by Levine, Nina
It was Saturday morning, and we had enjoyed a lazy sleep in and fantastic wake-up sex. It was time for J to man-up and come shopping with me.
“I think you can find clothes all by yourself,” he muttered as he got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.
Just before he closed the door, I yelled out, “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll get some really short dresses and tight skirts.”
He didn’t reply but five minutes later when he emerged, he muttered, “Get up, babe. We’ve got shopping to do.”
I smiled to myself. He was so easy to manipulate sometimes.
We got ready and were out the door an hour later, J grumbling that it had taken me so long to get ready. “I’m not sure why it takes you so long, babe.”
I pointed at my face and my hair. “Do you think women just wake up looking this good?” I asked him.
“You looked good to me an hour ago, before you put all that shit on your face,” he said, opening the car door for me and helping me in.
I smiled at him as he shut the door, and waited for him to come around the car and get in before saying, “Sometimes you say the sweetest things.”
“So, how long does shopping take? Tell me it’s quick,” he almost begged.
I laughed. “You’ll be home for dinner,” I promised, with a teasing wink.
He rolled his eyes and muttered, “Fuck.”
Three hours later, I had purchased an entire new wardrobe, and J had reached the end of his patience. I was surprised and impressed he had lasted that long. The morning had started out fun with him enjoying some private little shows as I tried on numerous outfits. This had almost ended in us screwing in one of the dressing rooms, but the sales assistant had put a stop to that and asked us to leave. J hadn’t been impressed with her and had told her exactly what he thought of her, and her uptight pussy. She had threatened to call the police so I dragged him out of there before the situation got completely out of hand.
We had visited a stack of stores and J was insistent that this was the last one. I’d just tried on a dress I knew I had to have, and J was leaning against the changing room door watching me. Stepping out of the dress, I handed it to him and said, “This one’s a definite.”
He took it and eyed my body, clad only in bra and panties. “Babe, that’s the last one. You’re driving me crazy here. Three hours of watching you get in and out of dresses, and my dick is having a fit.” He stepped closer to me and wrapped his hands around my ass, pulling me into him so that I could feel his erection. Dipping his head, he stole my mouth in a kiss. Hard and passionate, the kiss hit me in my core and I moaned with pleasure. He deepened the kiss, and reached one hand into my panties to touch my clit, slowly circling it. “You want me to fuck you with my finger or my dick?” His voice was low and rough.
“What do you think, baby?” I responded. As if there was any choice between the two.
He chuckled. “Thought so.” Continuing to massage my clit, he backed me up against the wall, while I undid his jeans and pulled his cock free. I stroked it, circling the tip every couple of strokes. He groaned into my mouth, “Christ, babe. Really need in you now. This isn’t gonna take long, not after you’ve been working me up all morning.”
I lifted one leg to wrap around his waist and he pulled the other leg up. His cock sat at my entrance and, unable to wait any longer, I pushed myself against him so that he entered me. I was so wet for him that he slid straight in, filling me, and setting off a wave of pleasure.
J grunted as he pulled back out, and then thrust in hard, his balls slapping me. He set a fast pace and, knowing my tendency to scream, he lent his elbow against the wall to steady himself while he covered my mouth with his hand. It was a blur of bodies slapping together, eyes meeting between thrusts, and intense pleasure shooting through my body. J hadn’t been kidding when he said it wouldn’t last long; not even ten minutes later and he came, with me not far behind.
He leaned against me for a moment, and then pulled out and let me down. “That’s what you get for teasing me for three fucking hours.” He smirked, tucking his cock back into his jeans and fastening his jeans.
“I might bring you shopping more often, baby.” I winked and got dressed.
Grabbing the dress I wanted to buy, J opened the door and we headed out to the sales counter to make our purchase. It was a busy Saturday morning in the shop, and from the looks we were getting, I was pretty sure everyone had heard us screwing. I just grinned at them, not giving a shit what anyone thought. The sales assistant fawned all over J as he paid for my dress. He hadn’t let me pay for anything today, and after arguing with him for the first two hours, I had given up and just let him pay. Honestly, sometimes it was just easier not to argue with the man. And besides, I was grateful that he bought me all those clothes.
J finished up the transaction while I did my best to ignore the flirting that the sales assistant was doing. It really pissed me off though; she could see we were together, that he was buying me a dress and had most likely heard us having sex. So, why the fuck did she think it was okay to openly flirt with him in front of me?
I checked her name badge. Kate. Yeah, that figured. The only Kate’s I knew were sluts, and this one wasn’t any different.
“Fucking bitch,” I grumbled under my breath, and J stopped what he was doing to turn and look at me.
He obviously hadn’t heard what I said because he lent down and whispered in my ear, “What did you say, baby?”
As he pulled away to wait for my answer, I muttered, louder this time, “I said, fucking bitch.”
He grinned at me, realising what I was getting at, and came back towards me, capturing my mouth in a passionate kiss. When he was finished, he said, “God, I love you.”
I grinned back at him. “I love you too.”
