by Lia Davis
Jillian had the gift to pick up on emotional threads or essences that allowed her to see into the past.
I leaned back in my chair. "Jillian confirmed it wasn’t the vampires. We're currently trying to get information by hacking into the humans’ databases and getting all the information we can, but they have very sophisticated system. Plus, they seemed to have disappeared in the last few days."
"Let me know if I need to step in," he said, closing the conversation.
When he was finished eating, Graham stood. "I'm headed to bed. Early morning tomorrow. Thanks for making dinner." He never failed to thank us, but he also never offered to help.
"Good night," we said in unison.
Once he was upstairs and we heard his bedroom door click shut, I shook my head at Quin. "I really don't envy Jillian. He's one of the most progressive leaders we've ever had, but he's going to lose his damn mind."
Quin sucked in a deep breath. "Yep."
2
Jillian
I turned again, repeating my steps across the living room. My stomach churned and twisted. Meanwhile, my wolf whimpered and hid her head under her paws. Coward.
Quin sat on the couch watching me. "Will you sit down?"
"No," I shot back. "I won’t. What the hell do I do? How do I start?"
"You just come out with it. I can stay with you and help if you’d like," he offered.
Plopping down on the couch beside him, I shook my head. "No, I have to do this on my own, as much as I dread it. I just don’t know how to tell him I’m mated to three different men, one of them being a vampire."
"Just say that."
Ignoring his unhelpful suggestion, I stared at the fireplace. The hearth had been cleaned in preparations for spring. "I don’t know what’s going to be more difficult for him to take, the fact that I’m with three men or the fact that one is a vampire. He might be able to handle the multiple partner aspect if you were all three lycan, or he might be able to handle me mating a vampire, but not the combination of the two."
"Okay, maybe you’re right. Why don’t you start with Kane? See how he reacts, feel him out. If he handles that, in a few weeks we can sit him down together and explain the entire situation to him."
"He keeps saying he wants me to mate for happiness, for love. Will his determination for me to be happy with my future mate extend to a species he’s hated his entire life?" Good gods, I was going to be sick. Some alpha I was.
Quin put his arm around me and hugged me to him. "I don’t know, Jill. I know we’ll eventually get through this, one way or another."
I sighed and rested my head on Quin’s chest, listening to his heart beat. "Kane’s already been booted from his coven. That’s bad enough. What will we do if we’re all kicked out? We’ll be without the protection of our pack or Kane’s coven."
"We won’t be booted out. The worst that might happen is that you’re asked to step down as the heir to the High Alpha."
Millions of butterflies raced in my gut, and I fisted my hand into his shirt. I’d been raised believing I would one day lead the pack. It was my birthright, and ingrained in me. The thought of not being there to help my pack, make sure they were safe, secure, and had the opportunity to lead successful lives made me a little panicked.
"That sucks, too," I muttered. "I can imagine how Kane feels, and it just…"
"Sucks?" Quin asked.
"Yeah," I said with a sigh and buried my face into his cotton tee. "Why does this have to be so complicated? Why do people care so much who someone else loves?" My voice was muffled.
He squeezed me close and kissed my forehead. "I don’t know. The world is changing, though. Maybe when it’s our kids it won’t be such a big deal and they can love freely."
"I hope you’re right. I’m not blind to the direction the younger members of the pack are moving. I’ve always known that once it’s my turn to lead, it would be up to me to start mending fences with the vampires, but by mating with their leader? Well, former leader."
Ugh. I need a drink.
"Jillian," Quin said sternly, pulling away from me. He turned on the couch to face me directly. "Grow a pair. This is your life, your mates, your future. Your dad will either go along with it or he won’t, but either way, one thing I know is that Graham Gray won’t stop loving you."
I sat up straight. He was right. "Shit, I have to do this, don’t I?"
He nodded with a wry smile. "I’m sorry. I really will go with you."
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tight. He squeezed me back, burying his face in my neck. I wriggled toward him, and he pulled, tugging me into his lap.
