He starts laughing. ‘Same here. We don’t ask for much, do we?’
It is refreshing to be talking to someone who really understands what it’s like to feel trapped. It’s ironic, though, because Cary is the last person on earth I ever thought would be able to empathise with that feeling. He’s a man who, a mere twenty-four hours ago, was driving me insane.
‘Okay. Let’s make a pact. We’ll call it “the Santa Clause”, you know, with an “e” because I’m proposing a contract of sorts. And you’re a woman who, like me, expects the small print to be clearly defined. And that’s important if this is going to work. Cressida already thinks you’re my girlfriend, so what harm can it do if it gets us all over the holidays? It’s not like you’ll be here anyway, and I’ll be in her good books. In return, I can be the new man in your life, which sends your ex’s family a clear message about the future.’
I peer at him in total disbelief now. I know he’s under pressure but isn’t this a little drastic?
‘We pretend it’s for real?’
‘There’s no reason why we wouldn’t be dating, so I can’t see the harm in it. My grandmother will be delighted I’m taking her advice and seeing someone again. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel I’m putting a smile on her face that isn’t simply masking her concern. And you would be doing me a huge favour.’
‘Hmm. You really think it’s as simple as that?’ My mind is actually whirling. It’s a crazy idea but he will be dropping me off at Gwen and Peter’s house. All I need to do is imply we’re in a relationship; they don’t actually have to meet him.
‘I don’t know. It seems wrong even if it would make things a whole lot easier for us both.’ It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when your life comes down to this sort of subterfuge.
‘I can handle Cressida,’ he says, confidently and that worries me. He can’t handle her at all and I’ve witnessed that with my own eyes. In fact, this is the coward’s way out and his attempt to avoid confrontation.
‘I’ll tell her we’re taking it slowly to cement our relationship before we move on to the next level. She knows how cautious I am in every aspect of my life. I think that should do it, don’t you? It’s obvious we’ve both been feeling a little awkward but, ironically, that probably makes it seem even more believable. Clearly, we are both nervous being here together and at least that bit is true.’
He makes a funny face and I laugh good-naturedly.
‘And in return, you, a mystery man, drop me off at my ex in-laws’ house and I take it from there?’
‘Yep. I hang around just long enough to wave goodbye, so it’s clear I’m not a taxi driver. You give them the support they need and then when the moment presents itself, gently break the news that you’ve found someone else. They will immediately make the connection. When it’s time for you to head for home you can make a clean break of it and because they care about you they will understand.’
‘Well, maybe so. But the longer you and I are together in front of Cressida the more likely she will sense something doesn’t ring true.’
He pauses for a moment, raising one eyebrow as he considers the dilemma.
‘You’re heading off to spend Christmas with your family, which is only to be expected. We can text each other a bit and I’ll make that obvious to her. Trust me, with the kids running around she’ll have more than enough to contend with. As far as she’s concerned, once the holidays are over we pick up where we left off. At some point I can ring to tell her that we’ve split up, amicably, of course. I think she’ll just be relieved to know love isn’t totally off my agenda and that will give me some breathing space. What do you think? Is it a deal?’ He slips off a glove and I stare at his hand. It takes me a few moments before I shake on our arrangement.
‘I can’t believe I’m doing this,’ I remark as I withdraw my hand from his.
We stare into each other’s eyes rather hesitantly before exchanging an affirmative nod.
‘It seems desperate people do desperate things,’ he says. ‘So just to be clear, when we arrive back at the house nothing at all has changed but we play it up a bit.’
I jump in. ‘When the rest of your family arrive you formally introduce me as your girlfriend in earshot of Cressida to seal the deal. Later on, you whisk me away to spend Christmas with my family. A few texts and then we’re done, right?’
‘Yep. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me,’ he muses.
I’m a little shocked still by his proposal, but what have either of us got to lose? And, more importantly, just knowing we each have a temporary solution makes surviving Christmas a lot less daunting. It’s a win-win situation. I think. Unless it all goes wrong, of course. But then I won’t be around anyway… I’m overthinking this and Cary is wondering why I’m looking rather dumbstruck.
