by Liahona West
He didn’t know what was worse, seeing her in person or knowing he had destroyed her life.
Boris turned to the woman after he noticed Bannack’s expression and signed. She shook her head, smiling warmly, and signed back. Boris made no effort to hide his frustration, using a wide, arching gesture as he signed, growling and huffing.
“His wife,” Kendal whispered. “She’s completely lucid, only she believes it’s the Fifties.”
Bannack’s feet cemented to the porch when Boris turned back around, his wife staying on the stairs. She watched Bannack. His heart beat in his ears so loud he heard nothing except the steady whooshing and thrumming of pulsing blood.
“Kendal,” Bannack whispered, unable to remove his gaze from the floor. “I can’t be here.”
She whispered, “You need to know people are capable of forgiveness.”
Palms sweating, Bannack followed Kendal into the house. He recoiled when Tamra stepped close, his eyes flicking to the open door until Boris shut it. Bannack searched for any escape points as his muscles wound tight. Unyielding.
Boris sat opposite them on the tufted couch. His wife sat in the chair to his right, her back straight, ankles crossed, and hands relaxed in her lap.
“My wife has asked me to translate.”
Before Boris translated, Bannack asked, “Why did you let us in?”
“Tamra, my wife,” Boris grumbled as he glanced briefly at her, “has reminded me of my own past. She also wants to speak with you.”
“Why with me?” Bannack couldn’t move from where he sat perched on the edge of the couch like a bird on a fence, ready to take flight and escape at a moment’s notice. He struggled to focus, as well, and if he looked at either Boris or Tamra for longer than a few moments, his ears would heat and the tremor in his hands would worsen.
Decorated to imitate a typical Fifties home, the house sported blush pink cabinets in the kitchen and floral printed drapes. A console television, set on thin wooden legs, faced the oval coffee table between the blue couch Kendal and Bannack sat on and the mustard yellow chairs Boris and Tamra occupied.
“Only she knows,” Boris said and motioned to his wife. “I will translate. Nothing more.”
Tamra gestured with her hands and fingers as she communicated through Boris. “Why did you visit?”
“Uh…” Bannack blinked at her. He hadn’t expected her to lead with a question. “Kendal asked me to come.”
“But why are you here?”
He didn’t know why. Kendal brought him so he came, and he wasn’t even sure why he joined her. What used to be a simple black and white answer in getting his memory wipe had now morphed into a vast abyss of a gray area he floundered in.
Bannack looked to Tamra. She calmly watched him, so he asked, “Do you know who I am?”
She nodded.
“Then why are you even talking to me?”
Tamra didn’t skip a beat. “Everyone deserves a second chance. My Boris says you are here to heal things, and I’m willing to be the first to let you in.”
Bannack jumped to his feet. “But I destroyed you.”
“You are remorseful.”
Her signed words made his mind tumble. A huge knot formed in his throat, pushing and throbbing with each swallow, and Bannack paced. The silence in the room was ear-shattering. How can anyone give me a second chance?
“You don’t understand,” Bannack said as he knelt down in front of her.
Boris surged to his feet, nostrils flaring, but Tamra flicked her hand at him and her husband slowly sat.
“You lost your memory because of me. Horrible things were done to you because of me. It’s my fault and there’s no way to get that back.” He stared at the floor. “I want to apologize, but nothing I say will fix what I did.”
Tamra tapped Bannack’s shoulder. He looked up at her, eyes glistening. She signed, “Apologies are more than words. I can see your remorse in your body language and your face. Do something. Oppose her, deny her, fight her. Then people will see. Not everyone will accept you, but those who do are the important ones. Keep them close. They are precious.” After a slight pause, Tamra continued. “I learned from Dr. Martin Luther King’s speech several years ago that we should only be judged on who each person is as a person and looking at you now, I do not believe you are who you think.”
Words creaked out of Bannack in barely a whisper. “You do not know me.”
