“Honesty?”
“Always.” Everything about making this chance between us work hinges on honesty.
“It sounds just about perfect.”
After Meadow ooh’ed and aah’ed over the suite I have at the lodge, I grabbed enough clothes and my tools so I wouldn’t need to come back for a few days. After stopping to let the desk clerk know I’d be away for a few days, we set off for the west entrance to Glacier National Park.
We make great time even with Meadow punching me in the arm repeatedly to stop at the Huckleberry Patch. “Just to do a little shopping. Come on, Kody. They have pie,” she tries to wheedle.
“Flower, let’s go to the park first. I’m sure the store will be open.” Because God help me if they’re not.
“You realize you will be driving back out here if they’re not.”
“So noted.” We’re at a stoplight, so I lean over and press my lips to her pouting ones. Then I wonder aloud, “How did you know they have pie?”
Meadow freezes. Her voice breaks. “Not now. I’ll answer that question when we get inside the park, okay?”
She’s fiddling with her phone, so I can’t take her hand like I normally would. Instead, I lay my hand on her leg as we begin moving. “Okay.” It’s all I can offer her right now.
Her mood has shifted from exuberant to subdued as we pay for a pass and follow the navigation to the Going to the Sun Road. I heard the warning of the park ranger about the limited drivability. “There’s no way we’re getting past Lake McDonald today.”
“That’s all right. There will be other days to make it all the way. Won’t there be?” The anxiety in Meadow’s voice is like a punch in the gut.
I find the first pull-off for a photo opportunity. Turning to her, I assure her, “There will be,” but she’s blind and deaf to what I’m saying.
“Kody, look. Just, look.” Within seconds, she scrambling from the truck. I’m quick to follow.
Grabbing her hand after she comes around the hood, we check for traffic before dashing across the street and carefully make our way down the embankment to the water’s edge. And there she is.
The Continental Divide.
“It’s magnificent.”
“There was a reason I wanted to come here first.”
“Why’s that?” I face her, but she steps back carefully.
“Give me a moment. I need this picture of you. Just like this. Then I’ll answer the question you asked me earlier.”
I still and let Meadow take a few pictures on her phone. Then she fiddles for just a moment with it before telling me, “Did you know Lake McDonald is the largest lake in Glacier National Park? In fact, it was glaciers that carved the valley the water sits in.”
“I didn’t. I’m impressed you do.”
“Oh, I cheated. I looked it up. It’s right here.” She holds up her phone. “I have a whole bunch of facts about the park ready for when…”
I take a step forward. “For what?”
“I thought if I brought the kids here, it might help them make a connection to home. You know? We had Mendenhall there, and maybe if we made it all the way up to the top of the Going to the Sun Road, they’d realize home isn’t that far away. I have this list of things to do with them when they got here, but that’s never going to happen now, is it? I don’t know what to do yet about the pain that’s causing me, and yet, there’s you.” Meadow clenches her jaw before giving me a ghost of a smile. “So, you see, I needed to take a picture of you to keep myself from pitching this phone into the lake.” And that’s when I’m witness to a strong woman breaking.
Tugging her into my arms, I hold on as she weeps. It’s the storm I’ve been expecting since I arrived, but not for the reasons I anticipated. It wasn’t the harsh realities of a new job. It isn’t the anger over a marriage ending. It’s the heartbreak over children she filled with her love turning their back on everything she sacrificed.
And now that I’m holding on to the one woman I always wanted, I want to fix this for her. But can I set aside my anger and pride to reach out to the men who can help me do it?
She sniffles and pulls back. “I apologize. Sometimes I need to cry to be able to figure out where to start over again.”
“I never gave much thought to having children,” I find myself saying.
Her lips part, but no words come out.
“Jed used to think I needed a houseful. He said whether they were my own blood or not, didn’t matter. They’d still be mine. I thought after having six sisters to look after, I was done with having that responsibility.”
