by J Bree
When the last word slips out from my lips my chest is heaving and my heart pounds wildly in my chest. I give myself a second before I open my eyes, just a moment to collect myself so I don’t fall to my knees and sob like a child. When I pull the earbuds out I hear clapping and I grin at Miss Umber. She’s looking at me the exact same way she looks at Blaise when he sings, like I’ve exceeded all of her expectations and dreams as a teacher.
“Miss Anderson! I’ve never-you are a rare talent!” she grips my hand tightly in hers and tugs me into a hug. I try not to freeze or flail awkwardly but I’m not hugged often enough to be comfortable. I can't actually remember the last time I was hugged. As she lets me go I turn and see Avery standing in the doorway, her jaw damn near hitting the ground.
She’s heard me sing.
I feel exposed. Worse than even my 911 call, I feel like she can see inside me. I'd given up singing so long ago that not even Matteo has heard me. Only my dead mum and she took the memories of my singing to the grave with her.
I break away from her slack-jawed stare and turn back to our teacher, a flush staining my cheeks. I don’t know what to do with myself and I nod along dumbly as Miss Umber gushes to me.
“I can’t believe I’ve missed your voice so far this year! You’re range rivals Mr Morrison’s, has he heard you sing?”
Oh, god. There is no way I want him to ever hear me.
“I don’t think so. It’s not… I’m not interested in performing. I’d rather stick to the group sessions.”
Once she’s finished marking my rubric I take the page and flee the room.
Avery hasn’t moved from the doorway and I have to brush past her to leave. She doesn’t move to let me pass and when I look down at her fist I see the pages I’d slipped under her door crumpled in her hands.
Hannaford prides itself on ‘encouraging’ its students to excel by posting all grades publicly. It’s never bothered me because I’ve always had top spot, or occasionally second spot if Harley beats me. I would feel bad for the other students here who land closer to the bottom if I didn’t already know they were going to be millionaires the moment they turn eighteen and get their trust funds.
The first time I decide I hate this system is when the choir marks are posted. That’s when I learn Blaise has never come second in that class in his life.
I’ve beaten him by a teeny tiny margin.
I take my usual seat with Lauren, Jessie, and Dahlia and I try to ignore the eyes that are on me. Lauren leans towards me and then stops dead as Avery and Blaise walk in. I had expected Avery to have told Blaise about my singing but one look at him tells me she didn’t.
“What. The. Fuck.”
He whips around to look at me and I glue my eyes to Miss Umber so I can keep blanking him. The students around us start to murmur and gasp but I don’t let my gaze waiver. Miss Umber claims first place in my list of favorite teachers by starting the lesson before Blaise can confront me.
“Mr Morrison, Miss Beaumont, if you could both take your seats so we can begin! Please start our usual warm ups and then we can start discussing what each student can be working to improve on before our next assignments.”
There is no way I want to discuss my singing with the whole class but short of faking an illness there is nothing I can do to get out of it. And then Miss Umber tumbles back down to the bottom of the list by ruining my life.
“Miss Anderson, can you please swap groups, I’d like you and Mr Morrison together where I can monitor your progress accordingly.”
Every eye in the room is on me.
I flush scarlet and pray that a stroke takes me out. There is no justice in the world because my heart continues to beat and I’m forced to collect my bag and move across the room. Miss Umber holds out a seat for me and then I’m sitting right next to the devil herself. Blaise is still trying to catch my eye but I will not play his game.
Once the warm ups are finished my hands are trembling and my stomach is a roiling pit. I couldn’t half-ass it now I’m stuck under Miss Umber’s eye and Avery is watching my every move. I sit on my hands so she can’t see how badly I’m shaking. The moment Miss Umber starts to write out notes during her explanation of the correct breathing methods we should be using depending on application Blaise leans over Avery so far he practically in her lap.
“Since when can you fucking sing?”
