“Would you believe me if I told you we met at my job a few hours prior to the show? And how she had her face in my pussy after seven minutes of our meet and greet?”
P choked on his juice, having to put his food down and pat his chest to clear his airway.
“Bitch, what?”
Eris’ cheeks turned rosy-red as she forked some rice and salmon in her mouth.
“I swear. Like, I couldn’t believe it. She was on me, and even though I was a lil’ nervous and a bit skeptical at first, I was on her back.”
“I fucking see you, big dawg!” He was so extra, sticking his tongue out and looking her up and down before he grabbed his plate. “So y’all exchanged numbers, right?”
“Of course. She invited me to the show and told me to come chill with her.”
“That’s what made you change yo’ mind at the last minute. I knew it. So how’s that going?”
“It’s only been a week, but we’ve been talking and texting every day. She’s dope. I like her.”
“Shit with the way y’all was all over each other that night, I could tell.”
“Was it too obvious?” she panicked a bit.
“Bitch, duh. Now, I’mma say this, and I hope you don’t feel no type of way about it, but I kinda always sensed you moved like that.”
“That I liked women, too?”
He nodded his head in agreement.
“Yup. Way before that shit with you and Bucky happened. I just didn’t wanna offend you. It’s not easy for a lot of people to accept their sexuality, and I ain’t want no beef. You know if I liked women, you’d be my bitch.”
“Boy, shut up,” she giggled.
P joined her in laughter before he continued.
“You know I’m for real, but I hate that it took you four years to come to terms with it and be honest with me. No matter what, you know I ain’t gon’ judge you.”
“I know. It’s like…” Eris fiddled with the name necklace around her neck, trying to gather up the right words to say. “It’s a lot. You know how my big sister is about gays. I mean, you should hear the conversations she’ll get into. We love each other to death, but I know for a fact that…that conversation would do nothing but go left. It forced me to hold it in. I mean, being fat and liking women? Next to being Black, it’s the worst thing you can be in America, and I’m all three.”
“You know I hate the fat jokes and comments, so don’t even start with that shit. And two? If that’s who you are, that’s who you are. Don’t sacrifice yo’ happiness or yo’ peace of mind to keep yo’ mama and sister at bay. That’s lame as fuck, Er Bear.”
All of a sudden, her appetite had vanished. She’d always feared having this conversation.
“To be honest, P…” Eris looked him in the eye.
“Keep it a hunnid, mama. No boundaries with me.”
She smiled.
“Is it crazy for me to say, well, to admit that I don’t have it quite figured out for myself yet?”
“Let me ask you this first.” He sent a quick text message before saying, “How long have you known that you’ve liked girls? Since yo’ first sexual experience, ooooooor?”
“Since I was a little girl,” she confessed. “I mean, like…let me put it like this. In middle school, the world looked different to me. I was crushing on girls just as much as I was crushing on the guys. I found myself admiring all of the pretty girls and their features. At first, I thought it was a phase, but once I realized that I had a little crush on Bucky when I turned thirteen, that’s when I knew for sure—"
“That you liked girls,” he finished her sentence. “So, have you ever admitted that to her?”
“Nah. I always knew she wasn’t like that. Like, back in them days, we would get into it all the time because I was so damn territorial about her. I hated when she hung out with other people more than me. I would have a little attitude because I always knew that she didn’t fuck with me how I fucked with her, or felt how I felt. What thirteen-year-old girl wanted to lose her best friend from confessing that she liked her? So I pushed it to the back of my mind, but when we got intimate for the first time last year, the shit kinda clicked in my head like…”
“You still liked her.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, surprised by her honesty.
“My thing is though, the whole ordeal with you eating her pussy was all her idea. Didn’t you say she was the one who brought it up?”
Eris nodded her head yes as she covered up with her fleece blanket.
“It was her idea, and my nasty ass just went along with it because I’d always wanted to try it out. Plus, it was with her, so it felt safe. But then, she started with that whole, ‘I’mma catch feelings and we can’t do that,’ shit, so it stopped. That’s how I knew…”
“That it was just sexual with her, ‘cause no matter what, if you like somebody, then you like ‘em.”
