Understatement of the century. “Uh, thanks. I guess.”
“You two should probably start on Magical Beings,” Adelade said, pointing to a dark row of shelves near the back. “Stacks six and seven.”
They thanked her again and soon both were swallowed amongst the shelves.
Aspen’s eyes hurt. She could swear even her fingers felt bruised from turning so many pages. Her shoulders ached from lifting dozens of heavy books from the top shelves and carrying them to the table, and her brain hurt from reading. Pretty library or not, she’d still take physical activity over a mental workout any day.
She squinted down at the latest page of cramped text (Adelade had eventually brought over one of the candle holders, like that would help much; like electricity wasn’t allowed down here for some reason).
Aspen continued skimming through first-hand accounts, scanning through histories of magical beings, some of which would have been great to know years earlier, before she’d picked fights with things she shouldn’t. There were journals, diaries, scientific accounts, nautical records, handwritten scrolls; the stack of useless stuff grew hour by hour. She wasn’t even sure what she was looking for. When Lucien had said this was a way to narrow down whatever it was that wanted to enter New York, she thought that’d involve more scouting. Seeking out seedy characters and getting them to talk through charms or force (preferably force). But not this. Not reading without any sort of guide to help her. She wasn’t sure Lucien even knew what they were looking for. She’d found him earlier and demanded a clue, but he’d simply said she’d know it when she saw it. Isak had given her a pitying shrug.
Aspen half-heartedly thumbed through another text: North American Beasts. She saw plenty about something called a Wendigo, and the Thunderbirds—giant creatures that could summon lighting with a flap of their wings—in the Midwest, but nothing that seemed likely to be a huge threat to New York. She assumed.
If whoever was doing this was gathering enough magic to bring down the wards then presumably they’d be letting in something equally as bad. To Aspen, that meant things like high-level demons. Ultra-powerful djinns (she was still raw about Lucien brushing aside Hugo’s probable guilt), even something like the sphinx, which still prowled Egypt and would occasionally crop up as the culprit in a string of missing persons.
Aspen flipped through half the book before her mind caught up that she wasn’t comprehending any of it. She let it drop to the table with a sigh. Why was she bothering? It wasn’t like, even if they found out what this was, she could do anything about it. That’d be left to the actual Mages. Even if she became one (when, she sternly reminded herself) she’d still have to sit the battle out. Perhaps she should be looking for a way to make Xavier pay in the meantime. Though, as much as she hated to admit it, that idea had grown less and less attractive over the last couple days. It wasn’t because of Isak, she firmly told herself. Because what did she care if she hurt him? Him with his smirks and smiles that were coming easier by the hour. Him, who’d thrown himself in front of her to protect her…
She shook her head. Too much thinking. Things never used to bother her this much. There was a clear right and a clear wrong. Xavier was evil, and when it came to dealing with him, she’d do whatever she needed to.
Aspen scraped her chair back and stood. Hopefully Lucien and Isak had found something more than she had by now—or they’d managed to kill each other. She hadn’t heard any explosions…
And where was Tana?
The other girl was supposed to be helping Aspen tackle the stacks of text, but she’d wandered off in search of something an hour ago and hadn’t returned.
Aspen set off in search of her.
The Special Collections was bigger than she first thought. Aspen had to backtrack more than once as she squeezed through narrow shelves, but the other girl seemed to have vanished. That was odd. Aspen hadn’t known her for very long but she didn’t seem like the type to up and ditch her.
Just then, Aspen heard the gentle rustle of pages. She looked up to find the nearest top shelf had been completely cleared of books. Tana was curled up in their place, intently reading a book propped open in her lap. A couple more had been piled on the shelf beneath her. Every so often she’d brush her hair out of her face, her lips slightly curled back, teeth showing.
Trying to make as little noise as possible, Aspen stepped up on one of the lower shelves and peered at the book Tana was reading.
