by A R McKinnon
"He's going to be a handful that one. Mother and baby are doing well though. I'm sorry I've been so busy with them lately."
Even when she was over, he'd often leave her to check on them. It didn't bother Lucy, but she could tell that Grayson felt bad for neglecting her.
They talked about Beau for a while and Lucy felt herself drifting back to sleep, but when Grayson said something about the barbeque her eyes flew open.
"I assume Allison asked you to go?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to go?"
"I probably should otherwise Allison will pester the hell out of me." She held back a groan at the thought of going though. She hated gatherings where she didn't know many people. Usually she pulled out the overly bubbly chatty extrovert that everyone expected from her, but it didn't always come naturally and wasn't always comfortable. She didn't look forward to putting on the show given how poorly she was feeling.
"You can come back here with me afterwards if you want to pack a bag."
The way that Grayson phrased it made it seem like a forgone conclusion that she'd be at his place for the weekend.
Lucy bit her lip to avoid letting the words that would disappoint him slip out. During the time that they had been seeing each other Grayson had pointed out that she had two very distinct ways of dealing with things. She either bit her lip to hold things in, or she fidgeted.
He was trying to break her of the habit by making her be still. He called it being in the moment, he said it was very important when indulging in BDSM. Grayson would reward her when she was able to do as he'd asked, and punish her when she couldn't.
He'd even taken to having her choose her punishments. Would she rather be still and reflect on why he was displeased with her or did she want a spanking?
Most of the time she took the spanking. There was something deliciously decadent about stinging contact of his hand on her naked flesh, but more and more often he didn't give her the choice. Lucy was beginning to think it was because he'd caught on to how much she loved the physical contact that she got from his spankings.
"Lucy you've gone quiet on me. Did you hear what I said?"
"No, I'm sorry, I’m just really tired."
"I don't think that's the entire reason for your distraction, but since there isn't much I can do about it at the moment I'll let you go for now."
The authority in his voice sent shivers up her spine. She hung up the phone a small sigh escaping her. She was quickly becoming addicted to Grayson. She was afraid it was too late to do anything about it.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The ground was spongy from the recent rainfall, and Lucy was glad she'd worn flats rather than heels as she watched yet another woman dig her shoes out of the soft dirt.
She let her eyes scan the crowd again. She'd been at the party for almost an hour and she still hadn't seen Grayson. Lucy was beginning to wonder if he was purposely avoiding her. She swallowed harshly, feeling lightheaded. She stopped looking for Grayson and started looking for somewhere to sit down.
Allison had been by to talk to her and had introduced Lucy to a few other people knowing full well that she would be uncomfortable, but Allison had more people she had to talk to, as one of the hosts of the barbeque.
GRAYSON WATCHED HER from across the yard. Lucy hadn't spotted him yet, so he took the time to indulge himself. Enjoying her natural and unguarded expressions. Normally her gaze zeroed in on him within minutes of them being in the same room, and his would do the same, so he rarely got to see the way she moved or her expressions when she wasn't with him, but today she seemed just slightly off.
He noticed the annoyed look on her face and decided that he'd indulged enough. He made his way to her slowly. He could pinpoint the exact moment she finally spotted him. Her entire face lit up with a dazzling smile. It made his own smile wider.
"If you hadn't insisted so strongly on keeping our relationship quiet, I'd be kissing you now in a way that left no doubt to anyone here that I'd be making love to you as soon as we left."
Grayson was surprised when she leaned into him rather than pulling away. "I'm not sure I care any more." He wasn't sure either as he stared at the lush curve of her lower lip.
He shook his head slowly trying to think past the lust.
"Oh, no you don't. No changing your mind halfway through things. Not without a little negotiating first." Grayson wouldn't have her doing things like that. Julia pulled crap like that all the time. It was a part of the reason he was fighting with his family now, and the main reason they thought he was an abusive prick.
Lucy swayed further forward, and Grayson realized that she wasn't trying to steal a kiss. He caught her as she swooned. As soon as he touched her, he realized heat was radiating from her skin.
"Lucy?" Grayson cradled her gently against his chest.
"What happened?" Allison's voice was anxious and out of breath, having run to them when she saw Lucy pitch forward.
"I don't know. She just collapsed." Allison pulled out her cell phone and called an ambulance as Grayson laid Lucy on the grass.
"Come on darlin' open your eyes." Someone handed Grayson a cool damp cloth. He didn't bother looking up but instead pressed the cloth to Lucy's forehead, barely mumbling a thank you.
Lucy's eyelids fluttered lifting briefly before sinking closed again. She let out a little groan and Grayson squeezed her hand trying to get her to respond.
"Probably drugs or something." Someone sneered behind them causing an angry growl to escape from between Grayson's clenched teeth, but he didn't respond. Instead his entire focus was on Lucy, while his heart raced with fear that something could be seriously wrong with her.
***
WHEN SHE FINALLY opened her eyes, it was to a room she didn't know. panic flooded her system causing the beeping in the room to increase in intensity.
