by Presley Hall
“I’ve never done this before,” I murmur, my hand still slowly stroking him. “But I want to try.”
He, unsurprisingly, doesn’t argue. His eyes glow like fire as he leans back against the pillows, spreading his powerful thighs. I move between them, my hands caressing his hips and legs as I lean forward to press my lips against the tip of his cock.
When my tongue flicks out to trace the underside of it, his whole body jerks, his head falling back as he groans deeply. I watch him as I take the first inch of his cock into my mouth. His face is taut with pleasure, every inch of him trembling with desire as I slide down slowly, careful of my teeth, learning the taste and texture of him.
The emotions that swell in my chest as I run my hands over his thighs and wrap my hand around him again startle me.
I always knew that doing this could feel intimate, but I never knew just how much.
I can’t take all of him—he’s too long and too thick—but I slide all that I can into my mouth, stroking the rest of his rigid shaft with my hand as I make my way back up, running my tongue around the tip again and tasting him. He’s wet there, the way I am, and I find that I like the taste of it.
“Nadia, oh gods, please don’t stop,” he chokes out, and the raspy sound of his voice sends a thrill through me like nothing I’ve ever known.
I can feel the tension in him, the muscles in his legs rock-hard with the effort not to come yet, and I love that I’m driving him mad with desire. Part of me wants to crawl up his body and sink myself down onto him, to give him my virginity now and take him as my mate, but I hold myself back. I know he’s right, after all, we need to still wait.
But like he said, we can make each other feel good in other ways.
I keep going until he’s panting with need, his cock slick from my mouth, my hand moving faster and faster as I suck and lick up and down the length of him. I’m wet too, my body aching, my inner thighs sticky with arousal, but I’m entirely focused on his pleasure now, just as he was for me.
Suddenly, as I suck hard at the tip of him, sliding down until it presses against the back of my throat, he lets out an almost animalistic groan, his thighs beginning to shake.
“I’m going to come,” he warns, his jaw clenched. “Oh krax—Nadia, you don’t have to—”
Whatever he was going to say is lost in the rush of his orgasm, his control snapping as I choke a little on his cock, the tip sliding into my throat. I slide my mouth all the way up just in time to feel the first hot rush of his release hit my tongue.
I realize now what he was trying to tell me a second ago—that I don’t have to let him come in my mouth.
But I want to. I want all of him. I want to taste him, devour him, touch and explore every part of him.
His hips jerk upward as he comes hard, his cock erupting between my lips. I keep sucking, refusing to let go of him until he’s done, until I’ve swallowed every last bit of what he has to give me. He moans my name, over and over, until at last he slumps back onto the bed, as sweaty and limp as he left me earlier.
I run my tongue over him once more, enjoying the taste of him and the sensation of him softening slightly in my mouth, and he shudders.
“Oh gods, that’s too much,” he groans, reaching for me. He pulls me all the way up his body so that I’m lying on his chest, then buries his hands in my hair and kisses me fiercely, seeming not to mind the fact that I still taste of him.
“Was that good?” I ask timidly when he breaks the kiss. “I’ve never—”
“It was incredible,” he tells me, laughing as he tries to catch his breath. “The best I’ve ever had.”
I narrow my eyes at him as he shifts, rolling me to one side and gathering me in his arms. “That can’t possibly be true.”
“It is. Everything with you feels… different. Better than anything I’ve ever experienced before. What you just did made me see stars. I can’t wait for you to do it again,” he teases me softly. Then his face turns more serious, his voice low and deep and sensual. “I can’t wait to do everything with you.”
He kisses me again as if he’s sealing a promise. His tongue tangles with mine as he runs his fingers through my hair, and I snuggle more deeply into his arms.
I’m falling for him.
I can feel it happening, the connection between us growing deeper and deeper with every hour we spend together, every kiss and caress and conversation. We’ve only known each other for a short time, but it doesn’t feel that way. Honestly, I can’t imagine my life without him anymore. Having him with me has added a dimension to it that I never imagined could exist, that seemed impossible before we bonded.