I take out my notebook and ignore him. I never take notes in Choir but it’s a good excuse to ignore him. He’s not an easy guy to get away from. “Mounty, how did you get a higher mark than me? Are you fucking the teacher?”
I snort and keep writing. I don’t spare him a glance as I reply. “If anyone is fucking Miss Umber it’s you. Why would I take Choir if I can’t sing? I told you I liked Vanth for your voice, did you not think I was telling the truth? It was one singer admiring the talent of another, that’s it. Get over it.”
Avery pushes Blaise back into his own seat and off of her lap. I’m a little weary that she seems to be helping me but I know there’ll be an ulterior motive. Blaise is mumbling under his breath and Avery slips her hand into his and that’s when I know I’m in trouble. That I’m about to be tormented by them again. Avery Beaumont is always the calm before the storm. While her brother and his friends get angry and loud about it, Avery is silent as she efficiently makes her moves to destroy me.
I shake my head at her and go back to my notes.
When the class finishes I leave without looking at Blaise again. Classes are done for the day and when I round the corner to walk back into the main building I hear the footsteps right behind me.
They’re both following me.
It’s taco night and I’ve had to miss the last two taco nights because of Beaumont bullshit so I head straight to the dining hall for an early dinner. I give them both a warning look when they sit across from me at the long table. Neither of them have bothered to grab anything to eat so we sit in silence as I start to eat my tacos. They're good but I can't enjoy them with my hostile audience watching my every move.
I break the silence.
“What are you planning on doing to me just because I got a better mark than your little friend?”
Blaise’s eyes narrow at me and then he hesitantly glances at Avery. She’s staring at me, down her nose like Ash does, and it sends my blood boiling. I’ve grown accustomed to being the poor little foster kid. Even at Mounts Bay I had people looking down at me for my drug addict mom but no one makes me feel more shit about it than the Beaumont’s do.
“Did you take the photos of Rory and Harlow together?” she says, completely monotone like she’s not discussing her cheating boyfriend.
I nod and drink my juice. I’m distracted enough by the conversation that I don’t think twice about it. Blaise is staring at her, his eyes slits of rage and his cheeks have deep red patches. I’ve assumed this far that they’re all so close they don’t keep secrets but now I see I was wrong. He runs a hand over the back of his neck and blows out a frustrated breath. I wonder how long it will take before Ash is publicly beating the life out of Rory. Or will it be Harley this time?
“Why didn’t you send them out to everyone? You’re convinced I sent out your nudes, wouldn’t that be the best revenge for you?”
It’s a trap but I know no matter what she’ll hate me. Why not tell the truth? “I believed Ash when he said you didn’t have anything to do with that. It doesn’t matter though, even if you did I wouldn’t have sent them out. I don’t do that shit. If I want revenge I go straight to the source and do it properly, I’m not good at this social hierarchy stuff. I’m at this school to make a better life for myself. Whatever you guys do to me, it’s nothing compared to what’s waiting for me at Mounts Bay.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
I blew out an exasperated breath. Why does this girl rile me up so badly? I’m giving her answers and she still wants more. I should tell her to go fuck herself. I should tell her choke, to jump off a cliff, to go and
hide amongst the beautiful boys she hangs around and leave me the hell alone. I don’t.
“Rory is a fucking scumbag. I’m not one of these brainwashed bimbos who thinks its funny when other girls are treated like shit by guys. I think he’s a dick and I think you deserve to know where he’s sticking his dick. Plus, I didn’t see a condom in use so, you know. He’s probably caught something truly heinous from that bitch and you should get tested to make sure he hasn’t passed it on to you.”
As I lift my juice to my lips I see a flash of regret pass over her face. I've never seen that sort of human emotion out of her before and it makes me feel another pang of sympathy for her. We were both born into cages. Mine was poverty, drugs, the threat of gangs and violence. Hers is a gilded cage but the bars work just the same. She's trapped by her blood and her name. I wonder, not for the first time, what her parents are like. Are they as beautiful as their children? Are they loyal and caring like the twins or did Joey come be his cruelty honestly?I should really take a closer look into them, maybe get Matteo to dig around for me.
