by K. G. Duncan
She felt good. Her anxiety and natural, defensive alertness around others had receded. This led to a bold experiment for her: “Operation integrate with others.” For the next few days, she played hop-scotch and kick ball with her classmates. She sat at the table of other girls at lunch and laughed and carried on like the previous three years of separation never existed. She raised her hand and participated in class. She was almost accepted as one of them.
Almost, but not quite, because the other children were leery of the sudden changes in her behavior. This was the kicker: although Abby was obviously so very different and awkwardly removed among her school peers—for it is in the nature of dragons to stand out among a crowd—she had always been just so awfully nice and gracious that the other kids were now wondering what her sudden interest in normal schoolyard fraternization was all about. Most of the other kids had accepted Abby for what she was, and if they had taken part in cruelty and targeted acts of bullying against her, they had long since abandoned such activity. This had been true since kindergarten, anyway. Abby was too sincere and humble and wise for anyone to keep dishing out such ill-conceived and malicious behavior toward her. Acts of cruelty lost their appeal for most when the intended target returned such acts with unconditional kindness and consistent acts of generosity. She was by nature, kind and considerate. It was hard not to like Abby once you shortened the distance created by her innate separateness. Oh, there were a few who persisted—Balt Luster and Princess Julia, to be precise—but for the most part, after the initial “otherness” of Abby wore off, kids actually liked her or even better for Abby, they ignored her.
But the new Abby—the loquacious and participatory Abby—was regarded with cautious reserve and suspicion by most or her school mates. Abby could perceive all of this, of course, but in her heart, she just figured that as usual, these kinds of things took time. And patience, which is something Abby had a lot of.
So, the week flew by, and in this new state of inner peace and heightened self-confidence, Abby broke out of her customary shell. Oh, she heard it for sure from some of the other school children, who whispered rude remarks that were just loud enough to overhear. Children, when given license, can be remarkably creative in their cruelty. Most of it didn’t bother Abby at all. In fact, she had a little private laugh with Olivia over “concerns” that she had come down with something contagious or that her doctor had prescribed some new form of medication that made Abby all giddy and garrulous.
For her part, Olivia was in fine form, helping to keep things light and making everybody laugh with her antics. She was in her element when all eyes were drawn to her, and if Abby was “gonna act plum crazy,” well, how could she miss an opportunity to “get her digs in?” So, the sociable, newfangled Abby was able to integrate with the others, but the watchful eyes of Olivia Fist were always there to oversee, and, if necessary, her quick fists and even quicker wit were there to protect Abby if things got out of hand.
At least that’s the way Olivia had it all worked out in her mind. Unfortunately for her and Abby, a few days of the “new” Abby was not enough to erase away a lifetime of aloofness and shunning. That took time and a certain willingness on the part of other children, who, aside from Olivia, were not inclined to invest any effort in getting to know Abby or changing their attitudes toward her.
The truth of the matter was that Abby might as well join the line with Fina Lee and the other special ed kids, for even though she was not mentally ill or suffering from a learning disability, most of the other kids viewed her as an “other,” and the resulting ostracization had, over the years, created a lasting and devastating effect on Abby. I suppose if Abby didn’t know any better, she would just accept the “other” category and get on with her freak life. But on the inside, it hurt Abby. She wanted to be sociable and friendly with others. She wanted to be normal. But she couldn’t touch the other kids without the intrusions into her mind happening, and that made everything all whopper-jawed and every which way so that she couldn’t keep anything straight. It was easier just to simply not let anyone else touch her. But how could she explain that to anybody? How could she make them understand?
It’s why she sometimes felt like she should just get in line with Fina Lee.
Friday rolled around, which meant the weekend without any school. For Abby, that also meant long walks or kayaking in the bayou. She hadn’t forgotten her promise to Olivia, either, and she was determined that her best friend know the truth of who or what she really was. And this was when the first incident happened.
