Her brows shot up. “Mayor?”
His glance slid back to her face. “Ya.”
“That’s impressive.”
His frown deepened. “I suppose.”
“He must be a very distinguished man to be elected to that post?”
Ryan stared at her a long while before saying, “You seem awfully interested in my brother. Do you know him?”
“No, of course not.” She was certain her cheeks turned a fiery pink. “I was just, uh, trying to get to know you better.”
He chuckled. “By asking about my brother?”
“That’s not it.” She turned aside, unable to stand the intense look he was giving her.
“It’s all right, Evelina. I said I was an open book. I just thought you would be interested in my book, is all.”
“Oh, I am.” She blurted out a little too fast.
“You could have fooled me.”
“Your family is a part of you.”
He frowned. “What is it you really want to know?”
She closed her eyes and wished she could turn back the clock and seal her mouth shut. But she had come this far and if she was ever going to learn more about Ryan, she had better begin by not running away from sensitive questions that could possibly make him uncomfortable.
“Is it true you were engaged to his wife?” She spat out. “You know, before they were married, obviously.”
He sighed heavily and relaxed back on the blanket, watching her closely. “Is that what this is all about?”
Baffled at how nonchalant he sounded, she turned back to him. “I have a right to know if you’ve been engaged previously.”
“You do, do you? How’s that?” He actually looked amused, which made Evelina suddenly angry.
“Well, if you wish to court me and, and, uh, eventually want to, um, marry me.”
The smile on his face vanished. The teasing glint in his eye gone. “All right.”
He sat back up and Evelina had a sudden attack of nerves. Maybe she didn’t want to hear this. Maybe hearing how much he loved this other woman, was devastated at her betrayal, and was still reeling in pain from it to this day would be unbearable. She wasn’t entirely sure she could stand to hear him confess such raw emotions for another woman.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s all right. I suppose you should hear this,” he responded, then began, “There’s not much to say, really. Yes, it’s true. We were a couple. For many years. I suppose we became a habit for one another. Everyone expected us to marry.”
He paused.
“But as the years passed it was becoming obvious we wanted different things. She liked the sense of being part of a community whereas I dreamed of the sea. I think she tried to convince herself she wanted what I wanted, but in the end what she really needed was family, stability, a home.”
Evelina frowned.
“I couldn’t offer her any of those things. Whereas Jay could.” His gaze drifted toward the distance where the Detroit River was barely visible through the trees. “I would never have been able to make her happy. We both would have been miserable together. I could never give up my lifestyle to make her happy and she would have resented me if I took her away from hers.”
“Did you, uh, love her?”
“Yes, of course, and I still do,” he said, making her feel dejected all at once. “But not the right kind of love.”
“There’s a right kind of love?”
He actually smirked. “So I’m told.”
“And, uh, how do you know if it’s the right kind of love?”
He shook his head. “I suppose it’s all-consuming. Like nothing else matters but that one person. You can’t live or breathe without them. That every waking moment you want to spend it with them.”
“Oh.” The single word gushed out along with a raw emotion that had formed in her chest and wrapped around her heart like a warm bubble of longing at his every word.
“Not that I can vouch for that.” He quipped suddenly, shooting her a grin and unknowingly bursting that bubble. “It all sounds pretty fanciful to me, but if Jay is anything to go by, then that is how it must feel.”
Evelina released a mournful sigh.
“The thing is, Evelina, I don’t believe in fairy tales.” He looked steadfastly in her direction. “That’s not who I am. I’m not the kind of man who can commit. To devote my entire life to a woman or a family. You should know that up front. If you are looking for romance and happily ever after, I’m not your man. If I marry, it will be in name only. I can’t be tied down. I’m not built that way.”
“I see.”
“I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression of me but I think it best if I’m honest with you and lay the cards out on the table.”
Evelina thought it ironic that he used that particular gambling reference to explain his intentions with her. “And, uh, what would I get out of this deal?”
“Stability,” he assured her. “I’d set you up in a nice little house not far from your parents. You’d never want for anything. I promise you that.”
“And,” she cleared her throat. “What about children?”
A serious frown came over his face. “I couldn’t consciously bring children into the world only to abandon them.”
“I see.” She hesitated then said, “Sounds like a very lonely life.”
His brows dipped as he watched her closely. “I’m sorry, Evelina.”
“No, don’t be.” She attempted to smile. “I appreciate your honesty.”
He nodded but didn’t reply.
Evelina dropped her chin and stared at her hands folded properly in her lap. It shouldn’t have felt as if her whole world had just collapsed, but it did. Unequivocally.
“What was her name?”
“Who?”
“Your fiancée.”
He sighed. “Erika.”
“Was she beautiful?”
“Yes.” He watched her closely.
She nodded. She hardly expected her not to be. “She’s a very lucky woman.”
“Why’s that?”
“To have someone love her so profoundly.”
His lips set in a grim line and held her gaze for a moment before saying, “I suppose she is.”
What Evelina wouldn’t give to have someone love her with such fierceness. Who was she kidding? What she wouldn’t give to have Ryan love her in that manner. However, he readily admitted he had never felt that way or ever would. The only thing Ryan loved was the sea. And as it stood, Evelina held on to the one thing that could truly bring him happiness. The Lady Evelina. If she never wanted to lose him, she best remember that.
