by T M Kelly
He cleared his throat, and I noticed his eyes dart to Charlie before landing back on me.
“Hey, I’m over here and I asked the question.”
“I know.” He seemed uncomfortable.
“Why is this so hard for you to discuss?”
Charlie tapped her finger on the phone screen. “Read it,” she whispered.
In the article, they painted Julian as the dirty old man who was supposed to be my trainer. They even had the balls to say he was possibly taking advantage of me. I started to pace the length of the mat. “Just because you are ten years older than me does not make you a dirty old man. What the fuck is this shit?”
He stepped beside me. “The MMA Journal has always enjoyed painting a shitty picture of me.”
“And you never corrected them?”
“I will never change their mind.”
My phone was sitting on the mat with my water bottle. I pulled up the web browser and searched for MMA Journal main phone number since the corporate office was in Las Vegas. Julian placed his hand over my phone. “What are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” I hit enter and heard it start to ring. “Fuck this shit. I refuse to let anyone talk shit about someone I care about.” The phone connected and a woman asked how she could help me. “Yes, I need to speak to your editor of the paper.”
She cleared her throat. “Is she expecting your call?”
“She is now,” I said in my pissed off voice. “One of her reporters decided to write a story about Julian Moore and myself without getting accurate information.”
“Oh,” she stammered. “Hold, please.”
“Gladly.” I looked at Charlie and rolled my eyes. “I’m waiting.”
“Get ’em, Lils.”
“This is Candace Smith. How can I help you?”
Her name caught me off guard. Was it? No. “Candace Smith,” I said, feeling confused.
“Yes, and who am I speaking with?”
“Candace, this is Lily.” I knew I didn’t need to say my last name.
There was silence on the other end for several long minutes. When she finally spoke, it was in a low whisper. “Lily. How is Johnny?”
“Dead.” My answer was harsh, but I didn’t care. She used to work for the paper in San Francisco and wrote the shittiest stories about my dad. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
“Lily, I—”
“Feel bad? I hope you do, because any other answer will just solidify my thoughts of you.”
“You know how it works being in the public eye?”
“So, did you see me somewhere? Or did one of your reporters share a picture of Julian, and you noticed me with him?”
“The latter.”
“Well, how about we fix this bullshit, and you post an article that shares accurate details for your readers?”
“Lily, the story is done.”
“You can write a follow-up story.” I seriously heard her let out the deepest sigh. “Julian doesn’t deserve what you said about him. He is a good man. One of the best trainers I know.”
“Do you want to give an exclusive?” Now it was my turn to let out a deep sigh. “It’s your call, Lily.”
“Wait,” Charlie said, stepping in front of me. “Is this the Candace?”
“The one and only.” I threw my phone back down on the mat.
“What am I missing?” Julian started removing the tape from both my hands.
“My dad dated her for a while.”
“Then they stopped dating and the stories started.”
“Pretty much.”
He threw the tape in the trash. “Well, she has been writing stories about me for a while. So she must’ve got bored in San Francisco.”
I sat down on the mat to read the article again. The picture they had posted in the article was when Julian and I went to a cafe in Caesars Palace. I had insisted we enjoy the little outside seating. What was I thinking? It was weird. The article shared mostly negative words about Julian. If you knew to read between the lines, you could find some serious pokes in my direction. Especially when they mention my upcoming fight with Spartacus. The way it was worded, I knew it was a jab at me because I was not with the AFC.
“Okay.” Charlie reached for my hands. “Hear me out.” I lifted my head slightly and gave this side glance. “Just listen, woman. You do the exclusive and get some serious publicity just with the simple article.”
“And with the mention, you could maybe see Chuck Anders in the audience at your fight,” Julian added.
“That’s a long shot.” I grabbed my stuff and started heading toward the locker room.
“Or is it?” Julian was fast on my heels.
I turned and we both plowed into each other. I placed my hands on his chest. “You know what that means, though?” He shook his head. “I have to mention my dad finally.”
Julian wrapped his arms around my waist. “The secret is going to come out sooner or later. You know how reporters can be?”
I leaned up on my tippy toes and kissed him. “Let me enjoy this one fight on my own. No reporters. No exclusives. Nothing.”
“It’s your fight. I support you no matter what you decide.”
“What if I decided to fight shirtless?” I teased. “You know, free the nipple.” He turned his head to the side, and I could tell he was struggling on what to say. “No. Too much?” I stifled a laugh.
“If you want to go shirtless. Who am I to disagree?”
I swatted at his arm. “I will only fight shirtless in the company of one.”
“Charlie?”
“Negative on that one, J-man,” Charlie yelled.
“I feel this conversation took a crazy turn,” I said, moving out of his embrace.
“And I find myself looking forward to you fighting shirtless.”
“Sweetie.” I reached around and squeezed his ass. “You’ve already fought naked with me.”
Brooks stepped out of the men’s locker at the exact moment Julian and I were discussing our practice sessions in his gym. He stopped a few feet from us. “There are things I wish I could unhear.”