Zatir is like nothing I ever expected to find.
He opened himself up to me, and now it’s my turn. As scary as it is, I have to risk being vulnerable with him too.
I look up at him, opening my mouth to speak, to tell him the story I’ve been too ashamed to talk about until now—
But before I can say anything, a shrieking sound fills the air, startling us both. My stomach drops.
Oh, shit.
Something has triggered the ship’s alarm.
19
Zatir
I’m on full alert the moment I hear the alarm screaming through the ship. I pull away from Nadia, sitting bolt upright in bed.
“Is it another attack?” she asks, fear filling her voice.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” I leap up, motioning for her to follow me. We both run toward the bridge, Nadia quickly retying her dress as we go. I don’t even bother with my loincloth; I’m too worried about the source of the alarm. The last thing I want right now is another attack.
It’s not that, thank the gods. But it takes me only a few moments to find the actual cause—the cloaking device has failed, leaving us floating out in space for anyone to pass by and see.
“Krax!” I curse aloud, gritting my teeth as I try to reactivate it. But it’s no use. The thing is completely dead.
“What’s wrong?” Nadia peers around me, and I shift to one side.
“The cloaking device is broken. It must have been damaged in the fight, before we commandeered the ship.” I press my lips together, sighing as I sit down heavily in the captain’s chair. “This means we aren’t going to be able to just sneak onto the asteroid where we’ll find Kildred. We’ll be too obvious. There’s no way to fly in unnoticed.”
Nadia’s face immediately creases with worry, and I hurry to reassure her. I don’t want to frighten her. She needs to understand the seriousness of what we’re doing and the danger, but I don’t want her unnecessarily alarmed.
“There are other ways to accomplish it,” I tell her, shooting her a confident smile that I hope will bolster her. “I’m fairly familiar with Kildred’s shipping lines already, from back when I spent all that time sabotaging his trade deals with the Orkun. I know where the cargo ships that deliver goods to that asteroid make their stops.”
I pull up the holo map for her as I speak, pointing out the planets. “We’ll go to one of these, probably Zarel, and board one of the cargo ships. Then, once it arrives on the Manea Colony, we’ll sneak off as soon as it lands and go from there. We’ll find a way to get close enough to take Kildred out and eliminate the threat.”
Nadia nods, her expression nervous but still determined. I feel a flicker of pride—my mate is brave beyond anything I could have hoped for—but also a twinge of deep fear in the pit of my stomach for her. Since the day I lost my squadron in the Orkun attack, I’ve done all I can to avoid attachments. I preferred to be alone, never wanting to face the possibility of losing anyone I cared about again.
That plan became completely futile the moment I met my mate. I care about her more than anyone I’ve ever known, and I was helpless to resist the bond. The truth is, I’ve never wanted to.
I want her. I want everything the bond promises us.
But I never meant to put her in danger in my pursuit of her. And if something happens, it will be my fault. I
brought her up here, after all. I convinced her to go on that flight in my ship.
The thought of losing her makes my heart ache, a deep and piercing pain that feels as fresh and raw as the last loss I endured. The bond may not be consummated yet, I may not have claimed her entirely, but it’s completely real for me.
Nadia is my Irisa, through and through.
And I would, without doubt or question, die for her.
20
Nadia
We arrive on Zarel the next day. It’s not much to look at, a dry and barren planet clearly used only as a cargo stop, with a drab city composed mostly of a dock and shipping facilities, and a few buildings that appear to contain housing pods.
“We’ll meet an alien called Quulan here,” Zatir tells me. “He’s a crew member on a ship that has a route to the Manea Colony. I don’t know him well, but I am acquainted with him, and I’ve enlisted his help before.”
