“You’re doing the right thing.”
“Am I?” I tossed Phoebe the rest of the meat, and she snapped her jaws closed over the bone, breaking it into pieces. “The fact they’re being targeted can’t exactly be breaking news.” I repeated the phrase meant to ease my guilt. “They know what they signed up for.”
“You’ll save lives by putting them on alert.”
“They should already be on alert.”
“What’s really bothering you?”
I got the feeling he was handling me now the way I handled Santiago last night, but it worked.
“Conquest knows what she’s doing. She could handle the strategic points without so much emotion getting in the way.” I rubbed my wind-chapped palms down my face. “People are dying. They’re being picked off. I know it’s not my fault. I know they wanted to join the fight. But they have this stupid idea of who I am that makes them think dying is worth it to support me.”
“Luce, the pain you feel over every life lost in your name is what sets you apart.”
“I hate this.” I anchored my hands on my hips. “I feel like the baby King Solomon ordered cut in half.”
“I’m not as familiar with Christianity as you, but that seems extreme.”
“Two women were fighting over a child. Both claimed to be its mother. The king ordered the child cut in two so each woman could have a half. One said go ahead. Basically, if she couldn’t have it, no one could. The other said she would rather give up the baby than have it killed. That’s how he determined the real mother.”
“It’s been my experience that when the stakes are this high, if you feel torn, if you worry you’re not doing it right, if you worry you’re not doing enough, then you’re on the right path.”
“Conquest —”
“— wouldn’t blink when her allies were murdered. She wouldn’t take breaks to rest her coterie, either. She would demand Kapoor hunt until he produced Ezra, or she would kill him for wasting her time. You can’t compare yourself to her. She’s the same as every other Conquest before her, and you see how well their methods have worked up to this point.”
“They haven’t,” I grumbled reluctant agreement. “I know it in my head.” I pounded a fist over my chest. “It’s my heart that’s giving me fits.”
“It’s your heart that’s going to win this.”
“Or cost us everything.”
“You’ve got to have faith.”
“I’m still not on speaking terms with God. He let me down, and I haven’t decided if he deserves a second chance yet.”
“I meant faith in yourself.”
“Oh.”
“Is it really easier to place your trust in a being you have never seen than in the face in the mirror?”
“Yes. A thousand times yes. A hundred thousand times yes.”
Fed up with being ignored, Phoebe leapt from Cole’s shoulder onto mine.
“We can play fetch.” I scratched under her chin. “With a stick, though. No more chicken bones.”
“She can digest them, and they’re more nutritious than sticks.”
“Daddy is spoiling you rotten,” I cooed at her. “He probably has a drumstick in his pocket.”
“It’s a thigh,” he confirmed. “It’s best if we travel with snacks.”
“Mmm-hmm. I wouldn’t want her to eat all the cats between here and wherever we’re headed.”
Wu, who refused to leave Kapoor’s side while he remained lost to his tracking fugue, waved me over to join them.
“Looks like you guys will have to play fetch.” I passed Phoebe back to Cole. “I’m being summoned.”
Wu took his time updating me, as if the information cost him. “I have an idea of where we’re going.”
“That’s good news. A location would cut down on our travel time.”
“Kapoor can’t deviate. He has to follow the trail to its end.”
“Okay, that’s less good.”
“You and the others go ahead,” he offered. “I’ll stay with him.”
Letting Wu out of my sight wasn’t happening. I stood a greater chance of surviving his machinations with him around to buffer me.
“There might come a time when I have to take you up on that offer. For now, we stick together.”
“All right.”
The fight was draining out of Wu right before my eyes, and the fun hadn’t even started yet. Maybe this close to confronting his father, to ending it, he regretted the cost of freedom being his mortality. Well, he could join the club. I didn’t have much empathy left for him. He set us on this path, and he had no right to drag his feet if he expected me to jump into a suicide pact with both of mine.
“Have you eaten?” I tried for levity. “Or are you morally opposed to eating winged relatives of yours?”
The smile he attempted was a pitiful thing that ended before it began.
“Come on.” I took him by the arm, and the warmth in my palm told me our connection was strengthening, more confirmation the bangles were weakening. “You and Kapoor have to replenish the calories you burn during flight.”
Kapoor trailed after Wu, his eyes blank and dark. His presence at my back caused the hairs on my nape to stand on end. It was easy to forget what Kapoor had been when most of the time he resembled every other harried agent scooped out of the field and dumped behind a desk for the sake of what the higher-ups called a promotion.
“There have been more attacks,” I told him when he didn’t appear interested in chitchat.
“It’s to be expected.”
“You know Malakhim strategy. Do you think they’re responsible?”
“No.” His eyes cleared as he thought it over. “They’re apex predators, not ambush predators.”
Ambush predator. I remembered thinking that about Death when she sneaked up on War and killed her. It made me recall who else had witnessed that end, had schemed to bring it about, and growled, “Sariah.”
Wu held very still. “You think she’s picking off your allies?”
“She wants to be the next War. This seems like a very War thing to do.”
“Where’s the gain?” He frowned. “Killing you won’t earn her a title, and it won’t help her situation. Why pick a fight with you?”
