by Nisioisin
“Oh, Araragi. You just love nagging me, don’t you? You and I know full well that you’ll complain if I do pile on the trivia. I’m starting to think that the real tsundere here is you, not li’l missy tsundere. How so spirited, something good happen to you? I didn’t use to say all that to be mean or anything. It was the same for missy class president, missy tsundere, li’l lost girl, miss sapphy, and especially you, Araragi. Each of you stuck your own neck into an aberration, didn’t you?”
“Well, that’s…”
That’s.
“If I may,” Oshino continued, “all of you were perpetrators. Whether or not you meant to be, you were complicit with your aberrations. For people who’ve gotten their hands dirty to wash their feet, a certain process becomes necessary. But it’s different in this case, isn’t it? Nadeko Sengoku is clearly nothing more than a poor victim. She’s done nothing wrong. Even the reason the Jagirinawa was set upon her is weak. For every aberration, there is a reason─but none of that reason here is missy’s doing. Ten snakes, was it? She may have killed them, but even that was her trying to defend herself. She was unlucky, it wasn’t her day─that’s it. I’m not so unreasonable to hold accountable the victim of someone’s malice. What people like that need is to be saved.”
“………”
So that’s what it was.
Sorry, Oshino, I thought you were acting that way to be mean…
It made sense now… That was why his tone sounded so grave from the moment he first named the Jagirinawa. It didn’t have anything to do with the Jagirinawa itself. That was purely Oshino thinking about the victim, Nadeko Sengoku.
“Crimes need to be atoned for, but you can’t allow someone to be judged for a crime they never committed. People in trouble need to be saved─right? Yes, I may not be the nicest guy, but even I have that much kindness for others left in my heart. Though that isn’t to say I’m doing this entirely as volunteer work─this is my job.”
“Yeah, I figured as much.”
“But it’s fine. This can be the change left over from the work you and miss sapphy did for me. The missy who’s like your little sister doesn’t need to do a thing in return.”
“…I see.”
Yes, there may have been that issue of perpetrator versus victim.
But even then, it felt like he was playing favorites.
Maybe he liked middle schoolers.
“But, Araragi. Let me give you just one warning─when one is cursed, two holes are dug. I know I’m saying it again, but I want you to keep the words close in mind, and I want you to think closely about them.”
“Oh… Well, that won’t be hard, it’s not unheard-of advice. You don’t need to do anything special to learn that. I’ve had plenty of chances to find out what it means that have nothing to do with aberrations.”
“I’m sure that’s true─but, Araragi. I don’t know how you see this, but it’s not as if I’m going to be living here forever,” Oshino said, his tone staying frivolous. “Eventually I’ll be done collecting and researching. After all, you and miss sapphy have solved one of my main concerns, or rather, achieved one of my main goals. I will leave this town some day. And when I do, you’re not going to be able to come to me for advice, you know?”
Our debts─had been settled, too.
Oshino continued.
“It’s been a while since I first started wandering from place to place, but this is the first time I’ve ever spoken this much with any one person. There is the fact that you’ve gotten yourself involved with one aberration after the next─but the thing that’s a little odd about you is that you try to deal with every single one. Once you’ve experienced an aberration, you’re more likely to attract them in the future─that much is true, but most people who encountered an aberration will then go out of their way to avoid them.”
“……”
“That’s how things balance themselves out. This relates to what I said about you being a tsundere, but you say all kinds of things about girls, don’t you? That they’re meddling, or that they’re good at looking after others. But all of those traits apply to you, Araragi─not that it’s a bad thing. I’m so envious of your personality that I keep saying nasty things to you, but I think you’re good the way you are. But─what are you planning to do once I’m gone?”
“Er─well.”
Well─I hadn’t ever thought about that.
It went without saying that Oshino wouldn’t reside in my town for the rest of his life, it was like a given─but the question of what I’d do once he was gone wasn’t one I could answer on the spot.
Did we have to talk about this right now?
Oshino went on. “Aberrations exist as though it’s natural for them to be there─they aren’t something you should go out seeking. Do that and of course you might end up as the perp. I think you worry too much, Araragi. You’re overprotective. You have a tendency to try to do something─even when you could just leave it alone.”
“But…” But still. “Once I find out─what am I supposed to do? I know about these things whether I want to or not─so I can’t look the other way or pretend not to know.”
“Ha hah, so would it have been better if you’d forgotten it all, like missy class president? That just might be the best outcome for people like you, Araragi. Forgetting it all─little Shinobu too.”
“How could I forget…”
Something like that?
Of course it wasn’t possible.
It wasn’t ever going to turn out like it had for Hanekawa.
