by Guerin Zand
“You know, Guerin, if you were to decide to stay, you might find it quite enjoyable.”
“Seca, did Milly put you up to this?”
Seca just shrugged her shoulders. “We know what you’re planning, Guerin, or you wouldn’t have asked us for that information. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“You haven’t told anybody, have you? You promised.”
“No, we haven’t, but you don’t have to do this.”
“Then who will?” Neither of them responded. “Trust me, I’d rather stay, but I have to go. Please don’t say any more about this.”
Prima hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. “Ok, but you better come back. If you don’t, we will never forgive you.”
Seca kissed me on the other cheek. Yes, I know. I’m an asshole. Once again, I was leaving these two behind. If I could find the time, perhaps I should get my head examined.
I took the transport pad down to pick up Roger, Katie, and Steve. Bart was going to return them to Earth before he dropped me off. I convinced him this would make sense since I wanted to brief my team before they got back home. It only took a few hours to reach Earth. Most of that time was spent taxiing out of the spaceport and getting through the traffic in the area around the main ship. At least we didn’t have to keep our seatbelts fastened and remain seated the whole time. I went to see them off in the transport room.
Wishes 1, 2, and 3 were granted. First, it absolutely had to be Bart’s shuttle. I knew Bart would be the only one to go along even part of the way on one of my stupid plans. Second, the timing was everything as you’ll soon find out. I had Katie get the team to set a date for their return that would work for me. It had to be after my daughter left, on a date Bart’s shuttle would be the next to leave for Earth, and on the exact day I needed. The third wish was to make sure my team was in no way involved, so I had to get them off the shuttle first.
“Roger, I hope it all goes well down there. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it, but if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask our friends.”
“Thanks, Guerin. You take care of yourself. Do you know when you’ll be returning?”
“Even if everything goes well, I don’t think I’ll be back anytime soon. Just build up your team, work with our friends, and you’ll do just fine without me.”
I shook Roger’s hand.
I went over to Steve and shook his hand as well. “Good luck, Steve. You’re a spaceman now. Take care of Jackie, and don’t let anything or anyone take her from you.”
“I won’t, Guerin.”
I gave Jackie a hug and moved over to Katie.
“You’re not going to get all mushy with me, are you?”
“I was just going to stick my tongue down your throat and tickle your tonsils, if that’s alright?”
“In your dreams, asshole! And don’t fuck up! I don’t want to have to clean up your mess.” She hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear. “Don’t fuck around. Kill that motherfucker and get the hell out of there.”
Bart opened a portal and the team left.
“So, Bart, exactly what were the instructions Julie gave you?”
“She said I should take you wherever you wanted.”
“That’s it? No exceptions?”
“That’s all she said.”
“Well, that’s good. You’ll only be following instructions like a good little Collective member then.”
Ok, this was a big wish here. I didn’t think I would get that lucky. Perhaps the time I spent annoying Julie endlessly over the past couple of months got to her? I didn’t miss a single day of annoying her with my monkey bullshit. I always brought up how I really needed that spaceship. I think when I was finally leaving she just had her fill of me and said something arrogant like, “Be Gone with Him!” It didn’t matter I guess. Her instructions to Bart sounded like she just wanted me to go, go anywhere.
Gladys walked over to join us. “So, are you going to let us in on your little plan finally?”
“Only as much as you need to know. The keywords for you two, plausible deniability. We have to wait for a bit. I need the timing to be just right but,” I pulled out a piece of paper. I didn’t want any of this on the networks. “At this time, we need to be here. Full stealth mode, Captain.”
“We’re going to Trogan. Do you mind if I ask why?”
“I’m going to visit an old friend, Gladys. Hopefully, it will be a surprise. I need to get ready.”
Neither Bart or Gladys said anything more about our destination. This is the beginning of the big wish as I called it. My big wish was if I got this far, Bart and Gladys would just do as I asked without asking too many questions. Of course, the two of them could put an end to my stupid plan if they wanted to be sticklers to the rules, but as I already uncovered earlier, the rules were bullshit. I went back to my quarters and pulled out the FNX-45 and proceeded to clean and inspect the weapon. I hadn’t fired it in a while, it was a dependable weapon, but I didn’t want to take any chances. When I finished, I attached the Osprey silencer that was in my go bag.
Now, as long as Bart and Gladys didn’t try to stop me, all I had to do was wait. The information I had gotten from the twins was personal information about Heesa, the Trogan emperor. Being his former sex slaves, they had intimate knowledge about the pervert’s sexual proclivities. When he liked to use his sex slaves, where he liked to use them, and a little more information that I frankly didn’t need to know about. I had Katie get Roger to agree to the date for their return to Earth based on this information.
Accounting for the various local galactic time zones, and what the twins told me was Heesa’s usual duration with his sex slaves, I had computed the best time to execute operation “Coitus Interruptus”. I figured Katie would be proud of me coming up with a cool code name for the operation. The go time for operation “Coitus Interruptus” was included in the instructions I had given Bart. The instructions also included the location of the Emperor’s playpen where I needed them to open a portal to.
