by Phil Ford
Rani glared at him. ‘Would Maria have stayed out here?’
‘No,’ he admitted. ‘But she knew the score. Look, aliens — they’ve got more tricks up their sleeve than Derren Brown.’
Rani fumed, ‘Everything has got to be a joke with you, hasn’t it? Can’t you just be serious?’ Clyde looked at her, and for a moment Rani barely recognised him. The twinkling light that was always in Clyde’s eye had gone. She knew that she hadn’t known him long, but she suspected that this was a Clyde that few people knew.
‘I’ve done Serious,’ he told her. ‘My dad walking out on me and my mum was Serious. I get on better with Funny.’
Rani looked at him, surprised and regretful, ‘I’m sorry.’
Clyde shrugged it off and she was relieved to see a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth again. ‘Now, you better not put my back out.’
And as Clyde helped Rani through the window, Sarah Jane found herself once more in the clown room surrounded by the lifeless mannequins. She had no doubt that Spellman had in some way manipulated her progress through the museum to bring her here. He knew what scared her but she was determined not to give him what he wanted.
‘Come on, Spellman,’ she called into the air, ‘no more smoke and mirrors. If you’re planning on getting fat on my fear, you’re looking at a lo-cal lunch!’
But she couldn’t help but jump when Odd Bob touched her shoulder from behind. She spun around to face the clown.
He was licking his fingers theatrically ‘Tastes like fear to me.’
‘What have you done with Luke?’ she demanded, and found she couldn’t stop herself backing away from the advancing clown.
‘He’s with the others,’ he said.
‘The others?’
Odd Bob started to count them off on his fingers, ‘The boy in the stationery store, the boy playing football… if you want me to count them all you should pull up a chair, it has been over seven hundred years, you know.’
‘Where are they?’
Odd Bob waved his hands vaguely in the air, ‘Somewhere between this world and another. I don’t really know where, or what it is. It just is. They’re sleeping. I don’t want to harm them. I don’t need to.’
Sarah Jane’s heart fired with hope. ‘All of them? They’re fine?’
Odd Bob’s painted smile turned downwards,
‘Well, after a while they just fade away.’
‘Bring them back,’ she demanded. ‘Bring them back now!’
Odd Bob circled her, ‘Oh, I can’t do that. Can you imagine it? The bogeyman that brings children back from Never-Never-Land? Who would be scared of me then? I would cease… to be.’
As the clown spoke he had changed into Spellman.
Sarah Jane stared at the ringmaster, knowing that she had unlocked the secret to Spellman’s existence. ‘And if you don’t exist any more all the harm you’ve done is reversed. The children you have taken from here will be returned.’
Spellman snapped his whip against his leg impatiently. ‘But you can’t destroy me, Miss Smith. No one can destroy fear. It is a part of you all. I am a part of you all.’
The ringmaster took a step towards her. ‘Now, if you are so concerned for your son, let me take you to join him. I’m sure that your disappearance will — in time — give me much nourishment.’
Sarah Jane stumbled backwards as Spellman reached for her — and out of the shadows came Clyde…
‘Two aerials got married. You should’ve seen the reception!’
Spellman and Sarah Jane both turned to look. Both confused.
Clyde was beaming, ‘What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud!’
Clyde laughed at his own joke, but Spellman was turning on him. ‘Another child, another frightened mother. Yes, you have a ticket, Clyde Langer.’
But Clyde slipped away from Spellman, he was moving around the room like a boxer now, bring jokes instead of punches. ‘Police station toilet stolen — the cops have nothing to go on!
‘What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!’ As Clyde carried on Rani joined Sarah Jane, laughing.
‘A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into his house!’
Spellman snarled, What is this?’
‘Classic material,’ Clyde told him. ‘What’s invisible and smells like carrot? Rabbit farts.’
Sarah Jane laughed. And she knew what Clyde was doing.
‘Two snowmen standing in a field — one says to the other, funny I can smell carrots, too!’
Rani chipped in, Where would you find a one-legged dog? Where you left him!’
Clyde grinned. ‘Hey — she’s nicking my material.’
‘Stop this!’ Spellman spat. ‘Stop this now!’
Sarah Jane turned on him. ‘What’s wrong, Mr Spellman? Does the sound of laughter upset you? Does it frighten you?’
Spellman was starting to shake — it could have been rage, but it could have been something else… ‘You will fear me!’