“I understand—”
“I’ve always liked kids.” I talk over her as if Meadow hasn’t said a word. “Loved them in fact—maybe with the exception of Sandra in her teens because she’s Satan who has my parents demonized to do her evil.”
Meadow gives a hiccuping snort. “I feel like I have to meet her.”
I wrap an arm around her and haul her against me. In my life, I never thought watching the way a woman’s pupils dilated would be as arousing as the press of her breasts against me. But everything about Meadow has changed the way I think and feel. “Children weren’t something I thought of before, but now I get why the brother of my heart understood I would have them. Because if they’re anything like their mother, I have little doubt my feelings for them are going to be strong.” Meadow goes to speak, but I gently hush her. “That’s for later, Meadow. Not now.”
The air is thick, despite the crisp cold of the Montana air. I’ve just laid out everything I ever wanted to say to Meadow from the time I was a young man. And all around us is silence. I have no regrets though. I start to pull back when I hear her voice.
“For years, I told myself I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to forget all about me, to find love.”
“How could I?” I’m about to say more when she lays a cold finger across my lips.
“Because I needed to tell myself that, Kody. Otherwise, how was I supposed to stop feeling guilty for being as uncommitted in my heart to my marriage as my ex was? Do you know what the truth is?”
“What?”
“You were right. Ever since that night. So, was there really a difference between my feelings for you and the way Mitch cheated on me?”
“You’re damn right there was.”
“How?” Her voice is so lost and bewildered.
“Because otherwise, you would have let me do this on any of the number of occasions we saw each other over the years.”
I jerk Meadow so hard, her phone drops from her hands. Then I’m kissing her so long beneath the cold Montana sky, I lose track of time. It isn’t until we hear another voice say, “Oh, my! Harold!” that we break apart and begin to laugh.
Scooping up her cell, I hand it to her. “I don’t ever want to hear you compare yourself to him again, Meadow. You were faithful to the vows you took.”
She touches her lips. “Okay.”
“Come on, it’s time to get you some pie.”
Once we climb the embankment, Meadow declares, “Maybe we should get it to go.”
God, I love the way she thinks. Then again, I just plain love her.
Kody
Meadow’s breathing is even, but I can’t manage to sleep. Even after I made love to her and she pulled on a ridiculous shirt with a bear proclaiming “I’ll be your huckleberry” we picked up at the Huckleberry Patch—as well as the most delicious pie I’ve ever laid waste to—I can’t get my mind to relax.
Maybe it’s the fact I’m lying here fighting loneliness.
Even though I’ve started to let my mom in on what I’m feeling about Meadow, I should be able to let Jennings, Nick, and Brad know how I’m feeling. That’s the way it was as Brad took his ribbing about Rainey. Jennings lived falling in love with Kara out in technicolor. And Jed? Jesus, tears drip down my face when I remember sitting on the back porch at Nature’s Song while we discussed his falling in love with his future husband, Dean.
If we were on the s
ame page, I’d have sent them one of the goofy pictures I took of her using strands of huckleberry licorice as a microphone as she sang along with the ’90s channel on satellite radio as I made rude comments to Britney and the Spice Girls, but I couldn’t help lending my voice to Bryan Adams’s ballad from Robin Hood which—as I lie here reflecting on the lyrics—perfectly echoes everything I want to give to the woman in my arms.
Maybe that’s what I need to do. I need to talk with one of my brothers.
Sliding away from Meadow, I wrap her arms around my pillow. Scooping up my clothes as quietly as possible, I carry them out of the room. Quickly I slip on my jeans and button up my shirt. I’m tying the laces of my boots when I hear her soft, hesitant voice. “Going somewhere?”
I look up and there she is, the woman I’d give up anything for, even friendships that were supposed to last a lifetime. Her hair is smashed to the side of her head. She’s still holding the pillow I slid into her arms a few moments ago. Walking straight to her, I bend down and kiss her lightly. “I need to talk to Jed.” It sounds slightly crazier when I say it out loud.