I walked out to the transport room where Gladys and Bart were waiting. With my weapon in hand, I was locked, loaded, and ready to go. My baby was ready to be fed a juicy meal of subsonic hollow points. Yes, I was violating the Geneva Convention against the use of hollow points, but since Heesa wasn’t human, and I wasn’t military, I don’t think it applied. I just had to wait for the ship to make the transit through a portal to Trogan, then it was game on. We had ten minutes until game time.
Gladys looked at my pistol and then looked up at me. “Not planning on doing a lot of talking, Guerin?”
“I’m just going to pop in and say hi. It won’t take me long, so leave the portal open. If you two don’t want any part of this I understand. I’ll find another way if you want.”
“Why should we mind if you say hi to an old friend, Guerin?”
“Exactly.” I smiled. We didn’t say anything else. We all just stood there in silence until the ship made the transit. Bart opened a portal to the playpen and I stepped through.
There I found Heesa. His two sex slaves were screaming in pain from the vile act this shit bag was in the middle of. Not the good kind of screaming either. The twins had warned me that the room wasn’t soundproof. Heesa liked the guards to hear the women screaming. That’s why I had gone with the subsonic rounds and the silencer. It wasn’t actually silent but the screams in the room would definitely drown out the sound of the gun’s report.
I cleared my throat loudly. “AHEM!” At this point, I realized that my dialogue really needed work. A real inter-galactic space assassin would have come up with some memorable line at a time like this. I just cleared my throat. When Bart told the story, I’m sure he’d fix the dialogue problem.
Heesa looked over his shoulder to see me at the back of the room. Trust me. The view from where I was standing was almost enough to render me blind.
“YOU FOO…” He started to say something, but as soon as he turned his head to look at me I raised my gun and my
first shot cut him off mid-sentence. I wanted him to know who it was that was about to kill him. I could have just shot him in the back of the head if I wanted to be quick about it. The hollow point ripped a large section off the back of his head. A lot of really gross shit splattered on the wall and the slave girls. I’m sure they weren’t alarmed by this since it probably wasn’t the first time some of his precious bodily fluids had splattered all over them. I told you the twins had given me way more information than I needed. I fired a second shot to his forehead before he had time to fall. It made a good and proper mess of his head and most of the wall behind it. It would be impossible to put Humpty Dumpty back together after what I had just done.
The ladies continued to scream. I guess they were a little alarmed at what was going on which was good for me. As their screams continued, I looked at them and quietly said, “If you want to live, I suggest you come with me now.” I holstered my weapon, grabbed the two ladies by the arms, and they followed me through the portal while still screaming for their lives.
“We should leave Bart.” I had barely finished the sentence when I felt the effects of a transit portal. The women were still screaming. Gladys came over to calm them down. It was probably their first transit portal experience.
Gladys looked over at me, then at the blood and bits of brain covering the two slave girls. “You sure have a way with the women, Guerin?”
“I do make an impression, don’t I?”
Bart laughed. “Really? Again, Guerin? Are you collecting sex slaves now?”
“Of course not, Bart. They were damsels in distress, and I had to rescue them, right?”
Gladys had taken the ladies to one of the quarters to get them cleaned up and put some clothes on them. Did I forget to mention they were totally naked and truly fine looking? I know what you may be thinking, but I have to tell you anyways. The way the blood and bits of brain glistened on their bodies in the light of the room kind of turned me on. I guess we can chalk up another one to the list of things the aliens did to me when they tinkered with perfection. I was now just another alien perv!
“So, this was a rescue mission then?”
“Sure, Bart, that sounds good to me. Let’s go with that.”
I smiled, and Bart shook his head. “So what are you going to do with these two?”
“I was hoping you could take care of them? I’m going to be traveling light so I can’t bring them along. I’m sure Gladys won’t mind.”
“I’m sure she won’t, Guerin. You know, you’re going to owe me big time for all this, and Gladys as well.”
“For what? This never happened.”
“You know the Council aren’t idiots, Guerin. They’ll figure out exactly what happened here.”
“Well, I don’t plan on telling them, do you? If it does get out, I’m sure you and Gladys can parlay that into a shitload of gamer credits anyways.”
Bart laughed. “Where to, Guerin?”
“The planet Trinix. I have to meet a man about a horse.” Bart looked confused. “Look it up, Bart.”
It only took a few minutes to arrive at Trinix. A friend from my alien hunting days was expecting me. Bart signaled him that we arrived, and he transmitted back the location of his home. He had arranged for my ident and credits to be ready upon my arrival, as well as a job on a cargo ship as an apprentice crew member. Everything was stored electronically, so a device similar to an RFID tag would be implanted with my identification and financial status. As far as anyone would be able to tell, I was just a wayward Bree youth out looking for adventure.
I went back to my quarters, cleaned my gun, and the silencer, before packing them back into the go bag. Everything else was packed and ready. I met Bart and Gladys in the transport room. The two sex slaves were there as well. They were dressed in the basic Bree onesies, and I must say they made it look good.
