He needed Kathleen Connor.
And now he was petrified he’d lost her for good. He had panicked when he’d seen her in the store. Beverly knew about the scandal surrounding Kathleen, but she didn’t have a clue about anything else. And given that Beverly was just as shallow as he’d suspected, of course she’d wanted nothing to do with Kathleen. Well Joseph had had enough. He’d made a mistake. Yes, he wanted to protect Kathleen’s family, but he’d hurt her in the process, and that was unacceptable. The look in her eyes had ripped a hole in his heart.
It was obvious she wasn’t going to show up. His heart ached and his soul felt empty. This wasn’t the punishment he’d had in mind. Yelling, anger, even tears he could handle. But the thought of spending another night without her was devastating. What if he never saw her again? He couldn’t lose her. Not now, not ever. It would be risky, but he knew what he had to do. And he didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought about it. For once in his life, he was going to do something for himself. And for Kathleen. They deserved to be happy.
To hell with everyone else.
Kathleen’s stomach churned with anxiety. She couldn’t stop crying. It had been a long shot to think she and Joseph had ever stood a chance, but she’d fallen into the trap of believing fairy tales existed. A fresh wave of tears hit her as she remembered the scene vividly in her mind. Joseph smiling down lovingly at Beverly and agreeing with everything she had said and calling her “my love” all while ignoring Kathleen. My love was his term of endearment for her, not any other woman. Now it felt like those were mere words and not something special between the two of them.
It had been worse than if he had died.
Immediately, she knew she didn’t mean that. He was the love of her life. If he was forced to or even wanted to move on and be with Beverly, Kathleen knew she would be happy for him if that would finally make him content in life. She would be grateful for the time she’d had with him and the letters he had written her, holding them near and dear to her heart for the rest of her days. She owed him everything because without him she would never have made it.
That didn’t mean she was a martyr.
Kathleen was serious when she’d said she couldn’t do this anymore. She pulled out a pen and a pad of paper and walked out onto her deck in the light of the full moon, then sat in her rocking chair facing the ocean as she thought about the goodbye letter she would write to Joseph. It would be impossible to say goodbye, but she knew in her soul she must. She sat down in her rocking chair and began to write.
* * *
Dear Joseph,
I don’t know where to start. This has to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You mean the world to me, but today opened my eyes to the real truth. You have been upfront with me from the beginning. I knew exactly what you were doing in playing along with your mother’s wishes and why you were doing it. You wanted to protect my family from further hurt. I love you for that, but I can’t carry on this way.
Seeing you willingly shun me in public was too much to bear. I don’t think we will ever find a way out of the situation we are in; therefore, I am letting you go. I’m setting you free. Lord knows, my darling, I don’t want to. But it’s something I have to do. I can see by the worry lines surrounding your eyes this whole charade is taking a toll on you as well. I don’t blame you. It’s something you have to do, as a result, you have hurt me deeply. You are the only person who has supported me, remaining by my side and not followed the entire town in turning their backs on me. To see you shun me firsthand was simply too much to take.
I don’t know how I am going to live with never seeing you again or holding you in my arms or telling you how much I love you…
* * *
Kathleen couldn’t go on. Her tears rolled down her cheeks and dripped onto the paper, smudging the ink. Her heart was breaking as if someone had plunged a dagger deep through its core. How was she to go on without him? She felt dead inside, but she picked up her pen and reached for the paper once more anyway.
“Don’t,” a familiar voice strummed from behind her, emitting the most beautiful achingly sad musical notes imaginable. He gently placed his hand over hers and pulled it away from the paper. “Please don’t write anymore,” his voice dropped to a strained whisper. He cleared his throat and continued. “I can’t bear the thought of you leaving, Kathleen. I’m so sorry. I was being stupid, and it was heartless and cruel. You must know it didn’t mean a thing. Please forgive me. Say you’ll stay with me always.”
Kathleen tipped her head up to see Joseph standing over her. She sucked in a breath. He had tears rolling down his cheeks as well, and his eyes were swimming with the same anguish she felt. “What are you doing here? It’s too dangerous.” She didn’t have the heart to answer him yet as confusion warred with her head.
“I don’t care.” He knelt down beside her and cupped her cheek in his hand. “Don’t you see you’re my everything? I was going along with my mother’s farce of an engagement to protect you until I could figure out the perfect time for us to run away together. But instead, I hurt you. I will never forgive myself for that. I don’t care about any of that now. I only care about you, and I will surely die if you make me live without you. You are the only one who gives a damn about me and cares about what makes me happy. You make me happy, my love. Only you.”
Kathleen knew she could no more live without him than live without air. She didn’t say a word—couldn’t even if she tried—she just leaned in and pressed her lips to his. As always, a kaleidoscope of colors flashed through her mind’s eye, followed by a symphony of feelings from a slow throbbing burn of the bass to a rounding acceleration of the treble topped off with a climactic clash of the symbols.
And that was just from Joseph’s kiss.