"Hey calm down." Lucy turned her head and Grayson smiled at her. It was enough to slow her heart rate. She watched as he reached over and firmly pressed the call button for the nurse’s station.
"I hate hospitals." She knew her voice was whiny, but she couldn’t help it.
"Is that why you let something that could have been cleared up easily become a raging infection?" The doctor asked from the hallway. Lucy blushed shame coloring her face bright red, and felt Grayson tense in her grasp. He scowled at her reaction.
"Great bedside manner you've got there Doc." Grayson admonished pinning the doctor with a hard stare.
Lucy watched the doctor flush under his tan. He has the grace to look embarrassed but doesn't apologize.
Lucy listened as he explained that she had somehow contracted an infection that had spread and was in danger of spreading further. Her breath lodged in her throat when the doctor explained that they had placed her on intravenous antibiotics and would be keeping her overnight for observation.
She almost refused to stay but a stern look from Grayson had her reconsidering.
"So, what's really up with not taking better care of yourself?" Grayson asked once the doctor had left the room. "Is it honestly that you don't like hospitals? Or is there more to it than that?"
Lucy chewed on her lower lip wondering how much to reveal. His gentle reminder that he was counting punishments made her smile putting her at ease enough to tell him the whole truth.
"You underestimate how much I dislike hospitals. Even the smell turns my stomach. My mom died of breast cancer in a room just like this, so yeah, I avoid doctors, hospitals and anything medical that I can."
Grayson leaned back in the chair next to the bed and Lucy could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he pondered her answer. What he came out with was shocking.
“That's dumb. You know, that right? I mean you made yourself seriously ill for something that was easily fixable."
"It's a phobia Grayson. It doesn't follow logic." She knew she was being bitchy, but she couldn't curb the impulse to take a jab at him.
"I realize that Luce, but you're a grown
woman. You need to work harder at stuff like this."
"You know what I don't need? Someone to come in and play daddy this late in the game. You aren't my keeper Grayson!" She was getting agitated and the machine monitoring her pulse was steadily picking up speed. She watched Grayson's gaze flicker to the numbers and realized he was doing exactly what she accused him of he was playing her keeper.
"Would you stop? Just stop!"
"Lucy you're sick. I'm concerned."
"Can you just go?" She sank back into the pillows feeling deflated. It was as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. "I really don't feel well, and I don't want to say something that I don't mean."
"Fine, but I'll be back tomorrow." He stood and kissed her forehead giving her hand a small squeeze before leaving the room.
As soon as he was gone, Lucy regretted the decision to send him away. At least with him here the room didn't feel like it was shrinking in on itself. Now it was sure to be a long night.
***
She gripped the doorframe, afraid to take another step. Sweat coated the backs of her knees as they trembled. Someone shoved her from behind forcing her into the room before she was ready.
She stared at the form laying in the bed unable to avert her gaze. She could no longer call it her mother. The cancer had sucked the person away leaving only the husk of a body behind, skin stretched taunt to bone and gray in color. Her mother was far from here, and this was all that was left behind.
Her feet were stuck to the floor, her body frozen to the spot. Lucy opened her mouth to scream as the form slowly morphed, until Lucy was staring at a sick and painful version of herself. No sound came from the scream instead the smell of disinfectant covering death and decay filled her lungs making her gag.
***
Lucy bolted upward in the bed, the remnants of the dream still clinging to her. The smell of antiseptic heavily coating her nostrils.
"Geez it's about time you woke up. I thought you'd carry on whimpering and thrashing right up until Grayson showed up."
"What are you doing here?" Lucy's voice cracked fear of the dream still influencing her, the fear was fading though. She had already lived that nightmare. Now she was left with confusion staring at Melanie who was lounging in the chair Grayson occupied the day before.
"Just came to have a little chat. You know, girl talk, one on one. Can't let him catch me here though or he'd paddle my ass for sure." Melanie sighed and Lucy wanted to puke seeing the wistful longing that overtook her expression.
Melanie stayed that way while she thought of Grayson, and then the wistful look melted away and the cold hard anger was back.
"You really should drop this desperate act. It's not going to work no matter how much it appeals to Grayson's white knight notions."
"What are you doing Melanie?" Lucy asked again ready to press the call button for the nurse.
"Don't. Just wait. I just wanted to talk to you. He wouldn't even let me in the house the day you were there."
"The day you were shoving your tongue down his throat for my benefit you mean?" It was one of the reasons that Lucy had been able to keep her cool. She'd seen it for the desperate attempt it was.
Melanie banded her fist against the arm of the chair. "It's not fair if he wasn't so preoccupied with you, he'd still be willing to play with me! He won't love you; you know. He only has room in his life for Julia. Julia has his whole heart and no matter what you do you'll never get a single piece of it. I never did and neither will you. You can't even compare." With that parting shot Melanie stormed out of the room leaving Lucy staring dumbfounded after her. Lucy could understand Melanie's desperation, having experienced Grayson's brand of sensuality.
"YOU LEFT THE hospital? Are you crazy?" Grayson had come to see her as soon as visiting hours had started only to find that she'd left, against medical advice. "Lucy! What were you thinking?" She still looked sick and weak; it was not a good combination for his nerves.
