I blew her a kiss and turned and started to jog to get to the steps to get out of the house.
I shouldn’t have said a thing about my broken heart once before.
* * *
‘Has anyone ever hurt you?’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Hurt…’
‘What kind of hurt? You mean like stab me with a pen? Or fuck with my head and hurt?’
‘Both,’ she says.
She swallows hard.
‘Okay… when I was ten, there was this kid who thought he was tougher than everyone else. He was picking on this girl with glasses. I told him to stop. He grabbed a pencil and tried to stab me. He scratched my arm with it.’
‘What happened?’
‘I punched him so hard he pissed himself. In front of everyone in the classroom.’
‘No way.’
‘I swear on my life. It’s true. He pissed through his jeans and it dripped down on the floor.’
Kait turns her head and pretends to throw up.
I laugh.
‘What about other pain?’ she asks.
‘I don’t know. Why?’
‘Just asking.’
She turns to leave my room and I jump to block the door.
‘Kip.’
‘Who hurt you, girl?’
Kait laughs. ‘A lot of people. You know that. Look at my life.’
‘Not the past. I’m talking now. You look afraid.’
‘I’m not afraid.’
‘What if I admit that I am?’ I ask.
‘What are you afraid of, Kip?’
‘Losing you.’
I ripped open the driver’s door to my SUV so hard I thought it was going to fly off. I looked back and saw Ruby coming out of the front door.
My mind screamed louder than I ever heard it before.
Telling me to get the hell away from her.
Get in the fucking SUV and drive away for good. Never look back. Never come back. Never text her again.
She was right.
I’d get to go back to BFH and tell Pres and Barr that I slept with Tinsley’s hot friend.
As my mind screamed what to do, I had already turned and started to walk toward Ruby.
Now I was the idiot. I was the fucking moron. The asshole without feeling in his legs, floating toward some beauty that promised nothing but a broken heart and headache for what I’d need to drink to get over her.
Ruby had her hands buried in the pockets of her zip up hoodie.
Her hair a mess of sleep and sex.
But her eyes…
We met halfway and kept a few feet of distance between ourselves.
“Everyone is right about me,” she said. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“I don’t care about anyone,” I said. “And I don’t care what anyone has to say to me. About me.”
“What about me? Telling you…”
“Yours in the only voice I give a shit about.”
“Well, I’m telling you something then,” she said. “It’s true. I called him. Okay? I called him to come get me and he did. I called him because I wanted to escape this place and go back to what I knew. It was comfort. Or at least I thought it was. Because everything I told you about when I got there was true.”
I felt the anger rippling from my head down to my toes.
An anger that I wasn’t sure where to place.
So fuck it… I was angry at everyone and everything.
Which wasn’t good for me.
Or for anyone near me.
“Say something, Kip,” Ruby said.
“I’m still listening,” I said.
“What do you want to know next?”
“Nothing. You just said it all.”
Ruby reached for my arm. “Please. It got the best of me, okay? And I did the worst thing possible. But I swear, Kip, I realized just how bad it was when I got there.”
“But you still got messed up.”
“Yeah.”
“And that’s not going to happen again, huh?”
“So much for believing in me.”
I stepped toward her and touched her face. “That’s the thing, Ruby. I’ll never stop believing in you. You just have to believe in yourself. What you did was stupid and risky. But I did the same thing too. It’s who we are.”
“How do we stop it then?”
“We don’t,” I said.
“So I’m going to be…”
“No,” I said. “We redirect it.”
“Let me guess… this is when you sell me sex. You tell me next time either of us feels like doing something crazy we just meet up and go crazy on each other in the back of your SUV. Right?”
“Well, that option is always available, girl,” I said. “But… maybe we just talk to each other. You ever feel that way again, let me know. Let me know how I can help.”
“Maybe Tinsley is right. I should go do whatever her mother did.”
My thumbs stroked her cheeks.
I greedily hated the idea of Ruby going away.
“I can’t tell you to do that,” I said. “That’s up to you. But if you jump into the fire, I’ll jump after you to get you out.”
“See? That right there. That’s crazy.”
“Then we better redirect it.”
Ruby took her hand out of her pockets and grabbed my shirt. “I kicked you out.”
“And I left.”
“And I chased after you.”
“Because you really like me. And because you want me. And because you need me.”
“You like me,” Ruby said. “You want me. You need me.”
I nodded. “And I also need to kiss you goodbye.”
“You also need to maybe stop doing that,” Ruby said. “You really are bad for me.”
“But you admit it feels good, right?” I asked with a grin.
Ruby let go of my shirt. She put her right pointer finger to her lips and kissed it. Then she pressed that finger to my lips.
“That’s all you get,” she said.
I kissed her finger and nodded. “Works for me, girl.”