“Do you think she was telling the truth about taking orders from Ezra?”
“He would have killed her for the impertinence of engaging with him as if they were equals.”
“This complicates things.” These days, waking up in the morning complicated things. “Kapoor is convinced he committed the murders, and the evidence suggests he’s guilty, but he also believed the victims were Malakhim. What else might he be confused about?”
“Do you think Sariah framed him?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Kapoor might have been caught up in a delusion, stumbled across the Onca massacre, and his brain filled in the blanks once his thoughts cleared.”
For all we knew, he had been hacking up corpses, convinced they were Malakhim invaders. Or he could have spotted them, swooped down to investigate, and gotten blood on his hands when he checked their pulses. With Kapoor so far gone, there was no way to know what was true.
A chill swept through me when I checked on Kapoor, who had sat and began eating mechanically. “I set him on this path.”
A path he couldn’t deviate from, according to Wu. Kapoor wouldn’t stop until he found Ezra. Back when I thought he wore the blood of innocents on his hands, I deemed his life in trade for theirs fair. Now I had to wonder if I hadn’t condemned him unjustly.
This was a prime example of why I missed being a cop. I enjoyed apprehending bad guys, and I enjoyed dumping them in jail, which made them someone else’s problem, even more. I made life or death judgement calls in the field, true enough. But the rest of the time? Lawyers, judges, and juries fought it out to determine innocence or guilt.
“You made the best decision based on the information you had at the time.”
�
��Did I?” I had to glance away from Kapoor. “Or was I engineering the solution I wanted?”
“You can’t second-guess yourself.” He gathered his wits, appearing more present in this moment than he had in days. “Trying to outthink yourself is the worst thing you can do.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s her.” I shook my wrists. “They’re failing. How much longer until they can’t hold her back? We’re racing so many clocks, but this is the one I hear ticking loudest.” Worry that I had manipulated Kapoor into this situation gnawed on me. “We need to find Ezra while I’m still myself. We need to end this before Conquest gets a say in the matter. She’s not going to sacrifice herself for this world or anyone in it.”
Wu slowed until we both came to a stop. “I’m sorry, Luce.”
“You’re a liar, Wu.” I gave him the smile he deserved. Sharp, hard, pitiless. “You wanted revenge, and you’ll get it. That’s fine. You deserve it. But I’m getting what I want too, and that’s for my people to be safe after I’m gone. For this world to be free once I’m no longer in it.”
“You’ll have it,” he said quietly. “I swear it.”
“Again,” I reminded him. “You’re a liar. I can’t take your word at face value. All I can do is pray that if you loved your wife as much as you claim, if your descendants are as important to you as they seem, that you’ll want to preserve this world for them too. If not for their sake, for hers.”
“I deserve your anger.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I should never have let you reunite with your coterie.”
I blinked at the change of topic. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Slowly, slowly, Wu cupped my cheek. “I could have made you fall in love with me.”
The truth, that I had been halfway there since puberty, made denying the claim impossible. I had been fascinated with Ezra. He had been my savior. He was the one link to my otherness, and I cherished him. I would have done anything, gone anywhere, to meet him just once. I had wanted to believe so very much, and I thought I would fit with him if he gave me half a chance.
I never wanted to be Wild Child Boudreau. I wanted to be normal, if not by human standards then by someone’s, but I was an anomaly in both worlds. Thanks to Wu.
Searching his face, I felt the dim echo of resonance between us. “Could you have loved me?”
Wu hesitated, and he dropped his hand. “Would it matter to you if I could? If I did?”
The truth hurt, but I had to tell him. “My heart belongs to Cole, from corner to corner. I might have fit you in there had you been honest with me sooner, but now? No. It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can say or do to change who I chose.”
“Then all is as it should be.”
He walked off, and I let him go. I stood there, staring after him, the imprint of his hand on my cheek still warm, and imagined how life might have been if he had revealed himself to me as Ezra before I received the call about Jane Doe.
All things considered, I ought to count my lucky stars Wu didn’t see to it I was raised to believe my sole purpose in life was sacrifice. He let me have the most normal, the most human upbringing anyone in my position could receive.
Cole’s hand landed on my shoulder. “Time to go.”
“What?” I jerked back, got my head on straight. “Sorry, I was woolgathering.”
“I could tell.” He massaged the knots aching near my spine. “You’ve been staring off into the distance for the last ten minutes.”
“I was reflecting on all the ways we might have ended up somewhere other than here.”
“Wu has feelings for you,” he stated matter-of-factly. “He’s not sure what they are or what they mean.”
“You think so?” I laughed. “I’m in no position to tell him.”
He made a thoughtful sound but didn’t elaborate.
“What does that mean?” I elbowed him and immediately regretted my life choices.
“You chose me.” He smiled a little, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I enjoy remembering that.”
“Good grief.” I walked off. “Boys.”
Phoebe, who had been flitting here and there, spotted me and landed on my head. She stuck out her forked tongue at her father in a show of female solidarity that made me teary. Or maybe my watery eyes were the result of straining my neck to hold a dragon upright. Sheesh. This kid was growing fast and getting heavy. Cole must be feeding her rocks behind my back.
