by Ivy Smoak
Barf.
Rob laughed. “What’s it really like, Sanders?”
Matt shifted in his seat, making his thigh brush against mine and distracting me from Rob’s question.
“Interesting,” I said. It came out as more of a question than anything and Rob laughed.
“You’re hilarious, Sissy,” Isabella said. “I’m always telling her that.”
What the hell kind of game was she playing here? I realized that in all the awkwardness, I’d forgotten to introduce Kennedy. “Oh and guys, this is Kennedy,” I said.
“You’re dating Cupcake, right?” Rob asked.
“Mhm.” Kennedy’s voice had never sounded so small before. I wondered if she truly was sick.
“Speaking of dating,” Isabella said and batted her eyelashes at James. “How’s your girlfriend handling the Harvard news?”
Matt had told me the other night that James’ parents were giving him an ultimatum. His girlfriend or Harvard. It was like Isabella had been waiting for the perfect time to make this jab at him. What was her problem?
James ran his fingers through his hair, looking more distressed than he had after I brought up Harvard in the first place.
I studied his face. Or did he just look…sad? I tried to view him like Matt did. The drinking. The drugs. His behavior was sporadic. But his general mood wasn’t. James Hunter was always sad. It was one of the first things I ever noticed about him.
“You have told her, haven’t you?” Isabella asked when James didn’t respond.
“Isabella, stop it,” Matt said.
“Oh no,” she said. “You have to tell her the truth about this. Secrets are so toxic in relationships. Isn’t that right, Matthew?” she said and turned to him.
I was pretty sure I stopped breathing. No. No, no, no.
“I know you guys were thinking that I’d never let Brooklyn sit with us again after that milk spilled on her the other day. Let alone that I’d extend the invitation to her little friend. But that was before I realized that she actually is one of us. Isn’t that right, Sissy?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. But I was scared I did. She had to be talking about me dating Matt. What else could it possibly be? Mr. Pruitt said he’d talk to her. Had he really told her everything? He’d said he’d fix it. Not make it a million times worse. Damn it, Mr. Pruitt! This was why Isabella invited me over here. To torture me again. She’d even let me sit right next to Matt so she could publicly shame both of us.
Isabella frowned. “Of course you do. You’re dating Matthew. And by extension, you’re one of us now.”
Everyone at the table was eerily quiet.
James raised his left eyebrow and stared at Matt like he was trying to figure out why he’d been left out of the loop.
I didn’t know what to say. And clearly Matt didn’t know what to say. Did this mean that we were in the clear? That she was done blackmailing him? Maybe Mr. Pruitt had actually fixed it.
“You ruined the surprise,” Kennedy said, finally breaking the silence. “They were planning on telling everyone later this week.” She kicked me under the table. “Right, Brooklyn?”
I bit the inside of my lip so I wouldn’t yelp. “Yeah.”
Matt seemed to relax next to me.
“It’s about time you asked her out,” Mason said. “He’s been crushing on you since the beginning of the semester.”
I could feel my cheeks turning red.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Mason said to Rob. “Did you know?”
Rob shrugged. “Yeah, I have a class with them. They’re kind of ridiculous. Always making me feel like I’m third-wheeling on our group project.” He winked at me.
“Why didn’t you tell us, Matt?” James asked.
“Dating someone our parents don’t approve of isn’t exactly working out so well for you,” Rob said.
I felt myself sinking in my chair. I knew that’s what Rob thought. That I was from the wrong part of town. That Matt’s parents wouldn’t accept me. Matt had just let Rob assume he was embarrassed of me. It stung.
“That’s not it,” Matt said. “I don’t care what Mom or Dad think. They’ll probably love her.” He looked over at me, the first time really acknowledging me in front of all his friends. “But none of that matters. Because I love her.”
For a second, everyone drifted away. All I saw was him. And he slid his hand into mine, showing our solidarity. It was the first public display of affection we were ever allowed to have at Empire High. And I was smiling so hard it hurt.
