by S. C. Daiko
A smile had curled her mouth but didn’t quite glimmer in her eyes. “Is that so?” She’d pulled me toward her in a fake hug. “Congratulations.” Then she’d whispered in my ear again. “Meet me for lunch and I’ll tell you something I can’t tell you here.” She’d glanced up at a blinking light above us, confirming my suspicions.
Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?
Last night, alcohol had given me false confidence; now I’m not so sure.
I really shouldn’t have drunk so much.
In the Mercedes, after Gleb had kissed me, I couldn’t help wanting more.
I should have learned my lesson from what happened the first time, the time when Kir was conceived. Booze tends to make me horny as well as over-confident, which is why I usually avoid drinking.
Now I’m totally screwed.
Not only have I arranged a lunch date with a woman who has more brains than I’d given her credit for, but Gleb will expect me and him to continue where we left off yesterday.
And I can’t do that.
I really can’t do that.
Maybe I don’t hate him as much as before, but I’ve got to keep him from finding out about Kir.
He wouldn’t consider me a good enough mother.
Not with my mental health issues, which he’d almost certainly find out about.
He’d want to take my son away from me.
My heart aches as I think about how that would destroy me; there’s a soreness in my throat and lungs.
I grit my teeth; I’d fight him tooth and nail, but he’s a powerful man with infinite resources.
He’d use them against me, I’m sure of it.
My eyes reflect in the mirror, dull, wet and red-rimmed from the excesses of last night.
I stutter out a shaky breath.
If I lose Kir, I’ll lose everything.
“Mama”, my baby cries out from his toddler bed, clearly ready to start the day.
Quickly, I splash my hungover face with cold water and head back into the bedroom.
My gorgeous boy holds out his arms for me to lift him up. I kiss his soft warm cheeks and take him to the changing table.
First things first; he’s soaking wet.
I put on a fresh diaper as fast as I can to avoid receiving a jet of piss in my face. Then I fasten the tabs and tickle him under the ribs, unleashing a peel of giggles. I dress him in clean jogger pants and a t-shirt before bending to plant a kiss on his cute little nose.
“Zavtrak?” he asks, wanting his breakfast.
I place his feet on the floor and hold his hand. “Come on, sinochek. Let’s go find Ded and Baba.”
Except there’s only my mom sitting at the kitchen table. She looks up at me. “Did you have a nice time last night?”
“It was a business dinner, Mama,” I can’t keep the snark from my tone. “I was doing my job. I have to do what my boss says.” No need to tell her it was me who took matters into my own stupid hands. “Remember you and Papa sold me to that beast for a year?”
And now I’m in deep shit.
Mama reaches across and pats my shoulder. “We had no alternative, my dear.”
“There are always alternatives,” I shoot her an angry look.
The irony of my situation isn’t lost on me, and I snort out a laugh.
I drink several pints of water and by mid-morning my headache has subsided. It’s a beautiful day outside, crisp and clear.
I’ll take Kir out in his buggy, go for a walk in the park then maybe we’ll fit in some shopping. I’d so like to buy him a new toy with some of the money I’ve earned from tips.
We do as I plan, taking sandwiches for our lunch, which we eat sitting on a bench after I’ve pushed him on the toddler swings.
Without warning, the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. Call it a sixth sense, but I’m sure someone is watching us.
Jesus, could Vadim have discovered where I live? I wouldn’t put it past him to get someone to tail me and discover if what I told Natasha last night is true.
My stomach gives a lurch and my breath bursts in and out.
He mustn’t find out about Kir.
I swivel around.
No one.
Just my freaking imagination playing tricks on me.
The Mall is only a short walk from the park, and soon we’re in the toy store.
Again, I feel that prickling sensation.
Snooping eyes are on me, I’m sure of it.
Cold drops of dread run down my spine and I shiver.
Act like nothing is wrong, Eva.
I buy Kir a big bag of plastic building bricks, and then I hide behind a tall stack of books, heart hammering.
