“Loni,” she whispered.
“Loni, can you make me feel better?” Grey’s boyish luster returned and hid his melancholy exterior. He would milk this cow for what ever it was worth.
“Of course,” Loni said laughing.
***
Ivy didn’t sleep all night. She sat in the window seat of her suite looking down over the Mississippi River and rocking herself slowly. Now, dawn was at her hills, and still she was submerged in deep thought about her soon-to-be nuptials and why she was really marrying Grey. During the course of the night, she had managed to finish the book that her therapist had given her and decided that she still was not living for herself, even after defying the family’s wishes for her life. Plus, Nicola was heavy on her heart. She saw something last night in him that she had never seen before. And yet, he was at his house with their children, and she was here.
Regardless of the ever-changing emotions trapped in her body, Ivy truly loved Grey. But it wasn’t the knock down, drag out love that she used to know. She wasn’t quite sure if that type of love even existed for her anymore. Now, she was left with a shell of love, quietly hidden behind proper conversation and pleasantries designed to take away the sting of obligation and constant pain of settling. It was the perfect disposition for a pseudo-wife in a public marriage designed to gain votes. However, it was a miserable existence for a young, warm-blooded romantic who wanted to be desired as a woman and more importantly as a wife. It is my birthright to be loved and treasured, Ivy thought to herself as she held her own arms, still crying from a never-ending well of tears flowing from the pit of her stomach.
With red eyes and tear stained cheeks, Ivy watched the sunrise on her penthouse suite as she sat wrapped in a thirty-year old quilt that had been passed down to her by her mother’s mother. The sun’s brilliant hues of gold cascaded around her embellished room and awoke some strange strength in her, causing her to rise from her unsettled slumber and prepare for her future. However, there was a mystic calling in her that named her lover in soft whisper that rang in her ears. Nicola. Nicola. Nicola. But to respond to such a name would call for drastic measures, not only by her but him.
Ivy peeled out of her pajamas and stepped into the gilded golden shower. Her fingers caressed then grasped the crystal knobs releasing hot fire pellets that singed through her haze. As the hot water from the shower beat down on her soft limbs, she washed away old, cumbersome thoughts. She reached out in the water, arms stretched to the sky and tried to release her pain symbolically, praying in her silence, mumbling words to God in hopes that he might hear her. Her long brown curly hair covered her face, shoulders and back, wrapping her like a blanket from the outside world. She sighed heavily, crying out in the empty room and shaking from the powerful and exhausting emotions pulling at her like strings on a cord. Finally, she leaned forward, placing open palms on the shower tiles and allowed the water to rush down her back. As she looked down at the drain, she could see her tears falling down into the tub and marveled at how she knew the difference between the her pain-filled drops that fell like rain and the cascading river of rejuvenation coming from the showerhead. She only wished that her decision would be so clear, but it would not be clear until just the right time. Until it revealed itself, she would take the agony of not knowing what this day held for her.
Chapter Thirty-Five:
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Chapter 35
HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT
“Gentlemen, could I have your attention, please,” Grey said taking up his champagne glass as the groomsmen quieted down in the back of the stretch Hummer Limo. “I’d like to propose a toast.” Grey cleared his voice and smiled visibly tipsy and enjoying the last minutes with his friends and brothers.
“Well, by all means, let me get a glass,” Mattock said in a cheerful tone.
“Matt, has anyone ever told you that you act like a black Frazier,” one of the groomsmen said laughing as they raised their glasses. Everyone laughed, even Mattock who would only tolerate the jokes because of the special time for Grey.
“No, let’s get serious for a minute,” Grey said straightening his tuxedo. “I’d like to propose a toast.” The car became silent. “To my last hour as a free, resilient man with the best men a guy could have as friends and family. As I embark on this…venture, I prepare myself to be strengthened politically by obtaining a ready-made family for the sole purpose of winning the 17th district of Tennessee’s seat for the House of Representatives.” With melancholy in his eyes, Grey lifted his glass and smiled at his big brother who stared disturbingly at his from his seat.