“So why didn’t you tell everyone right away then?” Isabella asked. “If it wasn’t the very reasonable idea that you were embarrassed of her upbringing and where she lived and how she, you know…carries herself.” She waved her hand at me like that explained everything.
“Secret relationships are fun,” Kennedy said, trying her best to stand up for me. “The forbidden aspect and all that? They were just having fun sneaking around.”
“We both know that’s not it, sweetie,” Isabella said. “Matt, I think it’s about time you told James the truth, don’t you? Come clean. The truth shall set you free.”
She was a murderous psychopath. And now she was quoting scripture? This girl was completely nuts.
“What is she talking about?” James asked.
“Nothing.” Matt was glaring at Isabella. “Can I talk to you in private? Now?” He pulled his hand out of mine.
“Why? I think it’s time we put it all out there. I mean, you finally came clean about your charity case of a girlfriend. Why not admit to the rest of it?”
I wanted to know what Isabella had on Matt. Desperately. But not like this. Not right in front of James when Matt swore it was going to hurt him.
“Isabella…” I started.
“Shut your Daddy-stealing mouth. I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your whore of a boyfriend who owes my future hubby an apology.”
I didn’t close my mouth because she’d told me to. I closed it because I wanted to know why she’d described Matt as a whore. And how it had anything to do with James.
“James, can I talk to you for a second?” Matt said.
“No, Matthew. Here. Now. You have five seconds to tell him the truth or I’ll tell him for you.”
“This is going to sound bad,” Matt started. “But I swear James, if you give me a chance to explain, it’s not what you think…”
“Oh, it’s exactly what he’s going to think. When I was referring to secrets, I didn’t actually mean your secret relationship. I was referring to the fact that you’re a liar. And manipulative. And a pretty terrible friend.” She reached out and grabbed James’ arm. "Remember that party over the summer where you and Rachel had that huge fight? Matt was there to console her.” She paused and a sinister smile crept over her face. “Sexually that is. I caught them in the act in the pool house.”
“What the fuck, Isabella?” Matt yelled. “That’s not even close to what happened.”
“Did you have sex with Rachel?” James asked. His voice was calm. Cold. Calculated.
Everything about the way James spoke made me want to hide under the table. But I was glued to my seat. Matt had slept with James’ girlfriend? That was what Isabella was blackmailing him for? He wasn’t allowed to speak to me in public because he’d slept with someone else? It didn’t even feel like he wanted to keep it from James. It felt a lot more like he was just keeping it from me. My whole body went cold.
“You know I wouldn’t do that,” Matt said. “It was all Rachel. She was upset and she…”
James lunged across the table, his hands making perfect contact with Matt’s throat.
Kennedy screamed and more students joined in.
Mason grabbed James by the back of his blazer, pulling him off. “Stop it! Both of you!”
“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” James said.
“I didn’t do anything! Rachel kissed me and…”
“Get her name out of your mouth!” James shov
ed Mason off of him. “Fucking asshole.” Instead of trying to attack Matt again he stormed out of the cafeteria. But not before his fist collided with one of the windows. The sound of glass shattering echoed all around us.
For just a second, no one moved. Or spoke. All I could hear was my own breathing.
But then Matt went to follow James.
“Don’t,” Rob said and stopped him in his tracks. “What the fuck, man? How could you do that to him? You of all people?”
“I didn’t. Rachel…”
“Nice, take the high road and blame his girlfriend? Screw you.”
Matt shoved his way past him, beelining toward the doors James had just gone through. I felt myself shrinking all over again. He hadn’t looked at me once. Not once since the truth had come out. But it was better that he hadn’t. Because Rob was right. It took two people to kiss. Matt had gone on and on about not wanting James to get hurt. When really? He’d already hurt him. Matt didn’t care about anyone but himself.
“Daddy said I shouldn’t tell,” Isabella said. “But I decided not to listen. Because I think everything is better out in the open. Don’t you agree?”
