“You did it, Lin,” Ace says. “I’m proud of you.”
A warmness builds up in my chest as I swish around the lake, the cool water washing away the last hot day of the year. We spend the rest of the day jumping into the lake, cheering each other on, and celebrating as our friends make it into the water.
When it’s time to go back to my cabin and shower, my legs are sore all over again. “I don’t think I can move,” I croak.
“You’ll get used to it,” June says, handing me my towel. “Just think. The pain means that your muscles are getting stronger.”
I smile, wrapping the towel around my slimy torso. “I’m so thankful for you all.”
“We’re friends. We look out for each other.”
Back in my cabin, I remove the suit that has stuck to my skin and quickly turn on the shower. The warm water soothes my aching, shivering muscles, and I sigh in relief.
You did it, Lin. I’m proud of you.
Ace’s encouraging words become my own thoughts. The inner dialogue that used to criticize me now uplifts me, affirms my purpose, and helps me succeed. God’s speaking to me. While scrubbing the sand out of my hair, I realize that I need to be my biggest cheerleader. I need to believe in myself, because my friends, believe in me.
Chapter Fifty-One
As I get out of the shower, thoughts race through my head. June’s words made sense, especially since they were Don’s words, but what good is it to know this information if I’m never going to see him again?
He didn’t cheat on me. I divorced him without any legal reason. Tobi helped me do it. Tobi didn’t care about keeping us together, only about separating us. But if my archive is deleted, are we even divorced? Did we even get married?
I think I’m going to be sick.
When I walk out of my bedroom, I notice Ace is standing outside my door.
“Hey. What’s going on?” I ask, catching my breath. The sharp cool breeze sits in my lungs.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay after talking to Spark.”
My heart flutters as his soft coffee brown eyes stare into mine with compassion. I take a second and let his words soak in before I respond. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” My voice is two annoying octaves higher than it should be.
“How do you feel about working with him?”
I roll my eyes and turn my face, hiding my smile. “I feel disqualified, but I also feel like I’m the perfect person for this job. Besides, what else am I going to do with my time?”
He chuckles as I open my door. “I mean, I’m free if you want to hang out.”
I shut the door and don’t expect him to follow me inside. The two of us are alone. “What are you doing here?” I ask abruptly.
“I’m really craving one of your cups of tea.”
I swallow hard, my heart racing as I struggle to keep up with what’s going on. “Yeah, thanks.” Is that the right thing to say?
He swipes the air and plops himself down on the couch. Kicking his legs up, he stretches his arms along the back of the couch and sighs. “I know you can use a friend. I’ll take black tea if you have it. With honey? Thank you.”
I bite my lip, pulling two mugs out of the cabinet and turn on the water, which was already sitting in my tea kettle. Gone are the days of boiling tea water in the same pot I use to make pasta.
“So, what’s your game plan?” he asks.
The water boils and I fill each mug, carrying them over to the couch. “For working at the clinic? I don’t know.”
“You’re not the least bit suspicious that he was so quick to offer you a job?”
“Well, I know Susan spoke to him.”
He raises his eyebrow.
“Of course, I’m suspicious. But I also know that this is the perfect way to expose him for the liar that he is.”
Ace blows on his cup and brings it to his lips. “Just be careful, okay? We don’t know how dangerous he is. He spends most of his time in the clinic. Barely comes out to talk to us.”
“What about Blair?” I ask.
“I think she could be just as dangerous. If he’s as manipulative as he seems, he might’ve convinced her to go along with whatever he’s planning. Just be sure not to give him any information.”
“You mean, about my hacker?”
“I mean at all. He could use anything you say and report it back to the Liberty party.”
My eyes widen as I remember when Tee was having her baby. Nelle asked me all about my miscarriage. I couldn’t stop talking after Blair brought me tea. He asked Blair not to leave my side…
“He might already know too much,” I say through thin lips. “I drank some tea, and I talked freely about my past life. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I don’t think I told him anything about my hacker…”
“I want you to be safe.” He puts his hand on my leg, sending warmth throughout my whole body. “He could use what you say as leverage against him.”
“Thanks for looking out for me,” I say. “I’ll be careful.”
Instinctively, I lean closer to him. The silence between us is sweet, like a rest in the middle of a symphony.
We finish our tea, listening to the birds chirping outside my window. When I finish my cup, I place it on my table in front of me. “So, do you miss reporting the news?”
“Not one bit. It was exhausting trying to keep up with everything going on.”
“You didn’t like being a podcaster? You sounded so happy when you were on the air.”
“Lin, whoever you thought I was before is dead. I don’t do that anymore. I haven’t dabbled in politics or current events in almost a year now.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, what have you been doing? Is your life so important as the Community chef?” He lowers his eyes to the floor and I realize that I’ve hit a nerve. “Look, Ace. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“Well, no. It’s just that, you’re right. My life is more meaningful than serving the Community meals.”