I can hear the same wariness in Zatir’s voice that I feel at the mention of this new alien. I’m nervous about all of this after being betrayed by Grub, someone that Zatir clearly knew and trusted. But we’re out of options. We need to find passage to the Manea Colony, and since our stolen ship is no longer a possibility, it’s either trust Quulan or someone else who Zatir doesn’t know at all.
The choice is clear. We just have to hope that he won’t sell us out the way Grub did.
We meet Quulan on the docks by the cargo ship, where he’s hoisting crates of supplies onto a loading mechanism.
“Zatir!” he calls out as soon as he sees us approaching, his voice booming and good-natured.
“Quulan.” Zatir’s voice is much more terse. “It’s good to see you again. I’m in need of your assistance—paid, of course. If you might be inclined to offer it to me and my companion.”
Quulan frowns slightly, glancing around the docks. Then he gestures for us to step inside where we won’t be heard. Zatir’s shoulders are tight, and he hovers in front of me protectively the way he did with Grub, ready to snap if there’s any hint of lasciviousness or harm toward me.
But surprisingly, my first impression of Quulan is that he seems trustworthy. He’s short and burly, hairier than any alien I’ve ever seen, with teal skin and a nose that looks slightly piggish. Despite his diminutive height, he’s huge, with muscles instead of fat making up his bulk, which makes him more than a little intimidating. And he’s clearly a little rough around the edges, grinning and winking at Zatir after taking me in at a glance.
“Got a female companion, I see,” he says, earning a glare from Zatir, which he shrugs off. “I’ve never seen you carting around one of those before. But I wouldn’t let that one out of my sight either, eh?”
He all but elbows Zatir, snorting a little as he laughs. But on him, it’s not gross, just the ribald teasing of a friend. I don’t get a bad vibe from him at all, and I find myself feeling more and more comfortable with trusting that. My experience with Kevin made me doubt myself for so long, but I can feel myself growing more and more secure in my judgement of people again. I don’t want to second-guess my feelings anymore.
I hear Kildred’s name, and look sharply toward Zatir and Quulan, tuning back in to the conversation.
“Kildred?” Quulan crosses his arms over his bulky chest, and spits on the floor of the ship. “Worst kind of scum in the universe, if you ask me. If that’s who you’re going up against, count me in.” He shakes his head. “Trust me, Zatir, if anyone comes after you in his name, it’s for love of money, not love of Kildred. There’s not a being in this universe who likes him—really likes him—if you ask me. He has plenty of sycophants, on account of fear or money, but he’s a vicious and petty overlord that rules based on those two things. You’d have a hard time finding many who would help you, but there’ll be no shortage of those cheering you on if you succeed.”
“I’ve already been betrayed by one friend on account of the bounty he has on me.” Zatir looks sharply at Quulan. “I hope that you aren’t so easily swayed.”
“I’d rather go bankrupt than be in Kildred’s pocket.” Quulan spits on the ground again, and I wince. His spittle stinks, but the rest of the ship is surprisingly pristine, if crowded with cargo. “Of course, there’s the matter of how you’re paying. I’m taking on a lot of risk here. I’d like to do it out of the kindness of my heart, but—”
Zatir huffs a laugh, cutting off the other alien.
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t trust your help if I didn’t pay you for it. We flew here on a confiscated ship.” He points to our ship, which is docked a few rows down. “That one. You’re welcome to it. It’s got some battle damage, and the cloaking device is damaged, but it can be easily fixed up or turned into parts. You’ll make money either way.”
“Good enough.” Quulan pauses for a moment, cocking his head to one side as he considers something. “I’ll have to stow you away now. I can’t risk you leaving and being seen, then smuggled back on. I’ll leave you with enough food and water to make the trip, but you’ll have to stay put until you reach Manea. If you’re caught—” He draws a finger warningly across his throat. “It’ll be out the airlock with you. They won’t tolerate stowaways.”
