I grin tauntingly. “Would you like to do something a bit … easier?”
He pulls up the sleeves of his sweater and reaches for a knife and I am left just staring after him still wondering if I am dreaming. When did we become lovers who could tease each other? He notes my surprise, and stops over to kiss me. It is a slow, sweet job that shoots a painful ache of pleasure straight to my core.
Poor Brand. Tears pour down his eyes, but he won’t give up. He places a bowl of chopped onions in front of me. “What next?”
I get him to measure out the ingredients for my pancake batter and we settle into an efficient partnership. It is when I’m behind the counter, whisking the bowl of eggs that Brand comes behind me. With his hands on my hips he presses my ass into his groin. He is aroused, painfully so, and so am I. I slowly grind myself against him as his lips drag kisses along the side of my neck.
Vaguely I note that I’m losing the steady rhythm with the whisk, but as he continues I don’t even realize when it falls to the ground. Brand ignores it also. Slipping his hands into my shirt he takes hold of my breasts. By now my breathing is labored. I spread my legs apart and he slips his hand between my thighs and runs his fingers along my already soaking wet slit.
“No underwear?” he asks.
“Uh … I didn’t think it would be necessary.”
“Great call.”
Reaching behind me I undo his slacks and he caresses my pussy in rapid circular motions. I have to say, he gets me off in record time. Before I can recover fully I feel the hard thick head of his cock nudging at the lips of my sex.
A wild giggle escapes my lips as he strokes it against me. My back is already arched and ready so the moment he slams the thick shaft into me my grip on the edge of the counter is the only thing holding me up. With a hand under my thigh, he gently lifts my leg up, then begins to drill into me.
He moves in a fast, hard rhythm I have trouble keeping up with. Hell, he fucks me till I am nearly crippled. We come together. My scream echoes loudly around the still room.
Brand tucks his dick back into his trousers. “Order in?” he asks.
I shrug and nod.
Chapter Forty-Four
Brand
My eyes are supposed to be on my accountant’s reports before me, but the chair is angled just enough that I have a decent view of Liliana lying on the couch lost in a book.
Her presence calms me. I look forward to it. I look at her now and I feel no anger. When I hear her turn a page I am unable to stop myself from turning to watch her. I cannot stop watching her … and wanting her.
But my heart is troubled.
I know it will be war with her father. There is no way he is going to roll over and let me keep her. I don’t know how I will find a solution to this problem. I don’t want to hurt him because I know it will hurt her and I don’t want to hurt her or risk losing her again. But if I don’t destroy him, he will destroy me. I used to hate him so much. I was angry with him.
I’ve been angry for so long. There was so much to be angry at, and for a very long while that pain and anger was all I had. It kept me strong. It motivated me, but for now, just in these few days, I do not want to be angry. I want to enjoy the surprising peace and wholeness that I find with Liliana.
I always wondered why I could never let her go, why I could never get her off my mind. I was sure it was at my need to avenge my parents, but perhaps that was just a tiny bit of it. Perhaps there was more that the world wanted to pull my attention to.
Perhaps it is because she and I share the same soul. We are like two pieces that cannot be parted.
She looks up from her book and it’s too late for me to look away. I am caught red-handed, staring at her like a lovesick fool. But she stares right back. Then softly, kindly, she smiles at me, and I feel my chest tighten so much that it is hard to breathe.
Chapter Forty-Five
Liliana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts
It is our first date together. I stand in front of Brand in my dress and make up. He stares at me as if he can’t believe his eyes.
I smile up at him. He is dressed like a Mafia don, in a black silk shirt and black trousers. I like that he looks so dangerous and dark, but one day, I will throw away all his black silk shirts. One day he will be totally legit, like my father and all my uncles. My father used to say only a fool or a man without choices would be a criminal longer than he needed to because in the end all criminals end up behind bars if they don’t come to a nasty end before that.
“Well what do you think?” I ask, twirling around.
“You look beautiful,” he breathes.
“Are you sure I’ve got enough blusher on?”
“You don’t need any more color.” Amusement makes his eyes twinkle. “But if you do I’ll just finger you under the table. Your entire face will turn pink.”
“Promises, promises.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You think I won’t do it.”
I wrinkle my nose. “I’m counting on you to do it.”
We get into his SUV. Mark is driving, but it is too quiet between us. I am usually quite talkative, but between us silence usually means that unquiet thoughts have taken control.
I look down to see his hand resting on the seat so I place mine softly on his. Moving closer to him I nibble along his jawline. It has two effects. It makes him smile, and it brings Mark’s surprised gaze through the rearview mirror. He immediately returns his eye to the road while I return mine to Brand who slips his hand around my waist to pull me closer.
I lean up to whisper into his ear. “Will Mark mind if we have a quick rehearsal of what you intend to do to me at the restaurant?”
His laughter fills the car in an instant. Brand places a soft kiss on my forehead and it warms me all over. “He might not, but I very much will.”