I put my hand on his leg, like Nelle does with me when she wants to show she’s there for me. Except Nelle’s touch doesn’t send chills running up and down my arms. And I usually don’t touch her hand with my own.
I smile. “Yeah, it is. You’ve been a great friend to me these past few weeks.”
He shakes his head, his eyes fixed on my floors. “What you see is a fraction of what I do all day.” He bites his lip. “Oh, I think I’ve said too much.”
I lean forward, asking for more information with my eyes. When he doesn’t give it to me, I ask the obvious question: “So, what do you do, then?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” He puts his finger to his lips, then rests his hands on his lap. “Well, I guess I can tell you. Several days after I arrived, I discovered something that could change the world. Do you wanna see it?”
Looking around, I wonder where he could hide this secret. The question piques my interest, but I feign apathy. “Hm, well, if you want to show me, I’ll gladly go.”
He abruptly takes my hand and the butterflies come back from my chest and spread through my lips. “Don’t tell any of the others about this, promise?”
I put my finger on my lips.
“In that case, come with me.” We stand together and walk into my bedroom. “We should be able to get there from here.” The butterflies turn to daggers as he moves toward my bed. Is this all a setup? Am I ready for this? It’s been so long…
My reservation dissipates when he rolls the bed out of the way and reveals a small door surrounded by wood panels. “Oh, there’s a door here,” I say, ignoring the awkwardness in the air.
“You’re going to love this, Lin.”
My breath catches as he opens the door. It leads to a staircase, and I’m able to breathe again. “I have a basement?”
Ace puts his finger over his lips again. With a squeeze of my hand, he asks me to trust him. Just months ago, this guy was a voice coming out of my phone. Now he’s a real person, someone
I connect with.
It’s vibrant and warm in the basement. How can it be so bright underground, away from natural sunlight?
I can hear my heartbeat thumping in my ears. Is it that loud? Can Ace hear it too? I squeal as hands appear and put plastic glasses over my eyes. “Agh! What is this?” But when I blink, the sunlight is easier to manage. There’s a dark shade in front of my field of vision.
“These’ll help you see where we’re going.” Ace is wearing his own pair of glasses. He looks like a guy from an old movie I used to watch. All he needs is a motorcycle and he’d be “cool,” as they used to say. The sunglasses aren’t as high-tech as my virtual reality goggles, but they do help with the light.
We turn the corner and my mouth hangs open. Green, luscious trees sweep over my head. Fruits, vegetables, flowers, and plants stretch for miles. Even a few butterflies float through the air. “Wow. What is this place?”
“For months I’ve been experimenting, trying to revive this underground garden. I think the Community that was here before us created it, and everyone in the town worked together to maintain it. That’s why you also have access to it. There are places like this all over California and in New York City. Most places are at least forty feet below the Earth’s surface, but these guys managed to do it without digging too far into the ground. It all started with one seed.” He bends to the ground and picks up a little speck. “You see this little guy? It can grow into that giant tree you see over your head.”
“Wow,” I say again, looking up at the branch overshadowing me.
“This place takes my breath away every time I come in here.” He takes an orange from his tree. “Here. Try it.”
I scrunch up my face like the orange has mold all over it. But, to my surprise, it looks juicy and ready to eat. As I peel away the outer layer, I expect to find something wrong with the fruit. From the time I pull apart the fruit and put a piece in my mouth, all my doubts fade away. “Delicious.”
“Good thing it didn’t kill ya. You’re the first person to try it.” When I gasp, he holds up his hands. “Just kidding. Actually, I’ve eaten plenty of this fruit. I’m keeping it up in case our ground ever becomes unlivable. While our grass is fine now, we can’t guarantee it’ll be there forever.”
I inhale the rest of the orange when I find out it’s safe to eat. “Why don’t we use the open fields we have now?”
Ace shrugs. “We haven’t had time to prepare it yet. The shutdown happened in the winter, when the ground was covered with snow and the soil was frosted. You can’t plant seeds in that environment. When we got here in the summer, we were trying to pick up the pieces of our old lives. We didn’t realize that we would also literally need to pick up the junk left here from tourists.
“Besides, the underground garden helps me grow in every season. Since the rock offers great insulation, I can create the ideal environment for trees.” He takes the orange peel out of my hand and throws it back into the soil. “And everything I grow is biodegradable.”
I wag my finger in thought. “What about the birds? Do you have a farm for the chickens? Or are they frozen somewhere?”
“Chickens and other birds are native to this area, Lin.”
My mouth hangs open. It took me a while to comprehend how farmers could raise chickens like pets and then kill them. How can chickens exist in the wild, all on their own? And how are they safe for us to eat?
“I know, Lin. I had the same questions that are cooking in your mind. But I try every meal I serve before I pass it out. If the food is unsafe, it’ll kill me before it kills you.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask, putting my hand on my chest as if he just insulted me.
“The mission of the Community is to survive. Some of us survive by isolating ourselves and making sure we’re safe. I take it a step further. I want to survive, but I know that it’s better for one of us to die than for all of us to lose our lives. So, I’m willing to lay down my life for the clan.”
