by Trina Solet
"No. We all have things that hold us back – losing people then not believing in finding happiness or anything that lasts," Rob said, making a confession of his own. He dropped back on the blanket with his arms folded under his head. While Julian gazed at him, Rob's gaze was lost in the copper treetops right above them.
"Because of your mother?" Julian asked tentatively.
"That's a big part of it. But when I take stock of my crappy relationships, I know I didn't make good choices. My last boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I ended up losing both of them, and a lot of trust in people. Kind of lost my temper too. I found them together after kicking down the door. Then I put my fist through a wall twice instead of their lying faces. If the wall wasn't lousy, I would have a broken hand." Rob shut his eyes and Julian could see how hurt he must have been.
Julian couldn't understand how anyone could cheat on an incredible man like Rob. He didn't deserve to be hurt and betrayed like that. "You know you're a great guy, don't you?" Julian told him, his voice a little shaky with emotion.
Opening his eyes, Rob smiled at him then shook his head like he didn't realize it was only the truth. "Am I? I kind of came to expect that every relationship was going to end badly and leave me feeling like road kill. That's why I decided to stick with random hookups until I hooked up with my 'straight' roommate and got kicked out. The timing was hell." Rob's eyes brightened again and he gave Julian another smile. "That's when you came to my rescue. Your job offer was just the break I needed."
"I'm glad," Julian said, but he didn't like how Rob made it sound like the break might be short-lived and then he would go back to his real life, look for guys to hook up with.
If he did, Julian was sure someone would ignite Rob's passion again. He would fall in love and be happy. Julian knew he wouldn't be so lucky. "At least you had the courage to try. I never even got that far. For me, it was always strictly strangers, strictly anonymous, meant to be forgotten." Julian didn't know why he was telling him this, maybe just to be fair since Rob told him about himself. Now he wondered what Rob would think of him. It was too late to take back what he said so he tried to explain himself. "It was only a handful of times, usually when I was out of town on business. Typical, right?"
"You're hardly typical," Rob told him with that disarming smile of his. And just like that, he wiped away Julian's embarrassment.
Maybe this was why Julian was always baring his soul to him, so Rob would make him feel OK about everything. While Julian was basking in Rob's alluring smile, Danny ran over saying, "I saw a fishy!"
Rob jumped to his feet. "You know what that means? We have to go fishing." He offered Danny his hand and they went off to find a branch to use as a fishing pole.
In the end, Julian got handed a fishing pole too. Fishing to Danny was just holding a stick over the water and calling out, "Hey fishy, fishy. Come 'ere."
Julian looked over at Rob, who just shrugged.
Once he got bored with that, Danny had a new idea. "Make us a boat, Julian."
"Do we have paper?" Julian said and checked to see if he had anything on him.
Searching their takeout from Peach Tree Café, Rob came out with something. "Here's another receipt," he said and held it up. He also found a menu from the café, so Julian got to work making small boats.
Done with that, he left Danny and Rob to launch the boats. They would need to get back home soon, so he started cleaning up. Julian was folding up their blanket as Rob and Danny fished out the boats from the pool of water.
"So this was a good picnic, right?" Rob asked Danny, and he agreed.
"Yes. We made lots of paper boats, but we didn't catch the fishy."
"You didn't get wet, did you?" Rob asked seeing him wave his hand around.
"Just my hand," Danny said.
As Danny held out his hand, Rob checked it out. "And your sleeve a little. Let's roll it up."
Comparing it to his other sleeve, Danny held it out to be rolled up too. The way Rob was with him, so kind and patient, it touched Julian so much. Rob had that rough edge to him, but he was so sweet to Danny. Julian just wanted to stay like this, to hold on to the two of them, to this moment.
As they were heading to the car, Julian told Rob, "I honestly don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for wanting to stay."
"I'm happy to be here," Rob said. "Life out in the country isn't so bad. I haven't gone on picnics or had days like this since my mom died. I've been missing out." He turned to gaze at Julian and gave him a feeling of hope that was so strong it hurt.
