by May Dawson
Kai stared at her, too. Something like raw longing crossed his face, then he must have felt my gaze, because he glared at me. Anger chased away every other emotion.
“She’s nothing,” Kai said roughly. “You heard Callum. There’s no chance she’s the pack princess. Move on, Nick.”
“I am,” I said.
Kai shook his head, as if he was angry, and stalked off into the woods.
“Great company to walk with,” I said. I followed him, but Josh still stood, watching her.
“Come on,” I said. “She’s fine for tonight.”
He hesitated, then nodded, falling in beside me.
“I feel like we’re missing something,” he said.
The walk hurt my leg, but I deserved every twinge that radiated up my shin through my thigh. I winced. “It’s not that complicated, Josh. We went through hell, we see someone sweet like her suffering, we want to help. It doesn’t mean she’s special. It just means she feels more like us than Misty does.”
Misty was cute and bubbly and sweet, but there didn’t seem to be depth there, the kind of potential for understanding each other I felt with Piper.
Not that Piper felt any of that bond. Most of the time we’d spent together, I’d been a wolf.
“Funny how you don’t say much,” Josh said, “but when you do say something, you’ve got it all figured out.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said.
If I had things all figured out, I wouldn’t be pining for a girl who couldn’t be mine.
My heart belonged to a girl born almost eighteen years ago, our blessing—and the harbinger of our curse.
Chapter 13
Piper
Watching Josh flirt with Misty was a special kind of hell.
He bumped his shoulder into hers as they walked into class, and she turned her face up to him, glancing up at him through her eyelashes. He grinned his easy, confident smile, his teeth white above that square jaw. He really was movie-star pretty, just like Callum. My little sister wasn’t wrong.
“Did you write me a song yet?” she teased, bumping her shoulder back into his.
“That’s Nick’s department,” he told her. “He writes lyrics. I mostly focus on melodies.”
“I still can’t picture you playing the guitar,” she said.
“I’m pretty good.” He put his arm around her waist and ran his fingers rapidly over her side, as if she were a guitar whose strings he was plucking. She giggled as she captured his hand, pressing his fingers against her stomach. “You’ll see one day.”
“Football game on Friday night and the tease of a concert one day? Who are you trying to impress?” she teased.
“I doubt I’ll get any playing time Friday,” he said. “Or ever. I’m the new guy—Coach was good to get me in.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said.
“You,” he said simply. She laughed and slipped out of his grip, sliding into the chair in front of me. Glossy brown hair whipped across my desktop, yet again.
Josh’s eyes met mine. For once, that grin of his dropped away. The look he gave me was bleak, almost helpless. Deep blue eyes gazed into mine.
I glanced away, looking toward the door, as the teacher walked in. I could not. For some reason, my chest grew tight when I looked at Josh’s stupid face, like I was going to cry.
Josh sat down and then, after a second, leaned over my shoulder. “Are you going to come to the game?”
I shook my head, not bothering to look back.
“Football’s not your thing?” His tone was false-light. “You and Misty could come together.”
Yeah, that sounded like a party for sure.
“My dad won’t let me,” I said. “Pretty sure I’m grounded.”
And grateful for it, for once.
He shifted in his seat. I could have sworn I felt the heat from his body, even though he couldn’t be that close with his elbows on the desk behind me, as he leaned over to whisper into my ear. “I’ve got practice after school.”
“Good for you.”
“I didn’t mean—” he broke off, impatiently.
I twisted in my seat, finally. “I mean it. Good for you. That’s what you wanted, right?”
He sighed. It didn’t sound as if he was crazy about football.
I wasn’t crazy about this conversation. I twisted in my seat, but even as the teacher began taking attendance, Josh leaned forward, as if he had something more to say. I ignored him as pointedly as I could. I was not talking to Josh. I had good reason not to be talking to Josh; it was rude to talk in homeroom while the teacher was speaking.
Nothing to do with my ridiculous feelings being hurt.
Josh whispered in my ear, trying to draw me into conversation, but I wasn’t having it. When we left class, he and Misty were talking about Trig, and the two of them walked ahead of me. I drifted toward my first class of the day.
Then, all of a sudden, Josh grabbed my forearm and pushed me down a side hall, out of the stream of bodies. I glanced down the empty hall; the unoccupied auditorium was the only thing down here.
“What do you want?” I hissed.
He glanced back, checking if there was anyone to see us—there wasn’t—and then pulled me behind him through a door. Suddenly we were in the dimly lit space behind the stage. Thick red curtains hung around us.
I pulled my arm out of his grip, although I had to admit to a kind of dangerous curiosity.
“Sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for what?” I demanded.
His big hands cupped my cheeks. I stared up at him, perplexed.
“For acting like I don’t want to do this,” he said, and then pressed his lips against mine.
Josh’s lips were soft and warm. His lower lip lingered against mine, his deep blue eyes steady, gauging my reaction.
I didn’t pull away. Instead, I stared back at him. “Why did you kiss me?”
“You looked sad.”
“I don’t need pity kisses.”
