by Alex Marcoux
Jessie had not found Rebecca’s name and then she turned to the last page of the appendix. Her heart started beating wildly as her index finger scrolled the information across the page: “Rebecca Johnson, Residence—Andover, Outcome—Unknown.”
Unknown? What the hell does that mean? She quickly went through the list again. Although there were some “No Record” outcomes, she could not find another outcome stating “Unknown.” Maybe I’m not meant to find out what happened, she wondered.
“Maybe, you’re not ready to find out what really happened,” the little voice inside her head said.
Since when have I been hearing voices in my head? she asked herself.
“Since back to Salem,” the voice answered.
Later that evening when Jessie arrived home, she retrieved a message from her answering machine. It was from her editor. “Hi, Jessie, it’s Catherine. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Wanted to see how close you are on your new project. What’s the title? Oh, yes—Deceptions. Give me a call when you can.”
After dinner, Jessie went to her office to check her e-mail. She realized that she had been out of touch with reality for too long when she saw the long list of messages. One of which was a note from Travis Sanders.
Jessie,
I don’t know what it is. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Is the manuscript ready?
Travis
As Jessie read the message on the screen, she heard a thud. She looked on the floor and saw the pile of unopened mail that had been on her desk. She sat there staring at the unopened envelopes, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation how the mail fell to the floor. But there was none.
Jessie looked around her office. It hit her that she had abandoned her own life to explore a past life. She knew it was time to get on with life. I have some answers, she thought. Jessie picked up a magazine article on Taylor Andrews and looked into her crystal blue eyes. She didn’t know why all this was happening but she couldn’t get lost in the past. While she wanted to run to her she knew it wasn’t the answer, after all how could Taylor understand? I need to let you go. A tear rolled off her cheek soiling the magazine. I love you, Rebecca. I need to say goodbye. She wiped tears from her face and closed the magazine.
Jessie stood, contemplating what to do next then swiftly collected signs that Taylor Andrews ever existed. Articles, notes, CDs and drawings were tossed in a box. She labeled the carton “T.A.” and while she considered tossing it in the trash, she opted to store it in the basement crawl space where other boxes she’d probably never see again remained.
When she returned to her office, she set the manuscript of Deceptions on her desk before her. Somehow, she knew this new book was her destiny. Yet as she took the pen to the page and began editing it, her thoughts betrayed her. She glanced at the computer screen. There is one last thing I need to do, before I finish this, Jessie thought. Her fingers settled on the keyboard and she searched the internet for “last minute flights.” She needed to go back to Salem.
Chapter 10
TWO YEARS LATER.
Jessie was reading the Los Angeles Times. Deceptions had been in the number-one position for a month. She was thrilled; the book reviews were outstanding.
After Jessie had finished the manuscript for the novel, Travis Sanders had hired her to write the screenplay. The screenplay was now finished, and Travis was in the process of selecting the actors and actresses for the movie. As with Beyond Paradise, Jessie’s contract had a consult clause for the movie, assuring that Travis would consider her ideas. Although Travis was not obligated to follow any of her suggestions, he made a sincere effort to keep her in the loop, if not because of the contract, because of the friendship and mutual respect that had developed between the two.
For close to two years, Jessie had successfully dismissed the connections to Taylor Andrews. Once she recognized she had become obsessed, and realized she had stopped living her own life she was able to detach herself. Occasionally, she experienced other connections to Taylor. Rather than dwelling on them, she’d turn inward and remember how she had loved her and hoped her new life was treating her well. She’d smile and move on with life.
Jessie was in her home office working when her phone rang. She recognized the number on the phone.
“Hi Travis, how are you?”
“Casting and timeline meeting. Tomorrow at three.”
Jessie had grown accustomed to Travis’s abrupt manner. “Sure. I’ll be there.”
The following day Jessie left her house early and met up with an old friend. Jessie had known Linda Speller for years and the two met every couple of months for lunch.
“How’s the new firm?” Jessie asked as she forked her spinach salad.
“Wonderful,” Linda answered. “I think this is going to be a good opportunity for me. I should make partner in two years.”
“Great. Are you still specializing in corporate law?”
“Yes. It’s one area the firm was weak in.” Linda sipped her lemonade. “What’s new in your life?”
“I’m still working on Deceptions—the movie. It’s taking most of my time right now. What about you? Seeing anyone special?”
“Between the new job and the renovation at the cabin, I haven’t had time to date.”
“What are you doing at the cabin?”
“I’m upgrading the kitchen. You should use the cabin sometime. It’s a great getaway. Big Pines is not too far for a long weekend. Why don’t you use it after the renovation?”
“Maybe after Deceptions is made. Then I’ll have more time.”
Linda had a meeting after lunch so their visit ended earlier than Jessie expected, so she headed to her casting meeting early. It was about 2:15 when she arrived at TSS Productions. She found Alison, Travis’s secretary, cussing at her laptop.
“Have you ever tried to sweet talk it?” Jessie asked.
Alison looked up and smiled. Her green eyes seemed to light up at the sight of Jessie. “It doesn’t deserve my affection. You’re early; Travis is still in a meeting.”
