by Jason Ayres
“Good, well, all I can say is enjoy,” replied Kay. “I’ve got some big plans lined up for today. And now I must get on, but before you go, there is one thing I need to ask.”
“Ask away,” replied her younger image.
“If I’m not here tomorrow, can you come and find me? By that I mean not in this flat, but somewhere else. I will make sure I am somewhere where there is a mirror.”
“That’s not a problem,” said the angel. “I will see you then.”
Left alone, Kay considered her options. She was due in work at 9am but took an executive decision to give it a miss. This was a risk. If her plans did not come to fruition, she could find herself worse off than before. Failing to turn up at work on a busy Christmas Eve was highly likely to be a sackable offence.
No matter, she would have to take the gamble. There was no way she was waiting another day, not with McVie threatening to cut her electricity off. She also needed to act while the information was as fresh as possible in her mind. It might be a good idea if she got as much of it down on paper now as she could, as even a few hours could make all the difference.
She rummaged in her bag, looking for a pen and something to write on. Finding a pen wasn’t a problem, but she ended up having to tear open an empty cigarette packet so she could write on the inside.
She prayed her memory wouldn’t let her down. Thankfully it seemed that the repetitive action of writing down the numbers twenty times had worked. She was reasonably confident she had got the account number, sort code, and the dates the money had been transferred correct. This would surely be enough. Anything else she could remember on top of that would be a bonus.
She checked her phone next, ensuring she had the home number of Alan’s boss, Nigel. Kay and Alan had had dinner with him and his wife a few times, requiring Kay to speak with her a few times to make the arrangements. She might need that number later, as it formed part of the slightly altered plan she had formed the previous afternoon.
While she had been enjoying her massage in the hotel, Kay had thought in great detail about how best to utilise the information she had found. Her initial plan had been to replicate what she had done before and just transfer the money out of his account and into hers. However, the more she thought about this, the more she realised it wasn’t a very realistic or sensible option.
Firstly, she had to be in the house to do it, as she couldn’t access the account without the passcode key he kept in his desk. And she couldn’t get in the house easily due to the changed locks. Potentially she could break in, it was still her house after all, but even if she managed to do all that undetected, then there was another pitfall.
The money had clearly been fraudulently obtained, so transferring it all into her account was a bad idea. If Alan’s crimes were later exposed, she would look just as guilty as him. The money would be confiscated at the very least and in a worst-case scenario she could end up in prison. There was no way she was risking doing time for his crimes. Clearly, she couldn’t touch a penny of his dirty money.
Shelving that idea, she soon began to formulate an alternative plan. It was audacious, but her successes to date had left her brimful of confidence.
With a clear battle plan in place, she got ready quickly and headed out. Before she did so, she took the time to phone work to tell them she wasn’t coming in, claiming she had the flu. She was pretty sure they didn’t believe her, but she had to go through the motions, just in case today didn’t work out.
If all went well, it wouldn’t matter. She wouldn’t need the job any longer and she still had her pay for the current month to come. Most of her wages would have gone to McVie for the rent she already owed and next month’s, but she had no intention whatsoever of giving him a penny of it. She wouldn’t be living there any longer after today.
She walked briskly in the frosty air, taking a detour to avoid the town centre. As an added precaution, she put her hood up. She didn’t want to be seen by anyone from work, as they would be bound to grass her up.
It had been several months since she had last visited her marital home and when she arrived she was dismayed to see the state of the garden. Her well-kept front lawn was scruffy and unkempt. The borders were messy and full of weeds. It was obvious no one had bothered with it since Kay had left.
There were two cars on the drive: Alan’s company Mercedes, which she recognised, and a red Toyota which she didn’t. Presumably that belonged to Lucy. That meant they were probably both in, which pleased Kay. She would get double the satisfaction from dropping her bombshell on both of them at the same time.
She walked up the path to the front door and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, Lucy answered with a thick, navy dressing gown wrapped around her, ginger curls cascading around her shoulders. She was taken aback to see Kay and momentarily lost for words.
“Is Alan in, please?” asked Kay, seizing the initiative.
“Alan!” yelled Lucy. “It’s for you.”
“Who is it?” called Alan, from the kitchen, over the sound of the radio.
“You’d better come and see,” called Lucy, throwing a dirty look at their visitor. “Wait here,” she said to Kay, closing the door behind her.
Lucy had looked somewhat uncomfortable, Kay thought. Good. Kay was probably the last person she had expected to see. You could never underestimate the element of surprise. On the few occasions the two of them had crossed paths previously, Lucy had been quite vile towards her. This morning, caught off guard, perhaps she would be vulnerable.
The door opened and Alan appeared, wearing a dressing gown that matched Lucy’s. Unsurprisingly, he looked none too pleased to see her.
“What are you doing here, Kay?” he snapped. “I told you to stay away.”
“Season’s greetings to you, too,” said Kay, breezily. “I’m here because we have some things to discuss. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“No, I’m bloody not,” he replied. “Anything you want to say to me, you can say through my solicitor. Now if you don’t mind, it’s Christmas Eve and Lucy and I have got plans. Good day.”
