“Lin, stay with me.” Spark’s voice keeps me conscious. “I know this is hard, but you have work to do. Fight it.”
I can’t breathe for fear of catching the flu. “I need fresh air.”
“Go ahead. Take a step outside.”
I stumble out the door and onto the cold ground. The sun gives no indication of how much time has passed. Are we even close to the end of the day?
I exhale a quick prayer to God, the one who gives me hope when I feel hopeless. But what hope do I have now? If Kev’s flu spreads throughout the Community, we could all die. Even if survive the flu, we have at least two traitors among us. Eventually, we will all die.
You have a purpose here.
The words come into my mind as clear as day. “God, I don’t feel like I can do much here, but because you believe in me, I’ll do as you ask.”
There’s nothing you can’t handle with my strength. You have a heart of compassion for these patients. That is why I’ve chosen you to work with Spark.
I sit up and look toward the sky. “You chose me? I thought Susan did.” I shake my head and spit on the ground. “I just want to get out of here.”
And you will.
“I will?”
The door opens behind me and I turn around. “We need you back, Lin,” Spark mutters through his mask.
I stand and wipe the dirt off my pants. I still have a job to do, after all.
When I arrive back inside, Blair informs me that Kev’s blood is the result of a broken tooth. He has the flu, and nothing worse. I breathe out a prayer of thanks. He’s going to be okay.
We continue our rounds until the sunlight disappears from the windows. In the sterile fluorescent light, I hook up an IV and plug it into Kev’s vein. The chamomile tea I give him to relax helps him fall right to sleep.
Blair settles in the woman with a stomach bug, who is now chomping on saltine crackers. An IV hangs next to her too.
Spark places a cold, wet rag on Kev’s forehead while answering the wife’s questions about her symptoms and how long they’ll be at the clinic.
It’s still a long night. I’m ready for bed, but so are they. Maybe this is my chance to shed my selfishness. I can’t be selfish as a medical worker. I need to think about how to help others survive.
Before I can begin my rounds, Susan walks through the front door. “I hear that we have some Community members who came down with the flu.”
“Oh, Susan, we should check you for a fever just in case.” Her temperature is a perfect ninety-eight degrees. “You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper. “Kev has the flu and it’s very contagious.”
“How are you doing?” she asks, ignoring my warning.
“Overwhelmed,” I admit, tears forming in my eyes.
“You’re doing a great job, Lin. I’m proud of you. You’ve grown a lot since you first came here.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
She smiles back and folds her hands behind her back. “Well, it looks like you have everything under control here,” she says, loud enough for Spark and Blair to notice. “I’m going back to my cabin to recharge.”
That’s an interesting choice of words for someone to use. Unless that person was an android.
Chapter Fifty-Four
My bed envelopes my aching back. After a busy day at the clinic, I have no energy for anything but staring at the ceiling above me. I close my eyes, but the thoughts keep coming.
Is Susan an android? I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out before. She has a kill switch behind her ear. I’ve never seen her eat with us. She’s always happy, although she’s a little socially awkward.
Susan doesn’t want me to worry the others, but now, I’m carrying all the secrets of the Community on my shoulders.
God, help me.
Maybe I can talk to Ace about this. I know he and Susan are close, but maybe he knows whether she’s an android or not. Either way, I need to help Susan before Spark figures it out and dismantles her.
But what if he already knows? And what if she’s the one who’s been lying to us the whole time?
I jolt up in the bed as the sound of gunshots erupts outside my window. Did the Liberty party find us? Or is this the rebel party? I slide out of bed, rubbing my sore legs, and pull away the curtain. No one is outside. The clouds are dark until a bright white light shines through the sky. Screaming, I jump back into bed and pull the covers over my head. Pinching the skin on my arm and feeling the pain tells me that I’m not dreaming. This is real life.
I hear gunshots again, but the sound rolls through the sky and shakes the walls of my cabin. Can gunshots be that powerful?
A knock on my front door startles me, leaving me frozen under the covers. Ignore them, Lin. Just like you ignored the patrol officer knocking on the door of your townhouse. I gasp out loud, clapping my hand over my mouth.
Curiosity getting the best of me, I crawl out of my bed and take the first weapon I can find. A pizza slicer from the kitchen.
I hear the knock again. “Lin? It’s Tee. Is everything okay? I heard you screaming.”
Tears stream down my face as I open the door, thankful to see an encouraging face. “Tee, what’s going on? I hear gunshots.”
“Lin, those loud booms aren’t gunshots. They’re thunder.” She holds Ben’s head with her hand, while her other arm clutches his body. “Can you let us in, please? It’s raining.”
I close the door and offer Tee a towel. “Haven’t you ever heard a thunderstorm before?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Is that light in the sky supposed to happen too?”
“Wow, did the elite control the weather, too? What was the weather like where you’re from?”
“Sunny skies, mostly. Some snow in the winter, but nothing like this.”
Tee clicks her tongue, rocking Ben slowly back and forth. “Well, I’ll stay here so that you can sleep. You know I’m not getting any shut-eye with this little one up every two hours.” She peers at her son’s head. “Yup. He’s still awake.”