Abby had agreed to take Olivia along with her for a Friday afternoon walk through her favorite trail in the bayou. Olivia was eager to accompany her, so as soon as school was over, Abby found her best friend waiting at her locker, grinning like a loon.
“You ready for this?” Abby asked with a smirk.
“Does the pope wear funny hats?”
“Blasphemous.”
“Scandalous.”
Then together, with hands extended and raised toward each other in their secret, finger-wiggling salute, they both chimed in, “We’re gonna burn in Hell together!”
Through a bark of laughter, and after a complicated set of final finger wiggles, Olivia snorted, then exclaimed, “I’ve got sandwiches… for second breakfast!” She patted her backpack and hoisted it on to her shoulders.
“Well,” Abby giggled, “Peanut butter in the bayou sounds like a good supper to me!”
“Baloney.” Olivia announced. “I’ve got real Oscar Meyer baloney this time. And it ain’t supper. It’s second breakfast.”
“At three in the afternoon?”
“Whatever.” Olivia and Abby laughed.
So, with schoolbooks stashed in lockers, sleeves rolled up, and bicycles ready to roll, the two girls set off for the Bayou. Houma was swamp land, and if you were looking for the bayou, well, you could pretty much head out in any direction and you’d find it within a few blocks or so. Abby knew of a trail that led down to her neighbor’s launch not far from the Mandalay Wildlife Refuge. It was private property, but they had a boat down there, and the way Abby figured, nobody seemed to mind if she used it because her neighbor was like, eighty gazillion Jurassic Park years old and never used the boat anyways. And it was only by boat that a person could get to where Abby wanted to go.
“Are you kidding me?” Olivia was scowling down at the rickety old kayak that was hauled up beneath a dilapidated, old, wooden dock. She swiped at cloud of gnats that hovered around her head. Their bikes were laid down beside the dock, and Abby was busy covering them with a nasty green tarp that she had taken from the boat.
“Relax, Pochahontas. Grab the oars and let’s get her out on the water.” Abby was excited and breathless, pointing at the end of the kayak. “Ain’t no bugs out there.”
Olivia crouched down and dug out the oars, brushed off the cobwebs, and handed one over to Abby. Like the kayak, they were made of some kind of hard plastic, thankfully, and thus immune to the wood rot and insects that seemed to be having their way with the wooden planks of the dock. Together, they slid the craft down to the water. Abby had slipped out of her shoes and was already wading out into the water getting ready to hop in.
“Hold it, Abby!” Olivia was kicking off her shoes and looking around. She walked over and carefully placed them under the tarp with the bicycles. “Did you check for spiders? That old thing is filthy. And snakes? What about snakes?”
Abby smiled mischievously back at Olivia, then she dropped her oar and pressed down with both her hands, submerging the kayak. She groaned and strained as she flipped the boat over and over until it lay bottom up on the water. She walked around to the far end and lifted it up. “There, clean as a whistle!” She laughed and lifted her end of the boat up over her head, water dripping. “Now, come on over here and lift your end. Let’s give it a good shake, unless you want soggy drawers!”
“Soggy drawers
are not an option, Bayou Becky,” Olivia snickered as she complied by lifting her end of the kayak. She moaned loudly as she struggled to separate the boat from the water. Finally, with kayak raised above both heads, the girls laughed as they shook the boat, getting a good soaking for their efforts.
“Jiminy Christmas!” Olivia spat the water from her face. They placed the kayak back on the water, and Abby grabbed her oar and jumped in. Somewhat more reluctantly, Olivia followed, plopping down heavily then grabbing the edges of the craft as it rocked with her weight.
“Whoah! Hold ‘er newt.” She breathed out heavily and glanced up at the still smiling face of Abby. Little rivulets of water streamed down her friend’s face. “Are you sure this thing is even sea-worthy?”
“Sea-worthy, I know not!” Abby responded. “But this here little boat is 100 percent bayou-proof, guaranteed!” Abby had affected a thick Cajun accent for that last word, then flipped herself around and began to paddle.
