by Nicole Fox
I swallow. I didn’t know anyone knew about that. I didn’t even tell Sevastian. When I first introduced the idea to my father, he called it weakness. He said a real man would make sure his family was protected in case of his death. Therefore, it wasn’t our responsibility to care for the families.
I didn’t agree. So, I worked the money into the budget in small ways, ensuring the money came from places where no one would notice or question it.
I’ve been doing it that way for years.
“They’re part of the family, too,” I say simply. “Their children don’t deserve to starve.”
Suddenly, Courtney’s mouth is on mine, warm and soft. Her kiss goes from gentle to heated in a second, and I wrap my arm around her waist, drawing her against me.
Her dancer’s body is toned and limber, and I’m already thinking of all the things I’m going to do to her when she pulls away, breathless.
“I don’t deserve you.” Her words are so quiet I can barely hear them. She says it again. “I don’t deserve you.”
I grab her chin and lift her face to mine, forcing her to look into my eyes. “You’re more than worthy of every good thing.”
I can see in her face that she doesn’t believe me, and I wonder how many years it will take me to convince Courtney that she doesn’t have to earn my love. That she doesn’t have to earn anyone’s love.
She’s already deserving.
“You make me feel like a better man, Courtney. You make me feel like I can be a father to Tatiana. Your fire and determination and kindness inspire me to lead the way I always wanted to, instead of the way my father dictated. You make me a better person and if that isn’t deserving of love and protection, then I don’t know what is.”
Her eyes are glassy, tears beginning to spill over onto her cheeks, and I lean forward and kiss the trails away.
When my lips work their way back to her mouth, she’s pliant and eager. After a few minutes, she grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs. Despite the little sleep we got the night before, Courtney and I don’t even make it to the bed before we’re naked and devouring one another.
Then, I carry her to the shower where I lather her up only to get her dirty again.
When I lay her down in bed in the early hours of the morning, she’s weary, but she draws me over her and takes me in again, sheltering me in the warmth of her body and the love of her heart.
I’m not sure how we’ll ever get a good night’s sleep again.
Before the sun is even up, there’s another knock on our bedroom door. Moments later, the weight of an excited seven-year-old crashes over us.
When I open my eyes enough to look at her, Tati is wide-eyed and frantic, signing the same thing over and over again: It’s Christmas! Today is Christmas!
I kiss Courtney and hold her hand as we follow Tati down the stairs to celebrate our first Christmas together as a family.
30
Courtney
18 months later
The sand is warm, and I stretch out across it languidly.
The last year has been one of the busiest of my life. Between having a baby, going to school, and starting my own dance studio, I’ve never been pulled in so many directions before.
I’ve also never been happier.
Dmitry, of course, insists that I don’t need to work. Olivia is still only nine months old and Tati is nearing nine, meaning she has more and more questions about what happened to her parents and some of her memories from the accident have begun to surface. Our kids need me, and he’s more than happy to provide for all of us.
But the dancing isn’t about money; it’s about me.
Having an hour a few days a week where I can turn my mom brain off and focus on my body, my health, my happiness—it’s priceless. And Dmitry supports it every step of the way.
I teach a few kids—Tati included—for a few sessions every week in the dance study Dmitry had installed for me. We put on performances for the parents and, one day, when I’m out of school, maybe, I’ll have time for more classes and be a proper dance studio. We could even enter competitions.
That’s a distant dream, though. Right now, I want to focus on my kids and Dmitry.
Just as the thought crosses my mind, a plastic shovel whacks me in the side of the head.
“Ouch.” I sit up and Tati has her hand over her mouth, hiding a laugh.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. She points to Olivia, who has crawled over to the beach bag and is squirting sunscreen all over the sand.
I jump up and drag her away from the bag, kicking and screaming. I had a solid three minutes of relaxing, which is more than I usually get at the beach when I’m alone with the girls.
When Dmitry comes on our little field trips with us, he likes to run with Tati in the surf and hoists Olivia onto his shoulders. More importantly for my entertainment, he walks around with no shirt on, allowing me to lie back and admire his muscles which ripple almost as much as the ocean.
He’s busy today, though. He has been for weeks.
I don’t begrudge him his work, but I miss him. The lease agreement he had with Akio and his Yakuza ended six months ago, and they have been fighting over the stash houses ever since.
Dmitry managed to reclaim two of them, but the third is more deeply in contested territory, and he’s having a hard time negotiating it back, which has led to a lot of late nights for him.
I just pray it will be resolved before he winds up in another bloody feud. I don’t want Dmitry to miss a second of Olivia’s childhood. She’s too precious and growing way too fast.
He’s trying to cut back on the illegal dealings. He and Pasha have been moving towards starting a legitimate import/export business to bring in money and disentangle the Bratva from some of their seedier business ventures. I know he’s doing it for me, and I appreciate it.
Still, I miss him.
Where is Daddy? Tati asks, raising a hand to her forehead and squinting up at the house.
No one told her to call Dmitry ‘Daddy.’ She made the choice on her own. Every time she says it, my heart melts a little.