Moonlight casts a soft glow over her skin as she drops the pillow to the floor in order for her hands to frame my face. “I’ll be here waiting.”
I kiss her fiercely, because that’s how I love her. “I’ll be back soon.” Then I turn and grab my coat off the back of the couch.
Soon, I’m heading up the main road to Nature’s Song. I use my codes to unlock the front door before flipping on a minimum of lights and head right out toward the back deck. Easing open the slider, I see the outline of where the furniture used to be. I walk around to where I was sprawled in the love seat that day and say exactly what I said to him that afternoon. “How did you know?”
“Probably the same way I know a lot of things, Kody. I watch people.”
My head turned and looked back over my shoulder into the house where Brad and Nick were arguing over who had caught the biggest fish. “You don’t think he knows, do you?” The last thing in the world I needed was for Brad to realize that I’m in love with his sister-in-law.
Still.
Always.
Jed barked out a laugh. “There are some things you all have to figure out on your own, as much as I want to dunk your heads under some ice-cold glacier water to get you all to see what the hell’s right in front of you. Nothing about love is perfect in this world, Kody. Sometimes, we have to wait a lifetime to find out why we suffer through it.”
“She’s the love I waited a lifetime for, Jed.” Tears dry on my face as fast as they’re coming. “I knew Brad wouldn’t understand. Remember, I even worried about it. But if I have to choose between brotherhood and love, I choose love. I know you understand that.
“You were right about so many things, buddy. I can see it all with her—the house, the kids. The whole shebang. And for Christ’s sake—what the hell are you going to do to take down Tiny Douchebag?” A reluctant smile crosses my lips. “Rainey’s nickname for Mitch is pure genius, though I’m royally pissed at her too. Well, I suppose you can see what’s going on. I’m barely holding on when all I want to do is to protect my woman.”
My email pings, but I ignore it. I’m too busy talking with the one brother who I know is still talking with me. “Just…watch out over Meadow’s kids, buddy? I’ve got her covered.” Then realizing what I’ve said, I groan aloud. “I mean protect her, you pervert. I’d do anything for her.” Then a stupid smile crosses my face. “Not that the other isn’t ridiculous, but don’t be pulling some kind of poltergeist shit and showing up in the middle of things with those damn flamingo shorts on. Okay?” My throat gets tight when I picture him spitting his drink at me. “I love you, Jedidiah. Always have. Always will. My love to Dean.”
Just as I’m about to leave the porch, my phone reminds me I have an email. I frown when I look at the time. It’s after 1:00 a.m. I close the slider as I fish my phone out of my jacket pocket. Then I fumble it when the sender and subject come across my screen.
Sender: Kara Malone
Subject: FAMILY. URGENT. PLEASE OPEN!!!
“Oh, God. What happened? Jennings? Kevin?” Quickly unlocking my phone, I open Kara’s email.
Kody,
I hope you’re reading this. We’re all getting desperate.
First, let me state, Brad and Rainey are NOT trying to take Meadow’s children away from her. The kids were about half a heartbeat away from having a breakdown. To keep them from doing something desperate after their father met them at the school bus the day Elise called Meadow, they permitted the call. They had no idea what Elise was going to say to her mother. And from what I’m being told, MJ is just going along with whatever his big sister is doing because Elise is the only touchpoint in his world throughout this godforsaken mess.
Second, Brad’s an idiot. No, he’s a foolish moron for demanding information that’s not his right to have. Even Rainey’s pissed at him for that. You’re just an idiot. How you could possibly think that the Jacks would give up on your friendship after Brad had an epic case of open-mouth-and-insert-foot? You must be in love. That’s the only way I can excuse such a smart man being so incredibly stupid. Jennings is losing his mind worrying he’s lost another brother. And damnit, Kody, how dare you? After losing Jed? How could you put them through all of this? Brad, well, like I said, he’s a moron. But Jennings? Nick? Didn’t you all make some sort of sacred vow while sacrificing the guts of a sheep? Oh, sorry, no wait. That would be before you all came into the funeral of two men I loved more than anything other than my son and mean-mugged me over their ashes. My bad.