With an audible “harrumph,” Olivia followed suit. “If I die out here today and become some lucky gator’s dinner, A.B. Rubideaux, it is entirely on you!” And with an eruption of raucous laughter, the girls shot out into the water, paddling in symmetry like experienced Indian braves.
The majority of their kayak journey was spent with Abby prattling on and on about their classmates, and schoolyard universals, and how everything fit into one single moment in time because each moment in time contained all the others, and that meant that just about anything was possible if you could just open your mind to it. Olivia could barely get a word in edgewise, and the only time Abby would pause to catch her breath was when she would suddenly change course, and paddle through what looked to Olivia like a solid wall of water rushes until it wasn’t solid anymore, and they were clear and through to the other side following a course that only Abby knew.
“Aha! Land ho!” Abby interrupted her monologue, in which she was talking about Fina Lee Bentley and how her life was going to take a turn that no one in Houma would ever have suspected, and they began to row with renewed purpose toward an island in the middle of a small lake. A large willow tree majestically drooped down over the center of the island, but there were flowers and mossy logs scattered across a large, sandy clearing where the edge of the island touched water.
“But I don’t understand one thing,” Olivia interjected as the kayak slid up on the shore and they both jumped out. “How does all of this stuff you know about all these folks have anything to do with dragons?”
Abby grasped the edge of the kayak and hauled it up well above the water line. She absently brushed the wavy strands of her black hair from her face and turned back to face Olivia. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, numbskull!” She held out her hand as Olivia passed her the oar, which she dropped into the kayak with a clatter.
“All of these things I know come to me through the dragon. The dragon lives inside of me and is always there. It’s like a little voice, only she speaks to me in pictures.”
“She? Your dragon is female? Well, thank God for that!” Olivia placed her hands on her hips and winked at Abby. “I wouldn’t want you to turn into no boy dragon—that just wouldn’t be right.”
“The dragon is me, silly. Of course I’m a female, and so is she. At least I think so. I’m not really sure. But whatever he or she is, we are part of each other, and we can’t be separated. But no matter what, I’m still a girl.” Abby wringed her hands together as she could see Olivia purse her lips and scrunch up her face with suspicion.
“Okay,” Abby continued. “Let’s try this: I’m a girl just like you, except I have this other part of me that’s the dragon part of me. And the dragon talks to me and helps me see things. It’s like I have dragon vision. Like a dream, only it’s not. It’s all real. I can feel the truth of it. The dragon voice and the pictures she sends me inside my head. It’s my secret superpower.”
“Go on now!” Olivia scoffed and chuckled. “You got some secret superpowers that you call Dragon Vision? Girl, sign me up for a subscription, cuz I got to see the next episode on Netflix, and I don’t know what all.”
Abby sighed and tried to find her composure. “I know it’s hard to believe. I will try to explain it to you so that everything makes sense.” Abby rolled her neck around and shook out the cramping muscles in her hand. She then sat down suddenly, cross-legged, and gestured for Olivia to follow suit.
“Guess my drawers are gonna be soggy after all,” Olivia complained as she looked around before plopping down on the wet, sandy shore.
Abby was looking directly, and earnestly at Olivia. No more smiles. She took another deep breath and began, “Now, I never told no one about this, not even Momma Bea. So, you’re the first.” Abby paused and Olivia nodded her head.
Abby continued, “When I meet people for the first time or when I touch them, I get these visions, you know? Pictures of their life from a long time ago, like when they was just little kids or even babies. I can see things that happened to them, like memories that they been holding on to and won’t let go. Sometimes it comes just in flashes, but other times the details are crystal clear and so… powerful, like I am there experiencing these things for myself.”
“You can see people’s memories?” Olivia was all serious, no more grinning.
“Yes, I suppose that’s what it is.” Abby pressed her lips together and looked up into the sky, thinking, trying to gather her thoughts. “But it’s more than that. I can see and feel everything that is happening to them right now, in the present, and it’s like this little light turns on… I call it their soul-fire, and this little light can go anywhere and show me anything—everything that’s happening in their lives, and everything that might happen in their lives. I can follow their soul-fire like on a path, a path that leads to all the countless possibilities of the future.”