He went to close the door, but before he could, Kay said, “Just let me say five words, and if you don’t want to hear what I’ve got to say after you’ve heard them, I’ll go.”
“Go on, then, five words,” said Alan. “And then you can clear off.”
“Zurich Tiger Swiss bank account,” said Kay, taking her time over the words, emphasising each one in turn.
She watched, delighted, as the colour drained from his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blustered.
“Oh I think you do. I know all about it,” said Kay. “I suppose you thought you were being clever, hiding it from me. Didn’t you?”
“If such an account does exist, it’s my money,” he said defensively. “I earned it fair and square. So don’t even think about trying to get a cut in the divorce settlement.”
“Fair and square, eh?” asked Kay. “You know I don’t think it’s just me that you’ve been hiding this account from, because I know where that money came from. Remember that deal you struck with that major vineyard in France? I know all about it. I think you’ve been a bit of a naughty boy, haven’t you?”
Kay was enjoying this immensely.
“Now, are you sure you don’t want to invite me in?” she added. “Is that coffee I can smell on the go?”
“Whatever you think you know it’s all above board,” he said, clearly floundering with a look of guilt written all over his face. “You’ve got nothing on me.”
“Well, if that’s the case, you won’t mind me ringing Nigel to confirm that,” she said, holding up her mobile phone. “Look, I’ve got his number on my phone right here.”
She went as if to dial, but before she pressed the button he hurriedly said, “No, don’t do that. You’d better come in and we can talk about it.”
“That’s better,” said Kay.
He looked terrified, like a n
aughty schoolboy, caught red-handed and sent to the headmaster for punishment. And so he should. Kay now had him exactly where she wanted him.
He led her through to the kitchen, where the coffee pot was brewing and the radio was playing “Fairytale of New York”. The place looked the picture of domestic bliss. At least she keeps the house tidier than the garden, thought Kay.
Having got over her initial element of surprise, Lucy was returning to her normal bitchy self, a look of utter contempt on her face as she saw Kay enter the room.
“What have you let this old slapper in for?” she said to Alan. “I don’t want her in here, spoiling our Christmas.”
Looking Kay straight in the eye, she added, “Sorry, love, it’s Christmas Eve and there’s no room at the inn.” She looked pleased as pie with this remark, smirking at Kay from her cruel little face.
“Shut up a minute, Lucy,” said Alan, moving over to join her. “This is serious.”
Kay couldn’t help but smile, looking at the two of them in their matching his and hers towelling robes. Her smile didn’t go unnoticed by Lucy.
“Oh my God, look at her teeth!” exclaimed Lucy, who hadn’t seen Kay since the incident that had caused their unfortunate removal. “You skanky cow!”
Kay didn’t mind the insult. It would just make what she was going to deliver in return that much sweeter.
“Little girl, you should listen to your sugar daddy here and shut up,” replied Kay. “Not that there is going to be much sugar coming your way in the near future, I fear.”
Lucy was silent in response, but fixed Kay with an evil glare.
“Come on, then, out with it,” said Alan. “Let’s get this over with. What do you want?”
“Well, as I said at the door, I know all about your secret Swiss bank account.”
“So you say,” said Alan, “but you could be bluffing for all I know. If you think you’ve got something on me, then let’s see the evidence.”
“Oh I’ve got plenty,” said Kay. “Let me spell out the details.”
And she did just that, giving him the account number, sort code, and the dates and amounts of the transactions.
“And just in case you were wondering, I have copies of all the documents safely tucked away,” she said. This was a lie, but he had no way of knowing that. “I’m quite sure that Nigel would be very interested to see them, what with all the rumours going around about financial irregularities. Don’t you agree, Lucy? You do work in the accounts department, after all.”
It was clear from the guilty look on Lucy’s face that she knew all about this. It was as she had suspected all along. The two of them were in it together up to their necks.
“Then there are the police, of course. I’m sure they’d be very interested to hear about all of this.”
“You fucking idiot!” shouted Lucy, straight at Alan with a look of fury on her face. “You said you’d covered your tracks. How did she find out about this?”
“Yes, how did you find out, Kay?” asked Alan.
“How I found out isn’t important,” replied Kay. “It’s the fact that I have found out is what you should be worrying about. And more importantly, what I am going to do about it.”
“If you were going to tell the police about this, you already would have,” surmised Alan, correctly. “So what are you after – some of the spoils? How about we cut you in?”
“What the fuck?” exclaimed Lucy. “We’re not giving this toothless hag any of our money!”
“Do you want to go to prison?” said Alan to Lucy. “Because that’s what we could be looking at here. Now just shut up and let me deal with this.”
Seeing the two of them turn on each other added nicely to Kay’s sense of satisfaction at how well events were proceeding.
Turning back to Kay, Alan asked. “So, how much do you want to keep quiet? Fifty grand? Will that make this all go away?”
“Fifty grand!” exclaimed Lucy. “She’ll only waste it on booze and fags. Look at the state of her. What about that Caribbean cruise you promised me?”
“For the last time, Lucy, shut up!” shouted Alan. “And turn that fucking radio off.”