Even though years separated us, I remember Jed urging me time and time again not to give up on Jennings, that he wasn’t the same man I knew back in the day. Well, we need you both to not give up on all of us. It’s your turn to show Jed you’re still a part of this family.
By the way, we’re all still pissed at Brad. And Nick’s mad at all of us. We won’t talk about Maris. That’s too much for one email.
Please respond when you get this.
Love,
Kara
I look out the window and can practically see Jed shrugging his shoulders as if he’s saying, “What can you do?”
I hit Reply and type out a quick message because all I want to do is get back to Meadow.
Kara,
Could I reply to this rather lengthy email tomorrow?
And for the record, I’ll always love you guys. I just won’t let Meadow be hurt anymore.
Kody
Her reply comes in less than one minute later.
YES!!!!!!
I don’t reply. All I do is shove my phone into my pocket and get into my truck. When I get back to Meadow’s, I shuck my clothes and crawl beneath the covers. She immediately turns into my arms.
Half-asleep, she asks, “How’s Jed?”
Truthfully, I respond, “A pain in my ass.”
Her lips curve up even as she gets comfortable. I pull her tighter. I hear her murmur, “Then everything’s just fine with him.”
My heart clenches when I realize she’s absolutely right. With that, I close my eyes and I’m finally able to sleep because maybe things are moving along with a little help from up above.
Kody
Today I feel like celebrating. We’re about 50 percent complete with the major renovation. Lenny is applying the final stain to the built-ins in the living room. All of the doors and windows are repaired. The new wine cellar racks have been installed. And the kitchen cabinets were delivered. They’re even better than I imagined, and I’m eager to get them installed. The distressed two-toned cabinets fit in with the rustic appearance of the cabin without screaming pretentious. With the solid surface counters, this kitchen will hold up with minimal maintenance for the Wilde family and any renters. And damn if I’m not debating replacing all of my appliances with the ones we ordered.
But every time I try to get Meadow’s attention, she’s on the porch with her cell up to her ear. While my c
rew’s been working for over two and a half hours, she hasn’t taken the damn thing away from her ear. I wonder what’s going to give out first, her hand from a cramp or the damn battery.
As this is the last major project the majority of them will be involved with before hightailing it back to Portland, she needs to get her ass inside and show her appreciation. In just weeks, my crew brought Nature’s Song back from the brink of disaster to being almost complete.
I stomp off in the direction of the porch to find out what the issue is.
“No, Mitchell. This isn’t a damn joke, nor is it a play for more money. If I’m willing to speak to a counselor to help our children, why won’t…ah. Your job. The job you lied about needing to be at so you and your girlfriend could spend some quality time together?” There’s a pause. “Frankly, Mitch, I don’t care for my sake; I care for Elise and MJ. It’s one thing to lie to your wife—excuse me, ex-wife. But to persistently lie to your children? Who’s next? Your boss? Are you going to falsify evidence to put away someone because…hello? Hello? Goddamnit!” Meadow’s face is flushed with fury.
“I take it you were on the phone with Santa Claus making out your wish list?” I try to lighten her mood.
“What is it, Kody? Is it urgent?” Just as I open my mouth to answer, Meadow bites off, “You can’t fix this. It’s not the house where you have the right to butt in and take over. This is my family.”
And hurt overrides common sense in that moment when I reply quietly, “You don’t get to say things like that to me.”
Remorse immediately eliminates her anger, but the plug has been pulled and I can’t rein myself in. I point at Meadow’s phone. “I’m not him. What have I done to you to deserve to be treated like that except love you longer than you ever imagined?”
“Kody,” she begins, but I need her to listen to what I’m saying because as much as she’s lost her family, I lost a portion of mine. Because I know the best days are the ones we’ll build together. We’ll work out the problems at each other’s side but not by spitting and spewing at each other to do it.
Return by Land (Glacier Adventure Series Book 2) Page 19