Tamra looked to Kendal. “If she is willing to bring you here, you must be a good person. Her presence is why I let you in.”
A huge shuddering sigh left Bannack’s body and his muscles deflated. No one had ever shown such benevolence to him before; he wasn’t sure what to do with it. He sat in front of Tamra, his head in his hands, and shook. After several moments, a hand on Bannack’s shoulder made him jump.
When he looked up, Kendal was standing above him. “You were willing to give up everything before and if you had gone through with your plans, you would have ended up lost. Do you still want to walk away? Tell me, Blue Eyes, whatcha gonna do about this?” Kendal placed her hand on Bannack’s shoulder. “Few moments happen in a person’s life that will define them. This is yours.”
Bannack played his memories over and over in his mind. His childhood, when the bombs dropped on the United States, losing his family, saving Nora, wandering homeless, meeting Eloise.
I don’t want to be lonely anymore.
He backed away, body shaking and his feet slow to move. Bannack stumbled toward the staircase. The grooves of the wooden planks on the wall bumped the back of Bannack’s head as he slid to the floor, shivering and groaning.
This is so hard.
“You’re still here?” Kendal asked.
Bannack looked up at her. “Yes.” He put his forehead on his knees.
Kendal immediately began laughing. A ping of confused frustration stabbed at his belly as he scowled.
“Oh, don’t get your feathers all ruffled. You need some tough love now and then. When you go to the Compound, you gotta make some changes if you want to be a respectable member of society. I love you and all, but you throw some epic pity parties.”
“When I go back?”
“Well, yeah. That’s the whole point of you sitting here, isn’t it? And coming to me. You know what the right choice is but you’re throwing…” Kendal let her words fall silent as she gestured at him, waiting for him to finish her sentence.
“A pity party,” he grumbled.
“Exactly.” Kendal smiled. “Obviously you have a good heart, or you would have done nothing when you met Eloise. You also care about people’s opinion of you after finding out about your past, or you wouldn’t have come to me. Eloise has been through hell too and I have a hunch she’ll understand.”
“How do you know?”
“The girl attacked you when you first met. She knows about Joy and the experiments. She has a scar that’s connected with the nightmare she had in my plane. I can guarantee you she’ll understand. And if she doesn’t, my door’s always open.”
Bannack took a deep breath. He could count on Kendal to be the voice of reason, but his future terrified him. “Can I crash at your place till tomorrow?”
“Sure,” Kendal said and stood, offering her hand.
“Hey, Kendal?”
She turned and Bannack smiled. “Medɔ wo. Thank you for being a good friend.”
“Awe, shucks, Blue Eyes.” Kendal waved him off with her hand. “Love ya, too. You’re making me all teary-eyed.”
Bannack laughed once. “You? Nah.”
They thanked both Tamra and Boris for their hospitality, Boris only shaking Bannack’s hand when Tamra encouraged him to, and walked back to the plane. Bannack spent the rest of the day helping out with Kendal’s tavern by waiting tables, breaking up a near brawl or two, and keeping the customers entertained. In the evening, they shared a meal of bread, fruit, and salted meat. Then Bannack took a cot on the floor
.
By the morning, he rolled up the bedroll, put it away, and penned a thank you note to Kendal.
He didn’t know what would happen in the future, but he was willing to try.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Eloise
Soora burst through Eloise’s door, surprising her so much that she had to jump to her feet to avoid the knife she was sharpening slicing through her foot. Eloise turned to Soora, gave a frustrated huff, and picked up the knife.
“I’m sorry but it’s important.”
“You coulda knocked,” Eloise said. She tucked the third throwing knife into her boot and slipped the kukri into its sheath on her thigh. “Sharp things cut.”
“Save your mouth and come with me.”
The edge to Soora’s voice made Eloise’s skin prickle. “What’s going on?”
Soora turned around and mumbled, “Nothing good.”
They walked to Mason’s study, voices growing louder as they came closer, and when they came within earshot, Eloise’s body froze.
