“Come here.” I gestured for her to join me on her bed.
“Why?” Her voice dripped with suspicion.
“Just do it.”
“Okay.” She sat down beside me.
I put my hands on her shoulders and started to give her a back rub. She sighed and leaned into me. “You’re too stressed.”
“That feels so good.” She closed her eyes. “Perfect.”
There were so many other things I wanted to do to her that would make her feel even better. But for now, I’d settle for the back rub. Her tank top left her shoulders bare, and I savored the sensation of my hands against her incredibly soft skin. How was her skin even that soft? It seemed impossible.
“Ryan?” She spoke my name so quietly.
“Yeah?”
“Did you know I had a crush on you?”
“What?” I tried to keep my cool. I’d known she felt something for me, but hearing her say so made it more real. “When?”
“For a while before we came here.”
“Before we came here?” I continued to rub her back, hoping it meant she would continue opening up to me. “We’ve only been here a month now.”
“Yeah. And it was more than a month.” She moaned softly. The back rub was really working. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“Thanks for telling me.” I’d been waiting for some sign that she wanted more than the strange friendship-partnership we had. Normally, I would have pressed for what I wanted without waiting for her to make the first move, but I couldn’t risk screwing things up. Not this time. Not with Nadia.
“So you aren’t going to tell me that you had a crush on me too?”
“No.” I turned her so we were looking at each other. “This is when I say I have more than a crush on you now.” I leaned in and kissed her. I intended to keep it light, but when she arched into me, I knew that was impossible. I bit down on her lip, and she gasped, encouraging me to deepen the kiss and move into her mouth. Her hands moved into my hair, and I wrapped mine around her neck.
And then her door opened.
Nadia pulled away from me right as Jackie walked in.
Jackie grinned. “Uh, hey, you two. Am I interrupting something?”
“No. Nothing at all.” Nadia jumped off the bed and looked at her phone. “I have to take this call. Be back.” She darted from the room and closed the door.
I wanted to follow her and make sure she was cool with what had happened, but I was still in a stunned silence. That kiss had been more than a little bit incredible. And who knew where it would have gone if Jackie hadn’t picked that moment to return to her room.
“Uh. I know I interrupted something.” Jackie laughed. “You finally made your move?”
“Yeah. I guess I did.”
“You guess you did?” She took a seat on her desk chair. “Either you made your move, or Nadia is even weirder than normal.”
“Nadia is not weird,” I immediately defended her.
“You are so gone over her.” Jackie pulled a pack of gum from her desk, pulled out a piece, and popped it in her mouth.
“No kidding.” There were two great things about Dameon’s plan. One was that I had a perfectly good excuse to hang out with Nadia. The other was that playing along with things meant I could be honest about how I felt. The first was the more exciting part, but the second made everything easier.
“But she’s gone over you too…”
“She had a crush on me, you know?” I figured Jackie had to already know this. “Before we came here.”
“Oh, I know.” She leaned back in her chair.
“She told you?” I looked at the spot that Nadia had just vacated. Our first kiss had been on her bed. Hopefully she was happy about that as the first place. I’d make sure it wasn’t the only one.
“Not exactly. But it was easy enough to figure out.” She smiled.
I knew she was hiding something, but it didn’t matter. “If you say so.”
“She’s had a crush on you for years. We’re best friends. It’s my job to know these things.”
“And is it your job to tell me these things?” I was flattered and happy to know this info, but I also knew Nadia trusted Jackie. Or well, she used to.
“No. It’s not. I suck as a friend right now. But I really want you guys to get together.” She slouched down in her chair and stretched her legs out.
“Trust me, I want that to, but I should probably go.” I stood up.
“Wait. Before you do, I need to talk to you.”
“Yes?”
She looked down at the floor and then back up at me. “I have an opportunity you might be interested in.”
“An opportunity?” This was it. She was going for it.
“Yes. A group. A chance to join an organization I think would be a perfect fit for you.”
“What kind of group?” I needed to keep my cool. I’d been waiting for this invite to come. It was our best chance for finding out what was really going on.
“It’s a group of talented wolves dedicated to working together to help our kind.” She sounded like she was reading from some brochure.
“A group of talented wolves? Right.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I think you’d really like it.”
“I’m not sure I have time for it.” I rubbed the back of my neck. Nadia claimed I did it when I was thinking deeply. I figured it would help to show Jackie I was thinking about it.
“Ryan, really. It won’t take up too much of your time.”
“What about Nadia? Could she join too?”
“I know you like her, but sometimes couples need to do different things.”
“Oh, yeah?” I started for the door. “What about you? Do you do different things from your boyfriend?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” She stood up.
I gave her a long look.
“She told you!” Jackie yelled.
“You never talked about Nadia to your boyfriend?”
“Last time I checked, Nadia wasn’t your girlfriend.”
“Not yet.” I smiled. “But she will be. I will make sure of it.”
“Wow. There’s that confidence back. I guess that was some kiss. It was a kiss, right?”
