“So, this is where the magic happens?” Marshall asked, pulling out the single desk chair and making himself comfortable. “Why so many computers? Can’t keep track of all your girl and boy toys without them?”
Troy didn’t look at a single screen. He was intently watching Marsh’s face, trying to discern if he understood what he was seeing. If he did, he didn’t show it.
“Is this how you found out what I did?”
“Yes and no,” he said, leaning against the tabletop. “I put two and two together when I hacked into your military file.” While he spoke, Troy turned the main keyboard his way and let his fingers fly. Soon he had Marshall’s military two-zero-one file on the big screen. Various security clearances displayed on the right and his medical file was open on the bottom of the screen. “Tom told me you were having trouble with authority figures since being discharged. It wasn’t a big leap. Especially in connection with the fact that your unit members have some of the same issues you do.” Silence reigned for several minutes. “Peterson was a perverted dick. I read your field report. It was exactly what I would have done.” As he had talked, Troy had brought up the files for each man who went with Marshall that night. Partly to let his friend know he was not alone and also to help him realize he was not the only one hurting. What he discovered was encouraging though. Two were deceased, unfortunately. One was still in the military and the other five were stateside. After he solidified Marshall at his side, they could help the four who were in and out of trouble and he’d reach out to Williams, the officer who was still serving, when he was on leave again.
“I wish he were alive so I could kill him,” Marshall ground out.
“I know. I wish he was too. It seems that men like him are like a Hydra from those Greek stories. You chop off one head and two more grow back,” Troy acknowledged. With his hand outstretched, he waited patiently for Marshall to take it. When he did, he pulled him up for a quick kiss.
“What now?”
“Now...” the backs of Troy’s knuckles appreciated the fact Marshall was still naked as he trailed them down his chest. He shivered with every brush. The light splattering of hair stood on end and the hardening of his nipples heated his blood. “You need to shower and rest. I’m not going anywhere or saying a word to anyone. We still have a lot to talk about.”
“Like what?” Marshall asked. “These computers or the fact you’re still doing ops for the same fuckers who allowed those girls to get killed?”
Troy didn’t move. He didn’t breathe, hell he didn’t dare blink for fear Marshall would disappear in a millisecond. “You’re not totally wrong, but you’re not right either.”
Marshall turned away from him and walked through the door past the walk-in closet and into the bathroom. Troy followed. He’d do whatever it took to make Marshall understand. But with that understanding, would his caution turn to fear? Troy wasn’t sure he could stand to see a man like Marshall be afraid of him. Not when he’d worked so hard to help so many other men in this same position to escape, feel safe, and find a way to live with the ghosts that haunted them.
“I don’t even know what to think. You’re messing with my head right now Tee.”
Troy turned on the shower and let it warm up. He couldn’t help but notice Marsh scrubbing his face with his hands in frustration. “Are you not still an active SEAL?”
How the hell do I answer that question? He stopped mid-reach of getting towels for Marsh.
“That’s like asking if you’re still a Marine. I’ll always be a Seal. You’ll always be a Marine. The only difference,” Marshall easily caught the towel he’d tossed, “is that my team is the one they send to go after the SEAL team, when they don’t show up on time.”
“Are you an assassin?”
“When I have to be.” Please don’t ask the question. I fucking beg you not to ask it.
“Would you have killed me?”
Troy bowed his head. Marshall had asked the question he’d dreaded answering.
“I honestly don’t think so. There were times in the last ten years that I wasn’t in a good place either. Getting here I might have hurt you and died inside. I’m just glad we never had to find out. As I said, Peterson was an asshole. He was slated for elimination. His accident took care of the mess he’d made for the Pentagon.”
Opening the shower door, Troy ushered Marshall inside. He planned to give the man his privacy to allow him time to think about everything they’d shared. It was a lot of intel to absorb and Marsh had been dead on his feet well before they’d entered the room and Troy unloaded his baggage on those wide Viking shoulders.