“Kip… don’t sleep with anyone else if you’re going to keep texting and annoying me.”
“Done,” I said. “I’m exclusively yours, Ruby.”
She swallowed hard. “Fuck.”
I smiled. “Fuck.”
Chapter 11
The word exclusive felt like a prison of letters. Being told what I could or couldn’t do wasn’t my thing. Not to mention the fact that Ruby was nowhere near me most of the time. I have the freedom to do what I want and the ability to lie to make it so fucking easy…
But I didn’t.
I walked toward the guesthouse, running a hand through my hair, still wet from the ocean.
The door opened and Pres and Barr walked out.
The world stopped turning when Pres and I looked at each other.
Like some kind of cosmic uh-oh, the universe knowing things could get messy really fast.
“Where’s Tinsley?” I asked.
“With friends,” Pres said.
“She let him off the leash,” Barr said with an elbow to Pres’s arm.
Pres didn’t make a face.
He barely moved.
We just stared each other down.
“I appreciate what you two did,” I said. “Showing up like that. That was a crazy and dangerous thing for me to do.”
“It was fucking stupid, Kip,” Pres said.
“And if Tinsley dropped something into a pit full of venomous alligators with teeth ten feet long you’d jump right in.”
“I love Tinsley,” Pres said. “I made a damn promise to her. We all did. But what I have with her…”
“Is this you saying you fell in love with Ruby?” Barr asked. “Because if so…”
“No,” I said. “This isn’t about love.”
I lost all train of thought.
This isn’t about love? Then what is it about? It can’t be about chas
ing the past. It has to be about chasing the now. And the future. Is it so wrong to feel the way I feel about Ruby?
“What is it then?” Pres asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I know what I want. And I know what I’m doing.”
“You’re going to get yourself hurt or killed.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Barr said with a grin and nod at me.
I grinned. “Pres, how about you take that stick that’s jammed way up your ass out? I’ve been talking to her for a little while. I’m trying to understand what she’s going through. I like talking to her.”
“Did you give her back her ring?” Pres asked.
“Of course I did.”
“Did she properly thank you?” Barr asked.
“Of course she did,” I said.
Pres shook his head.
He took a step and I grabbed his arm. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“I think everything’s been said,” Pres said.
“What’s the truth though? You got a thing for Ruby? Dreaming of a world where you have both Tinsley and Ruby between the sheets?”
“I’ll fucking punch you again,” Pres said. “I’ll punch you so hard you’ll forget about Ruby.”
“What if I like her, Pres? What if I wanted to do something nice for her? What if I promised her I would save her no matter what? What if I’m tired of playing the backup boyfriend to Tinsley and I want something? And what if I gave Ruby that ring, and we talked, and she threw herself at me… and I took care of her in a way I never did with someone before… and then I told her it was just her and nobody else?”
“Wait a second,” Barr said. “You’re telling us right now, Kip, that you promised yourself to just one person?”
“Exclusive,” I said.
“Bullshit,” Barr said. “I’ll give that five minutes. The second you see some innocent, blue eyes and cleavage you’re going to forget Ruby’s name.”
“He’s got a point,” Pres said.
“And just like that I realized my two best friends… my brothers… are assholes.”
I walked away, no idea where I planned on going next.
I really just wanted to go back to Ruby’s. Hang out with her. Do something different. Maybe meet Gram without the wooden spoon smashing against my arm.
Pres let out a whistle.
“Might want to backtrack a second, Kip,” Barr called out.
I stopped walked. “Give me one reason why.”
Pres and Barr caught up to me.
One on each side.
“We can figure everything else out later,” Pres said.
I turned my head and looked at Pres. “Figure everything else out? There’s nothing to figure out, Pres. You’re not going to tell me what I can or can’t do. If you or Tinsley or both don’t like me near Ruby, you two need to work on that. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Listen to Pres,” Barr said.
“About what?” I asked.
Pres broke his stare from me and looked forward. “We know who painted the wall at BFH.”
* * *
It was like the old days.
Before Tinsley.
Before Ruby.
Before everything got all fucked up.
Pres driving.
Barr in the passenger seat smoking a cigarette.
Me sitting in the backseat, in the middle, my arms reached across the tops of the seats.
We sat in the empty parking lot to a shit building Barr technically owned.
Pres wanted to have a conversation but I wasn’t in the mood for that.
He knew it too.
“Kip wants to fight,” Pres said.
“I second that,” Barr said.
“I know we have to send a statement,” Pres said.
“So I’ll send it,” I said. “I get it, Pres. You have a lot going on at once here. And you know what? You never talk about it. So let me talk for you. Your mother is dead. Your father is out of the picture. You inherited everything. You know damn well things are never going to calm down. Tinsley is going to take you to the edge. And you fucking love it.”