Working, but he’ll be home tonight.
She frowns, and I pinch her cheek. Are you ready to go inside and get a snack? I’m hungry.
Her eyes widen. Ice-cream cones? I want the one with caramel in the middle.
I wrinkle my nose like I’m thinking, but when Tati presses her hands together in a plea, lower lip pouted out, she knows I’m putty in her hands. I relent and gather up Olivia and the towel while she runs up the hill to the back deck of the house.
I’m too busy brushing sand from Olivia’s chubby thighs to notice the figure standing just inside the sliding glass door until I’m on the deck.
Tati is wrapped around his legs, leaving wet stains on pants and sand all over the floor, but Dmitry just kisses the top of her head and sends her into the kitchen. When he turns and sees me, his face splits into a smile.
At home, he turns into my Dmitry.
Not the Bratva leader or the boss. My boyfriend. My partner. The man I love.
It’s the smile he reserves only for me, and it makes me weak in the knees every time I see it.
“Tati insisted you told her she could have an ice-cream cone for a snack,” he says, taking Olivia from me and kissing her cheek.
“She gave me the puppy-dog eyes.”
He smiles and shakes his head. “You never stood a chance.”
“What are you doing home early?” I ask, slipping out of my sandals and wrapping my towel around my waist.
Dmitry grabs the towel and throws it on the ground, raising sexy eyebrows at me in my bathing suit.
My body has changed since having Olivia, but a healthy diet and regular dance classes have helped me feel more confident. Dmitry’s obvious appreciation of my post-baby body also makes it easier to feel sexy.
“Courtney?” I hear my dad’s voice coming from the front hall, and I frown.
“I didn’t know my dad was coming b
y today.” I reach down and wrap the towel around myself again, swatting away Dmitry’s hand when he playfully tries to disrobe me again.
Dmitry shrugs like he had no idea either.
“Back here, Dad.”
As soon as he walks into the room, Tati is jumping into his arms.
He grimaces at her wet bathing suit, sand-covered legs, and ice-cream covered face for only a second before gladly accepting her hug and kissing her temple.
Missed you, he signs with one hand.
Sign language hasn’t come as easily to him, but he’s trying really hard, and Tati doesn’t mind.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
Like Dmitry, my father is strangely evasive. He mumbles something about it not being a crime to come visit his grandkids on a Saturday and then allows himself to be dragged back to the playroom by Tati.
“We won’t see him for a while,” Dmitry jokes. “Tati will have him hostage back there for hours.”
He once again kisses Olivia and then turns, handing her off to the nanny who has been waiting suspiciously in the wings.
“What is going on?” I narrow my eyes and do my best to make a serious face, but as soon as the nanny is gone with Olivia, Dmitry yanks my towel off with one smooth pull and slides his arms around my waist.
“My father is here,” I whisper as he kisses me.
Dmitry trails his kisses across my jaw and down my neck. “He’ll be occupied for hours, remember?”
“That does not mean I want to have sex with you in our living room,” I hiss, eyes fluttering closed as he bites my collarbone.
“Then let’s go out to the deck,” he says, pulling the door open and pushing me outside, never once taking his hands off my body.
I stumble back and cling to him so I won’t trip. “So our neighbors can watch us. Good idea.”
A low laugh rumbles through him, and I feel the vibrations in all the right places. “It will be the best show they’ve ever seen.”
With every press of his lips on my skin and every caress of his hands, my head is getting more and more fuzzy. If I let him continue, I really will strip down and let him do unspeakable things to me in full view of everyone else on the beach.
With every ounce of self-restraint in my body, I push him away.
“I wasn’t really going to take you out here.” Dmitry gives me a wicked smile. “Unless you wanted to, of course.”
I want to, I sign, not trusting my voice. I clear my throat. “You are dangerous.”
He winks at me and then reaches for my hand, walking me towards the low glass railing that looks out over the beach and the water.
“You’re home early,” I say, stating the obvious. “Is it good news or bad news?”
“Good news.”
“Did you take care of everything with Akio?” I ask hopefully.
He gives me a small smile and nods. “I think so. He gave me the third house.”
“He gave it to you?” I ask. “No questions asked?”
Dmitry shrugs. “He was tired of fighting, and I have more men than he does. I kept things fair, though.”
After six months of back and forth fighting, it’s hard to imagine it could end so easily, but I’m so relieved Dmitry will be around more that I don’t say anything.
“I don’t want to talk about that, though,” Dmitry says, mirroring my exact thoughts. He twines his fingers through mine and pulls me closer to him.
I feel naked in my swimsuit since he’s still in his work clothes. His jeans are dark, resting low on his hips, and his black shirt is tight in all the right places. It isn’t a seasonally appropriate outfit, but I’m not about to tell him to change. He looks yummy.
I lay my palms gently on his chest and sigh, content just to be close to him. “This is nice.”
He smiles. “How nice?”
“Really nice?” I say with a shrug. Dmitry answers with a soft roll of his hips against mine, and I hold up a finger to stop him. “Not that nice. I told you, I’m not giving our neighbors a free show.”