Slowly, I peek from behind the pile.
Oh my God, it’s Brash. What the hell is he doing in a toy store? And, more to the point, was it he who was following me?
I grab hold of Kir’s buggy and turn around, ready to high tail it out of here. Except, my foot must have nudged the books.
As if in slow motion, they wobble, topple and fall.
Shit!
Kir lets out a shriek of laughter and claps his hands together.
Brash rushes up and bends to pick up the books.
I stand with my legs planted firmly apart, hands on my hips. “Were you stalking me?” I come right out with it, anger fizzing through my veins.
He simply shrugs.
An assistant arrives and asks us to get out of the way. She’ll manage, she says.
“Uncle Gleb gave me the job of tailing you,” Brash admits frankly as we make our way out of the store. “For your protection,” he adds, indicating with his hand toward a tough-looking man who has come up behind us.
One of Gleb’s boyeviks, no doubt.
Nostrils flaring, I jab my finger toward Brash’s smug-looking face. “How dare your uncle violate my privacy like this?” There’s a pounding in my ears. “God, I hate him. He’s such a beast. I don’t know how you can bear to be around him.”
Ignoring my outburst, Brash crouches down next to Kir. “Hey, buddy. What’s your name?”
My heart skips a beat.
Kir gazes at him with his big blue eyes and holds out his bag of bricks.
Brash looks up at me. “This your kid brother?”
“Yes,” I lie, dry mouthed. “Kir.”
“Cool name,” Brash unleashes his cocky grin. He takes my son’s hand and shakes it. “Pleased to meet ya.” He stares at Kir, frowning. “You have the same eyes as my Uncle Gleb...”
Kir lifts his head and gives me a questioning look. “Mama?”
Fuck!
I try to bluff my way out of the situation, saying Kir calls everyone Mama, but Brash shakes his head. “Your son is a Sokolov. I’m sure of it. He looks like my half-brother, Nikolai. The genes are evident.”
Terror rips through me. I bend, unbuckle Kir from his buggy, and clutch him close. He lets out a wail in response to my fear. “Please don’t tell Gleb,” I beg. “He’ll try and take my baby away from me.”
Brash stands up and touches his hand to mine. “He’ll be stoked to have a son,” he says calmly, “but he wouldn’t be so mean as to separate a mother from her child.”
I’d like so much to believe him, but I can’t let myself. “Please,” I repeat, “please don’t say anything.”
“You should give Gleb a chance, Eva. He’s a good guy beneath his tough exterior.”
I shake my head. “I don’t trust him.”
“When he knows Kir is his, he’ll earn that trust.” Brash’s voice is firm.
“You’re gonna tell him?” I lift my chin, fear flushing through me.
“No, you’re gonna tell him. I’ll just inform him that you have a baby. He worked out you were hiding something from him, which is one of the reasons why I was given the job of following you. That and his concern for you. I have to report back what I saw.” He gives me a half-smile. “And I will. If you don’t fess up by the weekend, I’ll comment how much Kir looks like a Sokolov and
he’ll work it out for himself.”
Fingers fumbling, I return Kir to his buggy and pull him away.
Got to get out of here. I’ll deal with the consequences later. Flight, then fight.
“Don’t you fucking dare follow us, Brash,” I call out over my shoulder.
Chapter Forty
Gleb
It’s still early; the private members’ lounge isn’t busy yet. I sit at my usual table, alternatively balling my fists and unrolling them. I gave Brash the night off; the new guy I interviewed this morning is working his shift in readiness for taking over for him next week. He’s doing okay, so far; he’ll do. Won’t be like having Brash here, but I’ve got to keep my nephew out of danger.
As for Eva, she’s in the periphery of my vision, serving the customers in her area. She’s avoiding eye contact with me.
No surprise there.
