“What are your terms, Terran,” the Emperor said. He spat the words out. So hard that I got little flecks soda infused alien spit on me. I wiped my face off and gave him a smile.
“The name’s Roy, your Majesty,” I said, “Roy DeHaas. And it’s not so much my terms as everyone else’s. But before we get to terms, I need to talk to my brother. You got one of them fancy space communicators around here?”
Open a line up to Buck…
The Emperor’s brow furrowed even further and he drained the last of his soda and thumped the glass on the table. Hard. The bottle jumped like he’d scared it a little. Little bubbles ran to the top of it in terror.
He reached into his tunic–did the guy have some kind of garage in there?–and took out a flat, rectangular thing that looked an awful lot like a cell phone. He kept his yellow eye fixed on me and tapped out something on the surface of the rectangle.
The roaring rocket engine in the fireplace quieted down to a small cone of blue flame. Above the fire a image came to life. A male Don in a dark green uniform appeared. This one was unscarred. I wondered if it was a sign of dishonor to not have battle scars in the Don culture. I bet the Don in the green uniform was some kind of secretary.
“How may I serve you my Emperor?” the Don asked.
“Give me a far line,” the Emperor said.
“Yes, excellency,” green uniform said.
“Use the Terran code.”
Green uniform’s orange eyes went wide. “Yes Excellency,” he said, “One moment.”
Green uniform did something outside the image. The Emperor stared into the blue flame licking at the bottom of the image.
“Channel open, Excellency,” green uniform said.
He disappeared in a cloud of blue fuzz. Sound crackled and colors flickered through the blue cloud. A trickle of fear buzzed through me. What if Buck didn’t answer? I hadn’t thought this through very well.
Suddenly lightning sparked in the blue cloud and an image started to form. I let out a quiet breath as the familiar features of my dang brother appeared. Buck’s eyes went from the Emperor to me and back again.
“Yo little bro,” Buck said, “How goes it?”
If it would have done me any good, I would have reached through that cloud and put my hands around his neck. How much of this whole thing had he manipulated into happening?
“Been better,” I said, “They don’t have any beer here. Just 7-Up.”
“Probably don’t got any pork rinds, either,” Buck said, “Or cheese burgers.”
“Knock it off, I’m hungry enough as it is,” I said.
Buck nodded his head the Emperor’s way. “See you made buds with his holiness,” he said.
“We’re getting down to a conversation,” I said, “Needed some input from you, though, seeing how this is your game.”
Buck shook his head. “Ain’t no game little brother,” he said, “I’ve got a serious beef and I aim to see it righted. One way or another.”
I glanced at the Emperor. He’d poured himself some more soda pop. Now he sat, stone faced, sipping from his fancy crystal glass. I almost felt sorry for him. Except I remembered all his bragging about stomping out life and blowing up stars and all.
“What you want, Buck?” I said, “And give me something I can actually work with.”
I settled back in the overstuffed chair. This was all feeling more familiar. Me, Buck and a client, negotiating. Buck and the client both making ridiculous demands and me trying to find the middle ground. It was almost like we was back in Buck’s trailer.
“How about they all drop dead?” Buck said.
The Emperor’s fist tightened around his glass. It must have been some really tough stuff. He looked to be gripping it hard enough to make it shatter.
“Now, that’s not really helpful, Buck,” I said, “We already know everyone here would be dead if that’s what you really wanted.”
“Maybe I’m still considering it,” Buck said, “No one’s given me enough reason not to yet.”
The Emperor dude leaned forward. “We will kill your sibling if you threaten us,” he said.
Buck rolled his eyes. “Roy’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”
I bit back a two word reply. Such love. I didn’t believe for a minute that Buck would give up anything he wanted to save me. According to momma, though, I was supposed to put my ass on the line for her precious little baby.
The Emperor eased back in his fluffy chair and took a long swig of 7-Up. His eye was cast down at the floor, his eyebrow hanging over it like a rock cliff that was ready to tumble.
“Buck, you got any specific demands?” I asked.
“An apology would be a good place to start,” Buck said.
I arched an eyebrow the Emperors way. He didn’t react, kept staring at the floor.
“I’m guessing an apology might not be in the offing right away,” I said, “Anything else?”
Buck scratched at his beard, giving us a thoughtful look. “How about they have all their leaders blow their heads off with plasma blasters?”
“Buck, really not helpful,” I said, “You got anything that doesn’t involve death, pain or humiliation?”
Buck tilted his head to the side, looking up for a moment. “Nope, not that I can think of,” he said.
I ran a hand down my face. “Buck, what am I doing here, then?” I asked.
“Beats me. I didn’t ask you to get yourself captured,” Buck said.
I sighed and gave the Emperor a glance. He stared at me. His eye was wide and his mouth hung open. I almost felt sorry for him again.
“Yeah, I know,” I said, “He’s been difficult all his life. Even before you guys plucked him up on his way back from the outhouse. Or maybe it was on the way to the outhouse, he never did say which it was.”
“Your species is insane,” the Emperor said.
“At least we’re not pure evil like you,” Buck said, “I’d be doing the universe a favor by killing every last one of you.”