“I can’t blame it all on her though. I can’t force somebody to like me or take it there with me if she really didn’t want it.”
“That ain’t stop her from getting her pussy ate how many more times after the first one? Right. Don’t try to justify the fact why she wasn’t eating yo’ pussy back. I know you’re a pleaser, but pleasers like pleasure too. If Bucky really wanted to eat you out, she would have. End of story.”
Eris grinned, shaking her head at P’s blunt honesty, but where was the lie?
“I mean, I wanted to though, P. And some of those times were initiated by me.”
“But she ain’t stop you. You was eating her pussy better than a lot of these niggas ever had, and she liked that shit. I know y’all still cool, and that’s still yo’ girl. No shade at all, but facts is facts, and I don’t like the fact that she continued to allow you to do it when she knew you felt that way about her—You bet not look me in my damn eyes and say Bucky ain’t know that you liked her after all this damn time. No matter how many times yo’ wannabe thug ass might’ve told her that it was just sex, you know you was fronting.”
“No, that’s not a hundred percent true.” Eris wasn’t going to let him get off like that. “Even after me and my BD broke up for good, all I’d ever dealt with was niggas who ain’t do shit but stick it and move, without eating my pussy or even kissing me. All except for one. So yes, I did get used to being in one-sided situationships. Yes, I did learn how to separate sex from my heart and sentiments. I played a part in it too, knowing I wanted more, but when you grow accustomed to shit, it’s like, why fight it? I drew the line when it became too much. Well, I agreed that us being sexual with one another should stop.”
P heard what his best friend was saying, and yes, even though she was right to a certain extent, he respected her for owning up to her faults and the role she played. But Bucky knew she was being selfish letting Eris eat her pussy when she knew she liked her, and he couldn’t stress that enough. He just wasn’t buying all that other shit Eris was talking. Bucky fucking knew, so she could shut the hell up with all that, she didn’t, shit.
“Let’s change the subject before you piss me off, ‘cause Bucky ain’t fucking innocent no matter how good you spin it or word it. I like Emery for you, though. My bitch is outgoing, she knows what she wants, and that shit damn near brought tears to my eyes watching y’all chill together, Er Bear. For as long as I’ve known you, I ain’t never seen you smile like that. Not even with yo’ baby daddy. The vibe was real, the chemistry was evenly yoked, and er’body in that building could see how into you she was. I know that might’ve been y’all first lil’ date and shit, but you know energy don’t lie.
She did for you what I ain’t never seen these fuck niggas do, and that was treat you right. Show you off, take care of you in her presence, admire you, et-fucking-cetera. You was with Royce for how long, and how many times can you count on one hand that he took you out or showed you that he appreciated you? If that nigga wasn’t paying the bills since y’all was staying together at one point, I would’ve been and whooped his ass. He just now showing y
ou the fucking respect you’ve always deserve because you let Brendan move with him.”
Eris was quiet.
She was a little sensitive thing when it came to her love life and her weight, so she couldn’t help it when the tears pooled in her eyes. She knew she’d been thirsty and foolish for love in the past and could only blame herself.
Paris drank the rest of his juice before he crawled over to his bestie. He pulled her close and laid her head on his chest as he stretched his arm across the back of the couch.
“You know I’m not judging you, faulting you, talking down on you, nor am I trying to purposely hurt you. You allowed mu’fuckas to walk all over you for way too damn long. You deserve better than a selfish ass bitch or a man who only gon’ have one foot in and one foot out to cover they own ass and just say fuck yo’ feelings. You deserve love too, best friend, and you gotta quit selling yo’ self short. You know for a fact that when it comes to any relationship, whether it’s mild, or IV deep, that if you gotta force it, it ain’t right. Live yo’ life. Have fun. Date these fine ass niggas. Date these pretty ass bitches, and let it flow. It’ll grow if it’s meant, and don’t be afraid to please yo’ self no matter what nan’ mufucka’ got to say. This yo’ fucking life, you hear me?”