“Oh, Tee. You don’t have to do that.” I blush, upset that my screaming was so loud. “I’m sorry. It was all a misunderstanding.”
“Well, it seems like you need someone to be here with you. It’s okay, Lin. I won’t tell anyone.”
And yet I want to tell her everything. I’m sick of carrying this burden on my own.
She purses her lips. “Hey, are you all right? You look worried.”
I shake my head. “It was just a long day at the clinic. At least half the Community has the flu.”
“The flu? That’s still around?” She sits on the couch.
“Apparently. Someone brought it from the outside.” I bite my lip. Was that too much information? I’m almost too tired to care.
Tee doesn’t seem worried. “Yeah, I heard the flu can be dormant for a while. I’m just surprised that someone had it in their system.”
I shrug, fatigue overwhelming me. “Well, that’s what we were dealing with today.”
My muscles relax as I lay on the couch. Even though I wouldn’t admit it, I’m thankful to have Tee here. Dad’s little game pops into my head and makes me smile. There’s always a reason to be thankful.
I gently flutter my eyes as the sunlight creeps through my window. When did I fall asleep?
“Good morning,” Tee says sweetly. “Are you ready for breakfast?”
“Is it time for breakfast already?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.
“Just about. We can walk there together if you want.”
“Sure.” I throw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and walk out the door with her and Ben. The grass is still wet from the storm last night. “Thanks for staying with me.”
“Oh, it was no problem. I’m sorry you were so shaken up by the thunder.” The baby coos under Tee’s arm, and she adjusts him so that he’s facing front. “Don’t worry little sweetie. We’re going to get to eat soon.”
I smile. “What’s it like? Being a mom?”
She looks
down at her son and tickles his cheek. In response, his cheeks stretch into a grin and he giggles. “Unlike anything else. A dream come true, but the biggest test of character.”
I shouldn’t have asked. My stomach ties into knots, and I clench my hands into fists. Why did all this have to happen? I can trace all my pain back to that miscarriage.
“What’s on your mind?” Tee asks.
I shake my head. “Just past life stuff.”
The cold breeze blows by as we walk, and I hold my sweatshirt over my chest. My eyes are fixed on the ground, and I wish I could hide my feelings among the debris.
“You know, our past life doesn’t disappear just because we’re here.” Tee sighs. “I know our hackers told us that we were dead, but we’re still alive. We didn’t go to Heaven yet. So we have a purpose here. And we have some junk crowding up space in our hearts.”
I snap my head up. “I wish it would just go away. I’ve been thinking about it for too long.”
“I know what you mean.” She rotates Ben so that his face is hanging over her shoulder. “You asked me what it was like to be a mom. It’s beautiful, but it’s incredibly difficult to do alone. Every time I look at my son, I see my husband. I’m so thankful for all of you, but you’re not my family. The Community says my family is as good as dead. I’m never going to see them again.”
My hand instinctively reaches out to touch her arm. Sympathy is something that I learned here. Put yourself in the place of another person and feel what they’re feeling. Tee’s sad, like me, but for a much different reason.
“At least you have someone here from your past life.” I nod toward Ben. “The only person I know is Ace, but he had no idea I existed.”
“Oh, right. You listened to his podcast, right?”
I shrug. “He told me about the shutdown before anyone else. Even my husband…”
Tee stops walking and knits her eyebrows together. “Wait, you’re married?”
Too much information, Lin. “I was.” A tear forms in my eye. “It’s complicated.”
“Marriage is complicated.”
Her statement wafts away in the winter breeze that dances in my ponytail. If we’re going to be stuck here forever, I’m ready to move on. Any hope of Don coming back is gone. After I listen to the final messages from him, I’m throwing them in the brook. This is my new life.
The dining hall smells of bacon and eggs as we make our way inside, and my stomach growls. Ace nods a hello and I raise my hand in a wave. Tee and I fill our plates and sit in our usual spots. Our other friends haven’t arrived yet.
“I’ll pray.” Tee mutters a prayer of thanks and picks up her fork to eat.
“Amen,” I say absentmindedly.
“Do you have work today?” Tee asks.
“I’m working the night shift.” I guess it works out that I haven’t been able to sleep.
“Well, maybe we could try going for a walk today. I haven’t been up the mountain in a while.”
I shrug. “Sure.”
Ben wails next to me and I inch away. Tee makes shushing noises and rocks him. “It’s okay, honey. It’s okay. I’m here.”
Mom. How many times did she encourage me? With tears welling up in my eyes, I stand up and walk back to my cabin.
Tee doesn’t come after me.
All the emotions I’ve stuffed rise to the surface. It’s hard for me to think about my new life when my past life didn’t offer me much hope for my future. Even if I was successful in Windsor Terrace, look where it got me. I updated a post on my public page, and everything was taken from me. Would I even be here if it wasn’t for Don and Sage?
Hearing the other ladies’ stories confuses me even more. I wonder about the relationship Tee had with her husband and kids. What about Nelle, and the guy who attacked her on social media for believing in God? Meanwhile, June doesn’t have a connection to anyone.