A chill runs down my spine, but I manage to hide it. We’re in this now. There’s no turning back, and I know it doesn’t do any good to think about how it might have turned out differently. Honestly, if I think about it at all, I can’t deny that I would’ve chosen to go up in the ship with Zatir no matter what. Even if we die on this mission, it’s been the best few days of my life.
Quulan sneaks us into a cabin at the very back of the ship, one filled with crates and cargo. There’s a tiny bunk and a bathing room hardly big enough to turn around in. In fact, due to the amount of cargo, most of the room is hardly big enough to turn around in. But it’ll be easy enough to hide in here, and clearly no one is planning on using this cabin.
He leaves us with enough dried food supplies and water to make it to Manea—I hear him telling Zatir that it should be about a week. The thought of being closed up in this room with our future so uncertain for a week makes my stomach tighten uneasily, but I’m glad that at least I’m with Zatir. I’m beginning to feel that anything could be bearable as long as he’s with me.
“Good luck,” Quulan says finally, letting out a long breath. “I’ll be on the flight to Manea as a ship’s crewmate, but I won’t be able to visit you or help you in any way. It’d be too dangerous for all of us. Once I leave this room, that’s it. We can’t speak again. You’ve got to stay locked in this room, and be as quiet as you possibly can. If you need to bathe or use the toilet facilities, try to do it when the ship is most active, particularly morning or night when everyone else is doing the same. Once the ship arrives, it’ll be up to you to get off without being seen.”
“Thank you,” Zatir says gruffly, and the two men exchange a look. Quulan smiles at me, a kind expression on his face—kinder than I would have expected from someone as rough and brutish as he is.
“Take care of this one,” he tells Zatir. “She seems brave as well as pretty.”
With that, he nods to us both, and leaves the room.
Zatir turns to me, and I try to quiet the butterflies in my stomach. It feels like there’s an entire flock in there, doing barrel rolls until I wonder if I might throw up from nerves. But I manage to get control of it, putting on a brave face as I look up at Zatir.
“Come on,” he says, reaching for my hand. “Let’s go sit in the bunk.”
I feel more secure in Zatir’s arms, curled up in the small space by the wall. He moves several of the crates so that the bunk is mostly hidden by them, invisible to anyone who might come in. If someone does, we might be able to move and find a better hiding spot before they can see us.
It’s not long before the ship takes off. I can feel it lifting away from the dock, and Zatir’s arms tighten around me. My stomach flips again, my heart pounding wildly in my chest as I close my eyes and lay my face against Zatir’s ch
est, breathing in the sweet, almond scent of his skin.
There’s no going back now—we’re on this path until the bitter end, good or bad, succeed or fail.
And I hope like hell that it won’t end badly.
21
Nadia
Those first days in the cabin as the ship flies toward the Manea Colony are some of the longest in my life. We do exactly as we were told—we have no other choice—staying put entirely, never leaving the room, and being as quiet as we possibly can.
Under other circumstances, we might have found interesting ways to pass the time, but we don’t dare do anything that might cause us to make a loud or sudden noise, and I’m not sure I could keep quiet with Zatir so much as kissing me, let alone anything else. We’re both on edge constantly, waiting for someone to come into the cabin, and that, coupled with the lack of anything to do, makes the trip both intensely boring and extremely nerve-wracking, which is a very odd combination.
But Zatir does his best to keep me entertained. Keeping his voice low, he tells me story after story about his exploits across the universe, and it gives me a chance to see the other side of him in a whole new light.
As he tells me stories about near-misses in alien gambling dens and outrunning ships after blowing up supply lines, stories of entering a race against ships built for speed and still being canny and creative enough to win, I see why he’s so cocky and confident, almost brash most of the time. Now that I know the deeper emotions he’s capable of, I know that his lighter side is what he uses to keep himself from brooding, from giving in to the dark parts of his past that haunt him. His recklessness and adventurousness isn’t so much a carelessness about whether he lives or dies as a way for him to live his life fully, to honor his fallen warriors by seizing his own life in its entirety.
