I ignored her. I decided to stop living for his approval a long time ago. His feelings about my relationship with Steven were irrelevant. But there was one thing I needed to know.
“If I decide to bring Steven, am I disinvited?” I asked the question quietly, knowing that our relationship was hanging by a thread.
“If the only way I can get you to come to my wedding is to allow you to ruin it, I’m not left with a great choice, am I?”
We were both silent for a long moment until she sighed wearily. “I can’t deal with this right now. When you can find time to come home for a fitting, give me a call and we can talk about this. We will both have had time to calm down and think rationally.”
I opened my mouth to say that time wasn’t going to erase her selfishness, but she’d already disconnected.
Chapter Twenty-Five
*Steven*
All month I’d been working a few days a week from Dan’s apartment. At first, the change had been boring and annoying. I enjoyed the bustle of the office—of busy people, the interaction, and ambient noise of ringing phones and humming electronics.
But I enjoyed watching Wally too, and as the weeks went on, I didn’t mind hanging out in Dan’s apartment so much. It was clean and nicely decorated—if you liked dark wood, leather, and the let’s-retire-to-the-study-for-cigars-and-whisky vibe—and, best of all, Wally’s doggy butt stayed far away from my new rug.
Today, I hadn’t been getting much work done. I’d spent the morning half-heartedly reviewing expense reports, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Ken and his strange behavior from the night before, so I decided to take the dog out for a long walk. I felt safe taking Wally out, he had a very protective nature and could be intimidating when he felt like it. Plus, the weather was sunny and warm, which meant the park was teeming with people, even on a weekday. I really needed the walk, the air, and the time to think about Ken. He was being weird again.
Just when I thought Weird Ken was gone, replaced by the confident and sexy McPretty MD, he’d shown back up to keep me on my toes.
Weird Ken, Prickly Ken, Fidgety Ken—I still adored him, but I didn’t like that he seemed troubled. He seemed distracted and restless. He was chewing gum like a madman and hardly ate any dinner. More than once I caught him staring blankly at nothing, like he was deep in thought.
When I asked him if he wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him, he said for me not to worry, that he was under a lot of ‘bullshit stress’ and it wasn’t my problem. I knew he hadn’t meant for it to come across rudely, but it sure sounded like he told me to mind my own business. So, I had, and I did my best to not take it personally.
When we went to bed, it was the first night together where we hadn’t fallen, tangled and suctioned to each other, racing toward orgasm. Instead, we turned off the lights, stripped off our clothes and Ken pulled me to him, laying a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips.
Can we—can I just hold you tonight? I just want to feel your heat. I’m tired. And cold.
Something was definitely going on with him, and it was all I could think about today.
Not long after I had returned from the walk, there was a knock at the door. I hurriedly corralled the dog into a bedroom to avoid any undue excitement and was surprised to find Kat waiting in the hall. Her expression didn’t change at the sight of me answering Dan’s door, but still I asked, “Are you here for me?”
“Yes. Dan said you were here.”
I perked up at this news. Dan and Kat rarely conversed with each other, and for her to have had a conversation with him meant she had to be having some big feelings right now.
“You spoke to Dan?” I motioned her inside. “Tell me everything.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she said. “You know he doesn’t think of me that way.”
Like hell.
But I could understand why she thought so. “Maybe because you avoid him,” I chided. He couldn’t really show interest when she made herself invisible.
“You know why I avoid him,” she replied.
I really, really don’t, I thought. She had a huge crush on Dan, and he was no longer involved with anyone, so I didn’t see why these crazy kids couldn’t at least get their flirt on. There must have been something that went down between them, something that presented more of a hurdle than just her shyness. But what it was, remained a mystery to me.
“I needed to speak to you and Dan told me where you were, that’s all.”
I watched her take in Dan’s displayed photos with a rapt expression. She looked as if she were trying to absorb every detail. It reminded me of the way Ken examined my place the first time he’d come over. It hadn’t been critical, but more like the art and decor was my coded diary and he was scoping out my secrets.