“I was downtown for lunch. It didn’t make a lot of sense to drive home, just to turn around and come back. What’s the problem with the computer?”
“I can’t get it to go,” Alison said.
“What happens when you turn it on?”
“This is what happens.” Alison pointed to a black screen.
“That doesn’t look good,” Jessie said. She walked behind Alison’s desk. “I’ve had a Toshiba laptop, also. Do you mind if I try?”
“Knock yourself out.” Alison stood up and offered Jessie her seat.
Jessie sat and pressed the start button on the computer. Nothing happened. She could feel Alison’s body brush against her shoulder as she studied the computer. Jessie smiled. She had enjoyed their flirting over the last year.
Jessie eyed a pen on Alison’s desk. She picked it up and inserted its point in a small hidden hole on the side of the computer. Seconds later the computer came to life.
“How did you do that?” Alison asked.
“I told you. Sweet talk. It’s amazing the results.” Jessie chuckled.
“Cute. But really, how did you do that?”
“When all else fails, try the reset button. Its right here,” she pointed. Jessie watched the computer screen as it went into self-analysis. She heard Travis’s door open behind her, then voices from within the office.
“Excuse me, can we have some water please?” a man asked. He coughed to clear his throat.
Jessie concentrated on Alison’s computer, while Alison went to the water dispenser and filled up a pitcher. She handed the water to the man in the doorway of Travis’s office.
“How about some glasses?” he asked.
To Jessie there was something familiar about the man’s voice, but she couldn’t place it.
Alison handed him three glasses.
“Thank you,” he said.
The familiarity prompted Jessie to turn and look at him. Her
movement must have caught his attention, because he also peeked at Jessie. There was a hesitation, enabling each to process what they were seeing.
He took a step forward. “Jessie?”
Jessie stood. “Mark?”
Both Jessie and Mark smiled. He went to Jessie, the desk separating them, until Jessie came out from behind it. He set the pitcher and glasses on the desk and they embraced. Alison watched the longtime reunion. Finally, they parted, but were unable to take their eyes off of each other.
“God, it’s good to see you. You look great,” he said.
“You do too, Mark.”
“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” Travis yelled from within his office.
“What are you doing here?” Jessie asked.
Mark pulled at Jessie’s hand, smiling with a boyish grin that Jessie remembered from their college days. “Come in and visit with us for a few minutes.”
Jessie had almost forgotten about Alison and her computer problem. “One minute, Mark.” Jessie turned back toward Alison and her computer. The computer had booted up successfully. “Alison, just hit the reset button if it happens again.”
As Jessie pointed to the small opening, she felt a warming sensation in her chest. She hadn’t felt this heart opening in nearly two years and briefly wondered why it was happening now. Voices from Sanders’ office were getting closer and disrupting her concentration.
She glanced at Alison.
Alison smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jessie turned back toward the doorway, unprepared for the encounter. A woman stood at the doorway leaning against the doorframe near Travis and Mark. Her eyes followed Jessie’s every move. The warmth in Jessie’s chest amplified and dispersed throughout her body, especially to her head. Somewhat light-headed, Jessie froze. She closed her eyes to steady herself and when they opened, she confirmed that Taylor Andrews was looking at her.
It was Mark who noticed the subtle hesitation and took Jessie’s arm. “Are you okay?”
Jessie consciously broke her connection with Taylor and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine.”
Mark took her hand again and directed her toward the doorway.
“Jessie, this is Taylor Andrews. Taylor this is Jessica Mercer.” Jessie offered Taylor her hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Taylor said with a slight husky voice. Her crystal blue eyes seemed to peer into Jessie’s soul. “I’ve been a fan of yours for years. I think I’ve read all of your books.”
Jessie smiled at the compliment. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Taylor. Likewise, I think I have all of your music.”
“So, how do you two know each other?” Travis asked.
“It’s a long story,” Mark said. “A good one for over dinner. Jessie, join us Friday for dinner.”
As Mark spoke, Jessie was very aware that Taylor was staring at her.
“What a wonderful idea,” Taylor said. “Kurk Warner and I are hosting a small dinner party Friday night, 7:30, at Monique’s. It’ll be just yourself, Mark and Travis.”
“I’m sorry, I have another commitment,” Jessie lied.
“What commitment? Do you have to do your hair?” that pestering little voice asked.
“One I’m sure can be changed. Right, Jessie?” Travis pressured.
Jessie was surprised by Travis’s persistence. “I’m not sure, Travis.”
Mark poured himself a glass of water at Alison’s desk then drank some. “I hope you can change it, Jessie. It’d be wonderful catching up,” he said as he glanced at his watch. “Please excuse us, but we need to run. We have another meeting across town.” He set his glass on the desk then turned to Travis and shook his hand. “We’ll see you Friday.” Then he went to Jessie and embraced her. “Let’s plan on getting together sometime.”
“Sure,” Jessie said.