I stare down at my hands, trying to control the storm of emotions swirling in the pit of my stomach. As soon as Brash returned from tailing her, he told me what happened in the Mall on Saturday. I’d fumed, almost literally as heat had bubbled in my blood. And I’d carried on fuming all through yesterday. Of all the secrets she could have been keeping, her having a baby was the most unexpected.
A baby boy!
Adrenaline is still coursing through my body; I’m completely thrown.
Whose is he?
Is the father still in the picture?
Eventually, Eva goes out to the back to load up the glass washer.
I rise from my chair and follow, closing the door so we’re alone.
She spins around, visibly on the defensive, her eyes spitting sparks. “How dare you have Brash tail me?!”
I lean against the doorjamb and pierce her with my gaze. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” my voice growls.
She stares at me defiantly.
I glare back at her. “I bought you, Eva. You’re mine. And I protect what’s mine.”
Her toe taps on the floor. “My private life is my own.”
“No, it isn’t. Not when it affects me. You having a baby affects me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Didn’t think it was any of your business,” she glances down, a curtain of glossy dark hair falling forward and hiding her face.
I take a step toward her to brush it back.
She lets out a gasp and flinches.
“Don’t hide the truth from me, Kiska. I need you to be honest.”
She looks up at me now, her amber irises highlighted by the whites of her eyes.
Why is she so fucking scared?
She opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, the ringtone on her cell chimes. Releasing a breath, she picks up. “Hey, Mama.”
Her eyes widen even more. “Oh, my God!” Her voice sounds panicked. “I’ll come home right away.”
Fingers shaking, she pockets the phone. “Kir is sick. I need to go to him.”
“I’ll take you,” the words are out of my mouth before I can even think about them.
She holds up her hands, about to protest.
“No argument. It’ll be faster in my car. We can continue this discussion later.” I pause. “Do you have insurance?”
She shakes her head, her face pale.
“I’ll call my doctor.” I shove my hand into my pants for my phone. “I’ll ask him to meet us at the hospital.”
Eva runs to change while I order my Porsche to be sent up from the garage. Within minutes, we’re speeding toward her building. “Your son will be okay. Kids get sick all the time.”
“Mama said he’s burning up with fever.” Beads of sweat have broken out on Eva’s brow. “He’s gone all floppy and listless.” She turns to me, her lips trembling. “And he’s just had a convulsion.”
Shit!
I step on the gas; the cops be damned... many of them are on my payroll anyway.
Soon we arrive at the Petrenko building and Eva runs ahead of me toward an entrance at the side. We race up a flight of stairs. The front door of the apartment is already open, Eva’s father standing just inside. “Spasibo,” he thanks me. “My grandson needs help.”
Mrs. Petrenko rushes up to us, the child in her arms. Eva takes him from her; he’s only wearing a diaper, to cool him down her mom explains, and he appears to be half asleep. “Call us as soon as you can,” she pleads. “We’ll wait up to hear.”
“Of course,” I respond. “All will be well.”
A hope I hold onto all the way to the hospital, Eva rocking her sleepy baby and soothing him as she rides next to me. The little boy wakes up fully as we approach the ramp and emits a howl of distress.
“Shush,” Eva kisses his flushed cheek. “Mama’s here.”
I park outside the ER and shove a couple of twenties at a porter, asking him to keep an eye on my car.
Dr. Hughes, my gray-haired physician, is waiting for us. “How long has Kir been febrile?” he asks Eva.
“Only an hour or so.” I get the impression she’s having trouble remembering how to breathe. “He was fine when I left for work.”
I thank Dr. Hughes for giving up his time. “I’ll be responsible for the bill,” I add.
“Are you the father?” he glances at me, then at Eva.
I follow his gaze, catching the startled expression on her face. She blinks rapidly, obviously at a loss for words.
I tell Dr. Hughes that Eva works for me, that I’m simply helping her. I stare at Kir.
Christ!
He looks so like Daniel’s youngest son at his age; they could be brothers.
Or cousins...
Wham, the realization hits me.