Thinking of Ken made me wonder if I should tell Kat about him. I hadn’t talked to her since I’d given her the cheese, and uncharacteristically, I wanted to burst out and confess, I have a boyfriend and he’s smart and weird and sexy and thinks my hairy chest is a thing of boner-inducing magnificence. But there was always the possibility of Ken’s reputation preceding him. I didn’t know what Kat knew about him or what she thought of him. Did she think he was an uptight, superficial asshole? Or did she think of him as the guy who saved Elizabeth in the hospital? I didn’t relish seeing any disappointment in her eyes over him. Not now. I also had to face the possibility that Ken’s distance last night was an indication that he was unhappy in this relationship. Maybe this was the beginning of the end. Why would I want to gush to Kat about him today, only to have to confess he’s left me in a couple of weeks. No, thank you. I’ll keep my heartache and misery to myself.
Wally barked and pulled my thoughts back to the present conversation.
“You’ve been here less than thirty seconds and you’re already bursting bubbles,” I huffed. “Come on in, Debbie Disappointment. I need to let Wally out of the bedroom.”
“Why is he in the bedroom?” she asked, following me farther into the apartment.
I explained why it was better for Wally to be shut in when people came by and walked down the hall to release him.
“Alright, buddy,” I cooed quietly to the dog as I approached the door. “Go give Kat some love. Convince her to be your new mommy.”
“I brought you lunch,” she called out. “Sushi from Mai Tai.”
I opened the bedroom door and watched Wally haul ass toward Kat.
“Okay, then,” I yelled back. “You’re forgiven.”
When I entered the living room, Wally The Very Good Boy was doing his utmost to follow my instructions. Jumping, dancing, licking, he was pulling out all the stops. Kat was not immune to the dog’s affection and excitement.
Giving Wally ear rubs, she asked, “Forgiven for what?”
“Forgiven for not asking Dan out. He’s been single for something like two months. The time has come to stop avoiding The Security Man.”
It was time to get real. She needed a push, and not just suggestions or jokes. She needed a friend to tell her she had to finally take the Boston Bull by the horns and ride him into the sunset.
She straightened from Wally. “Steven,” she said, mild censure in her voice.
I wasn’t having it. I crossed my arms and issued her a look that I was sure told her I was not going to drop this subject. “Kat.”
Like Dan, she was excellent at deflection, and she turned the conversation. “I need—I need you to consider a request for your help.” She took her coat off and approached me, her large, doe eyes sober and searching. Grasping my hand, she said, “I received a call today from Uncle Eugene, you know, my father’s lawyer? And, Steven, this is serious.”
My heart clenched. Kat’s mother had been institutionalized for many years with severe schizophrenia. Her father was also very ill with Alzheimer’s. If this Uncle Eugene was calling her with something serious, it might very well mean one of her parents had taken a turn. I squeezed her hand, “Tell me.”
“You remember my cousin Caleb?”<
br />
“Yes,” I answered, disgust edging into my tone. “The pharma bro who is one evil deed away from becoming a real-life portrait of Dorian Gray?” This guy was always so rude and cruel to Kat, I hated that she was forced to deal with him—he wasn’t just family, he was the CEO of Caravel. The stories she told about him always pissed me off, but she admirably ignored him and refused to give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction from her. She was amazing.
“That’s the one,” she affirmed. “Well, you know how my dad is getting worse? Caleb is trying to obtain guardianship of me—and my property.”
What the hell? “Why would he do that?”
“He wants control of the family’s shares, which—if he succeeds in his bid for guardianship—would be his as soon as I inherit.”