Marshall
Over The Rainbow
“Stay.”
The words were out of Marshall’s mouth before he could pull them back. Right now, he didn’t want to talk, and he sure as hell didn’t want to be alone. Part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to be with Troy either, but he was so fucking tired of being alone.
Unsure if Troy would heed his request, Marsh walked under the hot water and let the rain-head wash away the sweat, dirt and smell of sex. Why can’t it wash away my guilt? Marshall didn’t fool himself. Just because Troy knew what he’d done didn’t assuage his guilt. Rather, it made him feel more like a fucking a-hole for getting him involved.
“Lean back,” Troy’s deep voice brought him back to the present. “Let me wash your hair since I know you won’t let me brush out those sexy curls.” Marshall shivered from the possessive way Tee slipped his arms around him. Establishing dominance yet letting him know he was there to support him.
“You’re pretty good at this,” he stated. “If you ever decide to retire, you could get a civilian job working in one of those high-priced salons slash spas working as the hair wash guy. They will line up in droves.” Eyes closed his grin gave away his appreciation for the scalp massage.
“When I retire, rubbing heads is not what I plan on doing.”
“Aww. Seems such a shame. You’re so good at it. My head enjoyed it so much.” Marshall tossed in the sexual banter as if it were nothing. He noticed that Troy’s fingers tightened their hold on his hair and his hard dick was pressing against the crack of his ass.
“Mine too. A little too much.” Troy moved away from him, returning with the body wash and a fucking purple loofah. “Let me help you.” Starting with his back, Tee washed him gently, massaging the sore, stiff muscles away from his neck, paying special attention to his shoulders and back and even scrubbed his damn feet. It unnerved him to receive this much attention from a man like Troy.
“Why are you doing this for me?” He asked, sincerely. It might break him to hear the answer but needing to make a decision as to whether to stay or go, he knew he wouldn’t choose to be anyone’s pity fuck.
“Two reasons. One, I didn’t know it was you when I got the call and I owed Tom. He saved my ass when I acted out like you.” Troy’s far-off look was all too familiar. “Second, the moment I saw you on the other side of that two-way mirror, the last ten years disappeared. It seemed as if we were kids again and I had another chance to make the right choice. Now, step back under the water please.” Tee grinned before playfully shoving him under the spray.
By the time Marshall was rinsed and dried he felt as if he’d been climbing the mountain paths with an eighty-pound pack on his back. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he got a full night of sleep. The cold-sweat from nightmares kept him awake. It didn’t matter what meds they gave him to take, which he’d quit taking a long time ago. Saved him a ton of money which was now sitting in his bank account.
It shouldn’t have surprised him that while he was trying to get the ever-present snarls from his hair, Troy pulled down the covers to the king-sized bed. The Egyptian cotton looked inviting too.
“Climb in. No expectations babe. You need to sleep.” Troy held the blackout curtain back for him.
“But —” Marsh left unsaid how much he wanted to repay Troy physically and emotionally for everything he’d shared.
“There will be time later. Rest now. I want to hold you, if you’ll let me.” Troy sounded so unsure of himself.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” he answered with a soft kiss on the lips. How strange it seemed to have a lover’s body next to his. Troy’s warmth soaked into all of the cold, dark places inside of him and chased the chill away. The soft, light covers, Troy’s thick thigh tangled between his own brought comfort rather than panic and the need to flee he’d expected.
Marshall couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to sleep next to another human being. Just sleep. He didn’t believe he would be able to do so now either, and laid there waiting for his heart to race, his stomach to rebel, and his legs, hell his entire being, to become restless to the point that if he didn’t move, he would lash out, but it never came. I could get used to this. Instead he found his heartbeat slowing to match Troy’s rhythm playing against his back. Each breath slowed and became deeper until he totally relaxed into a dreamless slumber in the safety of his lover’s embrace.