J convinced me to go on a bike ride with him that afternoon. I figured it was only fair after he spent all morning shopping with me. Being on the back of his bike was something I enjoyed anyway, and it was a beautiful sunny day so I enjoyed the afternoon with him. We rode for just over an hour, heading out along the coastline. He bought us burgers and chips for lunch, and we sat on the beach and ate. I loved this quiet time with J, away from everyone else. Being back together meant that we had to figure each other out again. We had picked up almost like we had never been apart; we knew each other so well that it had been easy to do. However, as much as we knew each other, we had been apart for years and had both grown and changed a little, so I craved some time with him to discover these things about each other.
We arrived back home around five o’clock. Storm clouds had rolled in and the wind had picked up. Our plans for the night had been to go out for dinner and a movie, but with the change in the weather, we decided to order in and watch a movie at home. J had some calls to return before dinner so I jumped in the shower while he did that.
As I walked into the living room after my shower, I realised we had company. Scott was sitting with J on the couch, their heads together while they talked quietly. They stopped talking when they realised I had entered the room.
“Babe, I need to go out for awhile. There’s been some trouble at Indigo that we need to sort out. Stoney’s outside keeping watch until I get back,” J said.
Indigo was one of the strip clubs that Storm owned, so I could only imagine the kind of trouble they had to go and sort out. I sighed. “Okay,” I agreed, disappointed our evening had been wrecked.
They both stood and Scott headed outside, answering his ringing phone as he went. J came to me, and held my face with both his hands. He looked genuinely sorry, so I cut him some slack. “I’m sorry. I’ll try and hurry things along so I can get back here soon,” he promised, laying a quick kiss on my forehead.
And then he was gone. And I was alone on a Saturday night.
21
Madison
J and I settled into a routine over the next couple of months. Mandy no longer seemed to be a threat so life went on as normal. While still hi
s usual bossy self, J backed off a little and gave me some space, which helped cement our relationship further. He dropped me off at work and picked me up when I was finished each day, while he took care of Storm business. Some days we also managed to get lunch together. Our nights were filled with time rebuilding our relationship. Some nights he got called out for club business, but thankfully, those nights weren’t too often.
It was the weekends that I lived for. J was around for most of them, and along with spending time with our family and friends, we devoted a lot of time to just the two of us. When he said he would do the work to rebuild our relationship he’d been telling the truth, and I was the happiest I had ever been.
I was also trying hard to be a better girlfriend. This was hard sometimes, because J still refused to tell me much about club business. And it still pissed me off. Mostly though, I managed to keep my mouth shut and not argue with him about it. I was still hopeful that over time, he would come around.
Crystal was doing okay. J and I spent a lot of time with her and Brooke, and I was surprised at how well we were all getting along. We regularly helped Brooke out, looking after Crystal so she could have some time to herself. We were all still in shock that Bec was gone, and navigating our way through the grief tied us all together.
It was a Tuesday afternoon that my bubble burst. I was working at O’s, the little boutique dress shop that I loved coming to every day, when a blast from my past waltzed in and blew shit all over my life.
“Mandy.” I sucked in a breath, and fear sliced through me. The crazy look in her eyes scared the shit out of me, and my hand automatically reached for the phone to ring J.
As far as I knew, Mandy had disappeared and the club no longer considered her a threat. How wrong they had been about that.
“Don’t!” she screamed. I dropped my hand. My heart rate picked up and my legs felt shaky. The room began to close in on me as I waited for her next move.
She stalked to where I was, not stopping until she was in my personal space. Her nostrils flared and I watched the veins popping in her neck. She jabbed a finger at my chest, the force making me momentarily lose my balance. “Nix’s death is fucking on you, bitch! The day he met you, his death warrant was signed, and I’m going to fucking make you pay!” She screeched her warning.
Not often in life was i rendered speechless. It was, however, one of those times. My immediate reaction was to fight, but I quickly moved through scenarios of how that could play out, and decided against it. Assessing her, I thought she was probably high, and that was not a good thing to go up against. Thank goodness there were no customers or other staff in the store for her to threaten.
I didn’t have to wait long to see what she would do next. She glared at me, daggers in her look, and then she shoved me backwards, and turned and strode to the door.
Before she closed the door, she shot one last threat at me, “You better watch your back, cunt. You’ve got no fucking idea!” And then she left.
I almost collapsed, my legs weak. My breathing all over the place, I struggled to get that under control while I rummaged under the counter for the front door keys. My agenda only had two things on it: lock the door and call J.
“Babe, I’m kinda busy right now,” he answered with that impatient tone he sometimes used on me. And that just served to piss me off. Being pissed off I could handle. It was an emotion I welcomed any day over terror.
“Yeah, well, babe, I think you might want to stop what you’re doing and listen the fuck up.”
Yeah, fear had definitely left and anger had walked right on in, and settled itself down.
“What the fuck, Madison?” It was J’s turn to get shitty.
“I’ve just had a visit from Mandy,” I threw it out there, and waited for it to wrap itself around his head.