“I won’t drink to that,” Grey’s eldest brother Bishop said putting down his glass.
“Neither will I,” Mattock said glad that there was more than one voice of reason in the car.
“Well, I will,” Grey said turning his glass upwards.
There was a long silence as the men road uncomfortable. It had been evident the entire celebration that Grey was troubled by something, and now it was painfully clear. He was only marrying Ivy for the seat. Bishop knocked on the glass and had the chauffer pull the limo over.
“Grey, can we step out of the car and talk for a minute?” Bishop asked.
“Why?” Grey said looking around at his friends. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of these men.”
“Alright then,” Bishop said looking at Mattock, whom he was sure agreed with him. “You don’t need to marry this woman today. You don’t have to marry her today,” he said assuring Grey. He looked around for support on the matter and his other brothers chimed in.
“He’s right, Grey.” Emerson, one of his older brothers, said shaking his head. “No one thinks that it’s worth it. When you marry, you marry for love not for office, especially to be a Congressman. No one really wants you to do this anyway. It’s a bad move. Mom thinks so. We think so. Tell him, Bishop.”
“It is wrong,” Bishop said piggybacking. “I wouldn’t say anything before because I felt you may really love her, but this confession proves that you don’t.”
“Are you hearing what you are saying?” Grey asked appalled. “It’s one hour,” he looked down at his watch. “It’s one hour before my fucking wedding. And you’re telling me not to marry Ivy, because I don’t love her.”
“You may love her, but you’re not in love with her,” Mattock quickly interjected wanting Grey to hear their reasoning.
“Oh, now you’re going to take their side,” Grey said snapping at Mattock. He looked around feeling betrayed. “How many other people in the car feel as though I’m making a mistake?” A few other hands raised but no one said anything. “And when were you going to say something?” Grey said snarling. As the limo pulled over, Grey pushed his way out of the car and stood in a daze at the Exxon gas station.
Bishop got out with his brothers and Madison. This was a cold shower for a hot mess. They circled Grey, trying to get him to listen to reason. This was the final hour. If they didn’t say something now, they never could. The adrenaline pumped through the small crowd of family and friends.
“No one’s trying to put you down, Grey. You were doing an honorable thing. You stayed with her, even after she had twin boys by another man. You’ve been good to her. But you don’t owe her this,” Bishop said putting his hand on Grey’s back.
“It’s one hour before my wedding,” Grey said again wanting to give in to his brother’s pleas. “Do you realize how this makes me look?”
“You look like a smart man to most people,” Emerson said sympathetically. “Be honest with yourself, man. Do you really want this? Do you think that this is the only way that you can win the seat? Why is she such a guarantee to you?” The questions were infinite.
“It’s not her.” Grey said finally. “It’s the principle of it. I made a promise to her, not to leave her alone again. Plus, I didn’t want to loose her. She’s a wonderful person, but now that I’ve got her…” he looked up at his eldest brother who sto
od by him supportively.
“You don’t want her,” Bishop said finishing Grey’s sentence. “It’s evident to all of us, and eventually it will be just as evident to her and the rest of the world.”
“An hour is an awfully long time to apologize,” Mattock said realizing they had to stop this wedding for Ivy’s sake. “In time, she’ll appreciate you for it.”
“Shit!” Grey said upset that he had put himself in this situation. “There is no way to remedy this.”
“It’ll be okay,” Bishop said hugging his brother. “You just have to do the right thing for Ivy’s sake.”
***
Nicola looked at his watch. It was four o’clock with only an hour before the wedding and the sun began to weaken under the clear blue skies. Helping his mother out of his truck, he gazed up at the large church and awed at its beauty. Today was a supposed to be a day of celebration, but for him it was a funeral. Still there was something pushing him to see it through.
