And this piece…it was an important one.
How did my father make a spell to keep my wolf at bay if he’d died before I was born? What did it matter if I was lied to if my father was dead and therefore we did not need protection against the other high warlocks?
“Mom,” I whispered. Even a whisper felt too loud. The thoughts running through my head were not good. They were full of confusion and realization. “Dad. Is he—”
Sarah did not blink as I spoke, like she knew this was coming, like she knew her plot holes had been detected. “Your father did not die before you were born. He’s…he’s actually still alive.” The words hit me like a slap in the face.
Everything I’d ever known to be true was a lie. My whole life, a lie. One after the other. My heart ached, knowing all that I’d missed out on. My father was alive, out there in the world somewhere, living his own life, not knowing anything about me.
“Why?” I breathed out the word, feeling broken, shattered. It shouldn’t have meant so much to me, but it did. Was I angry? Of course. But the sadness sweeping through me could not be denied. I found I could hardly think, hardly breathe. Was I exaggerating, being dramatic? Maybe. I didn’t know.
I also didn’t care.
“He’s the high warlock of power, Addie. He couldn’t stay and be your father. The others would’ve had us killed if they’d learned of us. No hesitation. He did what he had to to keep us safe. Don’t hate him for it, and don’t hate me for trying to give you a normal life.”
Sarah’s words were nice, but useless. They didn’t make me feel any better.
My father was alive, and I’d never seen him, not once. Not even in pictures. Pictures would’ve only been a link to him, something someone, maybe, could’ve used against us. But still.
I got up, almost mechanically. I had nothing to say to Sarah right now, nothing to say at all. I moved around the small coffee table before the couch, heading for the stairs. My mom set her tea down and went to follow me, but I shot her a look that stopped her dead. I didn’t want to be followed, didn’t want to talk. I only wanted to be alone.
I had to sort out my thoughts, process everything I’d learned.
I took the stairs two at a time. I wasn’t the shortest girl around. My legs were long, and now their length was complimented by muscle thanks to my wolf. Every part of me was leaner, though my body frame did not change. I just became fitter.
I went to my room—strange, to call it my room, but I supposed that’s what it was—and shut the door behind me. With my hands still against the wooden door, I let out a shaky breath. All this teenage angst was getting old, but I could not fight the way I felt.
Just so…sad.
If I had a kid I couldn’t be around, I would fight tooth and nail, do anything and everything in my power to be with them, even if it was just for a day. My thoughts would always be on my child, and no matter what I was doing, I would always try to find a way to see them.
Had my father ever once done the same? Or had he turned tail and left, not once looking back at Sarah or me?
The thought of him leaving and never returning made me so upset. Angry and sad, all tossed together in a blender to create something both new and not so new. What gave him the right to make the decision? Maybe I didn’t care if people, if those damned warlocks, came after me. Again, everyone else had made the choice for me, and I’d been too young to make the decision myself.
I sighed, slowly moving to the window. It seemed too bright a day, considering what went on underneath the blue sky. The grave digging. The truth discovering. It should’ve been a dreary, morose day to match my emotions.
With another sigh, I knew I was being dramatic. I knew I shouldn’t be acting this way. I was nearly twenty years old; could I truly be upset at my parents for deciding something when I was a baby? Parents always chose things for their kids, because the kids were too young to understand the choices and the consequences.
No, I couldn’t be mad at them for it.
I was being ridiculous. If anything, I should be thrilled, be happy Sarah had finally told me the truth. No more lies, no more secrets. I could go on into the next part of my life, my life with this pack, knowing I had the whole truth.
The emotions running through me were wild. I could hardly think straight, think logically—something I always prided myself on. I was the logical one, not the one who got so caught up in my own head I acted like a tween.
I needed to man up. Wolf up? Yes, wolf up.
I needed to wolf up.