“You’re a nasty bitch, Isabella,” Rob said.
I’m pretty sure everyone was thinking it. But she still looked shocked that someone had actually said it out loud.
She rolled her eyes. “And you’re a little twerp who uses humor to hide from the fact that he’s living in his brother’s shadow. I was hoping we could all discuss this like adults, but clearly I’ve overlooked the fact that you’re all so juvenile. Ladies,” she said and turned to her friends who were sitting in silence watching their horrid ringleader. “Let’s go.”
All her minions stood as one and followed her from the table.
“Did you know?” Rob asked me. He sounded hurt. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what Isabella said or if he was somehow channeling James’ pain. Maybe it was both.
“No. He said we had to keep our relationship a secret because Isabella was blackmailing him. He never told me what she had on him. He’d hinted that if it came out it might hurt James.” I shook my head. I was such an idiot. What else would have hurt James?
Rob sighed like the weight of the world had just been put on his shoulders. If Matt was right about James, maybe it had. What if James tried to hurt himself? What if I was the only one besides Matt who realized he might?
“I should go stop them before they try to kill each other again,” Rob said.
Mason stood up. “I’ll come with you. Kennedy, do you mind telling your boyfriend I need to talk to him?”
She nodded.
“Thanks. He’s probably the only one that has something to smooth this over.” Mason followed Rob out of the cafeteria.
“Are you okay?” Kennedy asked.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t.
“I guess I should go find Cupcake. I’ll see you later.” She dumped her tray of uneaten food in the garbage and hurried off.
I didn’t know if she was sick. Or if she hated me. All I could think about was how many times I had dreamed of sitting at the Untouchables’ table. The first time I’d been here, Isabella poured milk on me. And this second time? I was sitting all alone at their table. Isabella had tricked me with her fake niceness again. I was so naive.
I stared at the empty table. I’d been right all along. I didn’t belong in their world. I didn’t want to be an Untouchable. And I didn’t want to be with someone like Matt.
Chapter 19
Monday
“Please, Miller,” I said from the back seat. I tried to hide my tears from him. Matt and Rob hadn’t shown up to our entrepreneurship class. I hadn’t seen any of the Untouchables the rest of the day. Even Isabella had left me all alone. Felix was ghosting me. And Kennedy hadn’t shown up with a smile and her camera at my locker to walk me out of school. It was like the whole school was hushed. And being alone with my thoughts? I felt like I was being swallowed whole. I needed my best friend. I had to go see Kennedy. I needed to fix whatever was broken between us before I lost everything.
“She’s not on the list,” Miller said.
“Please.” My voice cracked.
He didn’t respond. He just kept driving in the opposite direction of my old neighborhood. “Only if you tell me what’s wrong,” he said.
I lifted my face out of my hands. “It doesn’t matter.” Blabbing on Isabella the first time just made everything worse. I wouldn’t be making the same mistake twice like I had at lunch. As far as I was concerned, around Mr. Pruitt and his staff, Isabella’s name would never fall from my lips again.
“It matters. Tell me and I’ll turn the car around.”
For the first time since James had lunged across the table at Matt, I felt a teensy bit of hope. Miller was going to let me see Kennedy. “There was a fight at school…”
“Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
“No. Nothing like that.” How could I say this without incriminating my devil sister? “Everything just blew up between some of my friends. Matt…he…lied.” I know he technically just hadn’t told me the truth. But the truth was momentous enough that his omission felt even worse than a lie.
Miller kept driving in the wrong direction, so I figured he needed more than that.
“James is upset with him. They’re all upset with each other. And I just need to talk to Kennedy.”
He still didn’t turn around.
“I think she’s upset about what happened at Felix’s this weekend. I haven’t had a chance to clear the air with her.”
No response.
