Like the Seasons

by Tymber Dalton

  “We had a guy call in sick this morning. I was on my way out when I saw you.” Boyd didn’t miss how the man seemed to be sizing him up as he didn’t move his arm from around Ella’s shoulders. “And who is this?”

  “Believe it or not, Papa Tom, this is my father.”

  The double-take would have been funny in nearly any other context. “Your father?”

  “Yeah. I finally tracked him down a few weeks ago. He had no idea about me. Boyd Nyberg, this is Tom Mazzolli.”

  Boyd opted to stand and offered to shake hands with him. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

  The man’s grip tightened, his expression growing more than a little hard. “She could’ve used you a few years ago, when she lost Helen.”

  Boyd didn’t flinch, didn’t squeeze back, refused to blow his cool. “I know. She told me, and I feel horrible I wasn’t here for her. But I’m here for her now, and I swear I’m not going anywhere.”

  “He is, and he does,” Ella said. “Please, he’s a nice guy. If anyone’s the villain, it’s Mom’s parents. They never tried to track down his parents. It’s a lot more complicated than I ever knew.”

  Tom’s grip finally eased and then he released Boyd’s hand after a terse nod. “So where’ve you been?”

  “Florida. I’m trying to talk her into moving down there with me. She could easily find a nursing job, and she can live with me.”

  Another appraisal from the older man. “So what do you do?”

  “I’m the head of the planning department for Sarasota County.”

  “That sounds like a good job.”

  “It’s not bad. Help me talk her into this, please? I’ve offered to pay to move her and let her live with me as long as she needs to.”

  This time, the double-take was amusing. Tom focused on Ella, whom he still had his left arm around. “And you’re not home right now and packing…why?”

  She hugged him. “I’m…thinking about it.”

  Obviously she didn’t want to tell him her other news, so Boyd kept his mouth shut.

  Once Tom left them alone again and they were both seated, Boyd leaned in. “Why not tell him about the baby?”

  A playful smirk filled her face. “Because I have a feeling if I told him that, Dr. Doucherag would literally end up disappearing. I don’t mean Papa Tom’s mobbed up or anything like that, but he comes from a large family and has six brothers and over twenty sons and nephews, a family where someone like Rick would be made an example of.”

  The smirk faded. “And I still don’t know how the guy’s going to react. Maybe he’ll surprise me.”

  “But you’re not sure?”

  “Not even hopeful.”

  Chapter Eight

  Following breakfast, and after Boyd stopped at a grocery store to pick up flowers, Ella directed him to head west. The cemetery lay not far off a main highway, nestled in a mixed area of farmland, nature parks, and pastures.

  From the way she easily picked her path without hesitation, he knew she hadn’t been lying about how frequently she visited. When they reached Helen’s headstone, the wilted flowers tucked into the built-in vase there looked only a couple of days old.

  After settling on the ground in front of the headstone, Ella kissed her fingertips and stroked Helen’s name. “Hey, Mom. Look who I brought with me. I told you I found Dad.”

  She removed the old flowers and let Boyd unwrap and position the fresh ones. Then she emptied a bottle of water she’d also brought into the vase and wrapped the old flowers in the wrapping.

  Boyd sat next to Ella, his arm around her shoulders and relishing the feel of her leaning against him. It was finally…real.

  The logical part of his brain had accepted that Helen was dead, but there was no denying the cold granite with her name and the dates of her birth and death chiseled into it, along with something else.

  Helen Lily Stinton - Loving Mother

  She sniffled. “I sat here after everyone else left. Papa Tom tried to get me to leave and I couldn’t. I wanted to wait until after she was buried. I wanted to be alone. I needed to be…angry.”

  “Not at her.”

  “No. I know they say sometimes kids get angry at parents who die, but that wasn’t me no matter what the high school guidance counselor wanted to think. I was mad at the world, but not at Mom.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say, so he kept quiet.

  “Sometimes I’d come out here and wonder what it would have been like with you around. I’d get mad at you for not being here. I’d get mad at her parents for kicking her out. I’d hate the goddamned logging company for their driver being exhausted and making him drive one more load on sloppy roads, when he should have been in the hospital for the chest pains he’d been complaining about earlier.”

  “Chest pains?”

  “That’s why he jackknifed. He showed up at work with chest pains and when he talked about maybe going to the doctor, his supervisor told him if he didn’t drive that load, he’d fire him. So he drove it, his intention being to make it to the other end and then have them call him an ambulance. The chest pains got worse, and he was trying to pull over so he could call 911, but he misjudged where he was because of the fog. When he braked hard on the icy road, he skidded, and his cab caught the guardrail and he jackknifed.”

  “Did he die, too?”

  “No, he survived. Barely. But he was damn sure willing to testify against the logging company. Another reason they were willing to settle fast and pay out even faster.”

  “Jesus.”