It was a compendium of some sort. Colorful pictures of the different magical races had been hand-drawn beside dense lines of cramped text. Tana peered closer at one of the pictures and Aspen could make out a woman that looked strikingly like an older version of Tana. The words Vampee had been etched beside it.
“Find anything good?” Aspen said.
Tana gave an ‘Eep!’ of surprise and slammed the book shut.
“A-Aspen! I didn’t hear you!”
“I can tell.” Aspen rested her chin on the shelf above her and motioned to the book “Find anything?”
“No…nothing I think would help Lucien.”
“I mean about the Vampee. About you.”
Tana nervously licked her lips. Her teeth had receded back into her gums. “Why were you snooping?”
“Because I’m curious. It’s in my nature. It’s kept me alive.”
“I’m not a danger to you, Aspen,” Tana said indignantly. As she said it, her eyes flickered to Aspen’s throat, then swiftly back to her eyes. “Promise.”
“I didn’t say you were. I only want to know for my own benefit.” Aspen’s arm and calves were growing tired from standing on the narrow shelf. She stepped down. Tana kicked her legs over so that she hunched above Aspen like a gargoyle, her yellow eyes bright in the low light.
“I promise I won’t hurt you, Aspen. I would never mean…” She stopped as though realizing what she’d said. “I would never hurt you,” she repeated.
Aspen held her gaze for a long moment. “I believe you. It would help, though, to know more about you.”
“You know what I am.”
“But it sounds like you don’t.”
Tana held the book up and looked at it. “I…still have questions.”
“Who was that woman you were asking Lucien about earlier?”
Tana weighed her answer, as though divulging a cherished secret. “She’s a Vampee, like me. One of the few who grew to adulthood. She’s lived in Prague for a long time and I sometimes visit her while I’m here. To ask questions, you know?”
“Why don’t we go see her?”
Tana started. “Right now? But Lucien…And figuring out what the monster is…”
“Can both wait. Lucien won’t mind.”
“He won’t?”
“I mean he won’t notice. And I’m burned out for today.”
Still Tana hesitated.
“Tana.”
The other girl picked her head up. Aspen waved her down.
“Come on.”
The woman lived in a more residential part of the city, beneath the looming shadow of Prague castle. The pair threaded through the horde of tourists to cross Charles Bridge, bypassing the statues of Catholic saints on either side. Tana seemed to know where to go, and Aspen let her lead them away from the clusters of people and into a quieter area.
When Tana found the door of the flat they were looking for, she stood for a moment on the outside, just staring. Potted plants were arranged on the windowsill. The Czech flag hung from the eave. A mat reading: Welcome to My Home was laid in front of the door.
Tana took this all in. Aspen could almost hear her thoughts: Still normal. Which meant the woman was still alive, at least. Tana took another deep breath before approaching the door and knocking.
A woman answered. She did, in fact, look older. Not as in grown up, but older as if living had actually had an effect on her body. Aspen wondered if Vampees naturally aged, unlike regular Vamps who were immune to the wrath of time.
The woman’s face l
it up when she saw Tana. “Tana. Tana, Tana, Tana. It’s wonderful to see you.”
Her eyes flickered to Aspen and her entire body stilled. Her nostrils flared, as though she was breathing in Aspen’s scent.
“Aspen’s a friend,” Tana said. “I hope you don’t mind me bringing her, but I thought if she knew a little more…She knows about us. What we are, I mean. She’s really nice, and she isn’t like, well…you know.”
“Nice to meet you,” Aspen said. “I’m a Norm, if that makes you feel any better.”
The woman gave her a sad smile. “Not particularly, no,” she said after a pause. “But I believe Tana has excellent taste in friends.”
She gave a jerky, accepting nod toward Aspen. “I’m June.” She opened the door and beckoned them inside.