“Thank you, Mr. Zand. We are very grateful for what you have done for us. If there is anything we can do for you?” When the taller of the two slaves said that, it made my head spin with all sorts of thoughts on that subject. I really was an asshole. Maybe I should just ask Bart to drop us off at some paradise planet where the three of us, or at least me, could live happily ever after. But no, I had a stupid plan, and I had only just begun this new adventure.
“That’s very nice of you to offer but you don’t owe me anything. Just be happy and have a good life.” I know my hero talk really sucked, but it was just my second slave girl rescue. Hopefully, I’d improve with time. I smiled and the two of them came over. They each kissed me on the cheek. I guess the training hadn’t changed much since Prima and Seca graduated sex slave school.
“What are you going to do, Guerin?”
“I have a job working as a crew member on a cargo ship. I’m going to see the universe and find the ultimate cheeseburger.”
Gladys smiled and kissed me on the cheek. “Well, have fun. I guess I don’t really have to tell you that though, do I?”
“I’d have a lot more fun if Julie would have given me that spaceship I wanted. You know Milly has her own shuttle now? Can you believe that shit? I did all the fucking dirty work! I get shit, and Milly gets her own shuttle. That’s bullshit, and you can tell Julie that for me. She’s such a bitch!” Bart and Gladys started laughing and I joined in.
“When will we see you again, Guerin?”
“I don’t know, Bart. I’m sure there will be more than a few that would prefer that the answer was never. I think I’ll be gone for a very long time. I’m sorry if I got you two in any trouble.”
“Don’t worry. We won’t be in any trouble. The Council does not rule us. They may make some noise but that only matters if somebody listens. We won’t. You know how to reach us if you have to.”
“I do. Take care of my team for me.”
“We will. Try and cut back on the slave girls. You don’t want to draw too much attention.”
“Bart, I plan on drawing a lot of attention. It will just be under a different name, but my friends will know it’s me when they hear the stories.”
We both smiled. I shook his hand and then gave Gladys a big hug. I threw in the appropriate amount of groping, and that brought a cute smile to her face.
“Get out of here, you asshole. And try to behave yourself.”
“Yes, Mom!”
Bart opened a portal and I waggled my eyebrows at Gladys one last time as I walked through.
Now, why didn’t Bart and Gladys try and stop me? That was the big question I had. I would have expected at least some resistance. There was only one reason I could come up with, so I’m going with that. As abhorred by the thought of violence they may, or may not have been, they knew someone was going to get themselves killed. They must have figured it was better it be someone they didn’t like.
I found myself on a dirt road with green fields on both sides. Bart had opened the portal a bit down the road so no one would see me arrive. No, I wasn’t back in Kansas, but it would do. The gravity seemed a bit on the light side and the sky was a beautiful blue. The weather was perfect, and it reminded me of a spring day in Florida. It dawned on me that this was the first time I had ever been on a different planet. I mean, outside where I could appreciate it. As I looked up at the blue sky I noticed the binary stars above and I smiled a big smile. “Finally,” I thought to myself.
I checked the piece of paper in my hand and looked at the map drawn on it. I had about a mile walk down the road to the country home where I was to meet my friend. I put the paper back in my go bag. I pulled out my Ray-Bans, baseball cap, and a clever new type of earbud I created with Sid’s help. I donned my gear and started to walk down the dirt road. Mr. Blue Sky, by ELO, started playing in my head.
See, Sid was a gizmo genius. You just had to give him an idea, like the hoverboard, and the next thing you knew, he built one. I asked him if he could modify the earbuds we used for comms to include a music player with enough storage for a gazillion songs. Not a problem. He pointed out that really woul
dn’t be that remarkable, and I agreed. I told him it needed to be able to read your thoughts and then play the right music for your current mood when you set it to shuffle mode. It needed AI to take your thoughts, which the comms could already read, and then search the music library for a match. Sid smiled when I mentioned that, and well, the Mood Buds, as I called them, were born. Patent pending, by the way. My whole team, including my daughter and Milly, upgraded theirs, and Sid had a new product line to go with the hoverboards.
So, you can tell how well these earbuds worked by the choice of Mr. Blue Sky. My smile just got bigger, and well, I started jamming down, dancing, singing, and playing air guitar as I walked on down that country road. This was one of those happy moments in your life that you never forget. I couldn’t help but just get into it. I’m sure I must have looked like a total fool, but luckily no one was around to see it.
As I approached the home, I got control of myself and silenced the music. I was going to need another personality to go with my new identity. I was supposed to be Bree, and that meant annoying, arrogant, and above all else, extremely boring. Boring was not a natural Guerin Zand trait and I was going to have to work on that. No more dancing! The annoying and arrogant part was not going to be a problem.
I walked up to the front door and knocked.
A voice asked, “Can I help you?”
“I’m here to see Fro. He should be expecting me.”
“You’re name?”
“Roberts.”
Acknowledgments
I have to thank Keith at Keith Draws for all of his excellent work on the covers for this series of eBooks.
Thanks, Keith!
Author Notes
If you enjoy my stories, please help me out and take the time to post a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Not only will it help to get the word out, but it will also help me to write better stories.
