by Liv Brywood
“Some men can’t. Some don’t care if you say no… even if you scream no.”
He grimaced. “Any man who doesn’t stop when you say no is a bastard. If that ever happens again, I want you to be ready to beat the shit out of him.”
***
As Nosh picked his way down the trail back toward the den, he silently counted to one hundred both backward and forward. Gwen’s soft, sensual kiss almost killed him. It was everything he could do to keep himself from laying her on the grass to make love to her.
Ninety-nine, Ninety-eight…
He couldn’t stop thinking about the curve of her voluptuous breasts as they’d pressed against his chest. Obsessed with her scent, he wanted to drop to his knees and kiss the soft, damp part of her femininity until she mewed with pleasure.
Ninety-four… wait… ninety-six? Shit. He’d lost count again.
He’d wanted to teach her a few more moves, but he was so hard, he was afraid he’d make a damn fool of himself. He’d just promised that he could control himself around her, so to lose control was out of the question. He needed to be careful. She trusted him, but it was a tenuous bond. One wrong move and he’d lose her trust forever.
By the time they’d reached the den, his painful erection had receded. It was a good thing he’d chosen to run so far on the way out because it had given him enough time to get his head together on the way home.
After walking through the gate, he ran into Lucian. Gwen waited patiently by his side while the men talked.
Lucian said, “We were able to pick up Mazus’s scent today.”
“Where?”
“Up near Black Hawk Falls.”
“What was he doing over there?”
“No idea. We weren’t sure how fresh the scent was, but it was enough to track him down the mountain.”
“Where did the trail end?”
“Near the cave Ryker likes to use. We checked it, but didn’t find any evidence that he’d been there recently.”
“Okay. Who’s on patrol tonight?”
“Edon and Fadian along with the rest of the night crew.”
“We have to find him.” He glanced at Gwen who was pretending to ignore the conversation, but he knew she was hanging on every word.
Lucian said, “We will. It’s only a matter of time before he comes out of hiding. I’ve sent men out to Ryker’s pack to warn them.”
“What about Kyran’s pack out at Phantom Lake?”
“Tate’s on his way to warn him right now.”
“Good work. You’ve done everything you could. Like you said, we just have to wait.”
Gwen grumbled, “I hate waiting.”
“Me too, but we have no choice. We can’t send more than a handful of men out at any given point in time. We need to be able to defend the den,” Nosh said.
“I know. I just hate feeling so helpless.”
Lucian said, “Nosh won’t let Mazus get within a thousand feet of you. As long as you’re with him, you’re safe.”
Gwen gave Nosh a look of such trust that it broke his heart. He needed to work harder to convince her that she wasn’t defenseless. He wouldn’t be around forever to protect her from harm.
Lucian said, “I need to get back to my post. Have a good night.”
“You too,” Nosh and Gwen said at the same time.
Gwen smiled softly. “I’m tired.”
“Come on.”
When she looped her hand around his arm, he swallowed back the need to pull her into a sensual embrace. He didn’t know how he could lay by her side tonight and not die from wanting her. He’d have to count backward from ten thousand to occupy his mind.
He pushed back the curtain to his room. “Home sweet home.”
“I’ll start the stew.”
He walked to the bed and shook out the blankets. He couldn’t help but notice that they’d fallen into a domestic routine over the last few days. At some point, he’d need to find a mate. The other wolves had always said that he’d know without question when he’d met his perfect mate. But, he hadn’t had that lightning bolt of awareness course through his veins yet. Maybe it wasn’t Gwen.
As he sat next to her by the fire, he gazed at her out of the corner of his eye. How could it not be her? He still didn’t know very much about her but he wanted to know everything. He already knew about what gave her nightmares, but he also wanted to know what made her happy. What made her heart sing? What made her want to leap out of bed in the morning and dance?
She turned to him. “You’re staring.”
“Just admiring.”
She dipped her head and smiled slightly. “I had a great day today.”
“Me too.”
“Are we going running again tomorrow?”
“Yep, and every day until you can do it without losing your breath.”
She laughed. “You’re going to run me to death.”
“No, just whipping you into shape.”
She frowned and returned her gaze to the fire.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I’m so out of shape. I really let myself go over the last year.”
He caressed her shoulder. “I think you look beautiful.”
“I’m a roly poly.”
“A what?”
“You know those little bugs that curl up into a ball when you touch them.”
He laughed. “Oh wow. You are not a little bug. Not by a long shot.”
If she was, he wouldn’t be on number ninety-nine again.
She leaned back on her hands. “I used to be pretty, but now…”
He reached behind her to trace the scars on her back. “Are you worried about this?”
“I look like a monster.”
“No, Gwen. You’re beautiful and gentle and kind—”
“—and hideous. No man will ever want me to be his mate.”
Not true. He held his tongue for a moment so he wouldn’t blurt out anything that he couldn’t take back. “You’ll find someone to love.”
“I don’t think so.” The fire cracked and hissed as seconds turned into minutes. Finally she said, “What about you?”
“Me?” What was she asking?
“Why don’t you have a mate?”