“I want to see her now!”
Eloise’s eyes rounded and she looked at Soora who jabbed at the door with her finger. Taking a deep breath, Eloise turned the doorknob.
“How’d you get through our lines?”
Joy stood in front of Mason’s desk and spun at Eloise’s question, dressed in clothing Eloise had never seen her in. A green jacket with a fur hood, long black leggings torn at the knees, and black hiking boots.
“I’m glad you finally decided to join us,” Joy smiled.
Eloise eyed her, screaming inside, and walked to Mason. She leaned over his desk. “What’s she doing here?”
“I let her through.”
“You…what?” The last word increased the volume of Eloise’s voice. She clenched her fists, chest heaving. “Why? We just talked—”
“I know…” he held up a hand. “I know we did. I know she’s the enemy.” Mason eyed Joy, then his eyes flicked back to Eloise. “She came alone. And before you start asking, yes, we surveyed the area before letting her through. Three klicks in all directions. There’s no sign anyone came through or was waiting for us.”
“Are you absolutely sure she’s alone because someone like her,” Eloise pointed at Joy, “doesn’t just waltz in here like she owns the place!”
“And that’ll be on me!” Mason stood, his fingers splayed out on top of his desk. “We have an agreement that prohibits her from doing anything to us. Now, please, listen to Joy so she can get the hell out of here.”
Working her jaw, Eloise turned around and folded her arms. “Well?”
Joy, who had been sitting in a wingback chair with her knees crossed, undid them and stood as if she were the Queen. “Originally, I came to bring you back with me.” The room tensed. Joy lowered her eyelids and scanned everyone, her mouth twitching at the corners. “I’ve come here with an entirely different purpose. Seth is dying, and he’s asked me to allow that. I’m inclined to concede my plans to save his life.”
“You…you what?” Eloise unfurled her arms and her mouth dropped open. She stared at Joy, and while she did, she saw something so strange, she thought it was a trick of the light. Tears. “Oh, my God. You’re actually—”
“No,” Joy held up a finger. “You misunderstand. I am inclined to concede, but I’m only backing off. You can have your little party here and the minute Seth takes a turn for the worse, I expect you back.”
“So, nothing’s changed.” Eloise didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “You were going to bleed me dry! What makes you think I will ever go back with you?” Remembering Mason’s off-hand comment, she spun around. “And you. What agreement do you have with her?”
Mason opened his mouth, but Joy beat him to it. “If I leave the Compounders alone, he will leave me alone.”
“What about the people employed by you?”
Joy rotated her palms to the ceiling. “He let me keep them.”
Appalled, Eloise turned to Mason, who said, “She’d already ensnared them, and I couldn’t do anything about it, but she agreed to no more.”
“How long ago was your agreement?”
“Eight years.”
“Okay, so, I’m not going with you. I’ll never go back there. Seth has asked me to stay away and I’m going to honor his choice.”
“We can do the extractions here.”
Once again, everyone in the room tensed.
“I think I understand now.” Eloise’s anger made her fingers tremor and she flexed them. “You’re going to keep this a secret, prolonging the inevitable, to have your son alive? That’s messed up on so many levels.”
“I never alluded to it being a perfect plan.” Joy’s shoulders fell just enough for Eloise to see past the elegant façade. Then it faded. “But, considering the circumstances, it’s all I have. Eloise,” Joy took a few steps forward, “Seth has asked me to leave you alone for him. He’s my son. You know I will do anything to make him happy. I can promise to leave you alone, coming here to do extractions so Seth doesn’t know.”
“No.”
Joy blinked rapidly. “No?”
“If you truly love Seth,” Eloise narrowed her eyes, “you’ll leave me alone completely. No secret blood draws. No lying to that sweet, intelligent boy you are keeping locked up. He deserves better. I hate you so much, but I do believe you love Seth in your own misguided way. Prove to him you love him. Let him experience life. Focus on that and celebrate it. You owe him that.”