“Fuck!” he bellowed, and I had to hold the phone away from my ear for a moment. “Are you okay?” Even though his voice was still angry, I heard the softness for me in there, melting some of my anger away.
“Yeah, baby, but I need you. Can you come now?”
“I’m already on my way,” he said, and the relief hit me like a gush of wind.
“Thank you,” I breathed out, my anger dispersing with it.
We ended the call and I waited for him. My mind raced with crazy thoughts threaded with fear.
And then it hit me.
Fuck.
I needed a drink.
22
Jason
Fuck!
Scott, Griff and I arrived at Madison’s work within half an hour of receiving her call, and she was nowhere to be found. The shop was locked and she didn’t answer the door, so Scott had broken the lock. She wasn’t there. And she wasn’t answering her goddamn phone.
I raked my fingers through my hair. Where the fuck could she be?
And then Griff voiced what we were all thinking. “Do we think Mandy came back for her?”
“I’ll fucking kill that cunt if she touches Madison!” I roared and turned to leave the empty shop.
“Brother, I’ll kill her even if she doesn’t,” Scott promised me, and I nodded at him in silent agreement.
Scott pulled out his phone and called Marcus to break the bad news to him. They came up with a plan of attack and we began our search for Madison.
Two hours later, we still hadn’t located either of them. Desperation was setting in and Scott was beyond a state of rage. I didn’t think he loved anyone as much as he loved his sister.
We arrived back at the clubhouse to regroup. All the boys were there. Madison meant so much to all of them, and it was a sombre mood that permeated the room.
Marcus took control. “I want every fucking person tied up with that bitch to be grilled. One of them has to know where she is. Scott will coordinate,” he directed, and then left the room. I wasn’t sure where or what he was doing, and even though it was odd that he would leave us to do this on our own, it wasn’t my concern. Finding Madison was my only priority.
I got my directions off Scott and headed out. My first stop was only ten minutes from the clubhouse, and as I pulled up, my phone started ringing.
It was Brooke. “Hey, sis,” I answered, hoping she was okay.
“J, are you with Madison today?” Nervousness laced her voice.
Unease hit me in the gut. “No. She got a visit from Nix’s crazy sister, and now we can’t find her. Why? Have you heard something?”
“I think she might be at Hyde’s.”
“What?” I struggled to make the connection.
Brooke sighed. “J, I think she’s been drinking. One of my friends just called me and suggested I get you down there to stop her.
Unease slid right through me and fury took its place.
“Thanks, I’m on my way now,” I bit out and hung up.
I walked through the doors of Hyde’s pub ten minutes later. A combination of the struggle of watching Madison lose herself to alcohol years ago mixed with the burning anger and resentment I still held towards my alcoholic mother, meant that I lost it.
She sat at a table with some guy and a drink in front of her.
I saw red and stalked to where she sat. “What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled at her.
When she turned her face to look up at me, the conflict I saw in her eyes hit me in the gut. However, my anger and disappointment with her were too far gone to slow me down.
I met the dude’s eyes. “Get the fuck out of here!” I roared. He shrugged and left. Yeah, smart move, motherfucker.
“I’m sorry.” She shifted her gaze away from mine as she uttered the words.
“Have you had any yet?” I demanded, clenching my fists by my side.
She shook her head but refused to meet my eyes. “No,” she whispered and I could hear the agony in her voice. And still I couldn’t dial my disappointment back. Alcoholism was something I struggled to understand and I thought she’d moved past these kinds of setbacks.
I thought she was stronger.
&nb
sp; I picked up the glass of alcohol and carried it to the bar. Depositing it there, I stalked back to Madison.
She finally turned her face to me. “Please don’t be mad, J.” Her eyes begged me in the same way her voice did.
I didn’t want to be mad, but, shit, I couldn’t stop the emotions as they rolled through me. Rubbing the back of my neck, I grit out, “It’s time to go.”
She stared at me for a long few moments and right when I thought she was about to say something, Scott rang. While I took his call and filled him in on where Madison was, she slid off her seat and walked outside without saying a word.
I followed her in silence. It was better that we didn’t speak; with my conflicted thoughts, I wasn’t sure I could be trusted not to say something we couldn’t come back from.
23
Madison
I waited for it.
Whatever he was going to say was nothing compared to what I was screaming at myself. I hated myself. Hated that I had let myself almost drink again.
The energy instantly changed when he entered the house. He seemed to be filled with rage and disappointment. It was the disappointment that pierced my heart the most. To have a loved one disappointed in you, was one of the worst feelings in the world. I wanted to run from him and never look back. Never have to experience the look he was giving me.
We stood there, watching each other for what felt like eternity. I crossed my arms, as if by doing so, I could shield myself from him. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and I noticed the muscles in his neck twitch.
Finally, he spoke. “Why?”
Out of all the things to ask an alcoholic, that was maybe the one thing we never wanted to be asked. For me, anyway. Because, it was the one question that I sometimes couldn’t answer. Or maybe, it was the one question I didn’t want to answer.