A chill swept over her body. She would have thought it was from her sudden dark thoughts as it had been such a beautiful summer afternoon weather wise. But the blowing of her dress sleeves accompanied by a sudden cold front had her taking note and drawing her attention away from Ryan. It had been horribly hot and the cool breeze was a welcome relief. Just as she glanced down at her sleeve flopping in the breeze, the sun slipped behind a cloud and gave her momentary relief from its sweltering rays. Instinctively she glanced up and froze. There on the western horizon, a darkness was sliding toward the park rather fast and headed straight to where they sat.
“I think we should leave.”
He sighed. “If you wish.”
She thought she detected a trace of melancholy in his voice and knew he mistook her desire to leave on account of their conversation. In no uncertain terms, he made it clear he could never love Evelina.
“There’s a storm approaching.” She gestured toward the sky and he followed her gaze and saw the looming dark clouds making their way remarkably fast toward them.
“I’m afraid there is.” But he almost whispered it to himself and Evelina wondered if there was a double meaning there but before she could ask him to elaborate, a piercing crack filled the sky. She flinched and immediately shot
her attention back to the sky, alarmed at how fast the storm was approaching. It was nearly upon them.
Ryan leaped to his feet and immediately started packing up the chess game and collecting their lunch items before placing them all back inside the picnic basket. Evelina struggled to her feet, feeling a sense of unease beginning to build. He must have noticed her struggles for he stopped doing what he was doing and reached out to pull her upright.
“Here let me help you.”
She muttered a thank you just as she caught a flash of lightning in her peripheral vision. “Did you see that?”
“No, I missed it but we best hurry. We are sitting ducks out here in the open.”
Most of the folks who were also picnicking in the glade had already cut their afternoon short and hurried out of the park.
“There’s a pavilion down by the lagoon we can take shelter under until the storm passes.”
“I’d rather just want to go home.”
He glanced at her briefly but she caught the sombre look on his face before securing the latch on the basket and turning to lead her out of the park. “If you wish.”
She hated that she upset him but she really couldn’t be anywhere outside if it stormed.
She had just merely thought the words when she felt the first drop of rain hit the back of her exposed neck. She glanced up, craning her neck all the way back only to realize the black sky was hovering just overhead. A raindrop hit her directly on the tip of her forehead.
“Please Ryan, we must hurry.”
He glanced heavenward just as the rain began falling. With a swift look around his surroundings, he gestured to a stone bridge in the pathway not far from where they stood. “There, we can take shelter under that bridge.”
It was a small bridge, not more than ten feet off the ground with a narrow culvert underneath. It was clear Ryan intended to use it as shelter from the rain. The apprehension that had been slowly building inside accelerated quickly. “No, no. We must get home.”
“We won’t make it.” He said before the rain splattered them heavily, confirming his words.
“Yes, we will if we hurry.”
“’Fraid not.” He pointed toward the western sky in the direction the dark cloud had originally rolled in from. A band of heavy rainfall followed in its wake. But what was more menacing was that it was advancing rather quickly.
Oh good Lord.
“Ryan, I insist we leave now.”
“Sweetheart, we’re moving as fast as we can. I can’t slow the storm’s approach.”
She wasn’t sure if he was patronizing her because no matter how much she insisted they hurry, she hadn’t actually moved a muscle. Fear had suddenly made her immobile.
A funny squeak escaped her throat and when he glanced back at her, she had no idea that her complexion had gone ghastly white or that she gazed up at him in desperation.
He released a heavy breath and put the picnic basket down before turning toward her and sweeping her up into his arms. Evelina knew she ought to protest, that it was the lady-like thing to do. However, she felt an unbelievable sense of safety in his arms.
He began walking quickly then, but to Evelina’s dismay, in the bridge’s direction.
“No, please Ryan, take me home.”
“We won’t make it.”
“I must insist you take me home right this minute.”
He ignored her and continued walking briskly for the bridge. Her insides began growing with alarming unease.
“Please.”
He had merely a moment to glance at her briefly before the skies completely opened up and rain began pelting them horribly. Unbelievably, he broke into a fast run, heedless of the fact he was carrying her in his arms and covered the remaining distance in no time. Once in front of the sanctuary of the stone bridge, he lowered her to her feet and ushered her underneath.
“All right, wait here and I’ll go fetch the carriage.”
He turned to leave but she reached out and grasped the sleeve of his coat. “No, don’t leave me here.”
He shot her a befuddled glance. “I thought you wanted to go home?”
Her bottom lip trembled terribly and it wasn’t from the fact she was now soaking wet. “You can’t–I mean I can’t–this won’t do–”
“Okay, calm down. I’ll be right back.”
Evelina could hear the terror in her own voice and see the exasperated look on his face and wished she didn’t have to feel this way. But the combination of thunder, lightning and the sound of rain hammering the stone bridge overhead had her pulse beating at an unprecedented speed. In a flash, recollections of twelve years ago resurfaced. Memories she had worked hard years ago to keep at bay in fear of this very feeling resurfacing.