Expressions of anger, frustration, and remorse flashed across Joy’s face. She chewed on the inside of her lips, an audible huffing noise coming from her, then she narrowed her eyes at Eloise and extended her hand.
“Deal.”
Eloise took it, gave a shake, and Joy left the room. Eloise, Mason, and Soora stood in silence, not knowing what to do with the strange exit, until Eloise inhaled. “She’s not going to leave me alone.”
“I agree with you.” Mason watched Joy leave with an escort. “We’ve increased patrols in the area, so that should keep us, and her, busy. And even though we’re spread thin as is, I’ll order a small team to watch the facility. Any odd behavior will be reported directly to me.”
“Let me be on the team. I know the Sentinels as well as you do. I can watch Joy. She’ll never expect I’m right next door.”
Mason paused for a moment, his hands by his mouth, and slowly nodded. “That’s good. Yes. How many do you need?”
“Five. Seven at the most.”
“Stay back, Eloise. I know you want to see Joy in your rearview mirror, but don’t get carried away, and for God’s sake, don’t get cocky.”
The expression ‘see Joy in your rearview mirror’ was so odd to Eloise, she spent more time trying to figure it out than she did processing the rest of Mason’s sentence. It must’ve been some phrase from Before.
“Did you hear me?”
Eloise snapped back to the present. “Yes, sir. I mean, no.”
“Don’t get carried away. Don’t get cocky. Do you understand?”
“I do.” Eloise rubbed Soora’s arm before she turned to Mason. “Is that all?”
“Yes. Make sure your team is assembled and ready to go soon. How long do you need?”
“Just a week.”
“Good. Figure it out. Run anyone you aren’t sure of by me. We’ll be ready.”
***
Eloise stood at the edge of a dark store isle, the shelves knocked down or completely bare. She held a candle and a bag of yogurt covered blueberries she snagged before an older lady could get to it, and spun in a circle, trying to find an escape from the nightmare she knew was coming.
“I can’t be here.”
Blood from her hands dripped onto the smooth concrete.
It wasn’t hers.
Someone sat in the center of the isle, shrouded in darkness. Ada’s voice croaked out of her, then hissed through the air, the rise and fall of volume chilling Eloise
to the bone. “You failed him.”
Ada sat in a pool of blood that leaked out of her body and all over her clothes. Her hand rested on the ground. As she lifted it to touch the bullet holes, tendrils of thick, red liquid hung in the air between the floor and her fingers.
As Eloise took slow steps forward, she whispered back to her little sister, “I’m doing what he wants me to do.”
“You lie! You’re just a liar. All the lies, lies, lies.” Ada’s yell shot cold into her bones. Her face contorted with rage. “Why all the lying, Eloise? All you do is lie. His death is going to be your fault!”
“I was coming to save him,” Eloise said. She collapsed on the ground, the bag of yogurt covered blueberries breaking open and scattering across the floor into the blood, then she gasped for air, clutching her chest. “I was…But he…sent me a letter and—”
“Why didn’t you try harder? I can never forgive you for what you did!”
Every word stung deep into her core and made her flinch. She kept her head down, tears creating thick, wet lines down her cheeks.
“You’re not real. None of this is real. It’s all a dream,” Eloise chanted quietly, trying to focus on her words rather than listen to the nightmare that took Ada’s form. Her screams became otherworldly screeches and she stood, head rolling, hands gnarled, and shot through the air at Eloise.
“I hate you!”
She clutched her chest, screaming as Ada passed through her.
Someone lifted Eloise into their arms. Her mind had faded into black and she was alone, an invisible rope burning against her skin.
“Get the door.”
Soora.
Eloise wanted to wake up, to cry out, but her shoulders ached, and her mind remained trapped.
Her body touched a bed.
She heard a strange mumbling, as if Soora were speaking to someone, but Eloise’s ears were clogged as if underwater so all she heard were deep vibrations from a man’s voice.