Eris quickly wiped the lone tear away that managed to trickle down her cheek. He was absolutely right. Whether it was a man or a woman, she needed to fuck with somebody who fucked with her just as much in return. All that, keeping yourself locked down in a situation that wasn’t as beneficial to you as it was to others, was some bird bitch shit.
And Eris Costello was far from a bird.
“Thanks, P.” She looked up and kissed his cheek. “I really needed that.”
Some people hated how close they were, but gay or not, he’d do twenty-five-to-life behind this one, and so would she.
“You know I got you, mama. Mufuckas is gon’ treat my bitch right, or else we gon’ have some fucking problems, you hear me?”
Eris giggled as she sat up for a second to reach for her phone that was vibrating along the coffee table. Just as she grabbed it, the front door to P’s house opened and in walked Bali. He had a bunch of bags in hand with fabric and material for his latest project.
“Wassup, B?” Eris greeted with a smile.
“Wassup, sexy? Wassup, boo? How y’all doing? Me? I’m tired as fuck and I’m starving.”
P joined his extra ass in laughter before saying, “I grabbed you something from Crazy Bowls & Wraps, fool.”
“I was thinking something more on the lines of a cock sandwich, but I can go for that too.”
“Ooooooh, my God.”
He had Eris cracking the hell up.
As the two lovebirds exchanged kisses, she unlocked her phone and got butterflies from her new message.
E. Binx *Purple heart emoji*: Wassup, mama? Sorry for the late reply. I just made it in for the night. How was your day?”
Eri *Yellow heart emoji, kissy-face*: Hey, you. It's cool. I’m about to be headed home, myself. My day was okay. Wbu?
E. Binx: That’s wassup. It’s better now that I can chop it up with you. So check it. I’ll be in town again the day before the holiday, and I was wondering if you would like to be my valentine? LOL! Lbs.
Eris couldn’t hide her smile. She’d never had a valentine before and never had she been asked nor celebrated the holiday. Not unless it was with her sister and parents. Eris had no clue what it was that she did to Emery, but their vibe swooned her in a gust of butterflies.
She reacted to the message and loved it before replying.
Eri: Only if you’ll be mine back. *kitty cat with the cartoon heart-eyes emoji*
E. Binx: Bet! I’ve got a little something planned too. And to keep it 100, I miss you. You’re dope company, and I like the way you wrap your arms around me. Lol. I wanna see you. Now! Can I FT you? I was gonna do it anyway. You know me. *Laughing emoji*
Eri: LOL! I miss you too. And your kisses. Scout’s honor. I’m like, 30 minutes away from the house. I’ll call you as soon as I make it in.
E. Binx: You better!
Eri: *wink face*
*SITM*
Winter in St. Louis was a bitch. Eris couldn’t pull into her garage fast enough and run in the house. After putting the alarm on, she turned the heat up to 77 and started removing the layers of her outerwear.
It felt good to own her own home. Going on three years now, 5851 Des Peres was officially the first thing she could call hers. One more year on her Kia Stinger, and she’d own that bad boy too.
Graduation was in May.
She’d be off to Greece in July with her bestie.
Egypt in December with her son.
And, she had a valentine this year.
Things were looking pretty damn good for Ms. Costello, and she was proud of her accomplishments.
Thoughts of Emery had her stomach in her back as she opened her laptop. She’d give her a call as soon as she was done putting the finishing touches on this book cover for one of her loyal customers.
Eri’s love for reading is what piqued her interest in graphic design. She was Facebook friends with all of her favorite authors and made the bulk of her money as a GD in the African American Urban Fiction/Urban Romance world. It was one thing to buy all of your fav’s books, but when they started hitting her up to bring their imaginations together on a cover page, it was like a dream come true.
It took her no time to become a face in the literary industry. There was a time where Eris was working Monday-Friday at First Community Bank, doing evenings at Nordstrom, and was going to school full-time online to make sure her finances were set. Shit was rough, but when her clientele started picking up, there was no need for both jobs.