Chapter Seven – Addie
The door to my bedroom creaked open, and I was about to say a very teenage phrase—Mom, leave me alone—when I realized it was not my mom who’d entered. The smell, musky and manly, gave him away. It was not Dylan’s aloe vera scent, though his arm had looked to be nearly healed already; it was the one wolf I never would’ve thought would follow me.
Landon.
I didn’t even tear my gaze from the window, instead watching his reflection grow larger as he approached me after closing the door. If Sarah had seen the closed door, she’d probably throw a fit, because no matter how old I was, the mere thought of me doing anything with any boy was still too much for her to bear.
“Please go away,” I said, trying to be as nice as I could, given the fact I did not like the guy. Just because my wolf wanted to throw herself at him didn’t mean I wanted to. Landon was too much of a jerk.
Landon’s blue eyes roamed over me, and I pretended not to notice. I also pretended to hate how he stared at me, forcing out a frown. He could, in all reality, probably sense that my wolf wanted his, so my posturing was pointless. As pointless as denying I was still upset.
“You know,” Landon spoke, standing a few feet behind me. If he stepped any closer, I’d give him a good whack to his stomach—though that’d probably only end up hurting my hand rather than him. “I didn’t peg you for the moody type.” Silence as he let his words sink in. “Guess I was wrong.”
Okay, I could no longer keep staring out of the window. I turned to him, shooting him the worst expression I could muster. Now was not the time to make fun of how I was feeling. Everything I felt was valid; I was allowed to be upset.
“Why do you have to be such an ass?” I was getting really good at swearing. It was becoming my second favorite pastime, after fighting all-powerful death priests. With an angry sigh, I waved him off, not caring about his answer. “Why’d you even come up here? To antagonize me? Go away, Landon.”
“It’s hard not to be an ass, when I see entitled princesses thinking they deserve more.”
I blinked. Did he just call me an entitled princess? Oh, the wolf had another thing coming. “I’m not entitled, and I sure ain’t a princess.” Ain’t? I used the word ain’t. What was the world coming to?
“You’re acting like one,” he said, crossing his arms. He held back a flinch as his wounds touched, trying to act tough. “It sounds like you’ve had a pretty good childhood, but you want more, and you’re throwing a tantrum about it.”
“I am not throwing a tantrum. I’m…I’m stewing. There’s a difference.”
An eyebrow rose. Just the one. An expression I both hated and simultaneously found cute. “Is there? I don’t see it. Do you want to know what my childhood was like?” He didn’t wait for my response, continuing, “I was born to another pack. My old alpha warred with other packs for females and kept them all to himself. He beat the others when we weren’t falling in line. I was five years old when I had my first broken arm. These?” He lifted his arms somewhat. “These are nothing. I ran away when I was ten. There was no packbond in that pack.”
I knew why he was telling me this, and darn it, it was working. My anger at my mom, at my warlock of a father, slowly died down, replaced by something else, something for Landon. Sympathy? Pity?
“I was homeless, wild because my old alpha forced us all to turn too early. Forest found me when I was fifteen, living on the streets, when he made a run to the cit
y with a few others. I thought I was as good as dead.” Landon shook his head, uncrossing his arms so he could run a hand through his brown hair. “So what if your mother lied to you? So what if your father is alive? It doesn’t change your past. It doesn’t change the fact that your mother loves you—and she does. I can see it, plain as day.”
God, who knew Landon could lay it on so thick and be so serious while doing it? I sure didn’t.
And he wasn’t done yet. “Get over it, Addie. Don’t linger on it. Don’t pout. You’re better than that. Brush yourself off and forget about it.”
Out of everyone, I would never have guessed Landon would be the one to spew a long story and teach me a lesson. He was the douche of the group, not the old wise man. Not the sensei. He was Landon, but the words he spoke were truths.
“You can be upset with your mother,” Landon said, no longer sneering behind his words. “But don’t hate her for it. Don’t regret anything in your past. The only reason you’re you is because of all of the choices your mother made. If she’d told you the truth, if your father never left you…you might be dead. Is that what you want—to be dead? It’s the last thing I want.”