The restaurant is in the city and we have to drive out for almost an hour to get to it. It is a private club. Very expensive and very snooty. The walls seem to be carved out in gold moldings and accentuated by cupids and murals and the chairs are a striking electric blue. The entire room is candle lit, and combined with the low chatter of other patrons and with its soft warmth, it is the perfect setting for a romantic dinner.
We are seated opposite each other, but the arrangement is quite regal, so we are not as close to each other as I’d hoped. The moment the waiter takes his leave with our order, I lightly kick Brand’s legs under the table.
“You made me a promise,” I complain.
His smile is torturously suggestive. “Oh, don’t worry. I'll take you somewhere after this.” The glint in his eyes and the promise are more than enough to take me through our dinner.
The waiters bring little teaser foods topped with feather soft cream. I take the liberty of tapping a dot on Brand’s nose. His smile lights up the whole room. Before he can clean it off I stop him and rise to my feet.
It would be too much of a stretch to lean over and take it off the way I want to so I rise with the excuse of going to the Ladies. I circle the table and lean down as though I want to whisper into his ear. My lips cover the tip of his nose for a brief second before I scurry away.
His laughter accompanies me as I make my way towards the bathroom.
Chapter Forty-Six
Brand
There is no one watching Liliana ... and she is fully aware of this.
There is still a smile on my face as I follow her progress towards the toilets, her velvety, high-slit dress hugging every curve of her beautiful body, until she disappears out of sight.
Then I look down at my hand. It is tightly clenched. How much of her heart is truly mine? Why I should feel anxious is beyond me? She could have run away that night with Pierre. She didn’t. I watch the hallway leading to the bathroom, intently, waiting ... and too afraid to think of the possibility that she has made a fool of me. Like she did before.
The seconds tick away and then the minutes.
I await Liliana
with a kind of sick dread ... and every person that emerges from the shadows of the hallways brings hope to my heart until it is revealed that she is not the one.
My gaze turns towards the view beyond of the hills above the Côte d’Azur. I don’t know why I brought her here. It was a stupid idea. All she has to do is get out of the front door and slip into a Metro. The nearest metro is like fifty meters away from this restaurant. I think of her laughing. I think of us in bed. Her skin warm and soft. Suddenly, I can bear it no more. I can’t let her go. I stand and a waiter appears at my side to ask if there is anything wrong. Ignoring him I take a step forward. My mouth feels dry. I miscalculated.
Then I see her coming towards me.
My mouth opens and air rushes out of it. She comes up to me, a frown on her face. “What’s the matter? You look pale.”
I shake my head. “Nothing is the matter.”
I watch as Liliana takes her seat in front of me, a strained smile on her face. “Are you sure you are all right?”
I pick up my glass of Irish whisky and knock it back.
She returned. She returned to me.
The food arrives with a great deal of fuss and fanfare.
“Bon appetite,” I say.
She tucks her hair behind her ears nervously and picks up her fork.
“We’re returning tomorrow,” I say to her.
All we hear is the clinking of cutleries in the background and the low buzz of chatter from the other dining couples in the restaurant.
She puts her fork down, picks up her glass of wine, and takes a large swallow. “Okay. How are we going to be when we return?”
“I don’t know, Liliana.”
“What is going to happen when we get back?”
Until that moment, my heart was undecided. But as I look at her my response comes. “I don’t know what is going to happen, but I can’t let you go.”
Tears shimmer in her eyes. “You have to let me go back to my father and talk to him. That is the only way this will work.”
“I can’t take the chance. You are mine now. I don’t recognize his authority over you.”
“Please. You have to let me go to my family. My father loves me. He wants me to be happy.”
“Yeah, like he did when he fired my dad just because I kissed you?” I ask coldly.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Liliana
He doesn’t take me to a place where he had promised to make me climax under a table. Instead we go back to the farmhouse and sit at the kitchen table. As long as I live I will never forget this night. Under the overhead lamp his face is craggy and his eyes bleak. We drink whisky straight from the bottle and we talk.
Ah, how we talk.
There is so much to say. So much to know. Sometimes there are tears in our eyes. He finds out I think gray pitt bulls are absolutely adorable and I find out about the brutality of men in grand stately homes. It makes my hands tremble with fury and my heart break for that dark-haired proud boy who kissed me. How dare they do that to a kid? As he talks about them the rage comes back.
“I saw one of them in the newspapers once. Lord Hetherington was apparently a respected member of the House of Lords and a very eminent judge who believed the age of consent should be reduced. I heard he cried and sniveled like a fucking coward for a very long time before he died.”
I don’t blame him for executing the judge. I would have done it myself. People like that shouldn’t exist. Who knows how many other boys have been taken, abused, and murdered?
I take sips from the bottle and he takes gulps. By the time we are halfway down the second bottle he is very drunk. I want to tell him I love him, but the words stick in my throat. Love seems like such a tame word. I mean, I love ice cream, but what I feel for Brand is like the ocean, wide, deep, endless, unfathomable. After everything that has happened between us I would go to the ends of the earth for him, give up my life for him.