“I guess I haven’t found someone who blows me away.”
“You probably want a perfect woman.”
He detected hurt in her tone. “No. I just want someone who can love me and give me lots of little pups.”
She tensed up and angled her body away from him. She tried to cover the movement by stirring the stew, but he’d caught it. Rather than comment on it and make an already awkward conversation worse, he changed the subject.
“That smells amazing.” His stomach grumbled. He’d worked up a hell of an appetite for more than just food today, but he’d settle for something warm in his belly.
She scooped a huge portion into a bowl and handed it to him. She took a smaller portion for herself. Although she poked at the food, she didn’t eat much.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m not very hungry.”
“Do you want to talk about whatever’s stolen your appetite?”
Her voice wavered. “I’m just afraid that all the training in the world isn’t going to help me.”
He set his bowl down and reached for her. She leaned into his arms and let him hold her.
“We’ll keep practicing until it becomes muscle memory. Then you won’t have to think if you’re attacked. You’ll just react.”
“I need to tell you something.”
He took a breath then let it out slowly. He had no idea where this was headed but it wasn’t someplace good. “You can tell me anything.”
“When Zane attacked me, I did fight. I hit and punched and kicked with every ounce of strength in my body, but it wasn’t enough. When I realized that I couldn’t win, I just stopped fighting… And I’ve stopped fighting ever since.”
He tightened his arms around her and rocke
d her as she cried. As the last tear-soaked sob left her lips, he whispered, “But you fought today.”
Chapter 11
Gwen heard a familiar voice traveling down the hall. She jumped out of bed and shook Nosh awake. “Stryde and Brandy are here. Get up.”
He rolled toward her. “Are you sure?”
She grabbed a handful of water from a nearby bucket and splashed him with it. “Hurry up. They might have news about Diana and her baby.”
Nosh snarled as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. They’d been up talking half the night, so he was probably still really tired. Gwen stifled a yawn. Maybe he’d hold off on more training today and they could take a nap instead.
A soft knock sounded on the wall outside the door. As Gwen hobbled to the door, her muscles tightened in protest. Yesterday’s run had strained muscles she didn’t even know she had. They’d definitely have to rest today.
Stryde and Brandy strolled into the room, hand in hand. Gwen smiled. After everything they’d been through, she was glad to see them so happy.
“Well? How’s Diana?” Gwen asked.
Brandy smiled. “She’s doing great. She had the baby yesterday. It’s a girl. They named her Abby.
Gwen’s heart filled with love and broke in the same moment. She’d always wanted to have a family, but now, she wasn’t even sure if she could have kids. “I’m glad she’s doing well. Ryker must be so happy.”
Nosh said, “A happy family makes a happy man.”
Gwen’s shoulders fell. Even if she was able to find someone who could love her, she probably wouldn’t be able to give him the family he’d want. Akila had warned her that the attack may have destroyed her ability to have children. But she wouldn’t know for sure until she tried. With her luck, she was probably barren. What wolf would want a barren mate? She glanced at Nosh. He certainly wouldn’t.
Nosh walked over to Stryde and slapped him on the back. “You guys working on a pup yet?”
“Nosh!” Gwen chided.
“What? Stryde’s had his mate holed up in their new house for a couple of months now. I just figured they might have tried to start a family.”
“Trying…” Stryde air quoted, “…is the best part.”
Brandy blushed. “You guys are terrible.”
“But it’s true,” Stryde said as he wrapped an arm around his mate’s waist.
Brandy said, “Anyway, we came to bring the news, but we heard things have been interesting here too.”
Nosh reached for Gwen’s hand. He used it to draw her closer. “We’re still looking for Mazus.”
Stryde said, “We sent a group of wolves out to scout our territory. As far as we can tell, he hasn’t breeched the perimeter.”
“I hope we find him soon,” Gwen said.
A shiver of dread snaked down her spine every time she thought of Mazus’s deadly gaze. Although she hadn’t said anything to Nosh, there was no way she was leaving his side until they caught Mazus.
Brandy said, “The forest is big, but he can’t hide forever.”
Nosh nodded in agreement.
Brandy said, “Well, we didn’t just come to tell you about the baby. The Silver Creek Pack’s having a celebration in honor of Abby’s birth. Ryker asked us to come and extend an invitation.”
“When will it be held?” Gwen asked.
“Tomorrow. We’re sorry about the short notice, but Ryker didn’t want to wait.”
Nosh said, “Hell, I wouldn’t wait either. I’ll probably be a screaming fool when my mate has a baby.”
Brandy’s head whipped around to Gwen. She gave her a questioning look. Gwen shook her head slightly to let her know that she wasn’t Nosh’s mate. The men were oblivious to the brief exchange.
Gwen looked away. She couldn’t meet Brandy’s eyes for fear that the other woman would see right through her. The more time she spent with Nosh, the more she wondered if something was developing between them.
Nosh said, “We’d love to come. I think we need a few days away from here to relax. What do you think?”
“Uh, sure. That sounds good,” Gwen stammered.