She wanted more. No, she needed more. Right or wrong, she needed to make love to him, right here, right now. She stood and took his hands in hers and tugged until he followed her to the bedroom. Once they were there, she lit a candle and watched the fire in his eyes match the steadily burning flame as they flickered and caressed her body with their heated gaze. That gave her courage. This wasn’t the first time they had made love, but there was something different about it, something more intense and permanent.
She slowly undid her dress and let it fall to the floor. Next, she undid her undergarments and let them follow as well. Standing in all her naked glory before him, she let the love and desire she felt shine boldly in her eyes as the flames from the candles swayed in the evening breeze floating through her bedroom window, casting a romantic and cozy glow.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said in awe. “You have no idea how incredible you are, do you?”
She shook her head slightly, not wanting him to stop making love to her with his words.
He quickly shed his own clothing and limped forward, uttering words of appreciation and love. Starting with her forehead, he slowly kissed his way down her entire body, lingering on her breasts and then dropping lower to her naval. When she sucked in a breath, he gently pushed her until she fell on her back on the bed. And then he did something he had never done before. Kneeling on the floor before her, he spread her knees wide and lowered his head. She hitched her chin and let out a cry of ecstasy as he kissed her intimately. Parting her folds with his fingers, he stroked her a couple of times and then thrust his tongue deep.
Kathleen had never been loved so intimately. Her mother had always stressed for her not to expect much, that lovemaking was meant to bear children, and anything else was inappropriate. But if this was wrong, Kathleen would gladly welcome damnation. It was almost as if Joseph wanted to make sure she knew she was special. There was no other woman for him.
Proper or not, he wanted all of her, and she willingly gave herself to him. She screamed out his name as she came undone upon a tidal wave of feelings, and then he slid up her body, whispering words of encouragement as he entered her gently and they became one. He’d always fulfilled her like no other man could, but this
time she reached the peak of pleasure multiple times. Another first. Its beauty brought her to tears.
He matched her pace and found release as well, his face contorting with intense pleasure and pain until he collapsed on top of her at last. He lay sprawled between her welcoming thighs with his cheek resting on her breast, his breath fanning her nipple, and it was the most natural thing in the world to hold him to her. She never wanted to let him go. He was hers, and she had been a fool to think they could live without one another.
A knock sounded at the door in the wee hours of the morning.
“Kathleen, I said open up. I know you’re in there!” came a voice that would forever induce chills within her.
William!
She’d meant to rest her eyes for only a moment and have Joseph steal away at some point during the night, but they’d slept so soundly in each other’s arms. Kathleen gently shook Joseph awake. They were still naked and entwined, a part of him she treasured still halfway inside of her. As much as she hated for him to be torn apart from her, she knew he must leave now.
She had known the evening before was risky. William watched her like a hawk. He had seen her upset at the store earlier that day and naturally wouldn’t let the matter drop. She should have known he would check up on her. If he caught her in bed with another man, he would kill Joseph for sure and not give a second thought to the town discovering his secret.
Kathleen gently shook Joseph awake.
“Hmmm?” he mumbled, still in a deep fog and then took her nipple in his mouth, the part of him she so loved stirring to life once more inside of her and stealing her breath.
Fighting back the moan of pleasure, she pushed his head away from her breast until his tongue left her.
He muttered, “What’s wrong, my love?” as he started to move his hips, thrusting deeper inside of her, still half out of it and not really hearing her.
“Oh, God, you have to stop,” she managed to get out while gripping his buttocks and holding him to her. She couldn’t help herself. He felt so incredible she never wanted their time together to end.
“Why?” he picked up the pace, then bent his head and sucked harder as he reached his hand between them and touched her intimately while making love to her.
“Oh, God, don’t stop,” she panted, “but wait, you have to,” she choked, “William is outside.”
“No please, not yet,” Joseph grunted and thrust furiously into her until they both screamed out their release. Only then did he finally come back to reality and say, “Wait, what?”
But it was too late.
William broke down the door and charged through the cottage to her open bedroom door, standing before them like a crazed grizzly bear, his eyes wide in shock. The covers had been tossed off the bed, and Joseph was fully engorged and thrust deep inside of Kathleen still, where she admittedly never wanted him to leave, consequences be damned. But reality hit them both like an ice bucket as William roared. Joseph pulled out of her and rolled off the bed, naked and still aroused with his hands balled tightly into fists in a ready position. She knew he would die defending her if need be.
Meanwhile, Kathleen reached for the blankets and pulled them up tight to wrap them securely around her, terrified of what her husband would do. Standing up to a bully was the only way to defeat them. “William, what are you doing? You need to leave now,” she demanded forcefully. “This is my house, not yours, and you’re not welcome here.”
“You’re my wife,” he ground out, his balled fists twice the size of Joseph’s as he took a step forward.
“We are legally separated; you just refuse to acknowledge that or give me a divorce.” She hopped off the bed with the blankets still tightly wrapped around her like armor and stepped between the men.
“But he’s engaged.” William thrust a meaty finger in Joseph’s direction. “Why would you reduce yourself to playing the whore for him?”
“Watch yourself, sir.” Joseph pulled on his pants and stood up straight as best he could, given his bum leg. “Kathleen’s a lady and the love of my life. I was never truly engaged to Beverly. That was all for show. Kathleen’s the one I want to marry.”