Taylor said her farewells to Travis and then approached Jessie and offered her hand. Jessie shook it but was surprised when Taylor did not release her grip. A smile came to Taylor’s lips, enhancing her flawless face. “It was very nice meeting you, Jessie. I hope you can join us on Friday.” The women remained facing each other. Taylor, still holding Jessie’s hand, searched her eyes.
“No promises, but I’ll try.” Jessie returned her stare; her heart aching from missing Rebecca so much.
Taylor must have seen something. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, but have we met before?”
Jessie smiled, then nodded.
“I thought so. When?” Taylor asked.
“When you’ve figured it out…let me know.”
Taylor smiled. “A mystery. I like that.” At last, Taylor released her grip and left with Mark.
Travis had eyed the exchange between the women. “What was that all about?” He asked.
“What was what all about?”
“You know—what just happened between the two of you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jessie lied.
Alison disappeared down the hall to set up the conference room for the next meeting. Travis turned and went back into his office. “So, what’s so important this Friday?” he asked.
“Why would I join you for dinner? What’s this got to do with me?”
“For one thing—you’re invited.”
Jessie sensed there was something else. “Is there another reason?”
“Taylor is auditioning for the role of Dillon on Monday. You’ve been to all the other auditions, you should attend this one.”
“But I thought we were casting Rachel Wiley for that role. She’s got more experience. Why the sudden interest in Taylor Andrews?”
“Rachel may have a conflict. Taylor hasn’t read for the role, yet. I think it would be a mistake if we didn’t give her a shot at it.”
“I thought our meeting this afternoon was to approve the final cast.”
“It is, Jessie. We’ll select all the roles and pencil in Rachel for Dillon, depending on Taylor’s audition. Why don’t you try to make it this Friday? It could be a good career move. Kurk Warner has a lot of connections. He could be a good contact for you.”
The following day Jessie wasted no time and called Carrie. She hadn’t spoken to her in nearly two years, so Carrie was surprised by the call. “Jessie, how are you? I have thought of you, often.”
“I need to see you Carrie, do you have any time today?”
Carrie made the time to see Jessie that afternoon. “I’ve watched the success of your new book, Deceptions. Congratulations,” She said, motioning to a chair.
“Thank you, Carrie.”
“Now, what is stressing you out?”
“Do you remember the regression I had two years ago?”
Carrie nodded. “How could I forget? One of my most memorable.”
“After that regression, I had a wake-up call. I realized how badly I was starting to screw up my life, just to understand what happened in my past. I made a commitment after that regression to rid myself of whatever obsession I had.”
“Was it obsession or curiosity?”
“Whatever it was—it interfered with my life. So, I did my best…and I got on with my life. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me. You see…I was able to finish up Deceptions, and then the screenplay for the movie. Both of which I consider my most significant accomplishments.”
“They are exceptional accomplishments,” Carrie agreed. “Congratulations.”
“I’m not here for strokes.”
“Then why are you here?”
Jessie hesitated.
“I told you once before—what transpires in any of my sessions is confidential. It won’t leave here, I promise.”
“Taylor Andrews has come into my life. I don’t want to become obsessed and screw things up again.”
“Well Jessie, I think you’d be very foolish to think you can stop destiny.”
“Destiny?”
“Oh yes, destiny. Isn’t she the woman from your past life who recognized y
ou from this life?”
Jessie nodded.
“If that doesn’t tell you the two of you are meant to know each other, in some capacity, I don’t know what does.”
“I think it’d be too hard,” Jessie admitted.
“What do you mean?”
“Whatever type of relationship the two of us can have would be insignificant to what we had.”
“Being man and wife, you mean?”
“Being a significant other. Taylor has got to be one of the most straight people I know.”
“So, maybe you’re meant to be friends. Whatever you’re supposed to be to her—learn.”
“I feel like crap. I’m learning how my ex-boyfriend felt when we broke up.”
“What do you mean?”
“When we broke up, I wanted to continue with a friendship. But he couldn’t, he said; it was too difficult being close to me and not being able to love me. That’s part of what I’m feeling with Taylor.”
“That’s good—you’re learning already. Jessie, I know this must be a little scary. You’ve got to go with it. You can’t stop it from happening. This is obviously a karmic situation; you need to be prepared to release any disappointments and learn.”
“Disappointments?”
“Yes, disappointments. If you cannot release them, they’ll follow you into your next life.”
When Jessie returned home later that afternoon, she listened to voicemail. “Hi Jessie, this is Taylor Andrews. I hope you don’t mind that I called you. I got your phone number from Travis. He’s so easy. Anyway, there’s been a time change for Friday night. Eight o’clock at Monique’s. I’m sure I’ll see you there. Have a lovely day.”
Jessie replayed the message and smiled. “God, Rebecca. How can I do this? How can I be your—whatever I’m supposed to be when…I still love you so.” In that moment Jessie realized why people don’t remember past lives. It’s too difficult to remember. This is a curse, she decided.
She went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Monique’s. That’s a pretty upscale place. “So, I need to learn from this,” she talked to herself in the mirror. “She’s not Rebecca, she’s Taylor Andrews. She’s probably a bitch,” Jessie tried to convince herself.