“For the record, none of this is because of what you did to Harley. It’s not an eye for an eye anymore. If you stay here Joey will kill you. He likes to break things. You're not shattering the way he likes, you're proving to be too strong. He doesn't let strong things survive.” She's warning me. What has she put in place, what will I have to survive this time? I swallow.
“It's ok. I'll survive it. Whatever it is you’ve done and then I'll survive your brother too. I have no choice but to survive.”
She nods sharply and bumps Blaise to get him moving. He's not happy. He's watched our entire exchange with that frown on his face and I do something entirely left of field.
I smile at him.
Just a tiny, sad lifting of the corners of my lips but he stares at me with heartbreak in those stunning green eyes of his.
He's in on whatever she's done and he's torn about it. He had probably convinced himself to help because I was a stalker fan in their eyes and then I'd gotten that higher mark.
The last thing I remember thinking is that he wears heartbreak so fucking well.
And then my mind knows nothing.
Chapter Eighteen
The blackout is so overwhelming that I have no memory of what happened that night.
I ate dinner with Avery and Blaise and then I’m waking up in one of the seniors bathrooms. I only know that for sure because I’d accidentally used it on my first day and had been bitched out by one of Joey’s flunkies. The large, ornate mirrors are a dead giveaway. The door is locked from the inside so I know I’ve done that myself and I’m freezing. My whole body shivering uncontrollably. It may be the temperature or it could be the aftereffects of whatever it is Avery drugged me with.
I swear under my breath at my own idiocy. It must have been slipped in the juice. I’d forgotten the number one rule of being around these assholes, never accept a drink from them.
I push myself up to stand on my shaking legs and look in the large mirror. I still have all of my clothes on, which is a relief, but there’s vomit all down my shirt and splattered on my legs. My hair is a mess and there are deep, black circles under my eyes. I can’t see any new bruises or scratches and I hope that Avery’s moral code includes making sure I wasn’t assaulted while I was out of it. I look as though I’ve been out drinking all night and I’m sure that’s the end game here. Underage drinking by paying students is frowned upon and will result in a warning but I’m held to a different standard here at Hannaford. I’ll lose my scholarship if I’m caught and breathalysed.
I pull my phone out of my bag and thank whatever guiding hand led me to this bathroom while I was out of it. I take a deep breath before hitting call. I know Matteo has the resources to help me. How else had he gotten me out of breaking Harlow’s nose? He answers straight away and I don’t even bother with pleasantries, I just drive right into an explanation of what has happened. He listens intently.
“It’s bad Matteo. I’m going to get kicked out if you can’t help me.”
“Maybe you should come home, kid.” His cool tones do nothing to soothe my nerves.
“Fuck that. I’m not going to get run out of this place by spoilt right kids. Please just… help me.” He sighs at me, like I’m being unreasonable. I know he’s getting pissed at me for not just leveling the damn building and being done with it but if I have to I can start calling in favors.
“Give me ten minutes.”
I hang up and slump down on the wall again. The vomit on my shirt is still wet, it’s cold and the smell is truly horrendous. I can’t wait for a hot shower and my bed. Fuck these rich dicks. I wipe down my shirt and my legs as best I can to clear away the vomit. Tacos have now been ruined for me forever, thanks Avery. I stare at the wall and I must zone out because when my phone pings again I makes me jump.
All sorted. Just walk back to your room. Call me if you need anything else. M.
I exhale and open the door. There’s students standing around in the hall and I can see Avery’s little flunkies with their phones out. I step into the hall and I can hear them whispering and giggling amongst themselves. I keep my head high as I start to head back to the dorms. I get as far as the main staircase before I’m faced with Avery, Ash, and Blaise. Avery looks victorious but the boys both look a little sick at the sight of me. Clearly they’re not fans of girls covered in vomit which is mildly reassuring. There’s a teacher I don’t recognize standing with them wearing gym clothes.
