have a bad night like that to call me. Don’t text. Call. And I will talk to you all night. Or I’ll drive up there and sit with you. I could tell you that going back is never the right decision and you’ll probably end up getting really hurt if you keep doing that.”
“Yeah, you could say all that to me. That would probably piss me off though.”
“So I won’t say it then,” I said.
“I know I fucked up, Kip. And I know I don’t like that feeling.”
“Good.”
“I also don’t like the reminder of it. I know it’s a stupid, plastic ring, but still. And I feel lost…”
I touched her back. “Look forward.” I pointed. “That guesthouse is your home for tonight, Ruby. Who cares what happens after that? Just try it for a second. Just be in the moment for one time.”
Ruby nodded. “Fine. You win. But now I want to go to sleep. I don’t want to talk about this stuff anymore.”
“We can go back and fool around on that rock,” I offered.
Ruby turned to face me. “I already told you I’m not going to sleep with you, Kip. And even if I did, on a rock? I might be a mess, but fucking on a rock? Save that for your no-name-blondes.”
My hands grabbed her hips. “Jealous.”
“Goodnight, Kip,” Ruby whispered.
I turned my head. “Just one more kiss.”
Ruby groaned. She moved to her toes and kissed my cheek.
Then she let out a hmph sound.
“What?” I asked.
She pushed my hands from her hips and backed away. “You missed out.”
“On what?”
“I figured you would have turned your head and stolen a real kiss.”
“Nope.”
“Pussy,” Ruby said.
She smiled.
“Love you too, girl,” I called out.
Ruby walked around the pool and went into the guesthouse.
I made fists and let out a growling sound.
I knew what came next in this fucking thing.
And it wasn’t love. It wasn’t fooling around. Or sleeping together. Or confessing our feelings and all that
stuff.
It was much simpler… yet much more dangerous.
I had to go get that ring back for Ruby.
Chapter 8
I eventually worked my way to the house, to my bedroom, to my bed, and I slept.
That part of everything was a giant blur.
When I woke up, I hurried to get out of the house to see Ruby.
I jogged along the side of the pool and playfully knocked on the door to the guesthouse. Which I didn’t have to do. It was my damn guesthouse. And I had the key if need be.
Nobody answered.
I opened the door and walked to the couch.
The blanket that Ruby had draped over her body was folded up perfectly and resting on the middle cushion. I grabbed the blanket and brought it to my nose. That lasted all of two seconds before I dropped it.
I turned and darted toward the bedroom.
I kicked the door open and that room was empty too.
The sheets messy.
No sign of Tinsley. Or Pres.
I exited the guesthouse and looked toward the beach.
Maybe Ruby wanted to take a walk on the beach…
I smelled cigarette smoke and spun back around.
Barr was walking toward me, cigarette dangling from his mouth.
He nodded at me.
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Who?”
“Your mother,” I said. “Ruby. Where is she?”
Barr took the cigarette from his mouth. “Ruby? She’s gone.”
“Gone? Where?”
“She left a little while ago,” Barr said. “Pres drove her. With Tinsley.”
“She fucking left?” I asked.
“Ah, man, she didn’t give you a kiss goodbye, huh?” Barr asked.
“I’m not in the mood, Barr,” I said.
“Actually, I think you’re in the mood,” Barr said. “That’s the problem.”
I made a fist and opened my mouth but said nothing.
“I’m sorry,” Barr said. “I didn’t know they didn’t say anything. I crashed on the other couch and-”
“You slept in the same room as Ruby?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“You were, what, ten feet from her?”
“Fuck, Kip,” Barr said with a grin. “Are you being jealous?”
“I’m going to surf,” I said. “If you see Pres, tell him I said he could fuck himself.”
I turned and Barr hurried to catch up with me.
“I know you’re all brokenhearted over Ruby here,” he said, “but we should talk about something.”
“What?” I asked as I walked to put distance between myself and the guesthouse.
“It’s about BFH.”
“What about it?”
Barr stopped me. “I know who painted that shit on the wall.”
* * *
“You didn’t tell Pres this?” I asked.
“Not yet. I was going to wait for him to get back. But you’re all worked up. Figured this would distract you.”
“Yeah. Good call.”
“We knew people would talk,” Barr said.
“Just have to figure out exactly who,” I said.
“But it was definitely someone here,” Barr said. “Someone at BFH.”
“Fuck,” I said. “Someone setting this up. To start another fight with HCH… or to kick up East vs. West.”
Barr nodded as he smoked. “There’s one of two options here.”
“Meaning?”
“Either someone is trying to make a play at us,” Barr said. “Or… they’re just fucking stupid.”
“I need to tell you something too,” I said. “Off topic here.”
“Okay,” Barr said. “You don’t want to wait for Pres?”
“He took my girl away. He’s dead to me for the moment.”
“Your girl, huh? You and Ruby… is that something real?”
“That’s my business and not yours, Barr,” I said. I grabbed his shoulder. “Try not to worry about my dick so much.”