“It was the kiss. Not just a kiss.” I put my hand on the doorknob. “And if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up with her.”
“Wait. First promise you’ll come. To the meeting.”
“When is it again?” I feigned forgetfulness even though I was aware of the details.
“Three weeks. Friday night. Meet me at the edge of the woods, and I’ll get you the rest of the way.”
“What about Nadia?” I pushed again.
“Come yourself the first time. After that, we can bring her if you think she’d be a good fit. You seem to know her better than I do.”
“Not better. Just differently.” It was better. Much better, but I’d keep that to myself. We’d been playing along with things for over a month now. No reason to change it now.
“So you’ll be there?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.” I opened the door. “But I need to go.”
“Fine. Go. But don’t stand me up.”
“It’s not a date. I can’t stand you up.” I hesitated in the doorway, even though the only thing I wanted to do was find Nadia.
“You can always stand people up whether it’s a date or not.”
“Whatever you say.” I headed out of the room to search for Nadia.
I’d hoped it would be easy to find her, but she wasn’t in the lounge. I was pretty sure I knew where she’d gone.
I found her sitting under a tree in the woods. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She raked her teeth over her bottom lip. “So that happened.”
“It did happen. I’m glad it happened.”
“With everything else going on, can we really afford a distraction? I don’t know about you, but I’m drowning in work. I didn’t come to Lunar Academy to fail out.”
“Bec
ause you really think that distraction will be worse than the tension that has been simmering?”
“We were doing fine with all the tension.”
“Oh, yeah? It wasn’t distracting at all?” I wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily.
“Well, this will be more distracting.”
“Why? It will just mean it’s easier to get our stress out.” I took a seat next to her.
“Get our stress out? I never said I was having sex with you.”
“Did I say you were?” Of course I was thinking about sex. I’d been thinking about having sex with Nadia since move-in day. But that didn’t have to happen yet. Just eventually.
“No, but I assumed that’s what that stress comment meant.”
“You know what they say about assumptions.”
“I do know, so you don’t have to remind me.” I scooted closer to her. “Nadia. I can’t help the way I feel about you.”
“And I can’t help how I feel about you either.” She touched her neck.
I took her hand in mine. “Then let’s stop holding ourselves back. It’s only going to hurt us.”
She didn’t pull her hand away. “It can’t hurt us.”
“Sure it can.” I traced circles on the top of her hand. “This is hurting me now. I need you, Nadia.”
“I thought you said it isn’t about sex.”
“It doesn't have to be.” I’d take whatever I could get.
“Then what do you need?”
“This.” I kissed her again. This time I didn’t pretend to make it soft and light. My kiss was hard and unyielding. She bit down on my lip, and I about lost it.
I let her take control, and that meant I somehow ended up on my back in the dirt with her on top of me. I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind one bit.
Then she stopped and looked into my eyes. “This is insane. I am insane.”
She started to move off me, but I stopped her, wrapping my arms around her. “You’re not insane. This is not insane. This is normal. Completely normal.”
“Normal? You call this normal? I am lying on top of you under a tree.”
“And the problem with that is what exactly?”
“Ryan.” She said my name with annoyance, but it still managed to sound sexy.
“Yes, Nadia?” I ran a hand up and down her back.
“I shouldn’t be doing this.”
“You mean we shouldn’t be doing this? Because this is kind of a joint activity.”
“But I'm the one on top of you.”
“Is that the problem?” I rolled us over so I was on top of her, but I was careful not to put too much weight on her.
“That wasn’t what I meant.”
“You sure?” I teased. I really liked teasing her.
“Yes.”
“What view do you like better? I can’t decide.”
She laughed. “Really, Ryan? That’s what you are going with?”
“What? I’m just wondering what your take is on positions.”
“You don’t need my take on positions.”
“Why not? I care about your opinion.” I brushed some hair away from her face. She was so beautiful—so fuckin’ beautiful.
“This isn’t happening again.”
“Why not?” I was only half-heartedly asking, as I knew it would happen again. We had the kind of chemistry that couldn’t be ignored.
“Because it shouldn’t.”
“Why not? Why in the world shouldn't it happen? And please don’t say distractions because I’ve already dealt with that excuse.”
“We shouldn’t be together. That’s why.”
“Why shouldn't we be together?” Was she really going through the litany of excuses trying to find one that stuck?
“Because we shouldn’t.”
“Come on, Ms. Research. You know you need some supporting details to back you up.”
“Because I’m scared,” she whispered. “I’m completely and utterly terrified of what’s going to happen.”
“Well, that’s a weak excuse if there ever was one.”
“How is being afraid a weak excuse?”
“Because if we let fear guide us, we’d amount to nothing in life.” It sounded like bullshit, and it probably was bullshit, but then again, it was also bullshit to call off something awesome because you were afraid. Fear wouldn’t get either of us anywhere.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
“I can’t do this. There is too much going on.” She pressed her hands into the ground.
I released my hold on her but she didn’t move.