“Mr. Embley? I found Miss Anderson, she’s a little worse for wear and I think I can smell alcohol.” Avery’s voice is saccharine and I could vomit again at the sound of it. Mr Embley steps out from his office and I try not to cringe. Did Matteo know I’d be facing this teacher? How did he think I’d be getting out of this? Fuck, I’m doomed. Before I can spiral any further into a panic Mr Embley ushers me forward.
“Miss Beaumont, please let Miss Anderson pass, she doesn’t look well.”
I sigh in relief. I shouldn’t ever doubt Matteo. His reach is unparalleled and he makes Avery look like the child she is. He may be infinitely more dangerous but at least he’s the devil I know. I start back up the stairs as the whispers get louder and more insistent.
“Mr. Embley, aren’t you going to breath test her? I saw her drinking last night.” Avery’s voice had changed back to the sharp edge she always reserved for people she thought were lesser than her. It was the first time I’d heard her use it on a teacher.
I level her with a look as I go to pass her. I feel like we’ve come to some sort of an agreement where she’ll dish out punishments and I’ll take them just the same. Ash steps in front of me so I’m forced to stop. I think about stepping into him and getting my vomit on him but stop myself. He’s looking at me, at my face and the bruises under my eyes, for a second it looks like he’s checking to make sure I’m ok. He seems uneasy about what his sister has done to me.
“Let her pass. She needs some rest. Do you need the nurse, Miss Anderson? No, then head straight to your room please. The Jackal sends his regards.”
Ash’s eyes widen slightly, like he’s never heard anyone disobey his sister before, and Blaise crosses his arms. I smirk at them both. The moment would feel a lot more victorious if I wasn’t cold and disgusting.
“Looks like you’re not the only one with connections, Floss.” I whisper so only they can hear me.
Ash finally moves and I walk back to my room, slowly and with my head held high. As I round the corner to the girls dorm I see Lauren and Jessie studying in the sitting area. They look up and see me, their jaws drop. Lauren scrambles to get up but then she glances around the room to check to see who else is watching. I clench my jaw and give her a quick shake of my head. I’m frustrated at how afraid she is, how easily she bows down to the whims of the more popular students.
I make it to my room and I grab my shower bag. I make it four steps away from my door when Harley steps out of one of the other girls rooms and directl
y in my path. Annabelle steps out after him. I had no idea she lived two doors down from me, that the guys had been fucking her two doors down from me and, as irrational as it may seem, it pisses me off to know how close I am to that.
If looks could kill, Annabelle would be buried by now.
Harley glances at me and then levels her with a glare so dark I’d be worried if I were in her shoes. She ignores him completely. The smirk she gives me only lasts as long as it takes me to flip her the bird as I shove past them both and into the bathroom to shower.
I remember to take everything into the shower stall with me this time.
“Out.”
Harley’s voice bounces off of the bathroom tiles. I’ve stripped out of my dirty uniform and I’ve barely got the shower running. I think for a second he’s talking to me and then I hear the other girls leave and the door to the communal shower close and lock.
“I’d rather not be locked in here with you.” I say, my voice still raw, as I wrap a towel around my naked body. I don’t know if I think he’ll burst in here with me or what but it feels too intimate to be naked with only the stall door between us.
“Just have your shower. We’ll talk once you’re clean.”
I wait a minute and when he doesn’t go on I drop the towel and get under the spray. The heat from the water pierced my skin and soaked straight through my bones until I’m left tingling. I just stand there and try and get warm for a moment before I start scrubbing my skin to wash away the vomit and grime from my skin. The smell at first is vile but after my second pass over with the washcloth I’m able to just enjoy the shower. Once I’m happy with the state of my skin I brush my teeth, twice.