“Go on, now!” Olivia scoffed. “How is that possible? You see things in the future? How do you know they gonna happen if they ain’t even happened yet? Don’t make no sense to me.”
Abby smiled and rubbed her legs excitedly before continuing. “But it does make sense, Olivia. The little soul-fire light shows me the pathways, and everything is connected to this moment, right now. It’s like the soul-fire knows what it wants, and it knows how to find its way to make it so. Or not… I mean, not everything I see in the future comes true. Sometimes there are forces or other people in your life that make it almost impossible to follow your soul-fire. Sometimes you get beat down so hard that you can’t find it, but it’s still there, buried deep. Only then, it’s more like a soulful yearning… but it’s incomplete or hindered by some deeper emotion, like a fear, or maybe it’s caught in a pattern that shapes and forms a life. And it’s real hard to break those patterns. Not everyone knows how to follow their soul-fire. In fact, most don’t without some help. And that’s why I’m here, I think.”
Abby paused and stopped rubbing her legs. She leaned over to stare directly into Olivia’s eyes. Olivia flipped her frizzy red hair out of her face and stared back. Abby noticed that Olivia’s green eyes had yellow suns around their pupils. Olivia was beautiful. And Olivia was staring back at her, completely open and unintimidated. A flash of blurry light erupted around the two of them for a few moments, and then Olivia’s face changed. She was old, a grandma in her eighties, maybe older. Her face was wrinkled, and her hair was dyed a ludicrous shade of orangey-red, but her eyes were the same. And she was laughing and slapping her knee, rocking her body back and forth in front of some of the ugliest gold and brown patterned wallpaper Abby had ever seen. Then the image was gone. It had happened just like that. A future flash forward to a time that was somehow connected to this moment. Abby knew right then and there that they were going to be friends for life.
Slowly, Abby refocused on the face of her twelve-year old friend. Olivia was now staring at her suspiciously, her lips pressed tightly together.
“What are
you grinning about?” Olivia asked.
“Nothin’,” Abby grinned wider and shrugged her shoulders.
“Horse turds!” Olivia broke into a big smile and slapped her knees. “Something just happened! Tell me!”
Abby just smiled, still seeing a ghost of the wrinkled granny superimposed over her friend’s face. Abby giggled and shook her head. “No, no, no. It’s nothing. I’ll tell you later.” She stilled herself and took a deep breath. “I don’t want a distraction right now. I was about to tell you something.” She took another deep breath, exhaling noisily through her mouth.
Slowly, Abby began to articulate her belief. “I think I am here to help people follow their soul-fire. That is what my Dragon Vision is all about. I can help them find it. I can show them the path that their soul-fire most wants to follow. I can help them find their bliss. Their greatest happiness. Yes, that’s it. That which fulfills them the most and helps them… evolve. To become the most incredible person that they can be.”
Abby paused and grinned, glancing away from Olivia, who was now scrunching up her nose with the intensity of her gaze. She continued, “I saw everything just the other day, with Fina Lee Bentley…”
“The retard?” Olivia blurted out.
“Please don’t call her that!” Abby scolded Olivia. “She’s autistic, but she’s not stupid. In fact, she’s super smart!” Abby closed her eyes so that she could remember, and then she spoke in a sudden rush. “But…but her pa does terrible things to her. Unspeakable things. And she can’t communicate that to anyone… she can’t find the words because none of it has any rhyme or reason. Oh, she’s so full of hurt, Olivia, but she has this gift inside of her. One day she will figure it out, she will find the words… if she just keeps to the path… She’s already started it. She keeps a journal, and it’s amazing—filled with stories and pictures and poems… it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And, I know—I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that journal—what she writes and what she draws in it—that’s her soul-fire trying to get out. That’s the reason why she is here. And that will be her salvation.”