Pres curled his lip. “Anything else?”
“Just remember who we are and why,” I said.
“Kip is right,” Barr said. “This is to test us. To fuck with us. Porter was drunk but he knew what he wanted to do. Tough guy, right?”
That’s who did it.
Some meat neck.
Big on muscles, small on brains.
Once the rumors started swirling it was no surprise a name was kicked out.
“So this means Porter wants to get a crew together?” Pres asked. “And make a run at us?”
“Who knows,” Barr said.
“Who fucking cares?” I asked. “We take care of him and that takes care of any notion of him throwing a crew together. Anyone who even thought about following him will back off. You know that, Pres. Don’t fuck around with this.”
“Drunk asshole vandalizing his own building,” Barr said. “That’s just laughable.”
“One war slows and another begins,” Pres said.
I grabbed Pres’s shoulder. “Can’t take it? Maybe you should walk away then.”
Pres looked at me. “Yeah. You’re right. Why even bother talking about this? Let’s just go jump right into the fire. You ready for this?”
“Now you’re talking,” I said.
I cracked my knuckles and Pres started to drive.
Pres stopped for a minute in the middle of the road to double check something on his phone.
Then he drove again.
To a corner gym, which shouldn’t have surprised me at all.
Pres parked the SUV on the side of the building and I jumped out first.
I ripped open the door to the gym and smelled sweat and the metal of the weights.
There was a girl behind the counter that looked familiar. She was face down on her phone, chomping on gum.
The gym was empty except for three people.
Porter.
And two of his guys.
Pres and Barr caught up and I looked at both of them.
We all nodded.
“I love it,” Barr said, taking one last drag of his cigarette.
“Hey, you can’t smoke in here,” the girl said, finally looking up.
“Sorry, love,” Barr said.
He dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.
“Hey!” she cried out.
I was already on the move.
Porter hung over a bar at a bench, one foot up on the bench.
His two guys were each on a bench at an incline, dumbbells in each hand, grunting as they lifted heavy weights.
“Fuck BFH,” I said.
Porter turned. His shoulders were obnoxiously round, just like his head. Everything was built thick, like his body was eating itself and swelling up as it did so.
“What?” Porter asked.
“That’s enough talk, Kip,” Barr said.
“Right,” I said.
I threw a punch.
Fighting a guy with muscle wasn’t all that hard. They usually thought they were tougher than they were. Strong, yeah. But hit them in the right spot in the jaw and they melted.
Porter crumbed to the floor.
The other two guys hurried to drop their weights.
Barr and Pres were on them.
“Don’t fucking be stupid,” Pres said.
“Get up,” I said to Porter. “Make it a fight.”
Porter grabbed the bench and fought to get back on his feet.
“You’re dead,” he said to me.
I laughed. “I’m dead? You know who we are.”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” Porter said.
I stretched my neck. “I love tough guys. All your brains went to your biceps. So I’ll explain what I’m going to do now. That mirror right over there?” I pointed. Porter looked. I could have knocked him out right then but I didn’t. “I’m going to throw you through it. To make sure t
he message is clear. If you fuck with the Rulz you pay for it. You have no idea what you just stepped into.”
Porter threw an elbow, trying to catch me off guard.
I jumped back.
He then moved into a boxing stance, bending his knees, throwing fists faster than I expected.
Which was good.
He landed a couple heavy punches to my sides.
I moved with him, enjoying the moment.
A quick right clipped my bottom lip and I tasted blood instantly.
Porter’s eyes widened, feeling himself.
He tried to dance his feet like he wanted to show off.
From the corner of my right eye I saw dumbbells on a rack.
I grabbed a twenty pound weight and dropped it on his right foot.
“Dance now, motherfucker,” I said with a laugh.
Porter screamed and grabbed for his foot.
The other two guys then decided to make their move at Pres and Barr.
Pres was casual, a couple punches to defuse the situation.
Barr was a little more elegant. He threw an elbow and laid the guy out on a bench and then started to put weights on the guy’s back.
I stayed focused on Porter and grabbed him by the back of the neck.
“Let’s go,” I said.
I walked Porter as he hobbled with his now bad foot.
“Christ, man, stop,” Porter said. “It was a fucking joke. A fucking joke, man.”
I stopped with a foot between Porter’s head and the mirror.
“What?” I asked.
“A joke,” he said. “I was dared.”
“So you got drunk and got dared to paint the wall.”
“Yeah,” Porter said. “It had nothing to do with you, man.”
“But it did,” I said. “It’s our job to keep things in order.”
“But I’m telling you it was a fucking joke. It wasn’t a threat or a fight.”
I looked Pres and Barr.
They had their business under control.
The girl behind the counter was jaw dropped still, wondering what was going to happen next.
KIP: a bay falls high novel Page 11