"I’m here for you, Jillian," he whispered against my skin. "Whatever you need. I’ve loved you for a long time. I’ve just been waiting for you to wake up and realize it, too."
Squeezing him tighter, I fought back tears at his words. "I’m sorry it took me so long. I don’t know why I resisted. Maybe I just didn’t want to grow up."
"Well, you came around to the right conclusion in the end." He chuckled as we pulled away from each other. I studied his face, gaze drifting over the highlights in his light brown hair, and considered the man I’d known my entire life. My wolf stirred, nudging me.
It didn’t take much for me to give in to her urges. I pressed my lips against Quin’s, and my body followed suit. My front pressed to his, I moaned into his mouth, knowing I had to stop before it went too far. It wasn’t the right time or place. I broke the kiss and pressed my forehead against his. "Not now, but soon," I whispered. We hadn’t had any time alone yet, and I was eager. My wolf was beyond eager. She fought me, pushing me to continue our kiss.
I took a deep breath, mentally telling her to sit the hell down and hush. Not now.
Climbing off of Quin’s lap, I stared out the door of the living room, preparing myself. "Okay. Here I go." The thought of the task in front of me shushed her and calmed the raging hormones coursing through my body like an ice bath.
I walked straight to my dad’s office before I lost my nerve, tapping on the door as soon as I got to it. No time to chicken out.
"Come in," my dad called from inside.
My hand froze as I reached for the knob. Do it. I pushed myself and grabbed the door. "Hey, dad," I said a little too brightly as I walked in.
"Hey, pup," he replied without looking up from his computer. "Can you help me figure this out? I can’t get my email to pull up." He looked down his nose at the screen as if it were a snake he couldn’t figure out how to handle.
"Of course," I said, and rounded his desk, some of my tension eased. I noticed the problem right away. "You’ve got it set on caps lock." I pointed to the light on the Caps button. "Press that and try again."
He did as I sat in one of the leather chairs across from his desk.
"That was it." He smiled at me and closed the laptop. "Thanks. What can I do for you?"
I schooled my features so I didn’t look like a deer in headlights. "We need to talk."
"I can see that. What’s wrong, Jillian?"
My dad’s ever-present stubble was laced with silver, just like his wolf. The human expression was silver fox, but a fox held nothing on my dad in his lycan form. The unattached women of the pack went nuts over him. I tried not to gag every time they approached him.
His green eyes had always seen through me, and I feared they would in that moment, as I tried to force words out of my mouth. My jaw moved silently, lips curling around sentences that wouldn’t form.
"I—I, uh."
"Spit it out, pup," he commanded. "You haven’t acted like this since you wrecked my mustang when you were fourteen." He smiled fondly to let me know he wasn’t still mad.
"Daddy, you want me to be happy, right?" I wrung my hands in my lap.
"Of course, Jilly," he said, furrowing his brow. "I’ve always made sure you knew that. I won’t have you settle in life."
"Did you?" I asked.
"No, I didn’t. I was lucky and met your mother when
we were young. If you don’t find that, I want you to know you’re free to choose whoever you think will make you happiest."
I nodded my head and smiled encouragingly at him. "I have done that. Actually, I’ve met my mate." Mates, chicken shit.
Baby steps. I’d start with Kane and move on from there once his heart attack was healed.
He puffed up, a grin breaking out across his face. "That’s wonderful. Who is the lucky dog?"
"Well, his name is Kane."
He looked away, thinking. "I can’t recall a wolf called Kane. Is he local?" He watched me expectantly, waiting for an explanation.
"Well, he is local, but he’s not a lycan." I held my breath and waited for the explosion.
"A human?" he whispered, eyes wide. "How is that possible?"
"No, Daddy. Not a human. A vampire." I made my eyes as big and pleading as I could, plastering my most innocent and vulnerable expression on my face. Maybe it would help him find that place inside that forced him to give me whatever I wanted. I didn’t use this special power of mine often, but kept it as an ace in the hole when I really needed it. Like now.