I was taken aback. Her cousin’s plan to obtain guardianship over her seemed preposterous, but as she explained the hows and whys, I understood the real threat to Kat. Her life in Chicago, though respectable, was highly unusual for an heiress and someone who would soon have the responsibility of owning a large stake in a multi-billion-dollar company. Add in her less-than-pristine rebellious teenage years, and the fact that both of her parents were incapacitated with mental disorders and Caleb, as her closest relative (not currently institutionalized), had a very real shot at winning that bid for guardianship. And if he were to obtain guardianship, Eugene warned that she would be institutionalized herself and Caleb would control all finances, essentially making her unable to seek legal recourse. Her father still being alive wasn’t the protection and the time-buffer she hoped. Caleb was making his play for control now.
I watched as Kat sat on the couch and crossed her arms over her middle in a protective gesture. She was obviously close to crying, but valiantly trying to keep control. My heart broke for her, my mind whirled. How could this be happening?
“Eugene thinks the best way out of this is through marriage. If I marry, that person will have rights to me that will surpass Caleb’s. He will most likely contest my marriage, but Eugene seems to think that will be a losing battle.”
I was relieved there was an easy and perfect solution to the problem. Marriage would certainly cut that Machiavellian douche off at the knees. I’d love to see his face when he got the news that Kat had thwarted his plans by hitching her wagon to…Oh my God. “Oh my God,” I blurted, the thought striking me suddenly. “Are you going to ask Dan?”
What a gift from the universe! Ask and ye shall receive! This was much better than locking them in a closet together or pretending I was ill and calling them both to my bedside to hear my dying request that they make out.
Yes, I had considered both options.
By the confused look on her face, I knew we were not on the same page. “What? No!” she insisted vehemently.
“Not Dan. You.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
*Steven*
An aneurysm was imminent.
The past twenty-four-plus hours had been an emotional rollercoaster.
When I walked out of Dan’s apartment last night around six, I’d made sure Kat had my new phone number and left her with Wally, a smile, and all calm positivity.
“It will all work out, Lambchop. Don’t worry.”
But as soon as I shut that door behind me, my brain went haywire.
Fuck, fuck, fuckety, shit, fuck, fuck!
I convinced her to ask Dan. “You ask Dan, today…If he doesn’t immediately say yes, if he hesitates at all, then I’ll marry you.”
The pain behind my eye got sharper.
What the hell was I going to do?
I told her I was seeing someone, let her know that it wouldn’t be okay for me to do this…then I gambled.
I gambled because Kat needed help. Kat needed someone to protect her. I knew Dan was the man for that job—not me. But she’d been so sure that Dan wouldn’t say yes, so sure that if he did, it would be dangerous to her heart.
I worried for her heart. I did. So much. But what about Ken’s heart? How could I marry her and expect to not cause carnage in my own life? I couldn’t.
I had to make her be brave. Dan was the perfect candidate for this. He was a white knight, impervious to bribes or threats, connected and powerful in his own right.
And he cared about her. I knew he did.
At least, I thought he did. Kat’s re-telling of their history did confirm their mutual lust, so I knew I wasn’t without hope here. But she also told me about a side of Dan I didn’t know and never would have suspected in a million years.
Dan casting off his attraction for an amazing woman because of her former promiscuity? I was honestly confused and disappointed by the revelation and yet something about it didn’t ring true. Something wasn’t right, so I still took a gamble on him and asked her to consider me her back-up plan to Dan.
She’d looked so lost and terrified I couldn’t do anything but reassure her I’d be there for her.
God damn it, Daniel O’Malley, you’d better take your head out of your asshole and make the right choice.
That Beantown Bozo was going to be dead to me otherwise.
He had to say yes. There was no way he was going to turn down an opportunity to help Kat. Especially if that opportunity put him in close contact with her. Even if some part of him didn’t think a relationship with her was a good idea, he still wanted her. And just like Ken and I had discussed, people don’t take their own good advice. When they want, they do.
Dan was going to do. He had to. He would be the stupidest sonofabitch if he didn’t. I knew Dan wasn’t stupid.