‘Okay, then. I intend to head home to the Cotswolds the day after Boxing Day and never return again. So, keep your fingers crossed for me.’
As he turns and we start to walk back he begins speaking and I can see that he’s serious.
‘I love Grandma and I would never want to hurt her. But I also hate to think she worries about me constantly when there’s really no need for it,’ he admits.
If he was the sort of person to sit down and talk about his future plans, I’m sure Cressida would be more relaxed about it. But this ‘shrug it off’ attitude of his gives the impression he gets up, goes to work, comes home and goes to bed. Like Groundhog Day. I’m positive it’s not as simple as that.
‘You have a very special relationship with her.’
Cary nods. ‘She’s everything to me. Grandma is charismatic and an eternal optimist, so how could anyone fail to love her? And a live wire. But how am I supposed to do battle with that? Well, the truth is that I can’t. I’m my own man and yet I also don’t want to be another man in her life who constantly disappoints her. That’s why I end up saying things I don’t even mean when she’s on my case.’
‘That’s some dilemma,’ I agree; now I have a slightly better understanding of the situation. ‘Obviously your grandmother means well but her dream for your future doesn’t seem to match with yours. At some point you need to communicate that to her, Cary.’
‘Is that another way of saying man up?’ he remarks. ‘I appreciate that you can see both sides of this argument, Leesa. With Grandma I seem to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time and I hate upsetting her. But life is a lot easier when you have total control and you don’t have anyone, or anything holding you back. And that’s where I am at, right now. That’s good enough for me but not for her.’
I wonder if Cary believes he has seen enough broken relationships, including his own, to put him off ever trying again? Maybe Cressida fears that’s the case, even before Cary himself is aware of it. Ha! It’s rather like me, really. Been there, done that and don’t want to go there again.
Either way, she would be appalled if she could hear us talking now. But sometimes in life your back is up against a wall and any way out seems like a good solution. However, to understand the enormity of that statement you must experience it firsthand.
When the situation arises it’s like having something hanging over you every waking moment and it sucks the joy out of life. Believe me, because I know; I often wake up at night in a cold sweat worrying about Gwen and Peter’s response when eventually that awkward and inevitable moment arrives and we say a final goodbye.
7
The Countdown Has Begun
Heading up the drive towards the house, we encounter a smart-looking dark-grey Range Rover Sport parked in front of it. Nicholas and another man are ferrying bags back and forth. One glance inside the open front door indicates a state of utter chaos inside.
‘Let the party begin,’ Cary mumbles, casting me a sideways glance as he walks up to the guy and throws his arms around him. After hefty pats on the back they do a man shake and then Cary steps back to look in my direction.
‘Laurence, let me introduce you to Leesa Oliv
er. She owns Dynamic Videography and I must give you her card. You never know when it might come in handy.’
Laurence looks nothing at all like Cary and it’s hard to believe they’re brothers. He’s well over six feet tall and has the ruddy complexion of a guy who enjoys outdoor pursuits. In fact, if I’m not mistaken it looks like he’s wearing a rugby jersey beneath his open jacket.
Laurence steps forward, hand outstretched and a big grin on his face. ‘Lovely to meet you, Leesa. If I’m ever in need of a videographer, I’ll know where to come.’
His eyes seem to be weighing me up before he turns to look across at his brother.
‘Not an easy man to work with, is he, Leesa?’ It’s only banter, I assume, because he’s still looking at Cary, but he hasn’t let go of my hand. I sort of tug it away and don’t quite know how to respond. Cary comes to the rescue.
‘Leesa’s a perfectionist, too, Laurence, so you can stop with the character assassination.’
I’m standing here watching them and wondering whether Cary will swing a punch in Laurence’s direction. Suddenly they both start laughing but I can see that Cary is nervous and maybe our little plan is already faltering.
‘Ah, well, I won’t need to disillusion her if you’ve already been working together. Anyway, we arrived a bit early as ordered and here are the keys. You do know that Robert would probably have run Leesa over to Caerphilly to save her wasting half the day here with you? I mean, it is Christmas Eve.’
