by J. R. Ward
Chapter Eighty-two
Qhuinn wrenched his head around a second time. Surely he couldn't have heard that. . . . "What. . . ?"
"I broke up with him, like, two weeks ago. "
Qhuinn felt his lids blink a number of times. "Why. . . wait, I don't understand. "
"It wasn't working. It hadn't been working for a long time. When he came back that night after having been with someone else? We weren't together, so he didn't cheat on me. "
For some insane reason, all Qhuinn could think of was Mike Myers saying, Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?
"But I thought. . . wait, you two looked really happy. It used to kill me every night to. . . yeah. "
Blay winced. "I'm sorry I lied. "
"Shiiiiiiit. I nearly killed him. "
"Well, arguably you were being gallant. He knew that. "
Qhuinn frowned and shook his head. "I had no idea you two weren't. . . well, I already said that. "
"Qhuinn, I have to ask you something. "
"G'head. " Assuming he could focus at all.
"When you and I were together. . . that night. . . and then you said you had never. . . you know. . . "
Qhuinn waited for the guy to continue. When he didn't, he had no idea what Blay was alluding -
Oh, that.
Qhuinn couldn't believe it, but he felt his cheeks redden and warm. "Yeah, that night. "
"Well, had you never. . . "
Considering everything he'd just thrown out there, that little ditty seemed like a minor detail. Besides, the truth was the truth. "You are the first and only male I've ever been with like that. "
Silence from the other guy. And then, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry I - "
Qhuinn jumped in, cutting off the unnecessary apology. "I'm not sorry. There is no one I'd rather have had taking my virginity. The first one you always remember. "
Congratulations, Saxton, you lucky fucking cocksucker.
Another long silence. And just as Qhuinn was about to check his watch and suggest they take a break from the awkwardness, Blay spoke up.
"Aren't you going to ask me why Saxton and I were never going to work?"
Qhuinn rolled his eyes. "I know it wasn't problems in the bedroom. You're the best lover I've ever been with, and I can't imagine my cousin felt any differently. "
Fucking cocksucking son of a bitch Saxton.
As he realized the other guy wasn't saying anything, Qhuinn glanced over. Blay's blue eyes had an odd light in them.
"What. " Oh, for God's sake. "Fine. Why wouldn't it ever work out?"
"Because I was, and I remain, utterly and completely and totally. . . in love with you. "
Qhuinn's mouth dropped open. As his ears began to hum, he wondered if he had heard that right. He leaned in closer. "I'm sorry, what did you - "
"Hey, baby," a female voice cut in.
On the right side of him, a woman with enough cleavage to fill a pair of salad bowls pressed into his body. "How would you like a partner in crime - "
"Back off," Blay barked. "He's with me. "
Abruptly, Qhuinn's spine straightened: It was amply clear from the cold blue fire spitting out of Blay's eyes that the guy was prepared to tear the throat of that woman wide-open if she didn't disappear quick.
And that was. . .
Awesome.
"Okay, okay. " She put her hands up in submission. "I didn't know that you were together. "
"We are," Blay hissed.
As the woman with the formerly bright idea skulked off, Qhuinn turned to Blay, well aware that his shock was showing.
"Are we?" he breathed to his former best friend.
With the club music pounding, and a stadium full of strangers milling around them, with the bartender delivering drinks and the working girls working, with a thousand other lives rolling onward. . . time stopped for both of them.
Blay reached forward and took Qhuinn's face in his hands, that blue stare warming as it roamed around. "Yes. Yes, we are - "
Qhuinn nearly jumped on the guy, closing the distance between their mouths and kissing the love of his life once, twice. . . three times - even though he had no fucking idea what was happening, or whether it was real or if his alarm was about to go off.
After all the suffering, he was parched for the relief, even if it was just temporary.
When he pulled back, Blay frowned. "You're shaking. "
Was it possible he wasn't imagining this? "Am I?"
"Yes. "
"I don't care. I love you. I love you so damned much, and I'm sorry that I wasn't male enough to admit - "
Blay stopped him with a kiss. "You're plenty male enough now - the rest of it's in the past. "
"I just. . . God, I really am shaking, aren't I?"
"Yeah. But it's okay - I've got you. "
Qhuinn turned his face into one of the male's palms. "You always have. You've always had me. . . and my heart. My soul. Everything. I just wish it hadn't taken this long for me to man up. That family of mine. . . nearly killed me. And not just thanks to that Honor Guard of theirs. "
Blay's eyes drifted. And then his hands dropped.
"What," Qhuinn blurted. "Did I say something wrong?"
Oh, God, he knew this was too good to be true. . . .
There was a long moment when Blay just stared at him. But then the male held out his palm. "Give me your hand. "
Qhuinn obeyed instantaneously, as if Blay's command ran his body more than his own brain did.
When something slid onto his finger, he jumped and looked down.
It was a signet ring.
Blay's signet ring. The one the male's father had given him immediately after his transition.
"You are perfect the way you are. " Blay's voice was strong. "There is nothing wrong with who and what you have always been. I'm proud of you. And I love you. Now. . . and always. "
Qhuinn's vision got wavy. Hard-core.
"I'm proud of you. And I love you," Blay repeated. "Always. Forget about your old family. . . you have me now. I am your family. "
All he could do was stare at the ring, seeing the crest, feeling the weight on his finger, watching how the light reflected off the precious metal.
He had wanted one of these all of his life, it had seemed.
And what do you know. . . as usual, as always, Blay was the one who had come through for him.
As a sob ripped up Qhuinn's windpipe, he felt himself get pulled in close to a big, powerful chest, strong arms wrapping around him and holding him. And then, from out of nowhere, a dark spice wafted up, the scent - Blay's bonding scent - the single most beautiful thing that had ever been in his nose.
"I'm proud of you, and I love you," Blay said yet again, that old, familiar voice cutting through all of those years of rejection and judgment, giving him not just a rope of acceptance to hang onto, but a flesh-and-blood hand to lead him out of the darkness of his past. . . .
And into a future that didn't require lies or excuses, because what he was, and what they were, was both extraordinary - and nothing out of the ordinary.
Love, after all, was universal.
Qhuinn closed his fist up tight, and knew he would never, ever take that ring off.
"Always," Blay murmured. "Because family is an always kind of thing. "
Sweet Jesus, Qhuinn was sobbing like a pussy. But Blay didn't seem to mind in the slightest - or judge.
And that was the point, wasn't it.
"Always," Qhuinn echoed hoarsely. "Always. . . "