My perception of my ability to understand and predict human behavior had shown itself to be a bit skewed in recent times. And, honestly, that’s why I couldn’t feel as confident about this as I appeared to Kat. If he said no, I was in a world of trouble.
Maybe I was sabotaging myself. Otherwise, how could I just blithely say, then I’ll marry you, like it was nothing?
“What about your boyfriend?” she’d asked.
“I’ll talk to him tonight. He’ll understand, or I’ll make him understand. I hope. Don’t worry about it.”
But Ken wasn’t going to be okay with this, and I wasn’t going to talk to him about it unless it was abso-fucking-lutely necessary. Even if there was a chance he’d feel sympathy for Kat or anger at the cruel injustice of her situation, I didn’t know if it would be wise or prudent to explain the entire situation to him. He’d be another person who’d be in on a conspiracy to commit marriage fraud. It would put him in a bad position.
I stayed up late into the night, popping ibuprofen and fretting. I’d started to call Ken half a dozen times, wanting to hear his voice, wanting to know if he was feeling better than he had the night before. I wanted him to be here, but at the same time, I needed to wait for Kat’s call alone. I had to ride this out alone.
I considered the fact that maybe he was already thinking about breaking up with me. That maybe the events of Saturday night were too much for him. Maybe he thought he couldn’t handle my baggage or being in a relationship with a man.
We’d yet to have sex, and part of me worried that he was hesitating taking that step with me because he wasn’t sure he wanted to go that far. Maybe he was confused, maybe the novelty of being with a guy was wearing off and he wanted out before it went any further. I hadn’t pushed. He asked for patience and I wanted to give that to him. I’d honestly been enjoying the slow explorations and didn’t feel like fucking was an immediately necessary act for lovemaking.
His words, his eyes, his body, mouth, and hands conveyed nothing but eagerness. Never in my life had I enjoyed intimacy so much. He made it exciting and fun and sweet. The sweetness was what set him apart from everyone else I’d been with. He liked to savor and praise and cuddle. He loved pillow talk, loved to continue caressing and whispering long after we’d come and our bodies had cooled. Nothing about his behavior before Tuesday would have made me think he was unhappy with the way we were in bed.
Nothing ex
cept not asking to fuck me.
I can tell you really like him. Just make sure he’s not using you to experiment. Ern’s words replayed in my brain, but I batted them away. Ken wasn’t using me, and he wasn’t treating our time as temporary. He talked about introducing me to his sister and taking me to her wedding. For Thor’s sake, I brought Wally home one evening and he sat playing with him musing about what kind of dog we could adopt when we were ready.
This wasn’t a man who was playing around.
Still, Ern’s mini-lecture mirrored some of my own fears and Ken’s entire demeanor on Tuesday had been worrisome.
I finally fell asleep sometime around three with my cell clutched in my hand.
At 6:38 AM my phone buzzed, startling me awake. It was a text from Kat.
KAT: He said yes. We’re getting the license today.
My whole body slumped in relief. “Oh, thank you God, and thank you, Daniel O’Malley,” I breathed.
I hurriedly typed out a couple of texts to her.
ME: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!
ME: I want all the details. Call me. And pics or it didn’t happen.
I wanted her to think I was excited and happy for her—not so relieved I was on the verge of tears.
Tossing my phone aside, I fell back to sleep until just after ten, then called Keira to inform her that I would not be coming into the office.
I spent the whole day thinking about Ken and how I had just been given a get-out-of-jail-free card. I wanted to know we were okay, know he wasn’t doubting us, or angry with me. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was King that had been upsetting to him. He’d told me that the situation with Nico’s stalker had been traumatizing for him, that he regretted the force he’d had to use on her. Saturday probably gave him pause and made him wonder if he should subject himself to a situation that could possibly escalate to that point.
I didn’t think that it would, and I didn’t want to lose him. I knew I needed to talk with him and straighten everything out, so I sent him a text around four asking if he’d spend the night with me tonight.
Sticking to the Script: Cipher Office Book #2 Page 18