Chapter 21
Yesterday, Rob could have spent all afternoon staring at Julian on a sunny, autumn day. Then last night, he had dreamed about rolling naked in the leaves with Julian. The reality had been a little bit different, and Rob wished he hadn't run his mouth so much about his crappy love life. Julian was great about it though. That's why Rob could be himself around him, and why talking to him felt so good.
But since the night they fucked, the two of them hadn't done anything more than hug. There had to be more. Rob couldn't stand the thought of that night being his only time with Julian.
Right now, Julian was busy in his office while Mitch and Rico were getting ready to start making noise in the big office. Rob was going to take Danny and Lenny on a short drive, but at the moment, Danny was standing in the doorway between the two offices, curiously looking at what Mitch and Rico were doing. They weren't working yet. As Danny looked on, Mitch was putting work gloves on Rico, who was grinning at him.
Seeing how Danny was looking at them, Rico winked at him.
"He's helping you 'cause you don't know how?" Danny said to him.
"I know how," Rico said defensively.
Rob laughed while Julian explained, "Mitch is being extra nice to Rico because he likes him."
Danny seemed to understand that. Judging by the way Rico was beaming at his fiancé, he liked what he said too. Mitch was a little embarrassed, but the look of love in his eyes was unmistakable.
"He's always extra nice to me," Rico said.
"He likes you a lot," Danny said.
Mitch confirmed it as he gazed at Rico. "That kid knows what he's talking about."
Inwardly Rob grumbled. Yeah, he was jealous, dying to do all kinds of big and small things with Julian. Of course Julian trusted him with Danny, and that was a big deal. That should be his focus.
Rob offered Danny his hand. "Let's go practice driving in the car."
Danny took his hand then announced, "I'm not gonna be scared of cars any more. Rob is helping me."
"Listen to him. He's going to be driving in no time," Rico predicted, but Danny corrected him.
"No. I'm gonna sit in the back with Lenny."
"Have fun with Rob," Julian said and gave his little brother a hug.
"Tell Julian to hug Rob too," Rico called out.
Rob went to shut the door between the offices. "That will keep out the noise," he said, sending Rico one last dirty look through the door.
It was another sunny day, so Rob and Danny took full advantage, spending plenty of time outdoors. They were in and out all day, and that meant Rob didn't get to spend much time with Julian.
It was close to dinnertime when all three of them went into the kitchen to see what they could throw together from leftovers and frozen foods. Lenny followed them in and headed straight for his doggie dish and started munching on his food.
"I guess he's all set for dinner," Rob said.
After watching him for a while, Danny told him. "I'm gonna draw you a picture of a car, Lenny."
He got his drawing supplies and sat at the kitchen table. The drawing was just random lines, but Lenny wasn't going to complain.
Down the hall, Mitch and Rico were getting ready to leave. While Rob and Julian were debating which frozen things to heat up, they heard the front door and then Sam's voice coming closer. It turned out he was talking to Rico. They both came into the kitchen.
On seeing Sam,
Danny asked him, "Did you bring us dinner?"
Sam smiled at that. "No. I just came in to say hi."
"I guess we do get takeout a lot," Julian said.
"He didn't bring you food. He came to get me," Rico told them. "Mitch has to go see another client for an estimate. Sam is here to take me to work the dinner shift at the café."
"I can't believe you have two jobs," Rob said to him. He didn't seem like the type.
"And he takes online classes in restaurant management," Sam said and grinned at his friend proudly.
"It's Mitch's influence," Rico said and he looked modest for once.
"I guess you guys are making dinner," Sam said seeing that they had some frozen vegetables out.
"These guys are hopeless in the kitchen. Why do you think Danny asked if you brought dinner?" Rico told him.
"What do you eat?" Sam asked Rob and Julian.
"Take-out or order in. I also know how to spill a bag of salad into a bowl," Julian said then held up a bag of frozen vegetables. "And I can manage these."
"This is Wyatt all over again," Sam said to him. Giving up on Julian, he turned to Rob. "You can cook, right?"
