“Hello, Madison,” she kissing him on his cheek. She had never called him daddy a day in her life. She observed her aging father. He stood a towering six feet five inches with freckles and light brown eyes. His complexion was fair and his sandy brown hair now carried accents of gray. Still in very good shape with a well-built physique, he wore his usual khakis, navy blue polo and brown loafers. She had always thought that his clothes never really matched his playful manner.
“I figured while I was visiting Memphis, I would stop here and get some of the best beer in the world.” Madison said smiling. They both knew that he would find any reason possible to have a drink.
“I’m sure.” Ivy smiled cunningly at him as he escorted her to their seats.
“I’ve been here for a while, but not by my own volition. You’re mother insisted that I leave the house this morning. Her boyfriend was coming for brunch. I guess that having me around would put a cramp in their little social.” Madison and Sade had been divorced for nearly ten years, but every time he came to Memphis, they stayed together.
“She’s dating a lawyer now.” Ivy said giving him the update he was asking for in his own way.
“A lawyer? Now see, that is what I’m talking about.” Madison shook his head. “She picks the weirdest men to associate with. You know that everything that they say about lawyers is true.” He lifted his brow as if to let his daughter in on a well-kept secret.”
“Is everything true that they say about doctors?” Ivy smiled.
“What do they say about doctors? Nobody talks about doctors. Everyone loves a doctor.” Madison took a sip of his beer and grinned at Ivy. “Have you met him yet?”
“Yes. Don’t worry. He won’t be around long.” Ivy liked the idea that his father was still in love with his mother, therefore extremely jealous of any suitors. “It’s your fault though. She never would have left you if you had just been around more,” Ivy said to her father in a very matter-of-fact tone. She didn’t hold a grudge against Madison, but every now and then she would remind him of his one big mistake.
“The story of my life.” Madison lifted his glass to her. “When you’re older, you’ll discover that hindsight is 20/20.”
“Anyway, I have missed you.” Ivy’s words warmed his heart as only a daughter could.
“And I have missed you,” he said touching her hand. “How is that soon-to-be son-in-law of mine? He isn’t messing up is he? I already told him that I would break his back in four places if he ever made you cry. ” He liked Grey alright but if he needed to, he would make him disappear over his only daughter.
“He’s just fine, daddy. And the planning is going well. ” Some things were better left unsaid, and Ivy knew it.
“You won’t tell the truth though will you, girl?” His eyes were fixed on her engagement ring. “You’re still blinded by the glimmer of that damned ring.” A smiled crossed his face. “I can remember the day I slid that one carat rock on your mother’s finger. Her eyes watered like she was cutting onions. We were college kids then. Yeah, she was blinded too. It literally cost me one semester of school. She was worth it though. She was sure worth it. And you’re worth it too. Which is why if he starts to treat you like you’re not worth it, you do better leaving him. Don’t sell yourself short, sweet pea. You only get one life, and it’s short as an illiterate man’s novel.”
“Don’t worry, Madison. I know that Grey is the right one. I mean, sure he makes mistakes, but he is as perfect as I would hope for him to be.” Her voice reassured her troubled father and a smile crossed his lips.
“Well, with that said let’s have lunch,” Madison said holding his daughter’s hand.
*
Hours later after a long lunch and running a few errands, Ivy returned faithfully to her midterm papers and study notes. It was a seasonal ritual to spend hours on end preparing for some of the most grueling analytic thinking that her young mind had ever experienced. She sat curled up on the couch under her great-grandmother’s purple and pink quilt with a mountain of books around her and intentions of burning the mid-night oil until first dawn.
Trina joined Ivy in the common area of their little dorm and brought her devoted friend a cup of hot chocolate. Turning down Ivy’s radio, she sat across the room from her and opened her accounting book.
“Doesn’t this music put you to sleep?” Trina asked nuzzling her head against the back of the couch.