While June bustled around in the kitchen, Aspen and Tana settled in the living room, on a duvet in front of a cheery fire. The room was plain and sparsely decorated, as if June didn’t spend much time in here. June carried in a tea set and began pouring them each a cup. Whenever Aspen moved, June would pause, sniff, then carry on. When she was finished pouring the tea, she went to the fireplace and readjusted the logs, causing some smoke to create a semi-obscure haze throughout the room. June took a long sniff in and her shoulders relaxed.
“I can leave if I’m a problem,” Aspen said. “Tana’s told me a little bit about what you…what you guys deal with. I didn’t mean to make this hard for you.”
“It’s fine,” June said. She handed Aspen a cup and pulled her hands away abruptly, being sure not to touch Aspen’s skin. “I usually mentally prepare myself before being around others. It’s not often I entertain guests in my home.”
Tana’s face had fallen as June spoke. “So…does that mean it doesn’t get any easier?”
June took a seat. She stirred her cup, staring into the liquid before taking a long sip and settling it on her lap. “I thought I warned you of that last time. No, it doesn’t.”
Tana wrung her pale hands in her lap. June sighed and set her cup aside. “Lean forward, Tana.”
Tana did so and June used a stretchy band on her wrist to tie the girl’s hair back. “Don’t hide that beautiful face.” She tilted Tana’s chin up. “I know my answer was not what you wanted to hear. But it is manageable. I’ve managed. I’ve made a life here.”
“I don’t understand,” Aspen said. “Tana told me a little, but… Can’t Vampees…can’t they feed?” I know they’re not well liked but I’m sure the Council can regulate their feeding just like the Vamps. You wouldn’t be hurting anyone. Not really.”
“We’re not like the Vamps,” Tana said. “We have the thirst, but blood is like poison to us. It turns us crazy. Insatiable. We wouldn’t be ourselves anymore.”
That didn’t sound too different from some of the Vamps Aspen knew of, but judging by the somber look Tana wore, it was.
“There is hope, Tana,” June consoled. “I can tell you more later. But, please, I’d like to know what’s happened since we last met.”
Tana filled June in on everything that had gone on in New York the past month, Aspen chiming in whenever it came to the part where Lucien ‘offered’ her the position as his apprentice. June merely shook her head.
“That man…” she’d muttered. It occurred to Aspen that Lucien seemed to get that reaction almost anywhere he went.
As the talk turned more toward the events of the last day or so, June’s expression darkened.
“Take down the wards? And you believe whoever’s doing this is trying to let something in?”
“Maybe,” Aspen said. “But we haven’t found out what that could be yet.”
June thought this over. “Have you tried Celtic beings? Their curses and the like?”
Aspen and Tana exchanged a look.
“I don’t…think so,” Tana said. “Adelade didn’t mention it.”
“Try them next. Many of the oldest magic we know today originated from there. The Court of the Arcane Arts in Edinburgh might know more, but here isn’t a bad place to check. You might find something.”
At this, June shifted in her seat to face Aspen. She didn’t say anything for a while, just stared, so long that Aspen began to wonder—with a bit of shame—whether she was plotting out the best way to kill her.
“You’re like us,” June finally said.
“Excuse me?”
“A half-breed. Neither one or the other. I could tell the moment you came in. You’re a Norm, and yet you’re more…”
“I’m Lucien’s apprentice.” Just saying it sounded somewhat false to Aspen’s ears, a betrayal to who she used to be.
“But are you really?” June said with a tilt of the head and a smile. “A Norm and a Mage’s apprentice. I wonder, what did he see in you?”
“Do you have a problem with it?” Aspen said, not managing to keep the biting edge out of her tone.
“Aspen…that’s not what she meant,” Tana said.
“I was only insinuating that perhaps you do understand better than most what Tana is,” June clarified. “That if you were to become a Mage you might actually change things for the better, not just for our kind, but for others as well.”
“I’m…not so sure about that.”