  “I was in school when it happened. Papa Tom actually came to tell me himself. The Highway Patrol showed up at the restaurant when they didn’t find anyone at the apartment. I guess she had a paycheck in her purse, plus she was wearing a shirt with the restaurant’s logo, because she was on her way there to work a shift, so they did the math. It was almost the end of the school day, and he and the principal showed up in my class and I…”

  She needed a moment, reaching over to stroke the letters on the stone again. “I knew. I knew it was bad. Papa Tom was still wearing his work clothes, like you saw today, and I didn’t even ask what was going on. I just grabbed my stuff and practically ran out of there and to Papa Tom, and…”

  She wiped at her face. “I missed a week of school. Because of the circumstances, my teachers worked with me on getting work made up. Papa Tom’s attorney sat down with me and went through all her finances, which wasn’t much. She had no savings, was living paycheck-to-paycheck just about.

  “They worked together and taught me how to manage money and pay bills. Crash course. But at least once the insurance company and the logging company paid out, I didn’t have to worry how I was going to afford college. I still focused on keeping my grades up and applying for scholarships, though. I didn’t want to risk it. I figured if I could earn a scholarship, that was more money in savings.

  “I sat here one afternoon and swore to her I wouldn’t be stupid. That I’d work my ass off and make her proud.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Now look at me.”

  Boyd kissed the top of her head. “You’re not stupid. Stop saying that. Just like she wasn’t stupid when she asked me to…” He knew that was a dumb thing to say. “Things happen despite our best intentions. Just like the seasons turn and change, so do we. We do smart things, we do not-smart things, and sometimes we do both of those things thinking they’re the opposite of what they really turn out to be. And we go through periods of both, no matter what our best intentions.”

  “I wanted to make Mom proud of me.”

  “Who says you haven’t or aren’t?”

  “Who’s going to come put flowers on her grave and remember her?” she tearfully asked.

  He turned so he could wrap both his arms around her. “We’re going to remember her. Always. She’s not here anymore. Either she’s in Heaven or she’s reborn or she’s part of the cosmic energy, or whatever you believe. But she’s not here. I have to think she’d want you to be with the man who wan
ts to be your father, and who loves you and wants to be a part of your life and his grandbaby’s life.”

  She sobbed, clutching at him, the sound shredding his soul as he held her, rocked her, tried to soothe the pain he knew would forever lay wedged deep inside her psyche. And as clouds blew across the sun, a cool breeze shifted into place, reminding him of how quickly life could change, even faster than the seasons.

  * * * *

  “How’s it going, Sir?”

  Boyd sat on Ella’s couch. They’d left the cemetery with Ella raw and broken and exhausted, but Ella had wanted to take him to see the Pacific, a beach-side park, one of their favorite places they’d used to visit on the rare occasions Helen could take an afternoon off. Neither of them had felt like having lunch. Then, after a quick stop at the grocery store, they’d returned to the apartment and now Ella was taking a nap before dinner, at his suggestion.

  “Today was rough. I’m not even going to try to sugar-coat it.”

  “What happened?”

  “She took me to Helen’s grave, for starters.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry I’m not there for you, Sir.”

  “No apologies.” Boyd closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead and hoping the headache didn’t take off into a full-blown migraine at this rate. “It’s something she and I have to get through together. It’ll be okay. She’ll be okay.”

  He’d taken a couple of pictures of the gravestone before they’d left. It was a piss-poor substitute, but he’d wanted…something.

  They had also taken a few selfies at the ocean, both of them managing smiles that looked real enough, and another tourist had taken pictures of them together, the ocean in the background.

  Memories he’d cherish with her.

  “Is she going to move? Did she decide yet?”

  “I think she will. It’s the timing I don’t know yet. I’m trying to talk her into moving now instead of waiting, but I understand her reasons. It’ll all depend on how our talk with the baby’s father goes Monday.”

  “Monday?”

  “Yeah. She’s off until Tuesday, and he’s not on duty until Monday. We’re going to have him meet us at a coffee shop by the hospital.”

  “God, I wish I was out there with you, Sir.”

  “I’ve got this.” But his heart swelled.

  As much as this whole situation sucked in general, one thing shone bright and sweet and true above all else—Caleb really loved him and was all-in on their relationship.

  “But I’m supposed to be there to back you up.”

  “You’ll be my eyes and ears at work this week to back me up there. Unofficially.”

  Caleb laughed. “I feel like a spy.”

  “Kinda are, in a way.”

  They talked for a few more minutes before Boyd ended the call. He was still…processing everything. He used the alone time to post pictures he’d taken of them and of the landscape to Facebook, including his favorite selfie of the two of them so far, along with a caption.

  Me and my daughter!

  Even staring at the pictures, it almost didn’t feel real.

  When Ella emerged from her nap about an hour later, they sat and talked some more before cooking dinner together.

  “If I move,” she said, not looking at him, “I probably would have to live with you, at least for a while. That wouldn’t put a crimp in your privacy? You and Caleb?”

  “It doesn’t matter. He knows this is important, and he’s all-in.”

  She nodded but didn’t reply, and eventually started asking him questions about his parents.

  Don’t push.

  Maybe once Caleb joined them next Friday she would be able to see for herself that it was the right decision, to move to be with them.

  Meanwhile, all he could do was hope.

  And pray.

  Chapter Nine

  Boyd could see in many ways, beyond appearance, how Ella was just like him.