Slade had begun belting out their Christmas classic, which was completely inappropriate for the moment. Shocked at being shouted at by Alan like that, Lucy complied and switched it off.
“I don’t want your dirty money, Alan,” said Kay. “You can keep it. If I touch that I’ll be as tainted as you are.”
“So what do you want, then?” he asked.
“I want a clean and quick divorce. And I want this house and everything in it, furniture and all. I did buy most of it in the first place, after all. It’ll be easy enough to arrange. We’ve no mortgage and no other complications. You just sign it over to me, and I’ll make sure all the evidence of your fraudulent behaviour is destroyed.”
“You must be joking,” he said. “This house has got to be worth about 400 grand.”
“Well, the last time I looked, you had the best part of that in your dodgy account, so I am sure you won’t go hungry.”
“You can’t expect me to up sticks and leave just like that,” he protested.
“Oh I can,” said Kay. “I’ve got you over a barrel and I can do exactly what I want.” She walked over to the fridge and opened the door. It was stacked with festive goodies, the highlight being a large turkey crown from M&S.
“That turkey looks lovely,” she said appreciatively. “I think I’m really going to enjoy that tomorrow,” she said.
“You must be joking,” said Lucy. “You’re not having Christmas dinner here.”
“I think you’ll find it’s you that won’t be here,” replied Kay. “What was it you said to me earlier? No room at the inn? Well, there’s no room at the inn here for you – either of you. You can pack your bags this morning and leave. I said I wanted everything in the house. Well, that includes the food in the fridge as well.”
“Haven’t you forgotten something?” asked Alan. “What about Maddie? She’s driving down from Durham today for Christmas.”
“I’m glad you mentioned Maddie, because that’s another thing,” said Kay. “I’m disgusted with the way you’ve poisoned her mind against me. So you are going to speak to her today and put that right. You are going to tell her I’m not the bad mother you made me out to be and that everything you said to her was fabricated out of spite. I fully expect her to be here tonight and for things to be right between us. If you do that, then I will be happy to add her to the list of people that I am not going to tell about your fraudulent behaviour.”
“How are you going to explain to her that you’ve kicked us out on Christmas Eve?” asked Alan. “That’s not going to look very good, is it?”
“Oh that’s simple enough,” replied Kay. “You’re going to do it for me. You just need to tell her that you and Lucy have decided to go away for Christmas and now that the divorce is going through, you’ve decided to give me back the house as part of the deal. Just make sure it sounds convincing, because don’t forget, I’ve got Nigel’s number on speed-dial.”
“Alan, you’re not really going to let her do this to us, are you?” asked Lucy. “She can’t throw us out like this, can she?”
“I think you’ll find she can,” said Alan, resignedly.
“But where are we going to go?” replied Lucy, barely able to grasp the reality of the situation.
“Well, I’ve got a lovely little flat in town you can have,” said Kay, barely able to conceal her giggles. “It’s got all mod cons, en suite bathroom, the lot. It even has its own in-house restaurant. I recommend the three-day-old fish cakes – a house speciality. And the landlord is a lovely chap, like a real-life Father Christmas.”
“It’ll be OK, Lucy, we’ll get a hotel for tonight,” said Alan, ignoring Kay’s sarcasm.
“But what about all our stuff?” asked Lucy, looking distraught. Sure enough, she began to cry.
Kay nearly felt sorry for her at that point but willed herself
to be strong, remembering how nasty Lucy had been to her when the boot was on the other foot. She had reaped what she had sown.
“You can take all your clothes and personal effects today,” said Kay. “As for anything else, you can come back after he’s signed over the house to me. But everything that was in here before I moved out stays – furniture, TV, you name it. And I’m having that turkey. It won’t be any good to you in a hotel, will it? Now I suggest you go and get dressed and start packing, while I make myself a nice cup of coffee with my coffee machine.”
She had missed her Tassimo machine. It would make a nice change from the budget brand of instant coffee she had been reduced to drinking in her flat.
“You’ve not heard the last of this!” shouted Lucy at her, as she got up and headed out of the kitchen.
“Oh I think I have!” shouted Kay after her. “Now what was the number of the police again? Ah yes, 999, that was it.”
Alan lingered in the kitchen a while longer after Lucy had headed off up the stairs.
“Kay, it doesn’t have to be like this. Maybe we can work something out. I do miss you, you know.” He walked over towards her, a conciliatory look in his eye. To her horror she realised he was about to try and put his arms around her.
“Get away from me,” she said. “You miss your money is what you mean. Just be thankful you’ve still got your job and your secret stash of ill-gotten cash. This could have turned out a hell of a lot worse for you. And let me make one thing clear – you and me are finished – full stop. Now I suggest you salvage what dignity you have left and go upstairs and patch things up with her – that’s if she still wants you. She looks like a bit of a gold-digger to me.”
With a look of total defeat on his face, he turned about heel and followed Lucy up the stairs, while Kay sipped her coffee in triumph. Had she done enough? Should she have pushed for more? No, the house and getting her daughter back would more than suffice. She wouldn’t be rolling in money, but her wages were due in and hopefully she would still have her job. With no rent or mortgage to pay, she should be able to manage, even on minimum wage.