“Oh come on, you know you’re jealous,” I teased.
“That would be a negative,” he said, walking over to the front desk.
“And I’m wishing I was someplace else at the moment.” I glanced at Julian, trying to send a message.
“I did leave my oven on.”
Brooks turned to face him. “Your oven? Can’t you do better than that?”
Before Julian could say another word, I started tugging him toward the door. “How about this Brooks? Julian and I are going to go fuck like bunnies.”
“Oh those poor bunnies again,” Charlie teased.
I raised my hand and waved as Julian reached down and picked me up.
“Take care, Charlie Bear.”
The last thing I heard before the door closed behind me was, “Save the bunnies.”
“So not fair,” Julian yelled before his back fell against the mat.
I moved my body in between his legs and rested my arms on his abdomen. “You do realize you outweigh me, right?”
Lately, it felt like I was living at Julian’s house and spending most of our time in his basement gym. Something I didn’t plan. The other day, right before I left for the gym, Charlie mentioned getting a roommate. Her question took me by surprise. After a few hours of stewing, I put myself in her shoes. She basically was living alone.
“Is this what Charlie was talking about?” He brushed a finger down the side of my face.
“About?”
“The way your eyes go glassy, you can tell you are someplace else.”
I placed my hands on the mat to push my body up. We were down in Julian’s gym completely naked. For the last hour, he would challenge me with a specific move where his crotch would end up only an inch from my face. I was becoming a master at focusing.
“I guess.” Sitting up, I stretched my legs out in front of me. �
�What are we doing?”
He was still flat on his back with his knees up. “Um, is this a trick question?”
I pushed at his leg. “No, not the naked training. I mean, us, here, your house.”
He sat up and pulled my legs onto his lap. “Go on.”
I laughed at his words. “I added some clothes to the top drawer of your dresser the other day.”
“We can just get you a dresser of your own.”
“Why would we do that?”
“Well, I live in this house that is way too big. Why do we need to share? There is enough space for you to have your own closet and dresser.”
I moved my legs off his lap, pulled them closer to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my shins. “Julian, do you realize you’re missing an important piece to the puzzle?” He scowled, and I could tell he was confused. “Babe, we have never discussed me living here.”
Julian reached for my hand. “I’m sorry. I guess I just assumed.”
“So you want me here.”
“Lily, when you stay at your place, I miss your body next to mine.” He pulled me onto his lap. “I want to wake up every morning with you tucked tightly beside me.” He bent and captured one of my nipples in between his teeth. “I want to make love to you when I wake up and before I go to sleep.” Slowly, he started to slide his hand down my abdomen to the juncture between my legs. “This is mine.” Before I had a chance to say a word, my body was lying flat on the mat. Julian was looming over me with this devious grin plastered on his face. Then he began to pepper light kisses around my rib cage, on my abs, in a circle around my belly button, and then he stopped. “Lily, will you move in with me, so I can do this to you every day?” Before I had a chance to answer, he dropped his head and surprised me by moving his tongue up and down my core.
My body bucked up at the intrusion and begged for more. I was yelling yes as I felt myself fall over the ledge into the most beautiful orgasm I have ever experienced.
I felt the warmth of Julian’s skin leave my body. Opening my eyes, I softly laughed at how he was staring at me intently. “I think I answered your question several times already.”
“I just need to hear it one more time.”
I pushed my exhausted body to the upright position. I scooted over and wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel him getting harder, so I pushed my body up slightly to give him the perfect access.
“Lily,” he whispered next to my ear.
I let my body slide slowly down over his hard length. “Yes, Julian. Yes, I want to wake up every day in your arms.” My body stilled, enjoying the feeling running through every part of me. “I want to make love to you all day and every day. We need to explore those other rooms upstairs.” I insisted.
We didn’t rush this time; instead, we kept the rhythm slow and sensual.
He reached up and brushed a few strands of hair away from face. “Lily, I think—”
I leaned forward and kissed the words away. A part of me knew what he was going to say; the other part was damn scared to hear the words.
“So I guess you’re not hungry?”
“What?”
“What did you think I was going to say?” Then his eyes went wide. “Wait.”
We were still connected, so there was no way to escape this conversation. “Hungry?” I lifted my body up a few inches and then fell back down over him. “I’m famished.”
He wrapped his arms tightly around my body and pulled me close. “This conversation is running in too many directions.” Then he nipped at my ear, sending an electrical shock through my body.
“Let’s just keep it in the up and down direction.” My body was begging for another release, so I increased my movements. “Fuck, Julian.”
“Hang on, Lily. I’m right there with you.” The moment my body released, I fell forward onto his chest. He whispered so quietly it was almost indistinguishable, but I made out the “L” word. It was a word I only used with Charlie and my dad. I wasn’t ready to say it to anyone else.
