by Sheila Burns
‘Will they operate?’
‘No one can say yet. They are examining her now. We have got to wait and be patient.’
It seemed dreadful to be waiting here for the verdict. Although she had been so jealous of me, and had flung herself into such a rage this morning, I did not wish her any ill. It is a terrible thing to wish anybody dead, and I knew directly Miss Vaughan mentioned her fractured skull that it might mean death.
I said, ‘Please, Miss Vaughan, don’t think that I wish her any ill. It is a terrible thing to have happened, and something must be done to save her life. Something must be done.’
She said very simply and earnestly, and it only verified all my previous knowledge of her: ‘We can do nothing more. There are some things which rest in the hands of Providence, and we can only have faith in that Providence and know that everything is ordained for the best.’
I wish that words were not such futile and empty things. I find myself in difficulties and trying to put what I felt into sentences, trying to express myself, for there is so much that I want to say. I waited there and listened to the sounds of the doctors coming down the stairs, and somebody said that Ray was there. I wanted to go to him, to stand by him and help him in any way that I could, but I was torn two ways. You see, I felt myself to be in the light of ‘the other woman’, and it is not a happy position in which to find yourself.
I could not thrust myself forward and attend to Iris, for whom I would have done anything in the world that could be done. This is the truth. Yet I knew that if she became conscious I should be the very last person who ought to attend her.
‘No, you must wait here,’ Miss Vaughan insisted. ‘It is perhaps the hardest thing for you to do, but you must wait.’
It was the hardest thing to do.
She went out to see what was happening, and she seemed to be gone for an eternity. I felt, left to myself like that, I should go mad. My whole world was in a state of upheaval. I might never see him again, I might never see her again. And during this time it wasn’t our two selves that I thought most of, but of her. I wanted her to get well more than I had ever wanted anything; it seemed incredible.
Hours passed; probably they were only minutes, but they seemed to be dragging because I was so distraught. Then Miss Vaughan came back.
‘They are not operating.’
‘Not?’
‘No. There would be no chance, and she would only die on the table. I am afraid it is a terrible head wound. She will not recover consciousness and, thank Heaven, she will not suffer any pain. I don’t think she had any knowledge of what happened; it was all too quick for that.’
She turned to me, and I saw that her face was genuinely distressed. Her eyes were full of tears.
‘Perhaps I am silly, and perhaps I am taking it too much to heart, but it seems to me so dreadful that anybody should go out that way. It seems to be all wrong, and I am dreadfully sorry for her.’
I said, ‘I am terribly sorry too,’ and then suddenly I did something which is very rare for me. I think that I had been through too much and could not go on any longer. The tension snapped. The room spun round me and I felt everything going black in gyrating spots. I felt the darkness rising up from the floor and engulfing me.
I fainted.
I find it very difficult to write of what happened in between. I only know that it seemed that I lay in darkness for a long while, and that when I recovered I was in bed in one of the rooms right at the top of the home, the cheap little rooms where only the poorest patients are put.
I did not know what lay ahead. Somehow I felt that I did not want to see Ray again, not after a dreadful thing like this; not until we had found our normal selves and had recovered our balance. I did not want to go to Australia.
I was going to be ill.
I realized that all these incidents of the past few months had been leading up to the crisis which had come now, and that I must have crocked up. I lay there in a sort of dim twilight, and when Miss Vaughan came to see me I could not even ask her about Iris. I don’t think I wanted to know. They sent Tenny up to me, to see if she could stir me, but even poor old Tenny could not wake me out of that horrid state of lethargy.
I can’t write about it.
I lay there and I felt too ill to worry any more. I did not care if I ever got up again. I did not care if I lay here for an eternity; life seemed to have been so unfair to me and so hard, and I just believed that I had not got the strength left to face the future.
Then one day the door opened and I saw Ray standing there.
He shut the door behind him and came quietly across the floor to the side of my bed, and stood looking down at me, as I had so often seen him standing beside patients. His eyes were full of sympathy.
He said, ‘This won’t do, you know,’ and again it was a remark I had heard him make to other people when they lay as I did.
‘I know,’ I admitted.
‘You have got to get better, you have got to rouse yourself. Like this you will just fret away, and there is nothing for you to fret yourself about.’
I lay there staring up at him, and he began to talk. He treated me like a child, like someone who does not quite understand what has been happening, and has to be told the string of events to be brought into contact with the affairs of to-day.
‘It was a silly thing to go down like you did,’ he said, ‘just when the whole world was changing. Miss Vaughan told me about you; she told me about the scene before that, the scene which made poor Iris rush off in that crazy way she did. She never saw the car coming, and I believe even if she had seen it she would not have cared. When she got one of those attacks she was quite uncontrollable.’
I still could not speak. I knew then that I wanted to know how she was, but I had only to lie still and he would tell me.
‘Thank God she never suffered!’ he said, and his voice was low. ‘Thank God she went out without a flutter of pain; she just ceased to be. She was making us so very unhappy, and herself, too. She had never been a happy person, poor little soul. She never could have been. That’s all over ‒ a closed chapter, something that has slipped into the past and has become part of that past. The future is ours.’
‘I know,’ I said. No more.
‘You are not going to Australia, Katy; you are staying here in London, here, with me. We have suffered so much, my dear, we can’t go on this way. I am going to get a licence and arrange for the marriage at once.’
‘Our marriage?’