Tending to his children, Nicola walked with his entire family to the beautiful sanctuary was met at the door by Sadie who looked on anxiously for their arrival. She had made arrangements for the Agosto family to sit on the Winters’ pew. She and Madison had discussed it the night before and decided that although this entire fiasco was Grey’s design, he would have no control over their side of the family.
Sadie met Liz with a great hug, holding her in her bosom. Liz was equally glad to see her new friend, and embraced her happily. “You look absolutely breathtaking,” Liz said admiring Sadie’s champagne satin spaghetti strapped floor length gown with matching bolero jacket. Her hair was pinned ever so carefully with small delicate tendrils around her face. She wore a perfect strand of baroque Tahitian pearls that were given to her by Madison on their tenth anniversary and matching pearl earrings. Nicola smiled softly as he saw her, thinking that she was a regal as a queen, much in the same stature of his mother, a coincidence that he quietly appreciated.
Sadie hugged Adamo and Santo and then greeted Nicola with a warm embrace. Over a short period of time, she and Nicola had come to a wonderful understanding of each other and their bond only strengthened through these incredibly difficult times. It was a curious thing to Sadie that Nicola played along with her daughter’s antics. She could clearly see a love between them, but she ached for more than just love for them. In fact, she silently urged marriage.
“How are you, Sadie?” he asked hugging her warmly.
“No, Nicola. The question is how are you,” Sadie said ushering her group inside the sanctuary.
“I’m fine. Really. Where is your daughter?” Nicola asked taking in his surroundings.
“Just finished dressing. She’s in the bride’s chambers with her bridesmaids.” Sadie motioned down the long corridor of the church. Opening the beautifully embellished wooden doors of the main sanctuary, they were met by elegant decorations of soft white burning candles, ivy vine and beautiful white calla lilies. The symphony was already rehearsing and mood was that of a wonderful dream. Nicola looked around in admiration and then looked sadly at his father. As he sat his children down, his father nodded at his mother and pulled Nicola to the side.
“Are you sure that you want to be here for this, Nico?” Adamo asked quietly.
“I need to see this thing through,” Nicola said avoiding eye contact.
“Well, you know that this family is behind you in whatever you decide to do. And as strange as all of this is, I think that I understand your reasoning. However, I also want you to think about this…if there are things that you need to confess to Ivy, now is the time to do it. Once she is married, she will have no ear for your words. And if I know you, you’ve held back your true feelings. It may be late in the eleventh hour, but better late than never.” Adamo placed his hand on his slouching son’s shoulder. “If she feels for you as you do for her, then you are doing her a favor by going to her and telling her now. Then she can make an informed decision before rushing into this marriage with another man.”
“I told her that I love her, pop. It wasn’t enough for her.”
“Yes, but did you ask for her? Did you?”
Nicola thought back on all of his requests of Ivy. “No, I don’t think that I did.”
“When you ask a woman to give up everything that she knows, you have to offer her more than that in return. If you love her, go to her and tell her, but also offer her more than just your love…offer her your life, Nicola. It is the only thing Grey has respectfully offered that you have not. She does not need a boyfriend, a man friend, a lover. She needs a husband. If you want her, you have to make the ultimate sacrifice, otherwise your love is just a word and not a real action.”
“Dad, you’re telling me this at 4:15. She’s not going to want here this now.”
“She needs to hear this now,” Adamo said reassuringly. “And she needs to hear it from you.”
“But what if she rejects me?”
“But what if she does not?” Adamo asked.
Nicola was confused. Was it not too late? Wasn’t this now past the eleventh hour? His brow crinkled as he tried to understand his father who stood before him wise in his years. But Adamo didn’t elaborate; he simply turned Nicola around and urged him towards to the door. And with that and a nod from Madison who stood within an earshot of the two, Nicola excused himself from the small crowd in the sanctuary and headed to Ivy’s chambers.
***
Ivy stood looking at her reflection in the gold, full-length mirror at as her mother placed her veil on her head. Sadie had informed her daughter only seconds before that Nicola had arrived, and she had watched her daughters bottom lip quiver in sheer anticipation. Ivy turned around slowly and faced her mother and then after smiling softly let the tears fall from her eyes.