‘The poor chap worked through the night ploughing the lane, so it was safe for you guys. Besides, as it’s my fault we were a couple of days late flying back I feel duty bound to deliver Leesa to her destination personally.’ He grinds to a halt and I give him an intense look, one that says get on with it.
A hesitant glance passes between them and I realise that Laurence is wondering what’s really going on here. But it’s not for me to say anything in case Cary has decided he can’t do this after all.
‘I don’t know this area at all and Cary was kind enough to take me down to the viaduct, which is a great walk. I’m sorry that you had to change your plans to accommodate me, though.’
Laurence bends to pick up the last two suitcases as Cary and I stand back to let him go ahead of us.
‘It wasn’t a problem. The kids have been up since the crack of dawn, anyway. Apologies in advance for the noise, they’re a bit hyperactive.’ He throws the words over his shoulder as we walk.
Entering the house there’s a mountain of jackets, kiddies’ back packs, larger suitcases and things. The sort of things that come with kids – comics, a book, a board game and several half-eaten bags of sweets – all strewn over the floor. Cressida is trying to listen to all three of the children talking at her in tandem. Watching them is a slim blonde lady who is obviously Laurence’s wife. She’s also busy sorting out a pile of little shoes so Cressida has to fend for herself.
‘Kids, stop!’ Laurence’s command seems to echo around the hallway as the chatter instantly halts. Catching sight of Cary, they turn and run towards him.
‘Uncle Cary!’ More high-pitched screeching ensues.
‘Oh, well, I tried. Leesa, this is my wife, Sally.’ Laurence has already lost interest in attempting to calm his brood.
The littlest one clasps onto Cary’s leg, the middle one throws her arms around his waist and the boy quietly awaits his turn. Cary notices he’s standing there looking rather left out and he bends to scoop him into a group hug.
‘Is this your girlfriend, Uncle Cary?’ The older of the two girls asks, looking in my direction and both Cary and I freeze.
‘Well, Daisy, as a matter of fact it is.’ He peers up at me trying hard to disguise a rather mischievous smile. It keeps tweaking at the corners of his mouth and I rather think he’s enjoying this moment. ‘Here we have Jackson, Daisy and Chloe. I’m just about to run Leesa home as we’ve been stranded here in the snow and her family are expecting her.’
Cressida steps forward to peel the girls away from Cary and steer the children in the direction of the sitting room. ‘Come on, lovelies, let’s get some music going. It is Christmas, after all!’ She flashes me the widest smile I’ve seen so far.
Sally turns to walk in our direction.
‘Hello, Leesa. Sorry about the noise and welcome to the mad house. Or maybe I should say, the mad family.’ She throws her arms around me, giving a genuinely welcoming hug and I’m touched.
I glance over her shoulder as Laurence joins in, ‘Well, this is a lovely surprise. It’s so like Cary, though, keeping us all in the dark.’
As she draws back, Sally turns to survey the heap on the floor, which Nicholas is now trying to assemble into some sort of order.
‘Shall I take the suitcases up first, Sally?’ he asks, and she nods.
‘Thank you, Nicholas, that would be great. Once they calm down I’ll get them to take their own backpacks and toys upstairs. Don’t let them run you ragged while we’re here, will you?’
He gives her a warm little smile, which she returns.
‘It’s fine. It’s nice to have a bit of noise going on for a change and the house really comes alive at Christmas.’
I think that’s the first thing I’ve heard Nicholas say. Clearly, he isn’t just a formal butler, but regarded as one of the family. It’s obvious from the way I’ve seen him hovering around Cressida that he hangs on her every word and I wonder if he, too, is captivated by such a warm, caring woman. Robert, Nicholas… and yet Cressida chose as a husband a man, it seems, she never succeeded in charming.
Suddenly, the strains of ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ filter out from the sitting room.
‘That will be down to Daisy.’ Sally turns to look at me. ‘She’s on YouTube checking out the Justin Bieber videos. The arguments are about to begin.’