Troy
Love At Last
Troy sat staring at the code endlessly scrolling up his central computer but didn’t really see a damn thing. Normally, he had a knack for finding what didn’t belong before most. It was why no one had sent anyone after him — yet. He was prepared for that inevitability, though he purposefully stayed out of the spy game to keep his neck intact a little longer. Another reason why he helped soldiers having trouble adjusting to civilian life too. He’d be missed if he came up missing one day. People would ask questions. The brass hated when people asked questions. He should know. He’d asked enough of them over the years to get busted to private more times than he could count.
His skills on and off the field kept him climbing up the ladder. Now, he just had to establish a wide safety net around Marshall which made it loud and clear to every party that may come along to back the fuck off or die. Sure, Marsh could take care of himself. He had no doubt when the two of them worked and talked more he’d be able to face a combat situation again with calm efficiency. Right now, though, Marshall would show who the top soldier was, and Troy was afraid his friend may accidentally kill an innocent. I don’t think he’d come back from a situation like that and I can’t lose him again.
No matter what it took, he would keep Marshall safe. He’d made inquiries already but hadn’t heard back from any of his contacts yet. With sleep the farthest thing from his mind, he waited patiently, watching his lover sleep and wondered how long it had been since Marshall had slept an entire night without being woken by his nightmares. With coffee and bagels at the ready, he slipped between the sheets to wake the other half of his heart.
He let his hands drift over Marshall’s amazing body. Wide shoulders curled in on themselves as he slept. He lifted the longish blonde curls that hung in ringlets. It was strange to see so much long hair on Marsh. As kids he kept it in a short mohawk or shaved. Troy grinned, thinking of how the girls in high school would have loved to have his hair. Brushing it aside, he left a tender kiss just below his ear.
Marshall made a noise but remained asleep. Troy upped the game and used his lips and tongue to follow his hand down his side, over his hip and rolled him to the center of the bed. Morning wood. My new favorite thing. Troy straddled Marshall’s calves admiring the beautiful V-shape from shoulders to hips before he started touching again.
“Morning beautiful,” he stated, then went to work on his favorite anytime treat.
It didn’t take long before Troy felt Marshall’s fingers digging into his scalp and his pelvis moving up to meet his face.
“Fuck Troy, you’re going to kill me.” The husky sound of a just woken Marshall made him harder, as if that were possible.
“Good. Now you know how I feel.” He slowly stroked Marshall’s dick. “I don’t think I’ve wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.”
Troy’s heart pounded. He might be the one on top right now, but Marsh held all the power. Please don’t say no. Want me as much as I want you. A small part of him would always doubt he was wanted by this incredibly handsome, virile, physically unscarred man. He could teach him to deal with the interior defects, unlike his exterior ones. They were permanent. Nothing to be done. All he could do was pray Marshall could see through the exterior cloak of bull-shit he’d gathered around himself to the man beneath.
“Then show me. Make love to me like I matter.”
He fell forward, bracing himself on his forearms so that they were face to face. “It will be easy then, because you do matter. You are my heart. If I could go back and change everything that happened for both of us I would. I would never let you go.”
Leaning into Marshall’s hand as he cupped his cheek to wipe the tears from his eyes, he knew he spoke the truth. “I’ll bury anyone who hurts you ever again. I love you, Marsh.”
Taking hold of those curls he loved so fucking much, Troy pulled Marshalls mouth to his own. Rolling him on his side, he reached into the night stand for the bottle of lube he kept there for those nights he jacked off to a nameless face. The face while indistinct always had blonde hair. Troy smirked through the kiss when he realized it. He broke their connection and grinned.
“I’ve been jerking off to thoughts of you for a long fucking time.”
“I’d like to see it some time, but now I just want to use this,” Marshall pulled the lube from his hand, “and have you finish what you started.” He reached down and cupped his balls. “These are mine to do with as I please. I hope you’re prepared.”
“If my cock and balls are yours,” Troy grabbed a handful of his ass and winked. “Then I guess that means this ass is mine too.”
“For now, but I want my turn playing with your toys,” Marsh wagged his brows.