“Yeah, but anything with words messes with my concentration.” Ivy paused. “Is there still a bottle of No-Doz in the kitchen cabinet?”
“Last time, I checked.” Getting back up, Trina let out a tired sigh.
“Don’t get up, Trina. I’ll get it,” Ivy said feeling guilty for bothering her.
“No, I don’t mind.” Looking through the crowded cabinet, Trina finally found the small bottle of over-the-counter stimulant. “Are you sure that you want to take one of these things? You’ll be up until sunrise.”
“That’s the plan. I have to finish reading this case so that I can write my analysis. If I don’t, Professor Hughes is going to give me hell. I shouldn’t have stayed out all afternoon with Madison and then running around all evening trying to finalize my wedding dress arrangements.”
“Here you go,” Trina said launching the small white bottle across the room.
Catching it, Ivy immediately opened the bottle and took half a pill with her coco. Hoping that it would revitalize her enough to finish her work, she quickly returned red-eyed and yawning to the task at hand.
Minutes later, Ivy felt her hands moistening. She rubbed them together and noticed that her heart was palpitating. Suddenly she felt jittery and sweat beads began popping up on her forehead.. Worried she looked at the bottle again and then questioned its contents. No-Doz wasn’t supposed to feel like speed, and although she had never indulged in the illegal drug she had a good feeling that it felt like what she was experiencing.
Trina noticed the startled look on Ivy’s face and stopped in her tracks. What the hell was going on? There was a long silence in the room before Ivy spoke, and when she did her voice was weak.
“Something’s wrong, Trina,” Ivy said holding on to the side of the couch.
“What?”
“I don’t know, but I feel like I’m going to faint. Are you sure that there was No-Doz in that bottle?”
Trina quickly took the bottle and emptied the contents onto the counter to better examine them. Each one was an exact replica of the other. Thinking to check the back of the container, she read through the warning labels and found no reason that Ivy should have been sweating and shaking.
“All it says is that women pregnant or nursing should consult a doctor before using their product,” Trina said without thought. “Do you think that you need to go to the emergency room?”
“Wait! What did you just say?” The words stung Ivy’s ears making her think clearly for a moment.
“It said if you are pregnant or….” Trina looked over at Ivy as her words registered. “Oh, damn, Ivy! You can’t be pregnant.” Sitting back down in the small chair across the room, Trina dropped the bottle on the ground and sighed. She needn’t ask to know. Women knew the look upon discovering their small fragile secret.
“Oh God.” Ivy grabbed her heart. “I am late!” Normally, she would not worry, but she had been with Nicola last month, too.
“Are you sure? You have been under a lot of stress. It could be coming? When was your last cycle?” Trina tried to reason more with herself that than with Ivy.
“The 28 of September.” Silently, Ivy sat on the end of her couch with her hands clasped together. “So much has been going on, I just didn’t think about it.”
“Ivy, it’s November. Well, let’s not waste anytime. Grab your shoes and let’s run up to Walgreen’s to get a pregnancy test.”
“I’m almost too scared to, Trina. What if it’s positive?”
“That’s what we’re gonna’ find out,” Trina said slipping on her shoes.
; *
There was nothing more profound to Ivy than watching her life go down the toilet with the upheaval of her lunch and the discovery of a bastard child preparing patiently to expose its brilliant head. Sitting up on her bathroom toilet in complete silence, Ivy looked at the results again for the tenth time. Positive. Too shocked to cry, she reached out for Trina’s hand. One of her worst nightmares had come true, and she didn’t know what in the world to do about it.
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m sure that Grey will be very supportive,” Trina said trying to smile.
“Maybe but will Nicola?” The thought sent chills down Ivy’s spine.
“Are you telling me that you slept with him?” The thought seemed inconceivable to Trina who had known her friend and all of her actions to be sensible until that very moment.
“No, I’m telling you that I’m the Virgin Mary. Don’t be naive’, Trina. Yes, I slept with him, but only once…only to say goodbye.”
