Today I have faith in my own power to heal.
Day 292
Loving Myself
I love myself.
Life can be tough for everyone on the planet. That’s why love is so important for all of us. Our issues drive love underground, though. Therefore our process is essential for healing not only ourselves, but for restoring the world. We women who love ourselves unconditionally possess a greater ability to love our partners.
Although we often have tangled relationships with ourselves and with partnership, today we make a decision to spread love on the planet. Emotional availability is about deep, profound love. Now we know that the work we are doing is promoting our healing and the healing of the world.
Today I glory in all of myself!
Day 293
Contribution
I share my experiences.
Keeping a potential partner at arms length is a real symptom of our partnership issues. In the past, people were either bombarded by our experiences or completely left out of the loop because we have had difficulty sharing with them. Now we practice letting someone into our lives one day at a time.
We have value. We have something to share with other people, whether it is the person in our life, another woman in the process of healing her partnership issues, or a child who can benefit by our experience. Our contributions help. Now we know that emotional availability is about sharing our experiences and giving to life.
Today I contribute to life.
Day 294
An Open Heart
I open my heart to myself and to others.
For many of us, heartbreaks happened early in our lives. From then on it seemed safer and more appropriate to keep our hearts closed. The heart, however, is an emotional center that needs to be open in order to function appropriately. Now we are learning that when we open our hearts to ourselves, we are also able to open our hearts to others.
Maintaining an open heart takes a lot of practice. One exercise to do is to imagine a person in front of us and breathe warm, loving flames around them when we breathe in. As we breathe out, we fan these loving, warm flames. This exercise works. It opens our hearts.
The more we open our hearts to ourselves and to potential partners, even in the form of a meditation like this, the more clearly that we see that there are many people around us with whom we are able to be openhearted. Then we are better at knowing who to open our heart to. Try it—it really works.
Today I open my heart to safe people.
Day 295
Natural Born Lovers
I am a natural born lover.
“Two year olds are like Buddhist sages. They aren’t Buddhist sages, but they act in accordance with their inner natures.”―Ron Epstein
We are all natural born partners. Little children have no fear of loving who they want, as they want, when they want to. When we are born, we come into this world as a being of pure love. We are the result of the ultimate creative act—the generation of new life. As we grew up, this natural knowledge of love may have been bred out of us; however, if we learned ineffective love behaviors, we can unlearn them.
We learned how to love from our parents, the media, and from other models. While many of the love behaviors we learned are wonderful and work in our lives, other types of behaviors that we connect with love are dysfunctional. Today we let go of all outmoded behaviors we associate with love. Now we see that behind all that information, we know how to partner naturally.
Today I return to the natural lover inside of me.
Day 296
The Right Person
I am becoming the right person.
“The light you seek is your own lantern.”―The Buddha
Finding a partner is the great myth of fulfillment in our culture. Women are often waiting for another person to come illuminate us, yet we do not need to wait! We all can share our knowledge and talents with the world in this moment, partner or no partner.
In our world, it is easy to get distracted from our own power. We may think, “I need someone to take care of me.” “I need protection,” or “I will be complete when I find that someone special.” However, thinking this way detours us from using and cultivating our precious and special gifts right now.
Just for today, we know that we are in the process of becoming the right person because we are our own light.
Today I am not looking for the right person anymore because I nurture the right person in me.
Day 297
Spirit
I touch base with my spiritual self and ask myself who I want.
Our spirit is always unchanging. We can’t lose it, sell it, or be completely alienated from our spirit. Many of us have lost touch with our spirit, though. Now our work is to reconnect with our spirituality. When we do touch base with our Self, we receive a magical gift.
Our spirit knows who we truly need and want to be with. Whenever we are with someone and begin feeling joyful, calm, and good, our spirit is giving us information that we can grow with this person. The message is that they feed our soul. When we are generally discontented, angry, confused, upset, and depressed around a person, the voice of our spirit is sending a strong message.
Today our task is to stay connected to this still voice. Now we honor what it is saying, even if that is difficult. Our spirit always gives us correct information; however, our minds are good at talking us out of what our spirit knows. Today let’s practice tuning in and honoring our spirit.
Today I ask myself how this person affects my spirit.
Day 298
Self-Definition
I define for myself what my spiritual life needs.
We are worth all the time and commitment the process of healing takes. Many wonderful spiritual teachers are out there to help us; however, in the realm of spirituality some people want to help by giving advice where it is not needed. Many of us have accepted direction from others because we were unsure of ourselves; therefore, changing may be very challenging for us and for the people in our lives. If we have a friend, a religious institution, or parental influences that are trying to control our spiritual development, this is the appropriate time for us to set limits with them.