I can’t imagine what it’s like for June to not have any friends. For the Liberty party to forget that she exists because she didn’t have any activity on the Internet. She’s so outgoing now. What was she trying to hide in her past life?
I wipe the tears from my eyes and hug my knees against my chest as I stare at the ground. I wish I could plug a mind-sucking device into my ear and drain out these memories. Mom. Don. Sage. Dad. And all the dreams that remind me that I’ve wasted my time up to this point.
A knock on my door startles me. “Lin, are you okay?”
Tee.
“I need a minute,” I shout back at her.
“You know it’s a safe place here,” Tee says, peering her head through my window. “I’d be happy to help you process your feelings.”
“Why?” I shoot back, staring at the door.
“Because I know what it’s like to do it alone. And trust me, it’s much better to live with the help of others.”
Her words break through the pride I now recognize in my heart. She’s right. I’ve lived my entire life alone. Even when I was surrounded by friends, I pushed them away. Maybe this my chance to start fresh. I feel the same rush from when I jumped off the cliff as I open the door.
“My ex-husband worked in IT. There was no short supply of need for him around Brooklyn. His position was the only job that required leaving home. Well, I guess except for the patrol officers.”
“Was that hard? Watching him go out each day?” Tee asks.
“I didn’t notice. I was too busy with work, watching videos to get credits, and scrolling through my news feed. He would kiss me goodbye, but that was it. I didn’t realize he was even gone until he didn’t come home for dinner.”
“Did that ever happen?” She bounces Ben on her lap.
“It did. Once. And that’s the reason why I’m here.” I hug my knees to my chest with a sigh. Am I ready to divulge this information? As I meet eyes with her, the answer is clear. Trust me. Out of everyone, Tee has proven her trustworthiness more than anyone else. She won’t betray me like Don did. She’ll help me get through it.
“My husband cheated on me with my best friend. Well, at least I thought I did.”
For years, that statement defined me. My identity was the ex-wife of Don Green. But as I speak those words now, they don’t have power anymore.
“I’m sorry.” Tee places her hand on my shoulder, and my muscles loosen. “How do you feel about that?”
I bite my lip. “Like I’m ready to move on.”
“Welcome to the Community,” Tee says with a smile. “You can move on here.”
“This place, honestly, has been incredible. I mean, I haven’t even had nightmares since coming here and talking to all of you.”
“I remember having nightmares, too,” Tee admits. “But they stopped as soon as I started reading the Bible.”
“God was talking to me through my dreams. At least Nelle thinks so.”
“Oh, that makes sense. If you didn’t have access to the Bible, and God was trying to talk to you, he would try to speak to you another way.”
“Yeah, in a way I’d understand.”
“I can see that.”
I stroke my chin. “There is something I don’t understand, though. Why was the way he talked to me so violent, but the way he talked to my dad so peaceful?”
“That’s a great question. You can ask him that the next time you pray to him.” Tee folds her hands together. “You do pray, right?”
“I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t.”
Tee extends her arms and wraps me in an embrace. “We’re all here for you, Lin. Just like you’ve been here for us. That’s what friends are for.”
Her touch brings healing as I feel my past life slip away from me. Maybe all I needed to go to get over my past life was talk about it, to get it out of me so someone else can share the burden with me. Now I know that I’m not alone.
Chapter Fifty-Five
When I show up to work, Spark’s reading The Life and Habits of Androids again. “What’s your obsession with androids about?”
&nb
sp; He lifts his head from behind it, his eyebrows raised. “You never know who among us is an android.”
Like Susan? I bite my lip and decide to play along. “I know what you mean. Based on what you’ve taught me so far, they’re very similar to humans.”
“You think you can trust someone, and then they turn out to be programmed. Nothing they say to you is real.”
I raise my eyebrows and fold my arms over my chest. “Well, if they were programmed, someone had to have given them the words to say, right?”
“Yes, but how do we know the person who gave her, I mean, them, the programming isn’t on the wrong side of the fight?”
Her. He dropped that pronoun too easily. He’s baiting me. “Do you have suspicions that someone here is an android?”
He puts down the book with a sly grin. “Do you really want to know?”
No. But I continue playing his game. “Yeah, sure. I want to make sure we’re all safe.”
“Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Sure.”
He looks around, as if someone were listening to us. “I believe that Susan’s an android.”
I gasp a little too harshly. There’s no way he believed it. But when he doesn’t react, I start talking. “What makes you think that? She’s so sweet.”
“Well, I know you know about the…” He points behind his ear and I nod. “How many people do you know with that thing?”
“I’m not sure how it works.”
“If someone presses that button, it kills her. Unless someone hardwired her brain, there’s no way she’s human.”
I shift my weight to my other foot. “Okay, so let’s say she’s an android. How do we find out who programmed her? And why they sent her here?” I remember the words she’s spoken to me over the past few months. How proud she is of me. How much she trusts me. Whoever programmed her must be very encouraging. Or a really good liar.
He shakes his head. “There’s no way of knowing without examining her. And she won’t let us examine her willingly. She’ll probably want to protect him or her.”
“Are you suggesting…?” The rest of the question catches in my throat.
In Real Life Page 22