What about me? My conscience pops the question into my mind. How have I survived? In my past life, I only thought about myself. I isolated myself so I could survive. I didn’t care about anyone else because I didn’t need them to survive.
But the shutdown helped me see beyond my screen to the people in front of me. My mother getting arrested. My father dying of lung cancer. Don risking his life to bring me to safety. And the world that’s crumbling before my very eyes.
“Lin, this is our purpose in life. We weren’t meant to be alone. We don’t just come here and die. We produce life for the next generation to enjoy.”
A flash image of Ben’s bright smile pumps hope into my bloodstream. Ace is right. We don’t live and then die. We live to make a better life for all of us, not just ourselves. That’s another thing the Liberty party got wrong.
He extends his arms. “This acreage takes up several cabins. We have everything we need to make food. It’s all hypoallergenic and healthy for our people.”
I put my hand over my gaping mouth as I rotate to view the whole garden. Oranges, apples, and lemons line the trees up top, with watermelons and grapes near the ground. Wait, are those coffee beans? I bend down to examine them. They look like red grapes, but I know what’s inside those shells.
“Do you have cocoa beans here too?” I ask.
He folds his arms over his chest and grins. “Of course.”
My heart races as I imagine the possibilities. The days of eating pasta and cookies are far behind me. Maybe my new life isn’t so bad after all.
I shake my head in amazement, leaning myself against the fence. “So, you’ve really been doing this all by yourself?”
He leans toward me and my heart starts racing again. “Susan knows, but she hasn’t been down here. I’ve been waiting for someone special to share in this with me.”
His face is about two inches from me, and I can barely breathe. I take his hand, and he squeezes mine. “I’m really glad that it’s me you chose.”
Before I know it, my lips are on another person for the first time in at least five years. I can’t do math right now. I can only think about the sweet softness of his mouth and the words that he spoke all those months ago to comfort me on his podcast. Now we have the rest of our lives to comfort each other.
But what about Don?
I pull away. “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? Lin, I’ve been waiting for years for a woman like you to walk into my life. If this is where we’re going to be forever, let’s make the most of it.”
His words bring acid to my throat. The emotions are the perfect blend of satisfying and nauseating. “I need a minute. I’m sorry.”
I release myself from his grip and run past him, into the light. Kneeling on the tender soil, I let the tears fall, my mouth dry heaving. I lay on my hands and knees and liberate all the emotions, all the thoughts, all the fears, all the lies, and even what I believe to be the truth. I’m literally at the end of myself, and I don’t know the next step.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I realize there must be a next step. This can’t be the end of my life. Don didn’t bring me here just to have me die.
“Hey, are you all right—”
“I want to get out of here,” I sputter, my tears spilling on the ground as Ace crouches next to me. “Please. Tell me there’s a way out of here.”
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Lin. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you.”
“No, you did exactly what I wanted you to do. It’s just a lot for me to take in right now. I mean, before this, I was married.”
We walk down a path of dirt, a little bit past where I stopped to cry. He kept his hand in mine, his touch tensing my muscles. “Did you at least enjoy the kiss?” he asks.
I stop walking and face him, my lips pursed. “Ace, it was a dream come true. But it’s just like you said. You’re not the person you were before. And neither am I. I’m trying to figure out who that is.”
He smil
es. “Well, if you ever actually need to run away, there’s your exit.” He nods his head toward a dark, gaping tunnel. “As far as I know, I’m the only person who knows about this pathway. Maybe Susan knows, too. I’m not sure where it goes, but since it’s the end of the underground garden, it’s probably well past the orange gate. If you go through it, you’ll have to go through alone.”
The darkness draws me, and I want to run right into it. No matter where it goes, it needs to be better than here. But my feet stay planted in the soil, just like the tree that hangs over my head.
“You want to stay here, don’t you?” he asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“I want to make it work. Let’s see what the future looks like here.” As I turn around, I stand on my toes and plant a kiss on his cheek. “For us.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
The next day, I make my way to the medical clinic for my first shift of work.
Spark has a scalpel next to Kev, the man with blue hair, who’s knocked out on the bed. I gasp and put my hand over my mouth. “What are you—”
“What? You’ve never seen an unconscious guy before?” Spark grins. “We get a lot of those around here.”
I scrunch my eyebrows together. “What are you doing?” I ask again, this time with my hand away from my face.
“He needs surgery. That’s why we had to knock him out.”
“How often do you perform surgery?” I ask hesitantly, making my way to the table. He’s sleeping, I tell myself as I stare at Kev’s motionless body.
“Quite often, actually.”
He’s bluffing.
“I guess I’ll watch,” I say, my throat constricting. “And do what you say. Just like we agreed.”
Spark’s lips grow thin as he clutches the scalpel in his hand. “Wow, Lin. You passed your first test. I thought performing surgery would scare you off.”
I bite my lip. “Were you trying to scare me off, Spark?”
In Real Life Page 20