  Including stubborn.

  “I still don’t think this is a good idea,” she said Monday in her kitchen before they left for the coffee shop. “Rick’s not going to want to be a part of this baby’s life.”

  “Then he should have worn a condom.”

  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Really? Because it seems you told me you used one with Mom, and look what happened.”

  He sighed. “Good point. Except he’s a forty-something-year-old doctor who should damn well know better. And he’s twice your age.”

  “You’re going to go dad on me now?”

  “No, I’d like to go dad on him.”

  “Well, at least you’re not throwing me out for being knocked up.”

  It was her snarky smile that finally did him in and pulled the laugh from him. He wrapped his arms around her as she broke down and started crying.

  “I don’t want to be tied to him for the rest of my life,” she choked through her sobs. “He’s an asshole, and I was really freaking drunk. I normally never would have had dinner with the guy, much less have slept with the fucker. He’s great-looking, and I figured if other nurses could hate-fuck him, why not me? He’d hit on me before. I just…didn’t want to be alone that night, and I was really fucking drunk.”

  “Even more reason for me to want to beat his ass. Someone who’s drunk can’t give consent. We could file rape charges against him.”

  “Except that would never stick this far out from when it happened. Don’t lie to me and tell me it will, because I work in an ER. I’ve seen enough rape kits done, and seen enough detectives with doubt in their faces. I’m not putting myself through that. Plus I don’t want to ruin his life, I just want him out of mine. Doesn’t help that we work at the same damn hospital. And I called him. It wasn’t rape, because at the time, I was totally willing and wanted it.”

  She blew out a long breath. “I just didn’t want this.”

  “Maybe he won’t want to be involved, but he should at least pay you child support.”

  “I don’t want his support, either.”

  He stared down into her blue eyes. “I can’t force you to sue him for support, but at the very least, give him a chance. Maybe he’ll surprise you. Stranger things have happened.”

  She hitched back another sob and grabbed a piece of paper towel off the roll on the counter. “Only reason I’m going along with this in the first place is because of you. How you reacted.” She blew her nose. “I know you’re right that I at least owe my child a chance to have him in their life. Doesn’t mean I’m going to like it.”

  “If he says no, then you’ll have your answer.”

  “Any word on Mom’s parents?”

  “Not yet. I sent a Facebook message to one of my friends from high school who knew one of her cousins. They haven’t gotten back to me yet.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m not holding my breath.”

  He finally convinced her to let him drive while she navigated. The coffeeshop was across the street from the hospital, and she had him park in the public parking garage next door.

  He wished Caleb was there with him, but this couldn’t wait. The sooner she faced Rick, the better. If for no other reason than it wasn’t healthy for her to be stressing so much when she was pregnant.

  If he could prevent his Ella from repeating what happened to Helen, he’d damn sure be a pushy father.

  And if he could spare another guy the delayed-reaction shock—and guilt—of finding out decades down the road that he’d spread his genes and created another human being, it was worth that, too.

  Maybe she was right and Rick was an asshole who’d tell her to go away.

  Maybe he was right, and the guy would be stand-up.

  Either way, it needed to be settled.

  They arrived first and she chose a booth in the back, in a shadowy corner that offered relative privacy. The guy arrived ten minutes late and was busy scrolling through his phone even as he picked his way back to their table. He wore scrubs and a lab coat and a tense set t
o his jaw that didn’t look natural. Boyd slipped his cell phone into the front pocket of his shirt, where it sat just a hair taller than the pocket itself.

  Rick made no offer to lean in and hug her or even shake her hand. He plopped down in the other side of the booth and finally laid his phone facedown on the table in front of him after sending a dark glare Boyd’s way.

  “I need to make this quick,” he said. “I have to be back at the hospital in twenty minutes. What’s going on, and why couldn’t we do this over the phone?”

  Boyd was glad he’d elected to be there but managed to remain silent.

  Ella took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

  Boyd had honestly expected her to ease into the revelation, not dive in head-first.

  Rick sat back. “So?”

  “It’s yours.”

  His green eyes narrowed, even as his voice dropped. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “I just wanted to tell you.”

  “How do you even know it’s mine?”

  Maybe Ella was holding up better to this than Boyd had expected because Rick was basically giving her all the answers she’d expected Boyd to give her when she’d revealed he was her father. “Because you’re the only guy I’ve slept with in the past twelve months, and I don’t believe in virgin births.”

  “You said you were on the pill.”

  “I am. Was. Guess I’m ‘lucky.’”

  He grabbed his phone and started sliding toward the edge of the booth. “I’m going to need to see some DNA results. If it’s mine, let me see the receipts and I’ll reimburse you for half of an abortion—”

  “I’m keeping it.”

  He froze and stared at her for a long, calculating moment before speaking. His tone dropped. “You try to fucking soak me for child support and I will make sure you never work in another hospital in this area again. I don’t want kids. I don’t even want a girlfriend, and I made that clear when we hooked up.”

  “You mean when she was drunk, don’t you?” Boyd asked. “Nice guy, fucking a woman who couldn’t give true consent.”