His entire demeanor changed, darkened. "That’s not funny, Jillian."
I allowed my fear of his reaction to color my tone of voice and continued my pleading facial expression. "I’m not joking, Daddy."
"You’re not mated to a vampire. Lycans and vampires are never fated mates." He slammed his fist down on the table. His wolf was going wild, I could see it in his eyes.
"Daddy, you know that you can’t choose your fated mate." I lowered my eyes, showing submission to his alpha. My bottom lip trembled at the thought of my father casting me out.
"This is different. Has there ever been a record of a lycan and a vampire mating?" His voice was livid. This wasn’t going well. "When I told you to choose for yourself, I meant choose a Lycan, Jillian, what the hell did you think I meant?"
Bristling, my own alpha wolf snarled at my dad. Like I had a choice who my fated mate was. My wolf loved Dad but didn’t like hearing that he thought he could dictate who we mated. I met his eyes again. "Dad, I thought that you meant that you loved me and wanted me to do whatever would make me happy. Do you think I’d just go and mate with a vampire to be rebellious? Do you think I have a choice in who my fated mate is? That I could just ignore it?"
I couldn’t keep the hurt and anger out of my voice. Maybe I went too far with my tone but I wasn’t giving Kane up. Not now that I’d gotten to know him enough to understand that we could truly be happy together. And with my other two mates.
Dad visibly deflated, his anger leaving him suddenly. He looked old and worn down. "Jillian, do you have any idea how the pack is going to react to this?"
"I’ve got an inkling." My tone was equally as sorrowful. "Do you think it was my first choice to be mated to a vampire? This has been a confusing mess."
His eyes softened. "I’m sorry, pup. This isn’t going to be easy." He stood and walked around the desk, holding open his arms.
I ran into them gladly, hugging him for several long moments before pulling back. I paced his office as he leaned back on his desk. "Dad, in the long run, this is going to be very good. But I’ll need your support for it to work. We need to mend fences with the vampires. The humans are attacking us, and the best way for us to combat it is by working with the vampires and burying our past feuds with them."
He threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. "How do you think this is going to work, Jillian? That I’ll just make an announcement, and poof, everyone accepts you?"
"I have no clue how it’s going to work, this is new to me, too. All I know is that Kane is my fated mate. I can’t deny it. I don’t know how he did for so long."
"What do you mean?" he asked suspiciously.
"He came across me several years ago in a bar, but I didn’t notice or smell him somehow. He knew instantly what and who I was, but ignored it. Once we ran into each other again a few nights ago, neither one of us could ignore it at all. It was overwhelming."
He nodded his head as I spoke. "Yeah, that sounds like when I met your mom. We were barely old enough for such feelings. Your true mate overwhelms you. It’s more than you can resist. People that do fight it end up miserable, and nothing good ever comes from it."
"Well, how do you expect me to fight it?" I asked, indignant. Now that he was coming around, I didn’t have to be quite so submissive.
"Damn it, Jillian, did you expect me to be excited and welcome your new mate with open arms?"
"No, of course not. But you’re going to have to come around, there’s nothing I can do about it. Nor do I really want to. I’m not only mated to him, I like him. He’s strong, and smart. He’s been dethroned over this. The Blood gave him an ultimatum to take his place as the High King or choose his true mate. I don’t want to have to make the same choice. He’s going to need our support if we stand a chance of overcoming the obstacles in front of us. Because, Dad, if you make me choose…"
My chest tightened and a lump formed on throat at the thought of not being the High Alpha.
Dad ran his fingers through his hair. He kept it fairly short, only just long enough to get messy when he was stressed out or really tired. The streaks of silver in his stubble reached up into his black hair as well. "I would never make you choose. Unlike the vampire council, ours don’t hold too many prejudices. However, a mating between you and Kane would raise tension when we don’t need any more. And you are a hundred percent sure he is your true mate?"
"Dad," I growled.
Dad held his hands up. "I have to ask. Fuck. Jilly, you put me in a difficult spot."
