by Levine, Nina
We were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. Madison pulled away, wiped her eyes and reached in her purse for a tissue. I focused my gaze on her as I answered my phone. “Yeah?”
It was Scott. “You got her?” He was always to the point; I appreciated that about him, no fucking about.
“Yeah. I think we’ve just come to an agreement.” I raised my eyebrows at Madison, waiting for her acknowledgement. She nodded her head once, which I knew pained her to do. Releasing tension I hadn’t realised I was holding, I waited for Scott to continue.
“Good, because Nix just killed Georgie. This shit is really fucked up now.”
“Fuck!” I roared. Georgie was Bec’s fifteen-year-old son. Nix and Bec had been together for a year before she recently left him. He’d taken them both out, so his agenda was pretty clear. “You’ve got Crystal?” That poor kid, Bec’s ten-year-old daughter, had lived through some ugly shit and now she was alone in the world.
Madison’s eyes were wild; she’d picked up that something bad was going down and snatched the phone out of my hand. “What’s happened?”
Tears reformed in her eyes, and broken sobs filled the street as Scott spoke to her. I reached out and touched her on the shoulder; it was an automatic movement and she didn’t flinch. It reminded me of a time when things were good between us, but that love didn’t exist anymore. We’d killed it.
She ended the call and handed me back my phone before turning around and walking towards the restaurant. I could tell she was wiping the tears from her face.
“What are you doing?” I called out.
Without turning to look at me, she replied, “I’m just saying goodbye to my friends. I’ll be right back so wait here.”
I let her go. This day had completely turned to shit. And yet, it was fucking good to see Madison.
Shit.
5
Madison
As I entered the restaurant to say goodbye, Blake’s eyes met mine from across the room. He was mingling with his customers but left them to come to me.
“You okay?” he asked.
I shook my head, tears threatening to spill again, but I pulled my big girl panties up and said, “Not really, but I will be. It turns out that Scott wasn’t kidding when he said that there was some bad shit going down. I just found out an old friend of mine was murdered by Nix.”
He sucked in a breath. “Fuck, babe. Why?”
I shrugged. “Who knows why Nix does anything he does, but the club thinks it’s because she tried to leave him.”
His eyes widened in understanding. “So, they think he will come after you now because you left him. Is that what this is all about?”
“Yes, I think so. Knowing Scott and J though, there’s most likely more to it they aren’t telling me.”
“What are you going to do? Go home?”
“I need some time to think it through, but maybe. My friend’s daughter is all alone now so I want to check on her. She’s only ten, Blake. How could someone do that to her? Take away her family like that.” My chest became heavy as despair travelled through my veins. “I can’t believe I dated him. It makes me feel sick.”
He pulled me into a hug. “There are some twisted people out there, baby girl. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
Nodding, I answered, “Yeah, honey. I know I can always count on you.”
Stepping out of his embrace, I turned to the table where our friends were. They all watched us intently, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I smiled and left Blake to speak to them.
Serena stood up and came to me with a huge hug. “You’ve been crying. What the fuck did he say to you?” She was mad on my behalf and I loved that about her.
“I’ll fill you in later, okay?” She nodded and I continued, “I’m leaving with J now, so I’ll see you when you get home.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
I smiled. “No, I’m okay with him. Besides he looks exhausted and will probably just go to sleep. I need some time alone to think.”
“Fair enough, but I won’t be home too late.”
“Thanks.”
I said goodbye to Faith and Rowan, and then headed back outside to J. He sat on his bike waiting for me, still looking as pissed off as he had when he first arrived.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
“Yes, but I’m not so sure I’ll be able to get on your bike in this dress.”
He smirked. “Never stopped you before, babe,” he said, letting his eyes roam over my body. My traitorous body reacted immediately under his gaze, my pulse beating faster and my nipples pebbling.
Flustered, it was easier to be on the defensive. “Just pass me a helmet,” I snapped.
He did what I asked and then turned around, settling into his seat while I attempted to hike my dress up enough to allow me to sit behind him. Somehow I managed this; although, I did feel like my ass was exposed for all the world to see.
His hands gripped my legs and pulled me closer to him. Bloody hell, my pussy took immediate notice, and that was not a good thing. Not where J was concerned, because if I let her take control of the situation, God knew where we would end up.
I wrapped my arms around him and held on while we sped off into the night. Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into my driveway. I guessed that Scott had given him my address. Letting go of him, I did my best to get off the bike without flashing too much and quickly smoothed my dress down before removing the helmet and giving it back to him.
Without a second glance in his direction, I went inside and headed to the kitchen, flipping on lights as I went. I was not one of those people who tried to conserve power or money by never putting lights on; I loved the house lit up. Turning on the tap, I filled the kettle and started making coffee. Figuring J could do with a caffeine hit, I got him a mug too but then stopped myself when I went to fill it. It had been awhile since I’d made him coffee, perhaps he took it differently now.
He entered the kitchen and I turned to him, holding up the coffee and a spoon. “How do you have your coffee these days?”