Trying to pretend I didn’t hear him, I kissed his chest and leaned back. “Feed me,” I whined. Without separating us, he stood up and made his way up the stairs. “Julian, we can’t eat in this position.”
“Wanna bet.”
Oh, I was up for the challenge.
17
“I wasn’t with you last night, Lily,” Brooks said, stepping in front of me. “So tell me what you’re feeling?”
Feeling? Was he serious? I was about to step into the octagon after several long months away. This was my first fight without my father by my side. Feeling? Oh, there was a whole slew of emotions running around in my mind.
“I’m good,” I lied.
He rolled his eyes. “You know you’re the world’s worst liar, right?”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
Brooks was my corner for the fight. With all the media attention lately, we all made the decision together that Brooks was my point man. He was familiar with my style of fighting and had been present at several training sessions.
“Lily, April has five extra fights under her belt. Focus on her weak spots.”
“Brooks, I know.”
Julian grabbed my hands to inspect the wrap. “Lils, we can’t be a team if you stay closed off.”
I pulled my hands away and glanced toward Charlie. “I’m sorry,” I said in a whisper. “This is my first fight without Dad here.”
Charlie ran over. “Shit. I wasn’t even thinking straight, Lily. I’m an asshole.” Her words caught me off guard and made me start to laugh. “What did I say? I was trying to be supportive.”
I grabbed her hands. “Love, you’re not an asshole. We just have a lot riding on this fight and—”
“And you used to always talk to your dad before a fight,” she finished.
“Yeah, I did.” Julian and Brooks were both keeping their distance. I grabbed their hands. “Listen, if you want me to be honest, here it goes. I’m scared.” Walking over to the couch in the corner of the room, I said, “I haven’t won a fight yet. I lost my chance to be an AFC fighter. My dad died. Oh, and my boyfriend is Julian fucking Moore and loved by every tabloid reporter known to mankind.”
“Why does she always say, Julian fucking Moore?” Julian glanced at Charlie.
She punched him in the arm. “You big dope, because you’re basically just as famous as her father.”
“So you feel pressure because of my history?” he asked, sitting down beside me.
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Lily, you have improved in just the last several months. You know that, right?”
Just then one of the employees knocked on the door and peeked around. “Five minutes. We need you out here in two.”
This fight was going to be broadcast on TV. It wasn’t part of a fight ticket but was still considered a main event. My fight was considered the preliminary, basically in preparation for the main fight. I knew this was a big moment for me which made it that much more difficult.
“Lily,” Julian said, placing his hand on my thigh.
“I do. I just want this more than I can describe…and I want to win this one for Dad.”
“Do it for you first,” he insisted. “Then your dad.”
I placed my palm on his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Listen, this fight tonight is the first of many. Spartacus has given you an amazing opportunity to showcase your talent. Prove to them you have what it takes.”
My mind reeled back to my dad and his many pep talks before leaving the locker room. Julian didn’t realize that what he had just done felt like one of those moments. Something I needed. I stood up and grabbed my sweatshirt, throwing the hood over my head. I tapped my knuckles together. “Come on, we have a fight to win.”
“That’s my girl.” Charlie beamed.
Before heading for the door, I turned back to face Brooks and Julian. “Thank you. Brooks, I’m feeling ready to kick some ass tonight. That’s what I’m feel
ing.”
“Perfect,” he said, stepping in front of me to grab the handle and open the door.
“Julian,” I said, before leaving the room. “You better be visible for me. I need you.”
He slapped his hand on my ass. “Is there someplace else I’m supposed to be?” I rolled my eyes. “Good, then let’s get this first win.”
I pulled the hood farther down over my forehead, trying to hide from the barrage of reporters in my face as I made my way down the aisle leading to the octagon. I clenched my fists and channeled my frustration in the direction of helping me win this first fight.
As I approached the referees who were officiating, several people in the audience started chanting April’s name. I actually felt jealous, but I knew my time was coming. The chants would be for me someday soon.
The one ref who was tall with a low ponytail stepped in front of me. “I need you to remove your sweatshirt and shoes.” Once I had them off, I held my arms out to the side for him to do a once over and ensure I was clean before going into the ring. He checked under my braid and made me open my mouth. Then he added Vaseline to my eyebrows, under my eyes, and some on my forehead. “You’re all set,” he said, stepping aside.
I turned and hugged Julian, Charlie, Brooks, Devon, and Tyler. Then I took the four steps up to the entrance of the octagon. Putting my hands on the side of my thighs, I bowed before entering. It was a habit for me or maybe a superstition of sorts.
There was this flash of fear that threatened to surface. Instead, I threw my arms up above my head and focused on the sounds of screaming that increased as I walked around the octagon once. Since this fight was being televised, there was a difference in how each fighter was introduced. I stood by my team, waiting as April made her way toward the ring. The time it took for her to get prepped, I found myself thinking about Dad.
I was bouncing back and forth on the balls of feet when he came into focus. The intrusion caught me off guard, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Lily,” Julian said from behind me. “Focus.”