Dread burned my insides and I bounced my left leg to keep from getting up and running out of his office. Don’t make me deny my feelings. "You said you wanted me to mate for love, to be happy."
He let out a heavy sigh and leaned forward. "I do. And if this vampire makes you happy, we’ll figure it out. " He fell silent while watching me. I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. The High Alpha was coming up with plan. "Well we have to get ahead of this. Who knows?"
"The vampire coven, Quin, and Voss. If any of the younger wolves are friends with the younger vampires, they might know, too." I was sure they did. The older pack members were kept mainly in the dark, but the younger members truly were ready for a change and had begun intermingling with the vampires. That was something my dad was aware of and most likely the reason why he hadn’t lost his shit at the news.
"We need to move quickly." He studied me, eyes squinted and lips pursed. "I have an idea, but you may not like it… and he may not go for it."
"What? Who?" What hairbrained scheme was he thinking up?
"The High Alpha is the leader of the pack. But traditionally his spouse takes up many pack duties. In your case, your spouse or mate would be expected to. But if he’s a vampire, he may not be allowed to."
"We thought of that. We hope in time, we could find ways for Kane to acclimate and find his own position within the pack."
"What if you took a second mate?" he asked slowly, watching my face.
"What do you mean? Like a divorce?" I narrowed my eyes. Was he trying to find a way for me to let go of Kane? Why didn’t he realize it wasn’t possible? Of all people, he should know.
"No, no, as in have two mates. You could find someone compatible, someone you can get along with. It wouldn’t have to be a sexual relationship. They’d get the benefits of being the High Alpha’s spouse, and you’d get a support system within the pack."
I gaped at him, dumbfounded. He was suggesting exactly what I hadn’t wanted to tell him. "You’re suggesting, if possible, I find someone that is willing to live a loveless life beside me and Kane in exchange for the power and prestige of the position of my spouse?"
He nodded his head. "Your second mate could have dalliances, if he were discreet. It’s been done. I mean he’d be basically mating for privilege and not your true mate."
Um, nope. I sat up straight in my sea
t. "First of all, no he couldn’t." The thought of Voss or Quin dallying, as my dad put it, with another woman made me want to rip her heart out and eat it. And she didn’t even exist. "Second of all, if you’re receptive to that, then there’s something else I need to tell you."
"What, you’re mated to more than one man?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Yes," I said, deadpan. "I am."
His laughter dried up. "Damn it, Jillian, are you playing a convoluted joke on me?"
"No, dad, I’m not."
He held my gaze and frowned. "Explain, please."
"Since I started going through puberty, and started noticing boys, you know…" I was uncomfortable saying more.
"I understand what you’re saying," he said, clearly also uncomfortable.
"Anyway, I was about thirteen, I guess, when Quin finished his training and became my sentry. He was in his early twenties. I had a huge crush on him."
"I noticed," he said, eyes twinkling. "And he was clearly fond of you. But I watched carefully, and you outgrew it."
"Sort of," I said. "I’d been around him most of my life. I think the emotions and tug became something I got used to."
"What emotions? Are you saying you’re mated to Quin?" His expression turned joyful. He saw Quin like a son as it was and would love to bring him into the family.
"Yes." I took a deep breath. "And Voss."
It was his turn to drop his jaw. "How… When... Did you not know?"
"I did," I said. "I ignored it. It helped that I was confused by the feelings that were there for Quin, and the tug toward both of them. I thought maybe I was just confused, or just attracted to them strongly and it wasn’t a fate thing."
"Is that why you’ve been especially cranky the last year?" he asked.
Shrugging, I chuckled. "Probably. When I was confronted with Kane, my wolf went nuts. His scent was so different from any thing I’d ever smelled. The reality smacked me in the face. And once I’d accepted him, Voss and Quin admitted they’d both felt the mating urge with me, and had just been waiting on me to come to terms with it. We had a long talk, and once I accepted all three of them in my heart as my mates, the world became comfortable again. I settled, and my anxiety vanished."