‘Yes, Katy, our marriage. What is the object in waiting? What is the point in staying a single day longer? We love one another, my sweet, and that is sufficient justification for marriage.’
‘But Iris?’
He shook his head. ‘If Iris had lived catastrophe was bound to overtake us. I’m glad in a way, though not that she should have gone out like that. There was tragedy ahead for all of us; we knew it. Perhaps death was the kindest and the swiftest way. Let us forget and start living our own lives at last.’
I put out my hands, and then I knew that he had lifted me up into his arms, and that he was kissing me with all the tenderness of a man who has kissed you in imagination so many times, and has only just come into his rightful heritage.
I cannot tell you any more about it, because the rest is so lovely that it becomes almost sacred. It is so beautiful that there are no words fair enough with which to describe it.
We are amazingly happy.
We are not two, but one. I adore him, and I think that he worships the very ground on which I walk.
Life does not seem to be long enough to contain so much that is exquisite. They say that truth is stranger than fiction, and I, looking back into my own life, and reading my own story, think so, too.
We met in that nursing home, in the actual theatre. We met and we loved. We very nearly lost one another, and yet we married. Now I am his for always. I have my dreams. I am a lucky woman.
‘Whenever I look at you, Katy,’ Miss Vaughan says,
‘I always feel that it is a case of love finding the way.’
Perhaps she is right.
Doctors and Nurses: 3-in-1 box set by Sheila Burns
Three medical romances from the 1960s in one box set. Romance and drama in medical settings.
Doctor Called David ‒ Can Valerie escape her past, or is history destined to repeat itself?
1966. After nurse Valerie Scott is found innocent of a terrible crime and released from jail, she turns to prison doctor David Graves for support. The offer of a new position as a private nurse to a kind and elderly couple seems the ideal chance to rebuild her life. But are the Goddards and their adopted son Gregory all that they seem? And can a doctor called David protect Valerie from a cruel twist of fate?
Dr Irresistible M.D. ‒ Sharon wins a beauty competition but can she win a handsome stranger’s heart?
1962. Sharon’s life takes an unexpected turn when she wins a beauty competition. Then she crashes the prize car of her dreams, and is rescued by a mysterious, good-looking man. He is Glynn Rodwell ‒ Dr Irresistible. The chance of a Mediterranean cruise offers Sharon excitement and opportunity ‒ but if she takes it, will she ever see Dr Irresistible again?
The Eyes of Doctor Karl ‒ Will Cherrie discover the truth behind the hypnotic eyes of a handsome doctor?
1962. While sitting in a traffic jam, Cherrie locks eyes with a dark and handsome man. That evening she reads about the strange case of Dr Karl Heineman whose patients have died in mysterious circumstances. Cherrie accompanies a newspaper reporter friend who is investigating the story. When they call on the doctor, she is surprised to find he is the man whose eyes she hasn’t been able to forget. As Cherrie is drawn closer into his world, will she discover the truth, and love, behind the eyes of Dr Karl?
All three novels previously published separately and now available in one box set.
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Heartbreak Surgeon by Sheila Burns
1963. Nurse Lorna Vane makes some surprising discoveries when she takes up a private nursing job in Cornwall.
When Lorna learns that Dr Michael Bland, the ‘Heartbreak Surgeon’, is to marry another woman, she decides to leave St Botolph’s Hospital. She travels to Cornwall, to work as private nurse to a rich widow, Mrs Liskeard.
Lorna soon realises that caring for her new patient will present many challenges. Could it be that she and Mrs Liskeard’s nephew, Roger, have met before? And will a surprise newspaper announcement change how Lorna feels about the Heartbreak Surgeon?
A medical romance from the 1960s. Romance and drama from the author of the popular Doctors and Nurses box set.
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The Flying Nurse by Sheila Burns
1967. Nurse Mandy Thwaites travels to Malta to care for her ill stepfather. But nursing her patient proves to be more complicated than Mandy could ever have imagined.
After passing her exams and qualifying as a nurse, Mandy is looking forward to a short rest. Then her bossy mother insists that Mandy fly to Malta and look after her sick husband, Cam Sykes.
At the airport, Mandy meets dark and handsome Luis Vella. She doesn’t realise then that this Maltese man will play a big part in her life on the island.
Cam is dangerously ill, but seems more concerned about a mysterious business deal. As Mandy tries to nurse him back to health, she discovers secrets and romance on the enchanting island of Malta.
A medical romance from the 1960s. Romance and drama from the author of the popular Doctors and Nurses box set.
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The Village Nurse by Sheila Burns
1967. Claire Dale suffers a broken love affair with a doctor and leaves her job as Sister at St Julian’ Hospital. She starts a new life as district nurse in a small country village, where romance and trouble follow her.
Claire is in love with handsome surgeon Chris Long, and thinks he loves her too. Then she discovers him in the arms of nurse Lucille Gray, and realises she must get far away from Chris and the hospital. A job as district nurse in the little village of Charnworth seems the perfect solution.
Claire finds that her new post has its challenges. The locals are wary of a pretty young nurse from the city, and she is involved in a car accident which leaves a young man, Terence Anderson, badly injured. But with hard work and determination, Claire settles into her role of delivering babies and caring for her village patients.
When Chris makes a surprise appearance, Claire realises that she still loves him. Will she take Chris back, even though she knows she could never trust him? Or is there another path to more lasting happiness?
A medical romance from the 1960s. Romance and drama from the author of the popular Doctors and Nurses box set.
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