She was truly blessed.
The moment she hit send after finishing her project, she grabbed her phone and called Em, hoping she hadn’t fallen asleep.
“I literally was about to call yo’ ass. That was the longest thirty minutes I’ve ever heard of,” was Emery’s greeting once their call connected.
Eris adjusted the glasses on her face while joining her boo in laughter.
“That’s my fault. I had to send out these covers. I’ve been so booked up that I had to shut my website down for a little minute.”
“Get that money, baby. I ain’t mad at you. Yo’ shit be dope too. How’s the weather there?”
“Ugh, cold as fuck. I’m jealous about y’all seventy-eighty degree forecast.”
“I know, right? I’mma miss it. That’s one of the best things about living here besides the networking and opportunities.”
“You’re moving back?”
Eris grabbed her 16’ MacBook Pro and cut out the living room lights before taking the stairs up to her bedroom.
“Yup. It’s bittersweet, but I’ll do anything for my peace.”
“I feel you on that. One hundred percent.”
Emery ran her free hand through her hair as she watched Eris rummage around her room. She couldn’t believe how bad she missed and wanted to see her. Their time together at Nordstrom and the fashion show had swamped her thoughts all week. It was something about the way the fire blazed when they vibed together. Eris wasn’t the only one tapping into sentiments that she hadn’t felt in years.
“Let me see your outfit,” Emery asked, recognizing the Gswuoo sleeper.
Moments later, the camera was flipped around, and Eris stood in front of her ten-foot tall, bedazzled mirror, exposing the way the pinstriped fabric hugged her curves.
“Oooo, I’m jelly. I definitely have to get this plus-sized line out. A-muthafucking-sap! That’s fire. You wearing that shit.”
Eris looked into the phone and smiled at her boo thang. Em was laying supine in bed with a blanket covering her chest. She could tell she didn’t have any clothes on due to the skin that was showing.
“Thanks. I had Bali add some feet to it because I always lose my socks at night.”
“It’s fire. He did that. Make su
re you text me your address and your measurements/sizes. I’mma hook you up with a care package Ivy Park style, and I’m not taking no for an answer. I can’t wait to see you rocking my threads.”
The way that last sentence rolled off her tongue sent a chill down Eris’ spine. She honestly didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to react. It was a bit embarrassing to admit that she was twenty-seven years old and had never experienced this type if engagement…this type of excitement until she met Em.
“You ain’t gotta be shy with me, Eri. Say what’s on your mind.”
Emery was so pushy. That shit turned Eris on.
“I’m thinking about getting out of this bra so I can relax.”
What?
She said to speak her mind and that was the truth!
Well, part of the truth.
“Now, you know I wanna see, so gon’ head and call me from your laptop.”
Eris did as she was told then presumed to pull the onesie from around her shoulders until her baby-blue laced bra was showing.
“No bullshit, your frame drives me in-fucking-sane. I’m not even on no sexual shit. I just wanna see you looking sexy. Take the onesie off too.”
Her facial expression displayed one thing, but her actions said another. Eris stood in front of her computer in a matching, seamless thong showing off her weight loss progress. Her ass sat up like a stallion as she turned her back to the camera, exposing the beautiful tattoo that stretched up and down her spine, and the pair of red lips tattooed on her left ass cheek.
“Okay, sexy! Real shit. I’mma need you to model my new shit for me.”
“Okay, Em,” Eris countered with a bright smile.
She so damn silly.
“See, you think I’m playing and I’m dead ass serious, Eri. Don’t play coy wit’ me. You can’t pick and choose when you wanna own yo’ sexy. That’s a human suit that you gotta rock twenty-four/seven, and I’m not gon’ say that shit to you again.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she playfully saluted while taking a toke from the blunt she just lit.
“Alright, now. Let me see you talk that same shit when I make it back in town. Pull the rest of your sexy shit out. Put on a show for me, and what’s that track you vibing to? I like that.”
Sweet in the Middle Page 4