"You're doing it again." She tried to look angry but was failing from on her back on the couch.
"Doing what?"
"Playing daddy again. I don't want, or need it, Grayson. I don't. I haven't had it in a long time and quite frankly it's not my kink."
"Not your kink?" He asked, eyebrow arched. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't need your pity. I don't need some white knight to save me, and I certainly don't need your ex-lovers telling me I don't measure up."
"Wait, what?" Grayson had been fuming, but her last statement froze his blood. "What are you talking about?" He asked again when she pressed her lips together.
She sighed looking away. "I woke up this morning to find Melanie in my room. She proceeded to tell me how I was only your new pet project, and how if she's couldn't measure up to your precious Julia neither would I. She basically told me she was counting the days until you dropped me like last weeks garbage so the two of you could play together again"
Lucy continued to avoid his eyes as she spoke, and he could tell that the visit had both disturbed her and hurt her feelings.
"She was in my room. Watching me sleep." Grayson could see the tremor that ran through her nerves. “It was super creepy."
Grayson sat on the couch pulling her feet into his lap needing a physical connection with her. What Melanie had done seemed extreme. He was angry that she'd bring up Julia.
As if reading his mind Lucy asks. "Who's Julia? Your ex, right?"
The sound of Julia's name falling from her lips makes him cringe. He'd figured questions about their past were coming. They had been spending a lot of time together, he just thought the questions were further out than today.
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I can feel how much you've tensed up." she said, her voice soft. It was the same tone she used when she'd slipped into a more submissive mindset and was deferring to his desires
"I can't talk about it right now. I will tell you one day, but not today. Today I can't." Grayson stroked her cheek trying to give her the reassurance of his touch even though talking about Julia was twisting his gut into knots.
"Do you still love her?" Lucy shifted away from him as she asked, picking at a loose thread on the blanket covering her. He recognized her attempt to do anything to avoid looking at him too closely. "It's okay if you do, I mean we haven't made any promises to each other."
Grayson cupped her chin in his palm forcing her to look at him. "I make a promise to you every time I touch you. Don't cheapen it by making it out to be less than it's worth just because it's new."
***
Grayson banged on Melanie's door and cringed as soon as she answered. The smug smile that curved her lips was enough to tell him she thought he'd come crawling.
"Grayson, please come in." Melanie's soft flirty tone grated on his nerves. She knew he was with Lucy. It pissed him off that she was blatantly ignoring that fact. He stepped inside far enough to close the door.
"I won't bite, unless you want me to." Melanie reached out to touch him, but Grayson caught her hand keeping her at bay."
"I didn't come here for that, and you know it." Grayson made sure to maintain eye contact with her pressing his point across hard. "If you keep this shit up I'll ban you from the club, if that's not enough to make you behave I'll spread the word to other clubs in the area" He watched her eyes widen in shock as the weight of his threat sank in.
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh, I would, and you know it, but test me and you'll find out how serious I am."
"You can't do that!" Melanie was screeching.
Grayson kept his voice low, his tone calm and even. "We're done. Even if I wasn't seeing Lucy. We only did a few scenes together in the club, stop trying to make it seem like more than it was." Grayson watched Melanie nod before he turned to leave. He knew he would discuss her behavior with Jackson to make sure she stayed in line. He’d avoid taking the issue to the police, not wanting to go through the trauma of them tearing through his life again, and the threat of ostr
acizing her from the BDSM community should be enough to keep her from causing more trouble for him and Lucy.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The infection had her laid up for several days. The antibiotics made her nauseous, making it difficult to keep food down. It pissed Grayson off. She'd never seen someone so livid.
"Don't you have horses to look after, and a sex club to run?"
"I already told you darlin' I brought in some help to cover with the horses while I'm unavailable." Grayson called from the kitchen. Lucy shook her head marvelling at how comfortable he'd made himself since her escape from the hospital.
"What about the club?" She asked looking up from reading Allison's latest manuscript. It wasn't that she didn't like having him around. Truthfully, she liked it too much.
"A friend has stepped in to help manage. I'm not going anywhere. Now quit trying to push me away." Lucy wasn't shocked by his direct reprimand. He always tried to be honest with her. When he'd asked the other day if she wanted him to leave, she'd been brave enough - or stupid enough, depending on how you looked at it, to tell him she liked having him there. She'd even gone so far as to tell him that it made her feel better.
Lucy couldn't shake the feeling that she was playing straight into damsel in distress role just as Melanie had said. She shivered thinking about waking up with Melanie staring at her as if she were a specimen to be examined.
Grayson told her she didn't have to worry about anything like that happening again. He said he'd taken care of it, but what that really meant she didn't know.
The doorbell rang and Lucy didn't think twice about letting Grayson answer it, but as soon as she heard the voice from the doorway, she cringed wishing they'd ignored the door and had hidden under the bed.
"Why is there a strange man answering your door Lucille?" Her aunt Edith made to push past Grayson, but he blocked her path.
"Sorry, ma'am I'm going to have to insist you wait for an invitation."