“That’s right,” Oshino said, “little Shinobu, too─yes, right. You’re going to have to look after her all by yourself once I’m gone. That was the choice you made─though you’re of course free to abandon her, too.”
“Come on─Oshino.”
“You need to always be aware of the fact. Because Shinobu isn’t human. You shouldn’t allow yourself to get weirdly empathetic. She’s a vampire. She can look like that now, but that doesn’t change the fact─okay?”
“……”
“Sorry, was that a mean thing to say? There’s no need to worry, though, we’ve gotten to know each other so well. I’m not going to disappear all of a sudden one day without even saying goodbye. I’m an adult, I do know my manners. But if you’re thinking about what to do after graduating from high school─I think it wouldn’t hurt to think about this while you’re at it.”
“So what you’re trying to say is that it’s irresponsible for me to attempt to save everyone I come across? That it’s irresponsible to be kind to everyone─Hanekawa told me that one, too. But, Oshino, I can’t become someone like you. Like you say, I’m about a tenth vampire─an actual aberration. I can’t get on the human side and go around banishing aberrations.”
If I did, the very first one I needed to banish was myself.
Then Shinobu.
And that─wasn’t happening.
It wasn’t something I could do.
“I wouldn’t say that’s true,” Oshino told me. “This job is all knowledge and know-how anyway. A half-human, half-creature who hunts spirits? Sounds cool, like a manga character.”
“Well…maybe it is possible, since there’s even a Hawaiian-shirted specialist in the field…”
“And,” Oshino reminded me, “if ever in your life you feel like it, Araragi…you can abandon Shinobu and go back to being a full-fledged human─I hope you don’t forget that, either.”
006
We were in the remains of the shrine.
That abandoned shrine atop the mountain.
It was the dead of the night, after we had been busy preparing for so long.
I considered waiting until the next day, but if we waited one more day, those scale marks, the Jagirinawa’s grip, might reach up to her neck (she wouldn’t be able to hide it if that happened since she couldn’t walk around wearing a scarf in this season─even if regular people couldn’t see those markings). The middle of the night or not, we decided to fight for every
minute and second and do it as soon as possible. My family took a hands-off approach with me, and the same went without saying for Kanbaru. A slight issue arose regarding Sengoku’s curfew as an active-duty middle schooler, but she asked one of her school friends to come up with an alibi for her (a sleepover or something like that). It seems obvious, but Sengoku apparently had friends other than the one who had cursed her.
Having a lot of friends.
A good thing, I thought.
While I was more than a little worried at first about doing this at the same shrine ruins where everything began, Oshino gave us his stamp of approval, telling us it was fine. I thought he said it because we had already placed the talisman on the main hall, but it was actually a matter of process. Even if we were dealing with bad things, all we had to do was get them on our side─according to him. The Jagirinawa’s existence would be more conspicuous precisely because of the location─it would be easier to come in contact with─or something like that.
I didn’t get it, to be honest.
But, I guessed, it was an expert’s advice. I’d trust it.
Shinobu was in a room on the third floor so I gave her a casual greeting (She really had gotten in a fight with Oshino over Mister Donuts. He’d eaten all of her favorite flavors yet again. Mèmè Oshino, you’re not even immature, you’re just childish) before leaving the abandoned cram school and heading straight back home. Sure enough, Kanbaru hadn’t laid a finger on Sengoku despite sharing a room with her the whole time, nor had she gone after my little sisters, both of whom were now home.
“Great job holding yourself back, Kanbaru!”
“Yes…and hearing the earnestness in your words of praise, for the first time I’m wondering if I’d joked around too much in your presence, and am regretting it…”
Kanbaru seemed depressed.
She not only hadn’t tried to seduce Sengoku, but they’d been chatting.
“Miss Kanbaru was kind to me, Big Brother,” the introverted Sengoku jumped in to stand up for her. “She let me borrow her volleyball shorts, too.”
“That doesn’t count as kindness,” I played the straight man for Sengoku, a first.
A day for the history books.
In any case, talking to her was hard because our exchanges weren’t punctuated with jokes unlike with the rest of the bunch. Thanks to those bastards, I couldn’t have normal conversations anymore. Sadly for Sengoku, she’d have to go along with our style.
I had her and Kanbaru sneak out of my house while I kept my two little sisters busy, and then I stepped out, too, with nary an excuse. My sisters seemed suspicious (especially my youngest sister, perceptive girl), but I forced them away in the end and proceeded to the rendezvous point to meet up with the girls. We went to a general (and not a convenience) store that was open late to buy the needed tools (neither Kanbaru nor Sengoku had much money on them given how sudden this was, so I paid for it all) before heading to the mountains. We all walked.