“She’s my wife and always will be,” William growled, “you’ll never have her.”
“Watch me,” Joseph growled back, and the two men stepped around Kathleen and lunged at each other, landing blows as they rolled on the floor.
Kathleen screamed. She ran to her closet as the men threw fists and punches furiously, each striving to gain the upper hand. Joseph was a better fighter, but it was clear William was the stronger of the two. Someone would surely die if she didn’t do something and quick. Without hesitation, she reached into the closet and pulled out the only useful thing her father had ever given to her.
A gun.
Loading it with ammunition, she cocked the shotgun and that brought the men to attention. “Let him go,” she said to William with a calm, deadly tone.
William eyed her a moment as if he didn’t know for sure exactly what she would do. She leveled the gun, and finally his common sense took over, pushing his stubborn pride and damaged ego aside. “Fine,” he said in a low deadly voice as he dropped his fists and rolled to his feet, “but this is far from over.”
After he left, Kathleen closed the door and wedged a chair beneath the knob. She faced Joseph and her bravado crumbled as she let out a rash of tears that had been begging to fall. “What have we done?” she muttered between sobs and the gun fell from her hands.
Joseph rushed forward to take her in his arms. “We’ve just moved up what was inevitable, my love.”
“Wh-What’s that?”
“Our running away together,” he said firmly as he pulled back to look her in the eyes. “It’s not safe anymore. I’ve seen that look before in the eyes of the enemy. He will kill us both given the first opportunity. I want you to stay with me tonight on my boat and then, when William is at work tomorrow, you can return home to pack your things. I will leave word in your mailbox about where to meet me. I love you, Kathleen. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, even if that means we run away together and leave town to start over completely on our own with nothing. Are you with me?”
She searched his eyes, but really there was no question. “Always,” she said, and had never meant anything more.
16
Present Day: Beacon Bay, Maine
“I thought you said we weren’t going to do this again,” Logan mumbled into Emma’s ear. She was bent over her bed, stark naked with him standing behind her deeply imbedded within her, his chest resting against her back. She felt safe and protected and delicious, but his words triggered the common sense part of her brain.
“Thanks for reminding me. Last week was safe. This week not so much,” she managed to mutter and tried to move, but he slid his hand beneath her belly and down the front of her until he cupped her intimately while they were still joined as he continued to stroke her insides with the giant part of him she suddenly couldn’t get enough of. “Oh, I … Oh, God,” she blurted, followed by a cry of ecstasy.
“Shhhh, babe, it’s okay.” He kissed her neck. “Easy now, I’ve got you. Last time was my turn, this time it’s yours. I’ll pull out in time, I promise. Let yourself go, sweetheart. Let yourself feel everything.”
Emma stopped thinking and let go. Her skin prickled and nerves danced in delight as waves of sensations hummed through her veins. God, he felt so damned good. Warm muscles, firm skin, thick… She moaned her pleasure as he picked up the pace, holding her hips as he thrust deep and hard inside of her until she saw stars and screamed his name. He ground his teeth but held back his own pleasure as promised.
Finally, Logan stood up but stayed inside of her from behind as he stroked her back until she quieted and the quivers of supreme pleasure finally left her. She pushed against him until he pulled out of her and then she slowly turned around. His eyes were glazed, still so full of desire as he hadn’t reached his release because he’d th
ought of her first. He tended to do that a lot.
While Emma appreciated it, she sat on the bed before him and had the strongest urge to please him. She wanted him dripping with passion and out of his mind. Before he could make a move or figure out her intention, she slid her hands over his hips and around him to cup his buttocks and pull him to her. Oral sex had never been her thing, but with him, she was quivering with anticipation, wanting to give back. He was such a caring thoughtful person, always the one to give but never the one to receive. Nothing filled her with more joy than to be the person to pleasure him.
“Babe, you don’t have to—”
“Shhh, I know. I want to.” Her gaze met his seconds before she wet her lips and took him deep inside her mouth to suck hard, over and over and over. She stroked him with her fingers and tongue and lips, working a magical spell of intense desire over him and becoming more aroused than she ever thought possible in doing so. She felt unbelievably powerful in making such a virile strong man weak and vulnerable.
He was at her mercy, and she thrived on it.
His hands raked through her hair until his legs shook, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Throwing back his head, he moaned, letting out a guttural sound, and then he grabbed her beneath the arms and lifted her all in one motion, straight off the floor and onto his engorged shaft. She wrapped her legs and arms around him and held on tight as he kissed the breath out of her, spinning her around to press her against her bedroom wall and make love hard.
She was a good match for him. She didn’t need or want careful and gentle. She wanted out of control and explosive. He needed to know not all women were fragile, and it was okay to be himself. He wasn’t going to hurt her, but she might hurt him if he stopped. His shoulders were so wide, his chest massive, his hands huge…she felt petite and feminine and utterly cherished. He worshipped her body as if she were a goddess, and soon she found another release in unison with him.
Until Tomorrow Page 18