Great. Now she’d have to be around a cute, cooing baby. It would be like getting salt rubbed into an already festering wound. She didn’t begrudge Diana’s happiness at all, she just didn’t want the constant reminder that she was a failure as a woman.
Brandy said, “Pack a few things and let’s get on the road. It’s not very far, but we should leave soon.”
Nosh said, “Sure. Can you give us a few minutes?”
Stryde said, “Absolutely. I wanted to talk with Lucian and some of the other guys. I hate to admit it, but I do miss the pack. They’re in good hands though. You’ve done a great job as alpha.”
“Thanks.”
After Stryde and Brandy left, Nosh turned to Gwen. “You’re okay with us going, right?”
“Of course,” she said with more bravado than she felt.
“You just seem… hesitant.”
She sighed. “I’m just tired.”
“We can rest when we get there. I’m sure they don’t expect us to make the trip and come back in the same day. You could show me your room,” he said with a hint of playfulness.
She smiled coyly. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
He moved to wrap his arms around her. “I would.”
She tilted her head up. When their lips met, she sighed and leaned against him. The magnetic attraction grew with each passing second. She should pull away and steel her heart against him, but he made her feel things she never thought she’d feel again. As tendrils of desire unfurled from her core, heat radiated through her body.
His lips traveled from the edge of her mouth along her jaw and down her throat. She threw back her head to expose her neck to him. A wet trail of kisses marked his sensual path of seduction. The sensation of falling pushed her heart down through her belly.
She gasped when his tongue darted out to lick the edge of her collarbone. “Nosh.”
“Mmm…”
“We should pack.”
He kissed her shoulder then her neck before returning to plant a searing kiss on her lips. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Maybe it’s all the talk of babies.”
His comment had the chilling effect of an avalanche of snow. She pushed away from him. “I’ll get my things.”
He grabbed her wrist and she instantly rolled her arm around and jabbed his chest with her elbow. Surprised, she quickly released him and stepped back. He stood dumbfounded for a moment before a huge grin spread across his face.
“You did it.”
She blinked. Oh, wow. She’d acted completely on instinct. Granted, he wasn’t a hulking attacker bent on ripping her apart, but still…
Nosh gathered her into his arms. “I’m so proud of you.”
She was too stunned to resist.
Nosh released her. “I have so much more that I want to teach you. We’ll get some rest tonight and go to the celebration tomorrow. After that, I want you up at sunrise for more training.”
Pride blossomed in her chest. She’d done it. She’d fought back for the first time in her life. As they packed and started down the trail, there was a spring in her step that she hadn’t had for months. Nosh was right, there was hope for her.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She’d spent so much time fearing the future, but for what? Maybe it was time to think about the good things that could happen in her life instead of dwelling on the bad.
Nosh was solidly on the good side of the equation, but their relationship confused her. If they were truly just friends, they sure kissed a lot. She wanted to ask him how he felt about her but was afraid of ruining their friendship. He had so much that he wanted to teach her and she needed to learn how to protect herself. She didn’t want to do anything to mess it up. It would be best if she kept her feelings to herself. But that wouldn’t stop her from savoring his warm, wet kisses.
***
Nosh cou
ldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Gwen’s perfectly executed maneuver made his heart sing. He hadn’t doubted for a second that she could learn self-defense, anyone could with the right training. But he hadn’t expected her to react on instinct so quickly.
He also hadn’t expected to like kissing her so much. Last night, he hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours. They’d talked until she’d fallen asleep in his arms. There hadn’t been a single inch of him that wasn’t completely awake at the point. He’d tired not to toss and turn, but her proximity drove him crazy. Even now, he wanted to lace his fingers through her hair and kiss her until she was breathless.
He glanced up at Stryde and Brandy. He hadn’t realized how much he’d longed for a mate until he saw how happy they were together. As alpha, he should have begun the process of selecting a mate as soon as he took over. But he hadn’t found anyone that he wanted more than a few nights. There wasn’t a single woman in his den who could captivate him the way Gwen did.
As the trail down the mountain narrowed, he ushered her in front of him. He liked being able to keep an eye on her. Although Mazus hadn’t ventured into the Silver Creek Pack’s territory, Nosh couldn’t let down his guard. Mazus could be anywhere. He could be watching them right now.
After crossing the river, Stryde pointed toward the log cabin he’d spent a month constructing for his new mate. Normally the wolves didn’t build houses and live alone from their pack, but Stryde wasn’t the typical wolf. He’d stepped down as alpha so that he could build a life with the human he’d taken as a mate. Nosh had wondered what it would take for him to do something so extreme, but now he knew. He’d do anything to keep Gwen happy.
As they toured the house, Stryde pointed out the natural insulation he’d installed while Brandy showed Gwen the bedroom.
“You have a lot of privacy here,” Nosh said.
“I don’t think Brandy’s comfortable making love when there are other wolves around. She wasn’t exactly excited by the lack of sound proofing in the den.”
“Humans are so funny about their hang ups. It makes more sense to live in a group. You get added protection and security. And, you can work as a group to get stuff done like hunting and fishing.”