“Same as before,” he replied, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms.
I felt a little self-conscious with him watching me like this, but hell would freeze over before I admitted that to him, so I went about the task of making coffee. We stood in silence while waiting for the kettle to boil. It was uncomfortable and I wished that J would say something, anything, but he didn’t. Eventually, I finished making our drinks and handed his to him before we both took a seat at the kitchen table. And, again, there was complete silence. Normally, I enjoyed silence, but with J it felt awkward.
So I forced myself to say something. “How the hell did Bec end up with Nix?” Both her kids’ fathers had been bikers who had screwed her over so the last I knew she’d sworn off bikers altogether.
“From what I can work out she flipped after what happened with Rob and got into some bad shit. Led her to Nix eventually. I think he targeted her.”
My mind raced and my anxiety rose. I didn’t want to talk about Rob and J had caught me off guard even bringing it up. My hand brushed over the scar on my arm without me realising it, until I saw J’s eyes move to it. He lifted his hand and moved to touch me. “Don’t,” I snapped, and scraped my chair back so I could stand.
“Fuck, Madison. You’re still dealing with that, aren’t you?” J stood and moved towards me, but I backed away. Reaching his arm out, he hooked it around my waist, and pulled me towards him.
I raised my palms to his chest in an effort to halt his progress of bringing us together. “Don’t talk to me about dealing with that. I fucking have. You’ve got no idea what I’ve been through with all that shit, so don’t think you know all about it.” I tried to push away from him but he was too strong and held me close. With my heart beating wildly, I ignored his scent, ignored our closeness. I needed to protect myself. The only way to do that was to keep pushing, and if I couldn’t do that physically, my best
bet was to stick with the bitch routine.
“You might have dealt with your drinking and I hope you fucking have, babe, but I can tell that you haven’t sorted through some of the other shit in your head,” he bit out.
“It’s none of your business. You made it perfectly clear you weren’t interested when you told me to leave,” I hissed, and gave him another shove. He relented and let me go.
His face contorted in anger and he raked his fingers through his hair. “Fine. I don’t wanna get into this crap right now anyway.” He jabbed his finger at me. “Mark my fucking words though, we will be getting into it.”
Oh, my God. He was still one bossy fucker. And as much as I tried to ignore the fact, desire screamed through me at his bossiness.
I hope I can be strong enough to stay out of his bed
I pray I can be strong enough to guard my heart.
I rolled over and checked the time on the bedside clock. Three a.m. Shit, it was going to be a long night; I’d woken up every hour since I went to bed at midnight. The revelations of the evening had stirred up long suppressed feelings and I couldn’t stop the memories. I reached for my smokes and lit one, taking a long, hard drag on it. I closed my eyes as it filled my lungs and the smell of it hit my nostrils. Smoking was a habit I was trying to break, but in times of stress it calmed my nerves. I took another drag, trying desperately to block out the images of Bec suffering at the hands of Nix.
Bec was my best friend growing up. Her father was also a member of the club and we’d been inseparable. She was a few years older than me and had always looked out for me. Bec had fallen pregnant at seventeen, and I had helped her look after Georgie when he was born, and later, Crystal. We’d been through a lot together and had always sworn nothing would come between us, but then on that fateful day that changed my life, something had come between us and there had been no going back from it. Bec cut me out of her life and I’d had to learn how to live life without the unwavering support of a best friend. Even after Nix had fucked me up, she didn’t check in on me; she hated me that much. But I had never stopped loving her and my broken heart cracked even more at the realisation that I would never see her again.
Bec’s hatred stemmed from the fact she’d been dating Rob at the time he attacked me. They’d been together for a couple of years, and although he’d often flirted with me, I naïvely thought he was harmless. Turned out he was far from harmless. After J killed him, and he and Scott buried the body, Bec had been heartbroken at his disappearance. She wasn’t stupid though, and suspected the club had something to do with it because Rob and the club had always had problems. Threats had been made against him so she assumed that the club had finally made good on those threats. And when he’d failed to ever show up again, and I hadn’t helped her find him, she turned against me saying that I’d taken the club’s side. If only she knew the truth. But I couldn’t tell her the truth because it implicated J.
I stubbed out my smoke and left my bed. There was no point trying to force sleep. Wandering out to the kitchen, I saw the light on and realised J was up. He sat at the table and looked up when he heard me. We hadn’t spoken much after we’d argued. Before shutting myself away in my bedroom, I’d hooked him up with a pillow and blanket. I didn’t trust myself with him yet and needed to work through my conflicting emotions. Although I thought I was over him, especially after the way he’d treated me, relief at seeing him again confused me.
“Scott called. Fucking prospects lost Nix. We’re on it, but haven’t found him yet,” J said as I walked past him to get a glass of water. His voice was husky from sleep and he sat dressed in only his jeans. No freaking shirt. J was easily the best looking man I had ever met and having those muscles shoved in my face at this time of the morning, when I had little sleep was making my brain fire haphazardly. It wasn’t safe to be this close to him when he was shirtless. And was that my tattoo still on his chest? Surely not; surely he would have had that removed. I wasn’t going to stare to confirm it though.