Barr laughed at me. “Using my own words against me. Nice. I just hope you know what you’re doing, Kip. There’s distance there. And some serious baggage. And she’s…”
“What? What is she?”
“Different,” Barr said. “I mean, you know, like Tinsley was. But even more different.”
“Hey. I’m not afraid to admit when I feel something. You just hide all that shit away and hope it never shows its face.”
“What did you want to tell me?” Barr asked, curling his lip.
“The ring that Ruby lost,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“I know where it is. And I’m going to find it.”
“Okay. Where is it at?”
“She left it Garcia’s place.”
Barr turned his head. “Fuck.”
“Listen to me, Barr.”
“You’re insane,” Barr said. “Just go buy her another ring. Buy her fucking ten rings. Buy her a ring with a diamond so fucking big she can’t lift her hand.”
“It’s not about money.”
“It’s about your life,” Barr said. “You want to walk back into that?”
“We did fine the first time.”
“We?” Barr asked. He laughed. “Holy shit, Kip. You want the Rulz to bust in there again.”
“I’ll go alone,” I said. “I just… you know what? You’ll know where I am. In case things don’t work out.”
“Work out with what?”
Tinsley was like a little, pretty ninja the way she always snuck up into conversations.
“If things don’t work out with Ruby,” I said. “Since you fucking took her away from me.”
“Watch yourself, Kip,” Pres said as he stepped up behind Tinsley.
“You’re one to talk too,” I said to Pres. “That was shit what you did behind my back.”
“We didn’t do anything behind your back,” Tinsley said. “Ruby woke us up. And said she wanted to leave.”
“She said she’d said goodbye to you already,” Pres said.
“And I got pissed at her because the way she was acting…” Tinsley’s voice trailed off.
“What?” I asked.
“She was acting like she was scared or full of regret. I thought maybe she slept with you and was mad at herself.”
“I wasn’t near her,” I said. “Barr was closer than me.”
I looked at Barr.
He showed his hands. “She’s definitely hot, Kip, but I didn’t go near her.”
“Kip,” Tinsley said. “It’s Ruby. Okay? When we dropped her off, I walked her to the house and she told me she lied. That she didn’t say goodbye to you. She didn’t know how to say goodbye or what would happen. That’s just how she is. And she’s taking care of herself. She doesn’t need…”
“Me,” I said. “She doesn’t need me. You can say it.”
“No, Kip,” Tinsley said. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted. But this is what I meant by it all. She gets nervous and makes super quick decisions.”
“You know what?” I asked. “Whatever. Pres, Barr knows who fucked up the wall at BFH. And Ruby’s missing ring? I’m going to find it. With or without you helping me.”
“Kip,” Pres said.
“No, Pres. Shut the fuck up. I’m going to surf and clear my head. Then I’m going to eat, take a shower, and I’m out of here. You all talk and figure your shit out and let me know.”
“Kip, wait a second,” Tinsley said.
“No,” I said.
“She told me to give you something.”
I paused and looked back. “What?”
Tinsley stepped toward me and reached into her pocket. “Put your hand out.”
“If this is some kind of joke, Tinsley…”
“It’s not. I swear.”
I put my hand out.
Tinsley held her hand above mine and I watched as she dropped a quarter. Then another.
Fifty cents. Two quarters. The cost of the ring. The sto
ry she told me about the ring…
“Is that how much a night with you is worth?” Barr asked.
I closed my hand and ignored Barr.
I looked at Tinsley.
“Do I want to know?” she whispered.
“It’s our thing, girl,” I said.
I walked away again.
Down to the water.
I opened my hand and looked at the two quarters.
I wasn’t sure if Ruby was fucking with me or telling me she loved me.
And I wasn’t used to that.
I made a fist again over the coins and I threw them into the ocean as hard as I could.
I knew I was going to end up too deep… again.
* * *
Wearing black wasn’t my style. Wearing sleeves wasn’t my style either. Wearing a hat… you get the picture here, girl.
I stepped out of the SUV in black jeans, a long sleeved black shirt, and a black fitted baseball cap backwards on my head.
Part of me said I should have had a weapon with me. Just to be safe. Even thinking about that was crazy enough. Everything Ruby had said about me and my life was right. We didn’t do this kind of stuff. The Rulz kept things under control in BFH and that was fine. We handled the fights between BFH and HCH. We made sure the fire of East vs. West stayed as calm as it could. And when it came time to deal with BC that was usually the worst of the worst.
Except now.
I walked across the parking lot alone, knowing what I was walking into.
We had already sent a clear message to Garcia once before.
He didn’t like to listen.
And why would he?
He thought he had power.
Over the streets.
Over people.
Over Ruby.
I swallowed hard at the thought of him sending a text to Ruby and she just jumped up out of bed and hurried to meet him.
My eyes looked left to right.
This shithole apartment building had vehicles parked all around it.
There was no way of knowing if it was just Garcia up there or twenty other people.
My heart commanded my body against the wishes of my mind.
I opened the main door and that familiar smell of dust, mold, vomit, and who knows what else hit me hard.
KIP: a bay falls high novel Page 8