“What is it, little girl?” Sadie asked affectionately.
“All of this beauty around me doesn’t seem to compensate for my pain,” Ivy said absently. “None of it seems to matter right now.”
“Why now?” Sadie asked. She needed to hear it. A true confession. Ivy had been holding out much too long on her own feelings. It was time to put herself first, but she couldn’t do it for Ivy. Ivy had to do it for Ivy.
“Last night, I found out why Nicola hasn’t been as forthcoming about his feelings as he should have been.” Ivy looked over at Trina and decided not to expound. She was grateful for her friend’s honestly and would now do everything to help her protect her secret from the world. However, she needed to let her mother know that Nicola had good reason to stay away.
“Why has he been holding out,” Sadie asked urging her daughter to continue.
“That isn’t important,” Ivy said darting her eyes away from Trina. “The point is that as long as there is a possibility of him wanting me, I’ll never truly be able to be happy with someone else.”
“Well, that is a very bold statement to make,” Sadie said with her hands on her hips.
“Momma, I can’t do this,” Ivy said taking her hands and sobbing. “God forgive me for waiting so long to say it.” Her heart skipped a beat as she felt her confession pass through her lips. “I’m in love with Nicola.”
Sadie was lost for words but so ecstatic that she could not suppress her bright smile. She grabbed her daughter and held her close as Ivy let out a great cry. She knew that Ivy was afraid and embarrassed, but if Ivy was woman enough to stand for herself, then she would stand with her, protecting her as best she could.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” Sadie said wiping the tears from her daughter’s eyes. The room was silent as the bridesmaids were lost for words. “Ladies, could you excuse us for a minute.” The women quietly left he room in a buzz, anxious to see what would come of Ivy’s confession.
Ivy found a seat across the room and sat down carefully. Her Vera Wang wedding gown danced about her. Pulling the veil off her head, she wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed, looking up at the ceiling to keep from ruining her makeup.
“W
ell, what do you need me to do?” Sadie said closing the door behind the women.
“I don’t know. We’re getting married in forty-five minutes. Everyone is filling the seats outside. And now, like some king of sick cliché movie, I have to go out and break off this wedding with Memphis’ most eligible bachelor for a man that may not even want me anymore. Plus, I’ve spent ungodly amounts of you and dad’s money on this wedding.” Ivy laughed at the thought. “This is crazy.”
“Little girl, don’t you dare worry about the money. I’m more than happy to pay for this wedding not to take place. The Henderson clan is a bunch of psycho wannabe Jones.” Sadie said taking off her heals. “And as far as your other love interest…I think he’s more than interested. It’s just a pity that you can’t see that. The man was out there practically sulking a minute ago like you would never believe.”
“Really?” Ivy wiped her eyes and blew her nose in her handkerchief. “Momma, I’ve got to figure out a way to tell Nicola before it’s too late.”
“Now you’re coming to your senses. Face this head on,” Sadie said happy of her daughter’s decision. “As a matter of fact, I’ll go and get him for you.”
“And bring him in here?” Ivy asked eyes wide.
“Yes, now is the time to discuss it,” Sadie said with her hand already around the knob of the door. “Oh, give me my shoes.” She slid on her pumps. “Now, I’ll be right back.”
“Oh…okay.” Ivy deflated at the thought of what she would say to him.
“Ivy, don’t worry. You’re making the right choice. And I’m very proud of you.” Sadie knew that Ivy needed to hear her approval.
“Thanks, ma.”
Sadie walked out of the chambers and closed the door carefully behind her. As she looked up, she saw Nicola walking slowly down the corridor with a nervous frown on his face. Apparently, he was coming to tell Ivy the same thing that she was about to tell him. For Sadie, it was the most wonderful sight that her eyes could behold. She wouldn’t have to walk so far in her painstaking pumps.
Ivy's Twisted Vine Redux Page 48