“You’ll be safe here—”
“No!” She shrieked then collected herself. “No, I won’t! You don’t understand. I can’t stay here—”
The moment she uttered this last sentence she wished she could take it back. A look of bafflement crossed his features as he stared at her as if she had horns growing out of the side of her head. The man already thought her a lunatic with her fear of crowds, the outdoors, stairwells, and now the rain. He would surely think she ought to be committed with her countless phobias.
He stood just outside the shelter staring down at her with a heavy crease forming between his brows. His eyes bore into hers as if searching for something within their depths. Rain pelted his bent head and cascaded down his well-defined cheekbones causing them to appear more prominent than usual. He was breathing hard, almost as heavy as Evelina. However, whereas she was reacting to an anxiety attack, his was from carrying a woman soaking wet in layers of heavy garment across the park lawn.
“Dammit.” He unexpectedly cursed, and then before she could react, he reached out, grabbed her by the waist, and yanked her out from under the shelter and against his chest.
“Consider yourself warned,” he muttered just before he covered her mouth with his own.
Evelina blinked, completely stunned. Somewhere in the back of her distraught mind, she thought she ought to demand him to stop. To be horribly insulted. To protest, push him away, even slap his face in indignation.
However, all she could do was lay limp against his chest as an unexpected warmth swiftly made its way throughout her body, causing her to melt into his embrace. She felt the rain gushing down her face, felt it run over her lips onto his as they crushed her mouth with force. Without realizing it, she leaned toward him causing the kiss to deepen. His hands, which had been resting on her hips, slid around her midriff and pulled her close. A tiny moan escaped Evelina’s throat while her arms snaked up and around Ryan’s neck.
It was then that he broke the kiss, pulling away from her to look down into her upturned face with bewilderment. Evelina had no idea how wanting and enticing she appeared.
His eyes flickered with confusion, scattering raindrops off his eyelashes and revealing a warm desire within their blue depths. Then he blinked harder several times and took a step back, dropping his arms and letting her go.
“I’ll be right back,” he muttered, then was gone before she could stop him.
Chapter 9
Ryan made a dash for where he had left the carriage, his thoughts in turmoil. He couldn’t profess to be a real experienced ladies’ man, only having kissed a handful of women before in his life. However, he did not recall any of them being that incredible.
Admittedly, he had been battling an inner urge to kiss her ever since their first meeting, however, he had no inkling it would ever leave him so staggered. She must think him green under the thumb the way he went all googly-eyed. Not that she too hadn’t also been affected. He clearly saw the infatuation oozing out of her eyes after the kiss. No doubt, it was her first. And he had serious concerns that she had mistaken the rather brass move on his part as a sure sign of his adulation toward her. The besotted look in his eyes afterward probably didn’t help.
But that was a dangerous road to tre
ad. Ryan had no intention of following up on any schoolboy infatuations. It was his mission to fulfill his goal of sailing up the St. Lawrence to the Atlantic Ocean. He had gained a new perspective on life after that fateful day when he received word Jay had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. There was no guarantees in life. And it wasn’t as long as one may think. However, more importantly, it could be snatched from you in a blink of an eye.
It was a memory he both wished to forget yet served as a reminder not to take life for granted. Little did Ryan know at the time that he would not set eyes on his big robust brother again for another six months. He had returned home only to discover that his parents had traveled to Pennsylvania with Jay’s ailing body to perform a rare and highly risky operation to remove the tumor.
It was the worst six months of his life. Both he and Garrett were on pins and needles until finally, they received word that Jay had survived the operation and was headed home. Even then, they weren’t entirely certain what side effects he might have borne after the operation. The list was endless.
Erika had held fast to her faith that he would pull out of his near-death experience entirely. Thank God she had been right. Jay, always as strong as a bull, recovered fully with no lasting aftermath of having endured such an ordeal.
Nevertheless, the whole horrible event had been a wakeup call for Ryan. He always assumed he and his brothers would live long healthy lives and die of old age in their sleep like most old folks. However, he didn’t quite look at life the same anymore. His days were numbered. Whether for the long-term or not he had no idea. Therefore, it was his goal to do everything in his power to fulfill his lifelong dream before it was too late.
A wife would only hold him back. Especially one that he might grow rather fond of. No, that wouldn’t do. He had to keep his emotional distance. Remember that his intentions with the beautiful youngest daughter of his poker opponent was to help her overcome the oddities of her personality that prevented her from snaring a proper husband.
* * *
As Evelina watched Ryan’s departing figure disappear into the pouring rain, the only thing she could focus on was their passionate embrace. Her lips still stung from the bruising of his kiss. With the tips of her fingers, she reached up and touched them. She had never been kissed before. Not like that anyway. Her parents had kissed her obviously, but never a man. And never with such passion. It all at once made her feel both amazing and horrible at the same time. What type of person was she to feel such wanting pleasure from a man who was not her husband? The other side of her brain, however, contradicted this very thought and didn’t give a rat’s behind. She only knew she wanted to feel that way again. And soon.
Lady and the Gamble: A Sweet Victorian Romance (The Colby Brothers Book 2) Page 11