“You boys are resourceful so I’m sure you’ll find him soon.” I stumbled over my words distracted by his bare chest and arms.
“Are you taking this seriously, Madison?” he asked sharply.
Annoyed at his tone, all thoughts of his body disappeared. “Of course I am.”
“Well, you don’t fucking seem like it.” He glared at me, waiting for my response.
I decided it was probably best to avoid the rest of this conversation. After finishing my drink, I placed my empty glass in the sink. “I’m going back to bed. I need more sleep to be able to deal with this, J.”
His eyes penetrated mine as I walked past him and I wasn’t sure what I saw in them. It looked like lust but it was probably anger and frustration. Lack of sleep often led me to the wrong conclusions.
I made my way to my bedroom door and was just closing it when he pushed it open. There was no light on so I could only make him out roughly, but the energy surrounding us was charged.
He stood in the doorway, and as I adjusted to the darkness, I could tell he was running his eyes over my body. I’d been right when I thought his eyes held lust; he radiated it now. And hell, it turned me on. I’d never wanted any other man like I wanted J. Sure, I loved sex and craved it, but J brought out carnal desires in me that no one else seemed able to.
“J, what are you doing?” I tried hard to concentrate, but found it almost impossible
He took a step toward me and reached out, brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I’d almost gotten to a place where I didn’t think about you every fucking day,” he murmured, surprising the hell out of me.
His words snapped me out of my lust-fuelled trance and I pushed his hand away from my face. “What the hell?” My body stiffened as I waited for his response. Why was he saying that crap to me? He was the one who told me he didn’t love me anymore, the one who sent me away. Why would he still be thinking about me?
“You’ve no idea, baby. No idea...” he muttered and walked out of the room, leaving me confused and annoyed. J was a walking contradiction, and I sensed this was just the beginning. Events from the past were going to start catching up with me and I was powerless to stop it.
6
Jason
I rolled over and almost fell out of bed. Shit. It wasn’t a bed, it was a couch, and it was the most uncomfortable couch I had ever slept on. Sitting up, I realised what had woken me up. A fucking blender going off in the kitchen. Who the fuck used a blender at this time of the day? Or maybe it was later than I thought. I checked my watch. Nope, it was six o-fucking-clock.
Shifting my legs to put my feet on the ground, I reached for my jeans. I slid into them, threw my t-shirt on, and then stumbled into the kitchen. My guess was that it wasn’t Madison. I’d never known her to be a six-a.m.-blender chick. And I was right. I rounded the corner and discovered a chick making a mess with leaves and fruit as she concocted some fucking awful green drink.
As she lifted a glass of it to her lips, I asked, “What the fuck is that?”
She turned, startled, and grumbled, “Morning to you, too. It’s a green smoothie.”
I rubbed my eyes; it was too early to take all this in. I had never seen anyone drink something that looked that disgusting. “Right,” I muttered as I headed to the kettle. “I need coffee.”
She pointed at the blender. “There’s smoothie left if you want some.”
“Not fucking likely,” I said, and made coffee as she stood there, sipping her drink and looking me up and down.
“How long you here for?” she eventually asked.
I shrugged. “For as long as it takes.”
“For as long as what takes?”
I stopped what I was doing and turned to face her. “For as long as it takes to get Madison to come home with me.”
“You do realise that she isn’t going to ever go home with you, don’t you,” she stated matter-of-factly.
I smirked at her. “You don’t know Madison as well as you think, sugar.
”
“My name’s Serena, and I know how broken she was when she left Brisbane. She’s not going back to that anytime soon.”
She scowled at me before starting to clean up her mess. Silence consumed us as we both retreated into our thoughts until a couple of moments later when we were startled by Madison walking into the kitchen. My dick jumped to attention as I took in her sheer t-shirt. It barely covered her ass, and her long legs almost overshadowed her tits. Almost. Because those tits were to fucking die for.
Shit. I concentrated on drinking my coffee. Anything to busy me, and stop me checking her out. However, she made her way to the kettle and when she reached up to grab a mug out of the cupboard, her fucking t-shirt rode up, revealing a perfectly sculpted ass cheek. I let my eyes take that in, and as I looked back up, I saw Serena watching me. Her eyes narrowed and she shot me a filthy look.
Geez, what was up this chick’s ass? “You got a problem with me?” I asked, and settled myself back against the counter, crossing one leg over the other, waiting for her answer.
“Yeah, biker boy, I do. I don’t like you coming here, after what you did to Maddy years ago, and expecting her to just let you start controlling her. And I don’t like your eyes all over her ass. It’s not yours anymore.”
My eyebrows shot up. I kinda dug this chick, and the way she was loyal to Madison. “Doesn’t mean I can’t admire it. And as far as me trying to control Madison? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Madison? Because the one I used to fuck never let me control her.”