Energy prickled along my spine, and a much larger version of her prowled up beside us. I set Phoebe on his back then climbed up and stuffed her down my shirt where she curled against my collarbone and let the neck of my shirt act as a sling to hold up her head.
And then we were off again, trailing Kapoor and Wu while the coterie tracked us from below.
Belly full of chicken, I almost dozed off. I would have if juggling Phoebe at these speeds and at this height wasn’t so dangerous. She might be a better flier than me, but she was still a baby, her wings so membranous and delicate the wind could shred them as fast as Cole flew.
With napping off the table, I kept watch on the horizon.
Night approached, and we ended another long day of flight. I was sunburned and sore, and Phoebe was showing her tail out of boredom. I was going to foist her off on her Uncle Santiago for the first leg of the journey tomorrow and see if that made a difference. I was imagining his horror at being asked to babysit, but they had an understanding. He put on cartoons, and she sat and behaved like an angel.
The trick only worked for him, which was unfair if you asked me.
An inquiring noise rumbled through Cole, and I searched for what had caught his eye.
Below us spread a hundred or so tents. From them poured a thousand charun sporting armor. They raised their axes overhead and roared loud enough for even my ears to catch their salute.
Speak of the devil, and he’ll appear.
Aunt Nancy used to say that all the time.
Well, thinking of Santiago was enough to summon his handiwork apparently. These must be new recruits he wanted us to vet while we were in the area. I couldn’t imagine any other reason for us to be crossing their path.
“Santiago has a way of ruining everything without even trying,” I grumbled, tired and ready for a long soak. “What is that?” I squinted down at the field. “There’s no way.” I swallowed. “Uh, Cole. That’s a catapult.” The dragon made a noise of agreement. “I hate to be an alarmist, but they’re loading it.” I started kicking him in the sides. “They’re aiming at us.”
That caught the dragon’s attention. Cole was used to gliding invisibly through the skies. It was a nifty trick, but not everyone here knew the same ones. Wu must have some way of concealing himself, but Kapoor? I had no idea. I was far from an expert at charun species, and I had never seen anyone like him.
A quick feint by Cole spared us a direct hit, but whatever they hurled at us exploded in a shower of colorful sparks overhead.
For an instant, one teeny second, I thought it might be fireworks to welcome us, and I was ready to laugh off my paranoia. But smoke from the display clogged my lungs and made my head feel weighted with marbles. I stuffed Phoebe down my shirt to spare her as best I could, but we had flown through the black cloud, and it clung to my skin, stinging worse than a jellyfish.
Worst of all, the dragon beneath me began to sway. At first, I thought it was my vision going wobbly, but no. Cole was as affected as me, and we were going down.
Nothing I did would stop this from happening, but I had to try.
“Phoebe, stay with your dad no matter what.” His odds of survival were about to be much higher than mine. “No funny business. This is serious.”
Gritting my teeth, I leapt off Cole’s back into open air and swallowed the scream rocketing up the back of my throat.
A chill skittered down my arms, Conquest’s survival instincts kicking in, and I changed in a burst of energy that consumed me from the inside o
ut, a transition unlike any I had experienced up until now.
Crimson flooded my vision, and my dragon heart pounded at the sight of my mate and offspring spiraling toward the earth. I let out a roar that challenged the skies and sped toward them, ignoring the ants scattering across the field below us with their wicked machines.
Thanks to playing tag with Phoebe, I was a stronger flyer than I had been, but Cole was a mature male dragon, and I had no illusions about how this would go. That didn’t stop me. It didn’t even slow me down.
Cole was managing a wicked fast glide rather than a plummet, but his wings trembled. Whatever they shot at us, it wasn’t wearing off him the way I was burning through its drowsy suggestion. Whether that was because I was Conquest, half human, or seconds from a coronary, I didn’t know.
A warning growl was all the heads-up I could give him before sliding under him the way he had once to correct my flight. Our bodies were long and sinuous, but our hindquarters were muscular. This wasn’t going to be easy.
Pumping my wings as hard as I could, I took on Cole’s weight and turned him out of his spiral into an even glide straight into the field below us. It made us sitting ducks, but that couldn’t be helped. This was the only way I could keep him and Phoebe alive.
The razor-sharp sting down my left wing caught me by surprise. At first, I didn’t understand. I thought I might have been struck by something launched at us from the ground. But then it got worse, red-hot pain searing through that side, stealing my breath. When I turned to examine the injury, I tasted bile rising up my very long throat.
I had torn my wing. There was a split ripping its way through the dead center, right where a reinforced ridge of cartilage helped it keep its shape. I didn’t remember childbirth, but I had to imagine it couldn’t be worse than this.
The ground rushed up at us, and I shut my eyes. It was all in God’s hands now.
Impact broke something in me. Maybe several things. The trail I was blazing through the field on my stomach began working the scales loose. When that protection failed, I started losing skin, but I could hear Cole’s indignant roar above me. Distantly, I made out Phoebe’s frantic trills.
End Game (The Foundling Series) Page 8