“Sengoku.”
“Uh, yes…Big Brother?”
She’d twitched.
Maybe she thought I was going to yell at her.
So delicate, like she was made of glass.
“Those marks on you─I heard they actually hurt. Are you okay?”
“Ah…” All the color drained from her face. “U-Um… Please don’t be mad.”
“No, I’m not trying to blame you for anything.”
She probably thought I was about to scold her for lying. I didn’t know if she was timid, or too quick to see herself as a victim… Every time a character like her appeared in a manga, I’d wonder how irritating someone like that would be in real life, but it actually wasn’t that bad… I simply felt like protecting her, prior to whether or not I was a good person. Of course, the fact that she was quite a bit younger than me helped.
“I was just wondering if you were okay.”
“W-Well.” Sengoku tugged her hat far down her face. As if to hide it. As if she didn’t want to be seen. “It hurts, like something is tightening down on me, but…I can still bear it.”
Pulverizing the bones─to make it easier to eat.
Snake behavior.
“…Having to bear it is wrong to begin with. If something hurts─it’s okay to say so.”
“He’s right,” Kanbaru butted in. “Getting tied up is one thing, but staying tied up takes a surprising toll on your body. Whether it’s a snake or ropes.”
“Kanbaru, why you would gloss over getting tied up, and more subtly, the emotional toll of it, baffles me.”
This woman didn’t regret a thing.
Sengoku stifled a giggle at our back-and-forth.
Despite her timidity, maybe she was quick to laugh. In that case, talking about the thirteen-sign zodiac, which set off even Kanbaru, was absolutely off limits around Sengoku. She might laugh herself to death.
We sprayed each other with a bug repellent from the general store before going up the mountain. It was the middle of the night, which meant we needed to worry about bugs before any aberrations. While we were all fully protected in long sleeves and long pants, it was an additional safety measure for Kanbaru and me and could help Sengoku down along the line.
Once we finished, we got going.
It was pitch black, of course.
As we climbed the stairs, all three of us lit the way ahead with the flashlights we’d bought at the same general store. The wild animals and insects were horribly loud. It wasn’t that way in the afternoon, and I felt like we were explorers on some expedition. I was almost deluded into thinking I was lost in a jungle.
“You know, Sengoku,” I said.
“Yes?”
“I was wondering about something. Why did you turn that boy down? You didn’t have any idea your friend had feelings for him, right? So there wasn’t any reason for you to say no.”
“Well…”
She fell silent.
Someone with so little mental fortitude, who went quiet over just that much, rejecting a confession of love was even more perplexing…
“I-I’m sorry,” she apologized. For no reason.
“Um, it’s not something you need to apologize for.”
“Ah, y-yes, you’re right. I-I’m sorry. I’m…well… I’m sorry.”
She’d apologized twice between a single pair of quotation marks.
Three times in total.
She was over-apologizing.
“No, Sengoku─”
Kanbaru spoke up. “That was a rather insensitive question. It’s unlike you. Be more considerate.”
“Oh…really?”
“Yes, really. There are plenty of reasons to say no. In fact, why date someone you don’t particularly love?”
“Hmm…”
It was a legitimate point.
I also realized that Kanbaru making one came to me as a surprise.
“Take me, for example,” she said. “It’s because I love you that─”
“We’re not going out!”
“Huh…is that true?” asked Sengoku, puzzled. “You aren’t dating Miss Kanbaru?”
“No!”
“O-Oh… You seemed to get along so well that…I was sure you two were.”
“I’ll admit that we get along.”
About as well as I got along with Hachikuji.
Then again, unlike Hachikuji, at least Kanbaru never maligned me… In that sense, maybe I got along with her a little better.
…As for the girl I was actually dating, she only ever seemed to malign me…
“Kanbaru. Back me up and tell her no.”
“Mm. He’s right, we’re not going out.” She told Sengoku in an explanatory tone, “He and I are just having fun─we’re playing around.”
“That is very open to misinterpretation, isn’t it!”
“We’re such good friends that we could dismiss anything as a sort of accident.”
“Are you just being straight-up pernicious?! I hate you!”
“Hey. That kind of hurt.”<
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“Ack… Er, sorry. I love you.”
Wasn’t she going to receive anything I said with great joy? What a difficult girl.
Actually, I was the weak one here for apologizing.
Even as Kanbaru and I bickered, Sengoku mumbled, “Oh…so you’re not going out,” sounding relieved for some reason.
“I turned him down because there’s someone else I like,” she told us. Her apparent embarrassment was sweet. “But…that friend seems to have misunderstood me…and now this happened… I-I wonder if it was my fault…”