“Some how, I don’t think you two will be saying goodbye, yet.” Trina sat down on the edge of the bathtub and scratched her head. “I told you not to let him get you in bed. The man is a certifiable dog. Well, you’ve always got a choice.” With a raised brow, Trina insinuated abortion.
“You know how I feel about that.” Ivy would not even allow the conversation to take place. Her tired eyes were filled with tears. “Damn it. How could I have been so stupid? Only six months away from my wedding, graduation, a new job, a new life, and I go and get pregnant.” Ivy wiped the tears from her eyes. “This is so messed up.”
“Yeah, it is.” Trina was for once lost for words.
“What am I going to do?” Ivy asked rhetorically as she hit her leg with her closed fist.
“You’re going to have to tell him.” It was Trina’ best advice under the circumstances. “That way both of you can come up with a solution.”
“Him? Which him would you be referring to? Or have you forgotten that I don’t know myself?” Ivy clasped her hands together.
“You didn’t use protection with a man you barely knew?” Trina was disgusted for reasons unapparent to Ivy.
“Yes, we used protection, but I don’t remember how many times.” Ivy shook her head in disbelief. “I was sort of drunk, and I just don’t remember. Anything could have happened that night. I know that morning we used protection, but I just don’t remember everything that happened the night before.”
“Well, what about Grey?”
“I slept with Nicola around the 12 of October. I slept with Grey shortly after. The day we got back together, he didn’t use anything.” Ivy sighed. “It could literally be either one of them.”
“Not if you used protection with Nicola...” Trina begged for it not to be so. “Ugh, I can’t believe you let him touch you,” Trina could not get the thought out of her mind.
“Trina! Okay, I get that you’re a little disappointed, but could you get off my ass, please?” Ivy wiped the tears from her cheek.
“I’m sorry,” Trina said getting focused. “Okay, we can figure this out together. How far apart did you sleep with them?
“Three days.”
“So you were ovulating when you slept with both of them.” That wasn’t good news.
“Yeah.” Ivy closed her eyes at the thought of it. “This is a potential disaster.”
“You’ll have to tell both of them the truth. As hard as it seems now, believe me, it will be for the best.” Trina knew that such a delicate situation called for not only sensitivity but also sensibility. Right now more than every Ivy needed a true friend who wasn’t willing to cut corners with her.
“I guess it’s not one of those situations you can easily lie about for too long anyway, huh?” Silence. “Shit! I’ve never been unfaithful, and the one time I do… the one time I do, I get pregnant. I just don’t understand life. I don’t understand the purpose.” She began to cry. “I’ve tried too hard to just fail.” Sniff. “To just go home with my tail tucked between my legs and let my family take care of me.” Sniff! “What I am I going to do?” Ivy put her hands over her mouth and began to cry hysterically.
“Technically, you didn’t cheat on Grey, because you two weren’t even together. Please, stop crying, Ivy. You’ll only make things worse for yourself.” Trina put her arm around her gently.
“I couldn’t possibly make things any worse!”
“Look, you’re crying like the world has come to an end, and it hasn’t. It is just a baby. And I know that you say just a baby. How can an issue like that be just anything? But it is. You still have your job offer, your fiancé and your credits to graduate. Nothing has changed except your state of mind.”
“You wouldn’t be so clear headed if it had happened to you. Trust me.”
“Oh, but it has happened to me.” Trina looked away. “And I chose to have an abortion.” It was a secret that Trina had kept to herself for quite some time, but she felt now was the time to reveal her secret in order to help Ivy through a very difficult situation.
“What?” Ivy said following her out of the cramped space of the restroom. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Why tell someone you’re pregnant when you know that you won’t be for long. Anyway, it was the best decision that I could have ever made under the circumstances. You know that my family has never been as stable as yours. There was really no one to run home with my tail tucked to. That’s something that I am absolutely sure of.” There was little if any guilt in Trina’ eyes.