The Emperor threw his glass at the image. It passed through Buck’s face and clattered against the stone, before landing with a hard thump. But it didn’t break. I bet bars on Earth would pay a pretty penny for unbreakable glasses.
“You cannot destroy us all!” the Emperor shouted, “We are spread throughout the galaxy. You can kill our home world, but that will not end us. We will find you. We will take you and return you to your home world. Then you will watch as it dies. We will fill you makers to extend your life. And we will make you watch the destruction of your world over and over for a thousand thousand years.”
The Emperor ran down and flopped back in his chair. He seemed to be breathing heavy–assuming his lungs were in his chest, like ours.
“I get the feeling the Emperor might be serious,” I said.
Buck’s image rolled its eyes at me again. “He can make all the threats he wants,” he said, “Don’t mean nothing to me.”
I groaned and slumped down in the chair. There wasn’t gonna be no negotiation between these two. What we got was biggest damned pissing contest ever. With the lives of two planets in the middle.
I stood up. “Well boys, I don’t think we’re gonna get anywhere,” I said, “Why don’t we–”
Plasma fire sizzled through the room and blasted the image of Buck. Or tried to. It went right through him and burned the stone fireplace. I dove behind the chair.
“What is the meaning of this!” the Emperor bellowed.
Forty-Three
Boots tromped into the Don Emperor’s private room behind the cavernous great hall. I looked through the legs of the chair I’d dove behind. Black armored feet, about a dozen soldier’s worth came in and surrounded us. The stench of rancid cat food washed over me. Definitely Dons in that armor.
One of the armored soldiers reached down and yanked me to my feet.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” I asked.
The soldier stuck a plasma gun up under my chin. “Shut up
,” he said.
I decided a vow of silence would be smart.
The Emperor tried to get back into his tank thing, but the soldiers pushed him back to his chair.
“Remove your hand!” the Emperor said, “Or I shall remove the hands of all your line.”
The soldier didn’t back off. Two other soldiers moved up beside the Emperor. They held massive plasma blasters in their hands. Big enough to mount on real tanks, not the Emperor’s little go-buggy.
“Who authorized this!” the Emperor shouted.
“I did.”
I craned my head around. A new, unarmored Don entered. The armored soldiers parted and he stepped between them. My mouth just about dropped open as I realized I had seen this Don before. The scar snaking down the left side of his face, the chopped off tentacles on the same side–it was the same Don who Yen called from the prison on Pluto. I couldn’t remember his name. But the Emperor did.
“Vom Bahnkray,” the Emperor said, “You dare.”
Vom the Don smirked and pulled a sheath of blue paper from his tunic. Tunic pockets must have been very popular among the Don.
“No, Emperor, how dare you?” Von said, “Betraying your race by negotiating with–” he waved a long fingered hand at the image of Buck…and me. “–these lower life forms. You have been conspiring with them to suck the power from our race. It has been decided your reign must come to an end.”
The Emperor’s one eye narrowed and his hand clenched the arm of his chair. I saw the barest tremor run through Vom’s body. He held one hand behind his back, clenched in a fist.
“You think I am so easily removed, Vom?” the Emperor said. His voice was low, like the sound of rocks cracking before a landslide.”
Vom brought his other hand out and unfolded the paper. He held it up before him.
“We, the High Council of the Don, do hereby declare–”
“You declare nothing,” the Emperor said, “I am the Don! I have ruled for ten thousand years, since the days when your ancestors cowered in caves when the storms covered our land.”
Vom’s hands trembled. He took another breath. “Do declare that Emperor HeJov has committed multiple acts of treason upon the Don people.”
“This is your treason,” the Emperor said, “I warn you. Do not test my capacity for forgiveness. You are already a dead man, Vom Bahnkray. As are all those gathered here. And all the high council. Do you wish your bloodline to perish, too?”
A couple of the armored soldiers took a step back. Vom barked a command at them. They stopped, but the barrels of their plasma blasters pointed to the floor.
Vom continued reading from the paper.
“Therefore, it is in the best interest of the Don people that Emperor HeJov abdicate his throne for the good of the people of HeJovna.”
“Better duck little brother,” Buck’s image said.
A dozen heads swiveled toward the image of Buck glowing over the fire. Plasma blasters hummed to life. I twisted out of the grasp of the armored soldier. I let myself fall to the stone floor.
There was a loud clap, like someone slapped their hands together in a large, empty room. Then there was silence, except for the hiss of the flame in the fireplace.
I looked up. The soldiers and Vom stood still. Vom had an expression of utter shock on his face. His eyes were wide. His mouth hung open.
A trickle of purple blood ran from the corner of his mouth.
Suddenly his head rolled from his body and tumbled to the floor. His body quickly followed. I covered my head with my arms as armored heads rained down around me. A heavy armored body dropped on me and about knocked me out. The world went wavy for a few seconds.
I shook my head, clearing away the fog that tried to come over me. I squirmed out from under the armored Don. I started to get up and slipped on something, then realized it was purple blood.
There was a fair amount of purple blood on the floor. And on me.