“Our toys,” he said brushing a curl from where he was leaving a trail of kisses down Marshall’s neck. Once Troy found the spot which made him squirm, he smirked twirling his tongue again and again over the spot. After all, one couldn’t be too sure. Besides, he loved the way Marshall grabbed his ass and pressed the flesh downward as he lifted upward rubbing their cocks together.
It was decadent, sexy. Troy’s heart pounded in his chest, arousal guiding every touch. In that moment all he wanted was the man beneath him, but he didn’t want to scare Marshall away with the intensity of his love. He nuzzled the soft skin beneath Marshall’s ear letting his lips and breath skate across the tender flesh until he felt Rico shiver beneath him. Then he placed an open-mouthed kiss in the exact spot and sucked.
Marshall turned his head to the side giving him more room to work and Troy loved it. He didn’t waste a single second. He rolled Marsh to his stomach as he slowly went to his knees leaving tender touches, kisses down Marshall’s spine.
“You’re killing me.”
Troy chuckled low. His cock jerked when he squirted lube onto his thumb and inserted it into Marshall’s hole. “Am I killing you now?”
“Yes.” Marsh backed up into his thumb as he smeared the gel over himself and into his lover.
Troy lined his cock up at the opening. Marshall whimpered in anticipation. Tee could see that Marsh was close to coming just from foreplay. It gave him a sense of satisfaction and pride that he could make the big man lose control so easily. One thing was true, he wasn’t letting Marshall leave without a fight. He’d use all the tricks in his arsenal to keep him here. Troy wasn’t giving up on the man he loved more than his own life. Not again. It was time to remind him of that.
“I don’t want to hurt you babe; I want to make love to you always and forever.”
With a snap of his hips, Troy was in nirvana. The tight muscles of Marshall’s ass held him tight. He felt his lover stiffen. Did I hurt him? Is he having a flashback? Troy leaned forward and welcomed Marsh home by slipping his arm around his wide chest to hold him still. He couldn’t help but give Marshall’s cock a smooth stroke. It didn’t take long and the two men developed a rhythm and bodies came together harder. Thrust and tug, thrust
and tug, repeat over and over. Sweat dripped down Tee’s chest and back into the crack of his ass.
The thought of a worn-torn Middle East was far away. The only thing he thought about was Marshall. Laughing with him, helping him, crying with him, cooking, cleaning, bathing, working-out, shopping, fucking, kissing, always kissing, and making memories with Marshall.
“Come for me baby,” he demanded with his heart racing, straining to keep his organism at bay for a little longer. He didn’t want this to end, but as Marshall came in his hand while shouting out his name, on his sheets, Troy was too fucking proud not to roar out his own pleasure. He fucked Marshall again and again before his vision was lost for a moment and collapsed on-top of Marsh.
Marshall
Always and Forever
Even Troy’s heavy weight didn’t bother him. It was weird actually. Made him feel safer than he’d felt in a long ass time. Then again, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy either. This content. He hadn’t had one urge to get the fuck out of Dodge since he’d unburdened himself. It had to be Troy. It usually had something to do with him.
Now lying here with him, their bodies soaked in sweat, Marshall wanted to do something he hadn’t done in ten fucking years. He yearned to curl up with the man he loved and sleep. Sleep with legs, arms, and breath mingled together. He turned his head to the side and kissed Troy. No fucking way could he speak right now. He was filled with too much emotion. As it was, tears threatened to spill and he didn’t cry, dammit. He was a fucking Marine. He willed them away, but they danced on his lower lids. Locking his fingers with Troy’s, he kissed the center of his palm and moved to his side in order to face his friend and lover.
Never did he want to let this man go. If it meant going back to therapy, he would do it. If he had to come clean and confess every fucking sin, he would just as long as Troy stayed by his side. He stared into those dark eyes, unwilling to look away. Maybe a part of him was afraid this was all a dream.
Always and Forever: An Echo Rescue Series Novella Page 6