He began to transform into Odd Bob, but failed. He became Spellman again. Sarah Jane felt a thrill run through her body — he was weakening!
Clyde was still hammering out the jokes, ‘Optician tells this guy he’s colour blind. Well, that’s a bolt out of the green! How did Count Dracula get out of Transylvania? He used a blood vessel!’
‘People have shuddered with fear in my shadow for seven centuries,’ said Spellman.
‘And now they’re rocking with laughter,’ Sarah Jane said. ‘That must be a real kick in the ego.’
‘I went to the dentist,’ said Clyde. ‘He said, say ah. I said, why? He said, my dog’s died.’
Spellman turned on Sarah Jane with one last burst of malevolence. ‘Do you think you can destroy me with these pathetic jokes?’
Clyde looked hurt, ‘Hey, these are top-notch gags!’
From her pocket, Sarah Jane took the sliver of meteorite. It glowed in her hand.
‘I’m not going to destroy you, Mr Spellman,’ she said. ‘I’m just going to put you back where you belong.’
Sarah Jane brandished the fragment of meteor and Spellman pulled back a little, afraid.
This is what brought you to Earth, Spellman. You’ve always been attached to it, but you were strong enough to resist its pull. But not any more, you’re weakening. And now the nightmare is over!’
Sarah Jane thrust the glowing meteor at Spellman.
For a moment Sarah Jane saw the ringmaster’s eyes wide with fear. The next instant Spellman’s form blew apart into a billion light particles that momentarily tried to reform into the shape of the clown, then seemed to be sucked into the glowing piece of meteorite.
A moment later it was all over. The meteorite’s glow faded, became just a rock in Sarah Jane’s hand and Spellman had gone.
They could all sense it — the nightmare was over.
Clyde took a big theatrical bow, ‘Thank you! The joker in the pack — every alien-busting team should have one.’
Sarah Jane hugged him. ‘Clyde, you were brilliant.’
‘Actually, it was Rani’s idea. She reckoned laughing was the only way to beat fear.’
Rani grinned, ‘Yeah. But I told you to be funny.’ Then, out of the darkness came Luke, ‘Mum?’
Sarah Jane could barely contain her joy as she threw her arms around him. ‘Luke! Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine. What happened? Where’s Spellman.’
She held him tightly and smiled, ‘I imagine you could say he finally paid the piper.’
Chapter Twelve
The secret
Rani watched as Sarah Jane placed the fragment of meteorite in a small metal box. They were back in the attic now and Mr Smith had told them that Dave Finney and the other kids that had disappeared had all been found safe and sound. None had any idea of where they had been, or any memory of the clown. It was a mystery that would never be solved. The metal box was something called Halkonite steel, Sarah Jane had said — nothing could get through it, not even th
ought. That was the last they were ever going to see of the Pied Piper — except in fairytales.
‘And stuff like this — it happens to you all the time?’ Rani asked.
‘You get used to it,’ Clyde said, and flashed her a smile. ‘Weird happens.’
‘Of course, not all aliens are bad,’ said Sarah Jane.
‘Just the ones that come here,’ said Clyde. ‘It’s like Earth has this big sign in orbit — Invade Please!’
Sarah Jane put the Halkonite steel box in a cupboard and scolded playfully, ‘Clyde, you know that’s not true. There are lots of good, decent aliens.’
‘But they do tend to stay at home watching TV,’ Luke grinned.
Rani burst out laughing and Luke’s jaw dropped with joy. ‘She laughed! She likes my jokes!’
But Rani stopped laughing when she noticed Sarah Jane watching her.
‘So what happens now,’ she asked. ‘Do you trust me to keep all this secret?’
Sarah Jane seemed to be thinking carefully as she crossed the attic, watched by Luke and Clyde just as closely as by Rani, all three wondering what she would say.
‘When it comes to getting a true glimpse of the universe, there are two types of people,’ she said. ‘Those who refuse to believe, that will tell themselves anything to deny the evidence of their eyes, to keep themselves safe in their tiny world. And those who embrace the universe, and just how special life is, and that want to keep it that way, by keeping it safe and secret.’
‘And that’s me?’ Rani asked hopefully.
Sarah Jane smiled and gathered Luke, Clyde and Rani in her arms, and gazed out of the attic window towards the darkening evening sky.
‘That’s all of us,’ she said.