I watch as his movements become relaxed, his speech slurring slightly, and his head starts to droop.
“Should we go to bed?” I ask.
He looks up at me. “I’m not letting you go, Liliana.”
“I know. I don’t want you to let me go.”
“Just so you know. I’ll die before I fuckin’ give you up.”
“Nobody is going to die,” I say firmly.
He looks sad and lost. “I’m afraid you don’t know your father very well. You might have to choose between him and me.”
I stand so suddenly the wooden chair crashes to the stone floor. “Don’t say that. My father will never do anything to hurt me. If he hurts you he hurts me. And I know you will never hurt him because if you hurt him you hurt me.”
“There is too much water under the bridge now for that. Too much hatred.”
“Forgive me,” I say. “Forgive my father, and most importantly forgive yourself. That is the only way any of us can move beyond this.”
“Until I took you as my pawn I could blame you. Pretend it was all your fault, but now that Band Aid has been ripped off. The cancer was me. It was my fault all along. I caused it all.” He pauses before crying out in anguish. “I can’t forgive myself.”
“Until when?” I ask passionately. “Until when will you think this way? Until something happens to me, or to my father? Or until something happens to you, and you look back to regret why you were so unmerciful to yourself you never allowed yourself to be happy. That you never set yourself free. How would your parents feel watching all of this?”
His eyes darken, and his face becomes chillingly cold suddenly. “Don’t mention them.”
“I’m sorry,” I say instantly. The last thing I want to do is push him away.
He looks exhausted and pale suddenly. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault. Let’s go to bed, Princess.”
We stagger upstairs. There is a full moon outside and with the snow on the ground his bedroom is full of blue light. He lands on the bed on his back and I begin to undress him.
“Are we going to fuck?” he asks.
I chuckle. “Somehow I don’t think so.”
“Why? Don’t you want to?”
“Um … you might have trouble getting it up.”
“I never have trouble getting it up, Princess. Not where you’re concerned,” he replies, but his eyelids are already closing. Gently, I take off his shirt and his trousers. It is while I am undressing him that I see the tattoo I had seen it before. A knife with an intricately carved handle, but what I had not noticed previously were the letters on the blade.
Liliana
I run my fingers along my name. His skin is silky and warm. I feel tears blur my eyes. Oh, how he has suffered because of one careless action. All sensations of sleep have disappeared so I pull a chair by his side and I sit by him. I have never watched someone have a more troubled sleep. His movements thoroughly restless as though no position seems good enough, while his breathing pattern is continuously irregular, as though he is either fighting dragons in his dreams, or he’s just tormented. His face is constantly frowning and sometimes he makes little sounds. Once he calls my name.
My heart twists as I watch him, and although I do not want to wake him up, I cannot just sit by and watch any longer. Rising from the chair I get into bed with him. I spoon him with my front to his back and placing my hand on his heart I rest my cheek in the crook of his neck.
That is when I hear him take his first deep breath. As the minutes pass he falls in a deeper slumber. A proper one where he stops moving restlessly, his breathing becomes even, and he turns only once to pull me into his arms. It makes me certain that he can sense my presence.
He wraps his hand around me and like a child I lay my head against his chest. We fall asleep that way. I’m awakened a few hours later, by Brand untangling himself from me. The moment I open my eyes I see him staring around, disoriented, wondering at his position.
“What is it?” I whisper.
“I don’t know. I think something is w
rong.”
“It’s okay. It’s nothing,” I say, just as the sound of something crashing to the floor downstairs tears through the still air.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Liliana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL0bxewHbjo
Now we are Free
I freeze, but Brand jackknives out of bed and starts putting on his pants. His eyes are astonishingly shiny and alert. His cellphone starts to vibrate. He immediately picks it up. In the deathly silence I can hear Mark’s voice come through, rapid and tense.
“We are being attacked. Eden is here.”
“How many down?” Brand barks as he takes out his gun.
“I don’t know, but Khalid is out,” Mark says.
“I’m coming,” he says and kills the line. He turns to me. I’m so shocked I have not moved an inch. “Stay here. Whatever happens don’t come out.”
I sit up. “No, wait, Brand.”
“I mean it, Liliana. This is between me and your dad. Don’t come out.” He starts walking away and all I can do is just stare at his naked back. At the door he turns back and looks at me. Then he says the words that electrify me. “I love you, Liliana. I always have and I always will. If I never see you again, remember that.”
Then he is gone. I jump out of bed and run to the door just as he locks it from outside. Instead of trying to bang it I run to the window. There is a tree branch close to the window and it looks like it could handle my weight. Without thinking of the consequences or looking down at the ground below I get on the branch. I exhale and my breath becomes clouds of mist in front of me.
It is freezing cold, but like a little monkey I quickly climb down the tree and get to the front door. It is wide open. As I get to the hallway I see my Dad. He has a gun pointed at Brand and Brand has his gun trained on Dad.
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