He spoke the last part so quietly, so earnestly, it was almost hard to match the words with the person saying them. Landon didn’t want me dead. Well, he didn’t seem like the type of wolf who would wish anyone dead, but there was a hidden meaning behind his words, a meaning that made me meet his intense blue stare.
“Careful, Landon,” I whispered, my head tilting up at him. Without knowing what I was doing, I took a step towards him. Less than a foot separated us now, and still it felt like too far a distance. “Opening up to me, saying those things…it might make me start to think you care.”
Wasn’t that what Maze had said, though?
Landon gave me a slow nod, matching my step, the tip of my chest grazing against his upper stomach. He was taller than Maze and Dylan. Even though I wasn’t the shortest around, I still had to angle my head up to look at him. Heat radiated from his body, seeping into mine at our proximity. I burned inside, wanting to toss all caution to the wind, even if it would be a terrible idea—plus, Sarah was downstairs. Ick.
“You’re right,” he said. Just when I was about to inhale sharply, he added, “We wouldn’t want that.” Completely ruined the moment, the buildup, whatever it was growing inside me.
Wouldn’t want to think he cared about me, would we? Yes, that would be awful.
Still, I did not step away, even though I should. He basically just told me he didn’t care, right? Or was it his confusing way of being sarcastic? If so, his sarcasm needed some work; he was not as good as Maze was.
“Wouldn’t want you to start getting any wrong ideas, would we?” Landon asked, tilting his head. One of his hands tugged at the sleeve of my jean jacket, pulling the breath right out of me.
“No wrong ideas here,” I whispered, filled to the brim with those same wrong ideas.
A low sound came from his chest, somewhere between a sigh and a growl. “I’m sure.” The hand that wasn’t currently fiddling with my jacket sleeve—which my arm was still in, feeling the occasional brush of his rough fingers—lightly touched the skin between my tank top and my shorts, his thumb grazing over my hip bone. “Then maybe I shouldn’t apologize for what I said before. Maybe it would only tempt you to think that I like you.”
Yes, heaven forbid that.
I wanted to retort, to say something that would make this jerk believe I did not like him, not even a little, but I found it insanely hard to focus on forming words when his fingers kept dancing along my hip. Tiny, soft tingles followed anywhere he touched, and I only embarrassed myself further by leaning in, pressing myself harder against him. The fingers dancing along my hip moved to my side, and the hand playing with my sleeve dropped to do the same. His thumbs hooked in my belt loops, his other fingers curving with my body, pretty much holding the sides of my butt.
“Maybe I shouldn’t say I’m sorry, that you’re the prettiest wolf I’ve ever seen,” Landon murmured, neck bending to rest his forehead against mine. His breath hot on my face, the hands holding my sides and butt tightening. “And I definitely shouldn’t say anything about your eyes. Nothing about how beautiful they are, how they pull me in.” His breathing had started to grow ragged.
I could relate. I could hardly catch my breath at all, with how close he was, with his hands touching me and his face against mine.
His face tilted further, our noses touching, our lips, only centimeters apart. I had to close my eyes, unable to look at him, unable to focus on anything other than the heat coursing through me. Heat Landon had taunted and created. He’d stoked the flame like an expert, as if he wanted it.
The bastard.
“I am sorry,” he whispered, hardly audible. “I didn’t mean it. You are the prettiest wolf I’ve ever seen, and your eyes…I could drown in them.”
Was this the same Landon? Had he been replaced by an alien of some kind? And could someone please tell me why I felt my heart speeding up in my chest? Why I felt the thump, thump of its beat in every part of my body?
I felt my arms moving, my hands gripping his shoulders. Such wide, strong shoulders. I didn’t touch him too hard, because he was still injured, but he seemed to have no qualms about holding me tightly against him. No grimacing or wincing to be seen.
Finally, I was able to find my voice, “I think you’re full of wrong ideas now.”
It was an understatement; in addition to the swirling heat I felt, I also felt something starting to grow harder against my lower stomach.