We are on a spiritual path. Our process may look different than that of other people in our lives. It is important is to realize that, while people mean well, our journey belongs to us. Today we take the time to set boundaries with love where appropriate. Now we create our own definition of our spirituality.
Today I chart the course of my spiritual development.
Day 299
Spiritual Acceptance
I accept my spirit just as it is in this moment.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience.”―Anonymous
We often have paid dearly from trying to “sell our soul” or attempting to somehow change who we truly are to be with a partner. Because there is nothing about us that needs to be changed on a spiritual level except to love and accept ourselves more, we have never been successful in trying to control ourselves, our partners, or situations for very long.
Now as we heal our partnership issues, we may not be entirely happy with our behavior all the time, yet we trust that our essence is just fine. The desire to fit in and change ourselves can be oppressive in our world. Today we know that we do not have to dive into the cultural obsession. The person in our lives deserves to see all the radiance that we are—our spiritual being. Now we reveal ourselves when it is safe.
Today I know that my spirit is wonderful.
Day 300
Abundance
4,800 potential partners are available right now in your area.
“There are lots of men in the city who want to have fun.”―David Cheek
Even if we do not live in a city, there are many available people for us to partner with. We sometimes forget that there are others who want to connect with us as much as we want them. Our issues are about seriousness and scarcity. We b
elieve that all the good people have already been taken; we fear that we will be left out. As a matter of fact, today there are more single people in the world then ever before. Scarcity is simply not realistic. We have the chance to pick with ease. There are many wonderful potential partners who would love to connect with us.
Today is the day to remember that we are pulling from a field of plenty. All people are legal; it is always OK to interact with anyone. We need only determine who feels good to us. Then, shedding seriousness, we let ourselves play. Not every person will be good for us, yet we can trust that there are many loving individuals available for us right now.
Today I delight in the abundance of potential partners in my world.
Day 301
My Soul
I trust my soul to lead me to an available partner who wants me.
We have rarely let our souls lead us in interactions with partners; however, our souls know exactly who we need in a person. Acknowledging that a wealth of information exists inside of us detailing who works well for us is revolutionary. It can be hard to believe if we are used to listening to our fears, our parents, or the media. Underneath all the layers of rules and data we have been handed, however, our soul is patiently waiting for us to look inward for answers.
By uncovering the layers of misinformation and misdirection we have been given and have given ourselves for so long, we are led to who we need to be with. Our souls want to direct us to a person who is non-abusive, kind, and available. Our task today is simply to tune into that trustworthy and wise part of ourselves that already knows exactly who we need.
Today I uncover the part of my soul that is directing me to a wonderful partner.
Day 302
Plenty
There are plenty of people who are already just right for me.
“When you find yourself, you will see that there are 20 people in front of you who are just right for you.”—Hillary Flye
Women who experience challenges in relating look for the flaw in a potential partner, the feature that makes it impossible for us to get close. Usually we do this to ourselves as well. Instead of focusing on the positives within ourselves, we pick ourselves mercilessly apart. We think, “I am too heavy. I don’t have the ‘right’ clothes. I have a blemish on my chin.”
Today when we work to explore the richness and magic of who we are, we find ourselves; then we no longer judge on appearances. As we acknowledge our own magnificence, then we don’t judge a book by its cover. When we meet someone; we see them.
In this moment, I see plenty of partners who are a good fit for me.
Day 303
Authority
I let my spirit dictate who it wants, when it wants this person, and when it is full of love.
Following our spirit’s guidance yields better and happier love experiences for us. Listening to the voice of our spirit can be challenging, though. Our society does not often teach us to value the authority of our spiritual selves. We learn that if we aren’t actively trying to “snag” a partner, or at least practicing time-tested feminine wiles, that we will never be OK. Listening to the voice of the soul informing us who we want, when we feel desire for them, and when we are satisfied, takes practice and courage.
Because we may not have had much experience connecting with our spirit in this way, it can be helpful to run our discoveries by another safe person when we do get internal direction. That way we get a “reality check.” Now we know that if we practice diligently and with the support of safe others, we will find tremendous rewards from following the dictates of our soul.
Today I delve into my spirit to discover who I want, how much of a person’s company I want, and when I want them.
Day 304
Abundant Choices
I let myself be abundant about all potential partners and then from within my soul choose who is right for me.