“It was Brooks’ baby?” The plot thickened and for a moment Ivy forgot about her own problems.
“No. He has no clue that I was even pregnant. I really had no other options, Ivy. Believe me.”
“Oh, Trina. I’m so sorry.” Ivy sat down on the bed intrigued by Trina’ story. “I mean, just the thought of an abortion makes me feel nauseous. I’m scared of needles.”
“Look, I know that it sounds selfish and silly to you, but for me it was the right thing to do. For you, there are surely other options.” Trina was disgusted with herself again as she rehashed old feelings.
Ivy’s thoughts wondered. “In Madison’s eyes, I am perfect. I made good grades; won almost everything that I’ve ever competed in and never have let my family down. Now, I’m going to wobble across the stage of opportunity with a bastard child and no future.”
“Don’t be silly. You have a future, but it will be what you make of it. And you have options to but they will be what you chose them to be. Besides, don’t be surprised if that little bastard doesn’t help you to put your life into perspective.”
“How could a child possibly put my life into perspective? My life was in perspective.” Ivy moved her hair behind her ear and continued in a strained voice. “I had set goals, and I was going after them. There is basically nothing left to say.”
“Well listen to what you just told me. For twenty-one years you have lived for other people and met other people’s expectations of you. Now you have to live for yourself and for that baby.” Trina’ words provoked an argument.
“I have not lived for other people. I have always lived for myself.” Ivy’s voice shrieked with defiance.
“Case in point, your mother was Miss Tennessee State when she was a junior in college, so last year you ran and won the title of Ms. Bryton-Ritz. Your father pledged to a fraternity so you pledged to his sister sorority. Your grandfather attended Bryton-Ritz, so you now attend. Your fiancé complimented a girl in a red convertible the first day of your freshman year, so you went out and bought a convertible. Your grandmother worked two jobs her senior year of college to bring in a dowry, if you will, to the marriage, and you now hold the same damned ambition. Have I said enough, yet?” Trina smiled at her now furious roommate.
“Oh, you’re way off,” Ivy said grabbing her books.
“No, I believe I’m right on point, which is why I just thought that you should know that this will be the first thing that you’ve ever done that was not expected or requested of you by another human
being. You should be happy.” Trina smiled sarcastically and dodged the pillow Ivy threw at her.
Rolling her eyes, Ivy left the room. What did Trina know? How could she anyone see inside of her soul to tell whether or not she lived for other people? She opened the refrigerator door and stared blankly off into space. Grabbing of bowl of salad prepared the night before she slammed the door and plopped down on the couch. Trina’ words echoed in her mind. Turning on the television, Ivy let out a great sigh. She had been in charge of her life for years. Hadn’t she? She tapped her fingers on the side of the couch. Had she?
“Lived for other people my ass,” she said aloud as she flipped through the channels. She had come to Bryton-Ritz out of out of tradition. She had bought her car, because she loved the attention it got. So what she had pledged to please her daddy? It didn’t matter, she love her sisterhood now. She had gotten two jobs to…. She had run for Ms. Bryton-Ritz because… Shit. She hated when Trina was right.
Ivy was incensed. How could being pregnant be a positive in her life right now? She was a freaking statistic! She was a menace to a health society. Oh God! What if it was a boy? A woman could not raise a man! Her father had said it over and over a hundred times when she was growing up. What if it was girl? What if she had twins or triplets even? What if the baby was reta…she wouldn’t even think it.
Closing her eyes to push the thought out of her mind, Ivy pulled the blanket over her legs. What if Grey was the baby’s father after all and she confessed prematurely? She would have done all of this for nothing and lost everything. But then again what if it was Nicola’s child. It would surely come out baring the complexion of an interracial child. If that happened, she would really be screwed.
“Ivy, it’s Grey on the phone,” Trina said sticking her head out of the bedroom door.
Ivy's Twisted Vine Redux Page 11