“And I wanted to.” His forehead met mine, his eyelashes drifting shut. He held my face against his. “I wanted to so badly. Is that wrong?”
“I guess I don’t mind it,” I said, which was the understatement of the year.
His grip on my face loosened. Before he could let go, I pressed my lips against his.
He tasted like black coffee and peppermint Chapstick, and my lips tingled when we traded kisses. He kissed my lower lip, thoughtfully, as if kissing away the pout he’d put there.
I guessed I hadn’t done a very good job hiding my feelings when Josh and Misty were playing around.
I wrapped my hands around his wrists. “Are you going to kiss Misty too?”
His eyes clouded. “Piper.”
“What?” I asked. “If you’re making a bid for popularity—if you’re going to win that bet—you might as well date the most popular girl in the school.”
“You have to wonder why everyone finds her so charming,” he muttered. “If she’s really blessed with something special…”
Well, those words were a stab into my chest. I gazed up at him, trying to push away the roil of emotions I couldn’t even make sense of. Was I angry or sad or jealous or just a fool, crazy to kiss him again?
All of the above?
“I don’t want to talk about her,” he said, his eyes fixed on mine. “I’m not supposed to be doing this.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I definitely am not allowed to date. But Callum doesn’t seem like he would rein you in like that.”
His lips twisted. “I don’t want to talk about Callum either, right now.”
I put my palms on his rock-hard chest and pushed him away, gently. “Well, there’s no reason not to.”
“It’s kind of a mood-killer.”
“Your crush on Misty was already killing my mood.” I crinkled my nose at him. “What, you think you’re going to date her and have me on the side? What do you think I am?”
“I think you’re gr
eat,” he said. “I’m not—that’s not what I want. I don’t have a crush on Misty.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, leveling him a look.
“I can’t explain right now,” he said. “But I will eventually. Can you just trust me?”
I shook my head. No, no I couldn’t.
“That’s fair, I guess,” he muttered, but he swiped his hand through his hair. “Come on, Piper.”
“I don’t know what you want from me.” My lips still tingled from the kisses we’d traded. I took a step back, almost falling into the curtain behind me, but I caught myself, gripping fistfuls of red velvet.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I met his deep blue eyes. He closed the distance between us again, his hands wrapping around my hips possessively. His gaze was tortured, full of affection at the same time as he bit down on his lower lip, as if he was holding himself back.
“There’s one girl I want,” he said, his voice rough. “And she’s the only one I look at this way. No matter how else I can act, I can’t fake this.”
His words—and his gaze—and his lips hovering so near mine left my core throbbing, a warm glow spiking through my chest. This man devastated me in the best of ways.
“Forget you,” I said fiercely. My very desire for him left me angry. “You can’t talk to me like this, look at me like this, while you’re—”
“We both have our secrets,” he interrupted me, his voice low and hungry.
I gripped his powerful biceps in my hands, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to shove him away.
Those eyes seemed to stare right into my soul.
Unable to resist him, I suddenly bobbed up onto my toes, still gripping his arms for balance, and kissed him hard. I pressed my lips to the side of his kissable mouth, and he turned his head, trying to catch my lips again.
“When you figure out what you want,” I whispered, my lips grazing his cheek, “come tell me.”
I meant to push him away, but somehow when I tried, he drew me with him, pulling my body against his. His fingers tangled in my hair, tugging my scalp, as he turned my face to his. He kissed me again, wildly, hungrily, and despite myself, I kissed him back. The two of us stumbled in the curtains, red wrapping around us, gripping each other tightly.
I finally pulled away, my chest heaving, trying to catch my breath after the kisses we’d traded. He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned against the warm solidity of his chest.
“You’re crazy,” I said softly, “and you’re going to make me crazy too.”
He smiled, just enough to turn up the edges of his firm mouth. I took his jaw in my hand, unable to resist touching the angles of his cheekbones.
“It’s your fault,” he said. “Look at that face of yours.” He stroked my cheek with the back of a finger, the touch of his calloused knuckle rough and tender all at once. “All that kindness and strength and sweetness wrapped up in one beautiful package. I can’t help it, Piper.”
The way he looked at me, and the things he said, were overwhelming. No one thought as much of me as he seemed to, and it made me foolish.
I pulled the curtain between us, hiding from his handsome face. I needed time to catch my breath. He laughed, his hands reaching through the velvet to catch me.
“We’re going to be late,” I said. My voice came out low with desire, as full of confusion as I felt.
“We’re worse than late,” he said, and his hands closed on my hips, even through the velvet. I could see the shape of his broad shoulders and his head, outlined through the fabric. “Might as well skip class now.”
“You’ve got to go to your classes, though.” I ducked under the hem of the curtain, the heavy fabric brushing across my hair, and straightened in the fresh, cool air. My chest was still heaving with the effort and with my wayward emotions, so matter how cool I tried to sound. “You have practice this afternoon.”
He groaned. He stepped back out of the curtains himself, running a hand through his mussed blond hair. “Piper.”