“Maybe not. But it’s more likely from you than others. You are an outsider, like us, an undesirable. You are a Norm, a Mage’s apprentice, and a Null. But you are wholly none of those things. You belong nowhere and perhaps that, itself, is its own form of belonging.
“Things are feared because of ignorance. If perceptions are to change, it can begin by one they don’t accept climbing to the highest position, by proving that it is not your birth that determines how far you go. And once one accomplishes it, so begins an avalanche of possibility for others. You would be the shining beacon of proof to others, others like us, to crawl out of the darkness.”
Aspen and Tana were quiet while June refilled her mug, then propped her elbows up so that the wavy lines of steam from the tea rose past her face.
“Otherwise, why do you fight for a place that will never accept you?”
“They will accept her!” Tana protested.
“They will in word but not in action,” June snapped. “They will tout equality for all races then cast off the outsiders, as they’ve been doing. Look at the boroughs now, not just in New York, but elsewhere. They claim to be equal, they claim to be at peace with one another, but there is no peace. If nothing changes, then this girl’s fate will be no different than ours—”
“I’m doing it for me,” Aspen said. She found herself standing and couldn’t remember when that’d happened. “That’s why. Just me and my own selfish reasons. Is that good enough for you?”
June chuckled. “Better than most. At least you’re not spouting ideals, only to drop them the moment you gain power.”
“What if I can help?” Aspen demanded. “What if I can make a difference?”
“I hope for your sake you can,” June said. “I really, really do.”
The Night Walk
It was the second day of searching.
Aspen’s mind was as resistant to starting as it was exhausted. She and Tana had stayed late at June’s house, despite the woman’s somewhat blunt speech. She hadn’t brought up anything more about Aspen being a Norm or a Mage’s apprentice, and Aspen hadn’t asked her more about it. She knew what she was, thanks, and June’s words about ‘making a difference’ and ‘bringing hope’ frankly scared her. She had never considered helping anyone outside of Brune and herself. At least not intentionally. But it seemed June thought Aspen was trying to do that now, trying to help all those who couldn’t help themselves.
And the thought was terrifying.
Not even counting what would happen if others believed in her and she failed to gain the position, it meant that she had to look beyond challenging Xavier. She had to plan for the inevitable after. It had been too much for her to take in just then. Instead, she’d left the rest of the night’s conversation to J
une and Tana, their words passing in and out of Aspen’s mind like the constant buzz of insects.
If Lucien noticed Aspen was reluctant to begin going through texts again, he didn’t show it. Either that or he was wrapped up in thoughts of his own. He seemed distracted this morning, reminding her of a mad scholar in a fairy tale. His mussed, crazy hair, so unlike his normal impeccable style, his distracted eyes that roved every which way when they weren’t fixated on something far beyond anything immediately in front of him. It was as though he’d put a bookmark in life and was taking it out, ready to begin again.
“You two find anything?” he asked offhandedly as Adelade took them again up one spiral staircase, and then down the next into the Special Collections.
“Nothing,” Aspen said. She recalled what June had told them last night. “But you might try—”
Tana let out a loud not-so-subtle cough. Lucien didn’t notice. Isak gave Aspen a funny look.
“Try…?” he pressed.
“Looking harder,” Aspen said. “I bet we’ll find it before you.”
They reached their section of the dimly lit Special Collections. Aspen’s heart sank at the sight of so many ancient texts still needing to be checked.
“If that’s what it takes for us to solve this,” Lucien said, already wandering away. “Isak, with me. Again.”
“Mind filling me in on what that was about?” Isak said.
Aspen gave him a sweet smile. “Girl talk. Nothing to worry about.”
“Isak!”
Isak gave them a final suspicious look before sliding his broad frame through the stacks. Adelade cleared her throat.
“Methinks you have a special section in mind?”
“Where are the Celtic books?”
Adelade brought them to a decidedly smaller, more manageable section, a small cubby hole of sorts branched off from the main line of shelves. They thanked her before starting to pull titles from the shelves.
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