Were we really so wrong, though? It was obvious neither he nor I wanted to move away. Even if he could be a jackass sometimes, this was a side of Landon I liked. This side of him was more than welcomed.
“I think you’re right,” he said. “I think…”
I waited with a desperate need to know what else he thought, for I found I rather liked this, whatever it was. I forgot there was a world outside, all of my worries and concerns, gone. All my anxieties out of the window. I didn’t even remember my mom still being downstairs.
His lips were so close to mine. What would they feel like? What would he kiss like? Would it be like in the movies, where the kiss started out slow and then, as the seconds ticked by, became fast and hungry? Surely it would be needy, desperate. And what about his tongue…what about my tongue?
Still, the insecurities, the doubt. It all fell away.
This was a moment I never wanted to end.
But of course, with my luck, it ended far too soon. Before Landon could finish his sentence, before I could gather up the courage to close what little distance there was between our lips, another presence burst in the room, loud and boisterous.
Landon and I instantly pulled away from each other, as if we were caught red-handed. In a way, we were, but it wasn’t like we were doing anything…then again, Landon did have a slight erection growing in his pants. The bulge was semi-obvious in his jeans—not that I looked. I didn’t.
Or, I tried not to.
Maze hung on the door, a giant grin spreading on his face as he studied both Landon and me. “Huh,” he said, far too loud and jovial, breaking whatever mood had been in the room before. “I never would’ve guessed Landon.”
Landon responded by huffing out a sneer, storming out of the room, bumping arms with the intruder.
Maze clutched his injured arm, calling after him, “Ow!” But Landon didn’t stop. I could hear him pound down the stairs. “What a jerk,” he added, turning to me. He swung the door shut on his way in, but not all the way. He left it cracked, probably because my mom had said something. “I could be jerkier, if you want.”
I could not deal with this right now. Plus, I was super embarrassed. “Shut up.”
Wait a darn moment. When did he even get here? I shot him a glare, and somehow he knew what I wondered.
“After you stormed up here, Dylan got me. Silly us, we thought, Landon isn’t the one to c
omfort anyone. She’s going to need saving. Anyway, it was his turn to watch the wolf. I ran all the way here, and I could not believe my little ears—”
I couldn’t take any more. “That’s enough. Please, don’t go on.” I sat on the bed, burying my face in my hands to hide the flush in my cheeks.
Maze being Maze, well, he kept going. Once he sat beside me, he started to whisper, “Addie and Landon. I’m shocked. He’s kind of an ass, yeah?” Though my eyes were closed, I felt him lean towards me. “I could be an ass,” he spoke softly, almost tenderly. Ridiculous boy. “You look like you were dropped as a baby. Was your father an ogre? Because you are u-g-l-y—” He spelled out the word.
Despite myself, I started to laugh. I dropped my hands from my face, shaking my head at Maze.
He grinned at me, dimples in his cheeks.
Those freaking dimples got me every time.
“There’s the smile,” Maze said, eyes falling to my lips. At least they didn’t linger there. I was sure if Maze tried what Landon did, it wouldn’t work and I’d laugh in his face. I hoped I would, anyway. “Seriously, though. How are you? Dylan told me a bit. That’s rough.”
“Yeah,” I said, agreeing. “But Landon talked me off the edge. I’m okay.”
Maze let out a dramatic sigh. “Damn that Landon.”
“Jealous? I thought there was no jealousy among wolves.”
“Oh, I’m not jealous he was with you. Only that he got to you first.” He patted his chest. “Call me selfish, but I want to be the first one to kiss you. From where I stood, it looked like you were pretty close with Landon.”
I rolled my eyes. They all probably wanted to kiss me first. Some kind of stupid unspoken competition that honestly made me want to keep rolling my eyes until they fell out of my head. How juvenile.
“But I’m still in the running, thanks to my quick feet and loud mouth.” Maze gave me a wink.
Crystal Lake Pack: The Complete Series: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance Page 23