Rob nodded. "I have some cooking skills. I can heat up something from a can, and I can heat up something from a box or a bag."
"Oh God," Sam said and hung his head.
"Look what you did. You traumatized Sam," Rico said and put a comforting arm around him. Then he looked at Danny. "Danny, it's all up to you."
Danny wasn't paying any attention to them until Rico said his name. "Me?" he said as he looked up from his drawing.
"You'll have to cook," Rico told him.
"I'm a little kid. I can't cook," Danny told him. He was always having to set him straight.
"Speaking of Danny. You can't feed a kid from cans and boxes," Sam told them. "I can teach you some cooking basics and you can go online for the rest."
Rico had some misgivings about that. "Teaching them how to cook? I don't know. Isn't that how you seduced Wyatt?"
"I didn't... Never mind that. All humans should know how to cook," Sam declared passionately while Rico cracked up. Sam stopped trying to defend himself. He set his jaw and threw a challenge at Rico. "Fine. Then you teach them."
"No one needs to teach us. We can figure it out ourselves," Julian told them both.
"You say that now, but you'll end up fishing your severed fingers out of the soup," Rico predicted.
"Hey!" Rob warned him and pointed at Danny, who had gone back to ignoring them in favor of his drawing.
"I keep telling you people, kids don't know what severed means," Rico said and rolled his eyes. He then crouched down next to Danny. "Tell these guys that kids need good things to eat," Rico instructed him.
Turning to them, Danny dutifully repeated, "Kids need good things to eat. And Lenny too." The dog was now lying under the kitchen table, patiently waiting for his drawing.
"Such a sweet kid," Rico praised him and gave him a wink. "I'm counting on you man. Keep these guys out of trouble." He pointed his thumb at Julian and Rob.
Nodding, Danny looked over at them like they really might be troublemakers of some kind.
As soon as Rico and Sam were gone, Julian turned to Rob. "OK. Let's order in."
"After all that?" Rob said.
"I'll call it in from the café and make Rico deliver it," Julian said.
Rob liked that idea, and he also liked the defiant gleam in his dark eyes. Danny wasn't thrilled with the plan though.
"No cooking?" Danny said, disappointed.
Now Julian grumbled, his resolve melting.
"We can heat up something and call it cooking," Rob whispered to Julian.
Julian wasn't happy with that option. He sighed as he looked at Danny, then he caved. "I'll watch a cooking video and see what I can make. You can heat something up if you want," he told Rob.
Now it was Rob's turn to be disappointed. He felt excluded, but plastered on a smile and said, "OK. Good luck."
Rob quickly turned away, but he didn't need to worry. Julian was already looking at his phone. "I need a bigger screen," Julian said and went off.
That left Rob and Danny in the kitchen and neither of them was happy. Rob was thinking that maybe Julian wanted to create some distance between them. Maybe he thought that they shared too much. While his heart beat in a slow, painful rhythm at the thought of Julian pulling away, Danny got his attention. "Rob, is the video just for 'growned-ups' or can I watch too?" he wanted to know.
"I'm sure you can watch," Rob told him.
"OK," Danny said and he climbed down from the chair. Taking Rob's hand, he tried to lead him away. "You watch too, Rob."
"No, but you can watch the cooking video with Julian. Just you two," Rob told him then he noticed Julian standing in the kitchen doorway with his iPad in his hand.
He was looking from Danny to Rob kind of oddly. That made Rob worry that he gave away too much. It's not like he needed to spend every second with them. Rob might like to, but if Julian didn't feel the same, he didn't want to horn in.
"Danny wants to watch the cooking video with you," Rob said to him.
"Maybe he wants to cook with me too," Julian said and smiled down at his little brother.
"You're allowed to cook with a grown-up," Rob told Danny.
"I don't know how," Danny said.
"I don't know how either," Julian told him then he looked over at Rob and held his gaze for a moment. "Rob doesn't know how either. This video is going to show us."
"And Rob can watch?" Danny said.