Could Kir be mine?
I remember that time I fucked Eva after finding her snooping in my office. Remember the damn condom splitting. Remember giving her money for the morning after pill. What the hell happened and why would she keep my son from me?
As soon as we’re alone, I’ll fucking find out...
Dr. Hughes asks her about Kir’s medical history. Apparently, the kid has never been sick apart from the occasional cold. The convulsion he had before we came for him was his first. The doctor feels Kir’s forehead then gently inserts a thermometer under his arm, all the while talking quietly to him.
Kir glances up at him with big blue eyes.
My eyes.
My gaze ping-pongs from Eva to the boy, and I rub a hand through my hair.
I need to talk to her, but now is not the time.
After taking out his stethoscope, the doctor listens to Kir’s heart and takes his pulse. “How long was he fitting?” he asks Eva.
“Mom said only about a minute.” She presses her elbows into her sides.
“What happened exactly?”
“His body went stiff, then his face, arms and legs started twitching.” Eva’s breath catches on a sob. “His eyes rolled back in his head...”
“Did he lose consciousness?”
She shakes her head. “No. Thank God, no.”
Dr. Hughes removes the thermometer and reads it. “Kir’s temperature is 104. That’s why he convulsed. I’d like to keep him in hospital overnight. We’ll take bloods and a urine sample, run some tests.” He slips off his gloves, washes his hands, then carefully opens the baby’s mouth and inserts a newly gloved finger. “His back molars are coming in, which could have affected his immune system. The stress associated with teething will have made him vulnerable to picking up an infection.”
“You think it’s serious?” Eva asks, and the worry in her voice cuts me to the core.
He smiles at her reassuringly. “I expect by tomorrow he’ll be right back to his usual self. Keeping him under observation is just a precaution. Febrile convulsions are not uncommon in children of his age.”
She nods. “Thank you, doctor.”
Her gaze meets mine.
The nerves and fear are still there.
Fuck, how I want to take her in my arms.
But at the same time, I also want to bend her over my knee an
d spank her sassy little ass for keeping my beautiful boy from me.
Chapter Forty-One
Eva
Gleb has organized a private room on the pediatric floor of the hospital. I call my parents to tell them Kir has been admitted, reassuring them it’s only a precaution. I try to believe that with every ounce of my being, but I’m so freaking worried. My baby is asleep, an IV in his little arm feeding him antibiotics and keeping him hydrated. My heart thuds so loud I’m sure the Beast can hear it.
He’s worked out that Kir is his, I know he has. I saw it in his expression just before Dr. Hughes took out his stethoscope.
And I’d felt the blood drain from my face.
One of his security team is outside the door. Why else would he arrange for that unless he’s put two and two together?
Gleb lowers his six feet plus frame into the armchair next to mine by Kir’s bed and gets right to the point. “Why have you been keeping my son from me all this time?”
He leans toward me, and I recoil, trying to make myself as small as I can... maybe I can even disappear.
No such luck.
He places his hand on my arm, his touch so gentle it’s like he’s taking care not to hurt me; except, at the same time, I feel the firmness of his hold. I take in a shuddering breath. “I was scared.”
“Of what?” He frowns.
“That you’d want to take Kir away from me.” My eyes well up and a lone tear trickles down my cheek.
“Why the hell would I do that?” He reaches across with his finger and wipes the tear from my face.
So, I tell him.
Everything.
Taking deep breaths to stem my tears, I start with when I caught a chill after walking home in the rain that fateful night, explain how I missed the window of opportunity to take the pill, how I struggled at college, and eventually Kir’s difficult birth and the aftermath. “I was afraid you’d use my melt-down against me,” I sob.
“Jesus, Elousha, I’d never do anything like that.”
I like it when he calls me by that name, I suddenly realize.
The word rolls off his tongue. Makes him seem less of a beast.
I stare at his beautiful lips, think about how warm they’d felt when we’d kissed the other night.