I look at her, rather puzzled.
‘Jackson might be the eldest, but he’ll jump on his iPad and leave the girls to it. Chloe will very shortly start clamouring for ‘Gangnam Style’, as she loves to dance. Pity they didn’t record a Christmas one with the same moves—’
‘I don’t want this one, I don’t want this one,’ a not-so-little voice pipes up, loud enough to be heard over the music and carry out into the hallway.
‘I’d better go and rescue Cressida. Chloe has problems handling the word no at the moment. Please excuse me.’ With that Sally turns and hurries away.
‘Here you go, bro,’ Laurence hands Cary the keys, jingling them in front of him.
As Cary takes them from him, Laurence turns to me.
‘Are you staying for lunch, or do you need to shoot straight off?’
Cary looks like he’s already had enough and needs a breather. If we leave now, I figure that at least he’ll be walking back in a little more prepared, ready to face an onslaught of questions.
‘I ought to go as I’m already a day late. If we leave now, Cary, you will make it back in time for a relaxing family lunch. My bag is packed so it will only take me a few minutes to grab my things and thank Cressida for her hospitality.’
Cary looks relieved, although Laurence looks rather disappointed. I head off to say a quick goodbye to Cressida and the kids. Of course, I wasn’t going to be allowed to leave before promising that I would be back very soon for a real visit. It was probably the most uncomfortable few minutes of my stay, and that’s saying something.
They all seemed so genuinely happy for Cary. But as he shuts the front door behind us and we head for the car, we both breathe out a huge sigh of relief. Obviously, actors do a lot of rehearsing for a very good reason.
‘Oh well,’ Cary says as he lifts my luggage into the boot. ‘It could have been worse.’
Maybe.
‘Well, we timed that right, skipping out before the questioning begins in earnest. Well played, Leesa. At least I can give some thought to what I’m going to say when I get back.’
Cary cranes his neck to look both ways before pulling out of the lane. ‘By the time I get back th
e kids will have calmed down a bit before they begin vying for my attention again. They’re easier to handle one at a time but it seldom works out like that.’
I’m beginning to understand now, why Cary knew exactly what to do to keep Hayden quiet on the plane.
‘Is that why you don’t go back there very often?’
I turn to study Cary’s profile as he keeps his eyes firmly fixed on the road ahead. Thankfully the gritter lorries have been out in force and the motorway is just a slushy mess. It’s simply a case of making sure we don’t drift into the mounds of snow piled high on the verges.
‘Not at all. I probably make it as often as the rest of the family. Laurence and the crew turn up three or four times a year, at most. But then, every trip away is a major exercise for them. Well, for Sally, who runs the whole operation as if it’s a military campaign. But Grandma has deadlines, anyway, and quite a busy social life.’
He turns his head slightly to check the rear-view mirror.
‘Laurence runs, and part-owns, a health spa. Have you heard of the Downey House Retreat?’
The name isn’t familiar to me but then I only find myself this side of the Severn whenever I’m visiting Gwen and Peter.
‘Can’t say I have. Looking at him it’s obvious he loves sport.’
Cary chuckles.
‘He likes to keep himself fit. Which is a part of the problem.’
‘Problem?’
Cary nods. ‘Between Sally and Laurence. Sally is home with the kids all the time and if Laurence isn’t working he’s organising sporting events. It is a part of his job, but it eats into their quality time as a family.’
Sally certainly looked drained, but I suppose having three young children to look after pretty much on her own, as it sounds, means her hands are full.
‘Poor Sally. Looking after kids isn’t easy. Give me work, any day.’ I remark.
‘You don’t like kids?’ Cary turns his head for a second, sounding surprised by my reaction.
I chew my lip pensively for a moment as emotion wells up inside me, unbidden. ‘It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s more that I don’t think I have that nurturing instinct in me.’ You have to be chosen to cherish a little life coming into this world, and apparently I haven’t been. This isn’t a subject I care to discuss at the best of times, let alone with someone I hardly know. My future is now mapped out and having kids isn’t a part of it, but that’s my business.
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