Now I’m not the squeamish type. I used to help pappy gut them deer every season. But this was a bit much even for me. I kneeled on the floor and shook like a maple tree in a stiff wind. I glanced over at the fireplace where the image of Buck looked over everything like the Great and Powerful Oz. If he hadn’t told me to duck…
“I think we’re ready for them negotiations now, little brother,” Buck said.
Forty-Four
I turned my trembling face to the Emperor. He lounged back in his comfy seat. Somewhere he’d gotten another crystal tumbler and poured himself another healthy shot of 7-Up. His yellow eye held mine. The old, beat up son of a bitch looked relaxed, amused even.
As for me, I was glad I wasn’t wearing any pants. Saved me the trouble of finding a new pair.
I sucked in rancid air and tried to steady the shaking in my Don blood spattered body.
I craned my head around trying to see how all those soldiers–and Vom–got their fool heads separated from their bodies. I couldn’t see it. I wanted to stand up, but my knees wouldn’t let me. They was pretty fond of my head and didn’t want it taken off, just in case the head chopper was still up there.
The Emperor seemed to read my mind. “You may rise, Terran,” he said, “Your head will stay upon your body. For now.”
“Better stay on there permanent,” Buck said, “We might have a problem, otherwise.”
The Emperor raised his glass to Buck, then he took a big slug and smacked his lips. I made myself stand, my knees knocking together like a castanets player on meth. A sick feeling started to swirl around my gut.
I looked from the Emperor and to Buck. The Emperor had a kind of smug look on his face, which I figured was probably pretty normal, him being an Emperor of a planet and all. Buck…well, he looked like Buck. Kind of sour, but otherwise not much of any expression.
“What’s going on here, Buck?” I asked.
“Trying to solve some problems,” he said, “That’s what I do.”
Solve problems. Yeah, back on Earth, that’s what he liked to call it when people called up to enlist his services.
“Somebody gonna explain this to me?” I asked.
“Bet a smart guy like you can figure it out,” Buck said.
On wobbly legs I walked over to the chair and dropped my butt down on it. I watched the Emperor for a minute. He was playing with that thing that looked like a cell phone.
“How old are you, sir?” I asked him.
The Emperor’s yellow eye found me for a few moments, then went back to his phone thingy, or whatever it was. Maybe it was the controls for his death torture chamber and he was whipping up a new program for it.
“Old enough to know which way the wind blows,” he said.
I flashed back to the confrontation with the freshly headless Vom. I have ruled for ten thousand years, since the days when your ancestors cowered in the caves when the storms covered our land.
Long enough to know which way the wind blows.
I studied the Emperor’s mangled body and thought of my own freshly healed body.
“Why haven’t the makers healed you, sir?” I asked.
The Emperor snorted a laugh. He didn’t looked up from his phone thing, though.
“How could a machine improve on perfection?” he asked.
Indeed. I looked at Buck. He gave me a nod.
“You don’t trust your own makers not to mess with whatever’s kept you alive all these thousands of years?” I asked.
“When you are at the top, there are always, always, those wanting to remove you from that position,” the Emperor said. He waved his arm at his mangled body. “A wise man learns to be cautious. Eventually.”
“You two set this whole thing up just to root out the folks who were disloyal?” I said.
The Emperor kept playing with his phone thingy. Buck just gave a shrug.
“I thought you hated the Don?” I asked.
“Man can’t live off hate,” Buck said, “Sometimes a deal comes along that’s too good to pass up.”
Alar
m bells started going off in my head. Buck never cared about deals. He cared about results. I considered my next words real careful.
“Buck,” I said, “You made a deal with the Emperor here? Without me?”
A smirk crossed his lips. “You got your feelings hurt little brother?” he said, “Sometimes I gotta take an opportunity, you know?”
Yeah, now I could see it. The only thing I wondered was how they approached him in the first place. How did the Don Emperor get to Buck? The only Dons around had been….
The one I killed. And his sister.
I remembered Buck’s feet disappearing up into that ceiling hatch on the Blinky ship. And me standing there with Buck’s hat and coat on. That Don thought I was him. And he wasn’t there to negotiate anything. He was there for some torturing and killing. Specifically of Buck.
I put my purple blood stained hands to my head. Think, Roy. Things didn’t go down on that Blinky ship like Buck thought they were. Buck had to do something quick, otherwise his whole plan woulda fallen apart.
But what was his plan?
Buck wasn’t a glory hound. He didn’t care about getting rich. He didn’t care about status or power.
So what did he care about?
Getting even. Putting the knife in and twisting it slow. Letting the enemy look him in his eyes as their life blood drained away.
I put my hands down and looked to the image of Buck. He had his eyes on me. He must have seen I figured it out because he gave me a tiny nod.
“You make any provision for me to get back home?” I asked.
“Sorry little brother,” he said, “Didn’t mean for you to get caught up in all this, but I gotta do what I gotta do.”
“I guess you figure it’s okay to kill a man in his own house now?” I asked.
Buck brow creased and his eyes narrowed. “You put down mad dogs before they hurt someone,” he said, “Ain’t no difference that I can see.”
My heart thumped around my rib cage like a scared rabbit.
“So it’s too late? You can’t call it back?” I asked.
Eclipsing Vengeance Page 23