Today there are actually more single people then ever in our society. We have an abundance of people to choose from. Too often, though, women are told about the shortage of available partners in our culture. This is terrorism on an emotional level. Today we do not buy into this belief. Now we try out anyone who appeals to our souls. We give ourselves the authority to choose the individual that is right for us. As we heal, we learn that there are many people out there; all types are legal.
Then we begin to mingle, going within our souls during these interactions with potential partners. With practice, we get a sense of the type of person who works well for us. Today we explore the world about us and see the abundance of people who are just right for us. Then we let our soul dictate who we want.
Today I have an abundance of partners to choose from.
Chapter Summary:
Your spiritual self knows exactly who you need. Getting in touch with this gentle, subtle part of yourself takes practice; however, your core self is waiting patiently to help you choose an emotionally available partner. When you listen to your intuition, touch base with how you are feeling, and invite peace into your relationships, you are honoring your spiritual being.
Today take a few minutes to get quiet and centered. Listen inward to the voice of your spirit. Ask yourself questions. Ask, “What are my internal beliefs about the abundance of potential partners out there? Do I have faith that I will make it to the other side of my partnership issues? Do I believe I have a divine gift to share with the world? What do I want to share? Who do I want to share it with?” When you have answered these questions, take some time to thank your spirit.
With practice you are getting better and better at identifying that still, quiet voice. Since connecting to your spiritual center is hard to do, it is imperative that you be gentle with yourself if you are not tuned in all at once. This is normal. As you continue on your journey, remember that you are a miracle. Every time you access the power and freedom of your spiritual being, you are moving closer to celebrating the journey. The next chapter will show you ways to congratulate yourself.
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Celebrating Our
Journey
This chapter will help you to celebrate your process. You will become skilled at manifesting your dreams, at enjoying your newfound freedom and power, and at handling holidays and other events. This is the chapter that helps you toast to your success. Enjoy this large pat on the back. With every day that passes, you are closer to true love!
Day 305
Celebration
I celebrate who I am.
We are miraculous creations of our Higher Power. Today is a day to celebrate. A wedding is traditionally regarded as a woman’s day to have everything her way. Other than during nuptials, society offers women few opportunities to celebrate ourselves so formally and visibly; therefore, marriage takes on added significance for women.
Some of us who have not married yet may feel excluded by society’s traditions. If that is the case, today we can make a decision to celebrate ourselves. Celebrations feel good and affirm our lives. Joy, elegance, flowers, cake, special music, and good friends can make us feel special and appreciated. Whatever is going on in our lives right now is an occasion to celebrate; this day is important. Now we know that we have a unique place in the world. We are a reason to celebrate.
Today I celebrate myself.
Day 306
Gratitude
I thank myself for giving myself love.
When we are in love, we glow. People are charmed by our energy. Love lights us up from within. It is a profoundly wonderful experience when we give ourselves love, too. Love is a gift that radiates out from us. Gifts of love may seem like small acts, yet the world is healed each time we love.
Gratitude for love’s gifts also sets up its own energy that generates more love in the world. Love freely given to ourselves and to others creates a wonderful platform for healing; working out our partnership issues helps us all. For this reason, each time we practice love in our relationships with ourselves or with others, we truly thank ourselves for the wonderful gift we
are giving.
Today I know that my gratitude is healing the planet.
Day 307
Manifesting
I love to manifest my dreams.
It is easy to lose track of our interests as we grow up. Society generally encourages its women to fit into neat categories and to put other people’s interests above our own; however, today we reclaim our unique talents, dreams, and interests. What do we dream of? What are our goals and aspirations? What interested us as we grew up?
Today we have the space in our lives to live our dreams. In fact, as soon as we let go of our obsessions with people, our challenging relationships, and all the drama, we find we have oodles of time on our hands. Being stuck in our partnership issues has drained us of much of our energy. Now that we have it back, we have a chance to rebuild our lives and do amazing things.
Today I live my dreams.
Day 308
Adulthood
I am an adult woman around my attraction to a potential partner.
Being an adult takes hard work and sometimes isn’t fun. Too often in our culture women are labeled girls. We are told dependence is the easy route. We are encouraged to rely on other people’s ideas of who we should partner with. It may be easier sometimes to depend on others, or to rebel against them; however, the price paid for this is too high.
Today let’s choose to be fully mature and claim our adult feminine power. Adulthood means honoring all of our attractions. We also honor those times that we do not feel attracted to a person or when we want to be alone. Female adulthood means owning our power and exulting in all our experiences of attraction. Today we are responsible for ourselves.
Today I have all my feelings for a potential partner, not just the ones society “allows” me as a woman.
The Emotionally Available Partner Page 20