“Josh.” I popped my hands on my hips. “I meant what I said. When you figure out what you’re doing, you know where to find me.”
“I know what I want,” he said.
“That’s not what I said.” I headed for the door. “I said when you know what you’re doing.”
“Piper,” he said, his voice low and full of frustration.
I closed the door on him anyway, leaving him behind me.
Chapter 14
“I’ve been thinking,” Maddie said. Her nose was red, her hood pulled up over her curly blond hair.
“Uh-oh,” I said. We were almost to school, and I couldn’t stop looking around for Eli, expecting him to pop up at any moment. I couldn’t come up with a more clever response. Luckily, Maddie didn’t seem to notice how distracted I was.
“We should go somewhere fun!” she said. “We have never been on vacation. Not ever.”
I couldn’t imagine us and Dad riding the teacups at Disneyland together, but I didn’t want to say that. She was only nine years old, after all.
“Yeah?” I said. “Where do you want to go?”
I expected her to say Disney—it was the morning of my eighteenth birthday and I was still sad I’d never had the chance to go—but instead she said, “I was thinking Europe!”
I hid a grin. “Europe, huh? What do you know about Europe?”
She flashed me her most scornful look. “What do you know about Europe? There’s London. There’s the cliffs of Dover. There’s France. Paris is where Sabrina turned into a woman.”
We’d watched Sabrina a few months before one of our girls’ movie nights. Apparently, Audrey Hepburn had left quite the impression on my little sister.
In case I’d missed the implication, she added, “You should really go to Paris.”
“I’ll put it on my bucket list,” I said, “but I don’t think we’re going anywhere anytime soon.”
She sighed heavily. “Well, I think an eighteenth birthday deserves a big celebration.”
I patted the top of her hood. “All I want is cupcakes with my best girl.”
Actually, all I wanted was custody of Maddie and my own place, but I couldn’t tell her any of that.
“You need friends your age,” Maddie said.
It was my turn to sigh heavily. “Well, I’ll see you after school.”
“You’ll be right here?” Despite the way she usually spoke—so grown-up in such a petite blond package—she looked up at me with anxious gray eyes. She had a fear of being left behind, for some reason. Maybe it was because she’d never had the chance to know our mom. She rarely gave it away anymore—she was learning how to hide her feelings, like all kids have to—but that fear must still have lingered under the surface.
“Aren’t I always?” I said. “I’m always right here. Because I don’t have any friends.”
As much as I meant to reassure her, I couldn’t help teasing too. She rolled her eyes—well, that was a new and annoying skill—and threw a wave over her shoulder as she turned and headed into school.
I watched her go, her pink backpack bouncing on her thin shoulders. She seemed so little and so grown-up at the same time. I couldn’t imagine leaving without her. I couldn’t imagine going to sleep in another city, alone and safe, not knowing if she was sleeping safely in her bed or if our father was going to hurt her too. Maybe without me around, he’d turn on her as viciously as he’d done with me.
My plan had to work.
“Piper!” Eli’s voice sounded sharp as a whip and way too close to me, right over my shoulder. I stiffened just before he threw his arm over my shoulders. The intense scent of his body spray enveloped me.
“Hi, Eli,” I said flatly.
“Tonight,” he said, “the football game, then the after-party. Sound like a plan?”
“For our date?” That word, date, burned in my mouth, “You want me to watch you play football?”
>
“Your dad never lets you out of the house otherwise, huh?” he asked. “Unless you’re with me?”
I wouldn’t be face-to-face with Eli during the game. I couldn’t do much better for a date with him. And Josh and Kai, and probably Nick in the audience, would be there. Excitement spiked through my chest.
“I don’t think he’ll let me go to the party,” I said. “But yeah, I’ll go to the game.”
Eli shot me a skeptical look, as if surprised I’d agreed so quickly. “He won’t know about the party. We’ll go for an hour. Two, tops.”
“Eli,” I said. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”
“You’ve got to live a little,” he said.
“I’m trying,” I muttered.
“I’ve got to be at the game an hour early. Do you mind?” he asked.
Oh my god, after everything he’d done to me earlier, now he was talking like this was a real date. Like we were starting all over.
“No, I don’t mind,” I managed.
“I’ll pick you up at your house at five,” he said.
“I’ll have to ask my dad,” I said. “I don’t know for sure he’ll say yes.”
“He’ll say yes,” Eli said confidently. Maybe he had every reason to be confident. After all, I was pretty sure he was a teenaged version of my father. The two of them should like each other.
“As long as he says yes, I’ll be ready at five,” I said.
He squeezed my shoulders. “Good girl.”
Funny how those words made me feel like anything but a good girl. They made me feel dirty.
If my plan worked, though, I’d leave Eli behind me soon.
I’d also be leaving Josh and Kai and Nick. For some reason, that made me feel sad, but I barely knew them. I shouldn’t care about that.
Still, I couldn’t help but look toward the student parking lot as Eli and I headed into school, still linked together. He wouldn’t let go of his vice-like grip on my shoulders.