He laughs and bends down to nip at my lower lip. “I’m sure we could arrange a payment system. It could be like pay-per-view. We’ll advertise and gauge what the interest is. It could be another good side business for us both.”
“It would certainly allow us to spend more time together,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Dmitry nuzzles his stubble against my cheek, and I wrap my arms around his neck and bite his earlobe. “But I don’t think they can afford us.”
He growls and pulls away to peruse my body, and I suddenly wish I hadn’t awoken the beast. Dmitry can make me drop my underwear with his normal ocean-blue eyes. So, his sex eyes are positively panty-melting.
“Later,” I say, looking out towards the water to regain my composure. “Keep thinking what you’re thinking, and we’ll pick this up later.”
He takes a deep breath. “When later?”
“Later,” I shrug. “Whenever you want. We have plenty of time.”
“How much time?” he asks.
I turn to him, brow furrowed. “All the time in the world. What do you mean?”
He rubs his lips together nervously, and suddenly I’m afraid, though I can’t say why.
“Not too long ago, I remember when we only had six months,” he says quietly. “I remember thinking you were going to leave, and I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do.”
“You would have been fine without me,” I say, swatting at him playfully even though my insides are molten. Something is happening, and I’m afraid I’m not ready for it.
Dmitry grabs my hand and brings my fingers to his lips, kissing each fingertip individually until I can’t breathe. “No, I wouldn’t have been. I would not have been fine without you, Courtney.”
I blink up at him, unable to find any words, playful or otherwise.
“You and the girls are the only people I’ve ever thought I couldn’t live without. And that thought scares the shit out of me,” he admits. “The idea that my happiness is so dependent on you being here with me. On you not giving up on me because I’m moody and violent and distant. My happiness hinges on coming home to you every day and lying down next to you every night. My life revolves around seeing the sweet smiles of our girls and knowing that you and I have all the time in the world.”
I smooth a hand over his chest. “My happiness depends on those things, too. Don’t worry. You have me, Dmitry. As long as you want me, you have me.”
Before the words are even out of my mouth, Dmitry pulls away from me. I reach for him until I realize what he’s doing.
He pulls something from his back pocket and drops down to his knee, and my vision goes fuzzy. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and I’m nearly convinced this is a dream. A wonderful, wonderful dream.
“I want you forever, Courtney,” he continues, unable to keep himself from smiling that gorgeous smile he saves just for me. “Will you marry me?”
I grab his face and kiss him, too excited and shaky for words. It’s a long, deep kiss that seems to go on and on. I never want it to end.
Dmitry laughs and pulls away from me. “Is that a yes?”
I kiss him again in case the kiss-to-English translation isn’t perfect.
When he pulls away again, he’s beaming. Actually shining from the inside out.
I nearly forgot about the ring, so when he slips the huge rock on my finger, I gasp. “Yes!”
“Oh, now you answer,” he teases, pulling me against his chest. “Do you like it?”
“I love it.” I lower my hand and look up at him. “I love you.”
He kisses me, and I don’t know how long it lasts, but it ends when the sliding glass door opens and Tati runs out, my dad holding Olivia just behind her.
“Are congratulations in order?” my dad asks.
I nod, tears brimming, and he hoots, bouncing Olivia gently in celebration.
Tati is confused because she thought we were already married, and she’s way more
excited about going back to the beach than opening a bottle of champagne. So, Dmitry and I vow to celebrate properly later when my dad is gone and the girls are asleep.
For now, we’re happy to run in the sand and splash in the ocean with our family.
31
Courtney
Four Months Later
“He’s going to lose his mind when he sees you,” Sadie says, laying my train over my shoulders and adjusting my hair underneath.
She’s pinned half of my hair up into a braid that wraps around the crown of my head and left the other half to tumble down over my shoulder in shampoo-commercial waves.
“I feel like I’m setting the bar too high. I’ll never look this good again,” I say.
“Dmitry would disagree,” Sadie says, raising an eyebrow. “When you take off that dress tonight, it will be the best moment of his entire life.”
I laugh. She’s probably right. Dmitry tried to seriously suggest we just skip the reception and go straight to the honeymoon. He wanted to carry me down the aisle and straight to our bedroom.
He also wanted that to be the honeymoon.
“We can travel as much as you want later,” he said. “I just want you and your body for one uninterrupted week.”
I disagreed only because I thought one uninterrupted week of Dmitry’s naked body would kill me.
“Are you ready?” Sadie asks, standing back. “Because I’m done primping. You are perfect.”
“I think so.” I squeeze my eyes closed and take a deep breath. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”
Sadie gives me a hug and then leaves to track down Devon. He and my dad are on babysitting duty until the wedding starts, and Sadie is desperate to see her boyfriend around children. They’re even taking the girls for one night of the honeymoon to give my dad a break because Sadie wants to see what kind of father Devon would be.
She hasn’t specifically said so, but I know things between them are getting really serious. Devon didn’t make the best first (or second or third) impression on me, but I’m trying to like him more. He’s important to Sadie and seems to make her really happy.