"If he wants to learn, sure," Julian said then he gave Rob another significant look. "Do you?"
"It might be a good idea, I guess," Rob said. He felt like Julian was challenging him to join them and cutting right through his resolve to not horn in.
Danny was happy, and all three of them ended up sitting at the kitchen table, watching cooking videos. A lot of cooking videos. Danny was in his big brother's lap, and Rob and Julian were shoulder to shoulder while Lenny meandered around their feet.
At the end of each video, Julian would say, "Too difficult." Then they would watch another cooking video marked "easy" or "for beginners" or "easiest ever", but Julian still wasn't willing to tackle it.
In the meantime, Danny and Rob munched on carrot sticks. "Any more carrot sticks and we'll turn orange," Rob said.
"Oh. I guess we better heat up something after all," Julian decided setting aside the iPad.
"We're going to do cooking now?" Danny asked.
"Kind of," Rob said. Going to the freezer, he got out three boxes of rice with teriyaki chicken. "We can add frozen peas to the rice. That's cooking." They had gotten a whole bunch of frozen vegetables they could microwave right in the bag.
Since Danny didn't know much about cooking, he was cool with that. He looked on eagerly as Julian got out a skillet.
"We need a skillet?" Rob asked.
"We saw them make rice in a skillet in the videos. We can do that too," Julian decided.
Rob didn't see how. They had three frozen bricks of food to deal with. He knocked them against the counter to demonstrate the problem.
As all three of them frowned at the frozen dinners, Julian made another decision. "Microwave then skillet."
"You're just determined to use that skillet," Rob accused him.
"I am. We didn't watch all those videos for nothing," Julian said stubbornly.
It wasn't for nothing though. Danny had fun and Rob did too, or maybe he just liked being close to Julian. For Danny's sake, they made heating up frozen dinners into something like the cooking they saw in the videos. Good thing the little guy was easily impressed.
"He's mixing!" Danny said.
"You can do some mixing too," Rob told him and got another wooden spoon for him. "Just be careful. Do it gently." He held Danny's hand as he stood on a chair and stirred very carefully.
"We cooked it," Danny said when they set the table and sat down to eat.
&
nbsp; It didn't turn out too bad, and it made both Danny and Rob feel good. Cooking with them, sitting to eat dinner with them – it filled Rob with so much warmth, but still with an edge of worry when he thought about how much he didn't want to give this up.
At the end of their improvised dinner, Julian checked his phone and frowned.
"You have more work to do?" Rob could see that he did even before he nodded. "I'll clean up."
"Thank you, but I didn't expect you to have to do that by yourself," Julian said as Rob stacked their plates.
"Danny will help me, right?" Rob told him as he went to the sink with the stack of plates.
"Yes," Danny agreed as he followed him carrying a single spoon.
Julian went off to his office, and Rob looked for something for Danny to do. He had noticed that the trash was full, so he asked. "You want to help me take out the trash?"
Danny nodded. When Rob tied it off, Danny tried to hug the trash bag so he could lift it.
Rob pulled it back. "We don't want to get too friendly with the trash. Why don't you open the door for me?" Rob told him.
Danny ran and held the door open for him then went along with Rob and held on to the bag. When they came back, they both washed their hands.
"So I guess you're old enough to do chores now," Rob said as he helped Danny dry his hands. "We can tell Julian. He is going to be so proud of you."
Done with the dishes, it was Rob's turn to get busy on the phone and Danny asked him, "Are you working?"
"No, but this is my sister calling me." Rob showed him her picture then he answered. "Want to talk to her? Hey Christie, someone wants to talk to you." Before she could say anything, Rob had her on the phone with Danny.
Rob could hear her saying, "Hi. Hello? This is Christie. Who's this?"
"Hi. I'm Danny," he said shyly then he launched into the most important thing he had to tell her and everybody else. "I have a doggie. His name is Lenny. We 'haved' a picnic. And there was water. Lenny was drinking it."
Rob could hear Christie laughing. "I saw Lenny's picture. He's really cute and so are you."