“And Felix is mad at me too. I’m pretty sure you already knew that. Can you please, please just take me to Kennedy’s? She’s the only person still speaking to me and I’m worried that she’s going to pull the plug on our friendship too. And I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Miller put on his blinker and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I didn’t say anything else in fear that he’d change his mind. When we pulled up to the curb of my old apartment building, I practically flew out of the car.
I pressed the call button. “Mrs. Alcaraz, it’s me…”
The door buzzed before I even had a chance to explain why I was there. I didn’t even realize that Miller was following me until I heard his heavy footsteps behind me on the rickety old stairs.
Mrs. Alcaraz was standing in her doorway, an apron around her waist and the smell of delicious food hanging in the air around her. “Mi amor.” She pulled me into her embrace and I felt calmer than I had in days. The familiar smell of spices in the air and the soft fabric of her worn clothes almost made me want to start crying again, but this time from joy. It was so good to be home. She squeezed me so tight, like she was happy I was home too. I didn’t ever want to let go.
“I’m so glad you’re here. She won’t talk to me,” Mrs. Alcaraz said. “I’m worried sick.”
I pulled myself out of her arms. I guess I wasn’t the only one worried about Kennedy. But Kennedy and her mom talked about everything. I was surprised Mrs. Alcaraz wasn’t shaking her head at me for being a terrible friend.
“No,” she said before I could respond. “You are not allowed in my home. Be gone.”
I turned around to see Miller standing there awkwardly. “It’s okay, Mrs. Alcaraz. He’s one of the good ones.”
She’d reserved all her head shaking for Miller. “Nunca. Not in mi casa.” She untied her apron like she was going to whack him with it.
“Please, Mrs. Alcaraz.” I grabbed her hand to prevent her from whatever she was about to do. “I’m not allowed to come in unless he comes too.”
She sighed and lowered her slapping hand. “Mi amor, do not trust a rat.”
It was probably one of the rudest things I had ever heard her say. But I didn’t have the energy to diffuse the tension. I needed to see Kennedy.
“Please just don’t touch anything,” I said to Miller as I stepped past Mrs. Alcaraz. The last thing I needed w
as for him to turn over every lamp and couch cushion in their small apartment. There wasn’t anything dangerous here. Especially since it seemed like the only person who wanted me dead was Isabella. And she’d never be caught dead in a place like this.
I knocked on Kennedy’s bedroom door but there was no response. Less than a week ago, this had been my room too. As far as I was concerned, she couldn’t kick me out of our room. I opened the door.
Kennedy was curled up in a ball on her bed, staring at the wall. Staring at nothing at all.
“Kennedy?”
She didn’t turn her head, but I heard the distinct sound of her sniffling.
“Kennedy?”
She still didn’t acknowledge me.
And that was fine. Because I knew what she needed, and right now that wasn’t words. I kicked off my shoes and climbed in bed beside her. I wrapped my arms around her and her body shuddered as her tears started anew. I just held her tighter. And the longer she let me hold her like this, the more sure I was that I wasn’t the one she was mad at.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” I whispered.
“I can’t.”
“You can tell me anything. You know that.”
She wiped at her eyes and turned to face me. “I lied at lunch. I’m not dating Cupcake anymore.”
“What happened?”
She sniffed. “He dumped me.”
So maybe I wasn’t the only one that understood her confession of falling for drug dealers, plural. “Well, he’s an idiot,” I said. “Screw him.”
She didn’t say anything. “I told him I loved him. The day before we all hung out. And he said it back. How could he just change his mind?” She pulled her knees up to her chest.
“Like I said, he’s an idiot. Hey,” I said and grabbed her knee. “Don’t waste any more time thinking about him.”
“How can I not? I gave him everything. He tricked me.”
My stomach dropped. “What do you mean by that?”
“That wasn’t the first time he drugged me without me knowing, Brooklyn. I didn’t even have any idea he was selling. God, I’m such an idiot. Apparently I was high when I told him I loved him the other night. And when I let him have sex with me.” Her voice was so quiet, I barely even heard her.