“I never knew you were one for excuses.”
“I’m not one for excuses. I’m one for reality.”
“Then why don’t we make the reality we want?” I was all for that.
“And what reality is that?” She moistened her lips.
“Any reality you want.”
“I want to kiss you again.” She stared at my lips.
“Then kiss me.” I really hoped she listened. I didn’t want to push her, but damn, I wanted her lips on mine again.
“Fine, but not because you told me to.”
“Of course not.” I smiled. She kissed that smile right off me.
Nadia
Patience wasn’t my virtue. Ryan had only left for the meeting thirty minutes earlier, and I was already losing it. I understood that sometimes you had to sit back and wait. It was required more often than not, but I hated it. I paced the edge of the woods like it was my job, following the same line again and again. It was times like this that my wolf instinct took over. She was begging to be set free, but I’d broken the no-shifting rule enough already this semester. I’d be good and follow the rules. It didn’t mean I wasn’t frustrated with having to stay back and wait. In theory, I understood why Ryan had to go first, but that didn’t mean I liked it. Not one bit.
I’d grown more protective of him as time wore on. We’d been at school a couple of months now, and we were only getting closer.
I went into a lunge, stretching my tired body out. The October night was cool, but not cold. At least I wasn’t sweating. Maybe I should go for a run in my human form. That would help me burn off my nervous energy at least.
“Hey, what are you doing out here?”
I straightened and saw Finn walking over. He wore jeans and a white t-shirt. Like me, he wasn’t a huge fan of staying in his uniform more than he had to. “Lose a contact or something?”
“A contact?” I stopped short. “I don’t wear contacts.” I had perfect vision, like most wolves.
He laughed. “I know that. It was a joke. Usually you can take jokes.” He’d been teasing me all semester, and generally it didn’t bother me.
“Sorry. I’m tense.” That was an understatement. I was ready to bite anyone who messed with me.
“Because of Ryan.” Finn picked up a rock and tossed it into the woods.
“Possibly.” I tried to pull myself together. I would give everything away if I wasn’t careful. I looked up at the dark sky. The stars were dazzling as the moon was nearly nonexistent. Sometimes, I fantasized about what it would be like to get up in the stars, but astronaut training wasn’t in the cards for me. There were far too many things I needed to do down on earth.
Finn laughed. “Possibly? Right. Because you aren’t thinking about Ryan right now.”
“Did he tell you where he was going?” I wasn’t sure what excuse Ryan had used with Finn.
“Just some secret organization thing. Great that he invited me to go along.” Finn laughed but it sounded forced. Understandably, Finn was hurt. It was strange seeing him hurt. He normally laughed everything off.
“He didn’t take me either.” I tried to make it sound like I was offended. I knew Ryan hated keeping Finn out of things, but there were too many people involved already. However, we all knew we’d have to bring him into the fold eventually.
“So, he ditched his best friend and girl for it. It must be good.”
“His girl?” I really liked the sound of that. And well, it was true. Kind of. We’d kissed more than a few times since the woods, and I knew if I wasn’t careful, it would go way beyond kissing. Did that make him my boyfriend? Was it okay to start using that label without talking about it first? Relationships were so complicated. Life was so complicated.
“Yeah, his girl. The guy is hopeless. You know that?” Finn craned his neck and looked up at the sky the way I’d been doing a few minutes earlier. “Putty in your hands. You better use that power wisely.”
“Power? You notice I’m out here with you too.” I leaned back against a tree. If someone looked out the Wolf Born dorm windows, they’d think we were having some clandestine meeting, but I didn’t care. I was so over caring what anyone thought of me anymore.
“True… but if you’d really asked to go, he would have taken you. Unlike me.” Finn didn’t even try to laugh it off this time.
“Well, at least we are out here together.” I felt for Finn. He’d always done everything with Ryan, and now he felt like he was being pushed aside. That couldn't be a good feeling.
“True. Very true.” He came to stand closer to me. “The company helps.”
“So did you finish your paper for Moon Phases?” I tried to make conversation that had nothing to do with Ryan.
“It’s not due until Wednesday.”
“Yeah. It’s Friday.” I pointed out the obvious. It was Friday, the beginning of the weekend. It should have been a fun night. Instead, I was stressed to the gills.
“I’ll do it on Tuesday.” He grinned.
I laughed. “Okay.”
“Yours is done already, isn’t it?” He ran his hand over the rough bark of the tree I leaned against.
“Not fully.” My answer was truthful. There were still a couple of paragraphs that needed revising.
He gasped. “What? Is that possible?”
I smiled. I knew my reputation, and I didn’t mind it. Most of me wished I could continue to live up to it, but there was so much going on. “I know. I’ve been busy.”
“Busy with Ryan?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
I laughed. “That’s part of it.”
“Only part?”
“You know. College. It’s busy.”
“Things seem more normal with Jackie.” He straightened and looked at me. “That’s good, right?”
Wolf Born: Lunar Academy, Year One Page 9
